NBC finally listened to my plea for shorter shows and only subjected us to a one hour episode of The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night! Yay! Wait, what's that you say? It was on again Wednesday for another hour? Booooo. I thought we lucked out this week. I guess I was wrong. Judging by last week's preview, it looks like the teams are in for a shakeup. Let's see how the
100 calorie snack packcookie crumbles, shall we?
*Helen misses Shanon already. I'm sure Shanon is sobbin' it up at home too, Helen.
*Apparently the “pop challenge” is a recurring feature. The contestants find Ali standing next to a rack of black shirts and a rack of blue shirts. She tells everyone that from now on, they will be competing as blue vs. black. The catch? Not everyone will get to keep their current trainers. Oooo... drama! The winner of the pop challenge will get to pick a trainer. The loser will automatically have their team split up. All others will get assigned a trainer based on the flip of a coin. Oooo... even more drama!
*The pop challenge is a football drill of up/downs in the mud. Only 1 person from each partnership will compete. The first person to get to 100 up/downs will win. Who won? You guessed it! The mean green fighting machine, Tara. Tara and Laura will get to stay with Jillian. Helen comes in last place, but since she has no partner to split from, she automatically has to switch trainers. The new teams look like this:
Mike (Mike had to split from Ron because there was only 1 black spot left)
*Jillian is shocked that she has a new team, but she knows Bob is going to flip. Sione is a lost little puppy without Bob. Jillian wastes no time kicking her team's asses. Bob takes the news especially well and actually doesn't say a whole lot. Kristin is the one breaking down. Bob then takes his new team to the gym and the black team is standing outside. Sione and Bob share a heartfelt hug. Helen cries and hugs him, too. The former Bob team members congregate around Bob and they all begin to cry. You would swear these people just saw their best friend die or something. I understand you are attached to your trainer, but suck it up and move on. Wow, this whole thing is just ridiculous. I feel like I'm watching the Titanic movie. My heart will go on, Bob!!! To complete this whole crazy scene, we are now treated to a montage of the good ol' days with Bob's team set to a sappy sad song. I am cracking up at the sheer ridiculousness of this whole moment.
*Bob talks to Kristin and tells her that he has never been this upset on the show, ever. I guess the F bomb fest with Joelle doesn't count. He says he felt like he was dying. Hey Bob, I hear “Days of Our Lives” is casting. I'll tell them to call you.
*This week's challenge is a long one. Players have 24 hours to put as many miles on their team's stationary bike as possible. The winning team will win a 3lb advantage at the weigh-in. Every member of the winning team will also win a Trek bike. Only 1 person from the Blue Team competes against 1 person from the Black Team at any time. The members can switch at any time. Mandi is first up for Blue and Mike is first up for Black. Tara goes into the house and gathers some food, drink, blankets, and pillows to keep her team comfortable for the 24 hour challenge.
*The Black Team's strategy is to have each person go on the bike for 30 minutes and then rest for 2 and ½ hours. This will be repeated for the whole 24 hour cycle.
*With 9 hours left in the challenge, Mandi suggests that both teams call a truce and just stop pedaling the bikes. This would allow for proper sleep and muscle rest. Sione is resistant to the idea. He says that no matter how sore he is, he doesn't want to quit. Aubrey agrees with Sione. She doesn't want to “give up”.
*The neverending challenge finally ends and a very preggers Alison is back in the gym with the results. The Blue team biked a total of 264 miles. The Black Team rode a total of 301.9 miles. The Black Team wins the challenge and the 3lb advantage. Tara rode the furthest of anyone with a distance of 58.8 miles.
*Liz Vacceriello, the editor-in-chief of Prevention Magazine, comes to the ranch for a health and wellness quiz contest between the two teams. The winning team will win a “Fountain of Youth” vacation package in St. Augustine, Florida.
First Question: Mandi vs. Helen
True or False? Switching to diet cola will help you live longer.
Correct answer: False
Both women answered False
Blue 1, Black 1
Second Question: Cathy vs. Sione
Which change in your diet is believed to help you live longer? A. Cutting fat B. Cutting calories
Correct answer: B
Cathy answered A and Sione answered B
Blue 1, Black 2
Third Question: Dane vs. Filipe
Which exercise is believed to help you live longer? A. Doing pushups regularly B. Doing squats regularly
Correct answer: B
Dane answered A and Filipe answered B
Blue 1, Black 3
With that, the Black Team wins.
*The trainers are crazy brutal with their last chance workouts. No surprises there.
*The Blue Team and Black Team are weighing in for the first time as these new teams. The losing team will be forced to vote off one of the team's members. The person with the highest percentage of weight loss on the losing team will have immunity. Here are the results!
Dane: Last week 325/This week 312 (-13)
Dane has lost 100lbs in 8 weeks. That is the fastest any contestant has lost 100lbs.
Team Percentage: (-13) -.78%
Aubrey: Last week 216/This week 211 (-5)
Team Percentage: (-18) -1.09%
Mandi: Last week 210/This week 203 (-7)
Team Percentage: (-25) -1.51%
Ron: Last week 354/This week 349 (-5)
Team Percentage: (-30) -1.81
Kristin: Last week 289/This week 279 (-10)
Team Percentage: (-40) -2.41%
Cathy: Last week 263/This week 249 (-14) Wow!!!
Total Team Percentage: (-54) -3.26%
Team Percentage: -.19%
Helen: Last week 205/This week 198 (-7)
Team Percentage: (-10) -.64%
Laura: Last week 241/This week 233 (-8)
Team Percentage: (-18) -1.15%
Tara: Last week 222/This week 211 (-11) Is this girl a machine?
Team Percentage: (-29) -1.86%
Mike: Last week 307/This week 297 (-10)
Team Percentage: (-39) -2.50%
Filipe: Last week 291/This week 283 (-8)
Team Percentage: (-47) -3.01%
Sione: Last week 296/This week 286 (-10)
Total Team Percentage: (-57) -3.65%
Black Team wins! Blue Team will have to eliminate a team member. Cathy has immunity because she had the highest percentage of weight loss.
*The Blue Team talks. Ron wants Dane to go home because he has the support at home. Ron wants to stay. Dane reminds them they are a new team and they aren't the old Jillian/Bob teams. Dane thinks Ron is looking out for his son because Dane is a threat to Mike. Mandi starts to cry and says she can't vote for Dane. Dane begins to cry at the thought of going home. Mike is afraid his dad is going to home. Okay Mike, I think the storyline of you and your dad got old about 4 weeks ago.
*The votes are in!
Aubrey votes for Kristin (what?!)
Dane votes for Ron
Mandi votes for Ron
Ron votes for Dane
Cathy votes for Dane
Kristin votes for Dane
Wow, that's a really dumb team move. Dane is a weight losing fiend. Not sure why Blue did that, but okay.
Since leaving the ranch, Dane ran a marathon with his wife. She's a pretty woman. Wow. He finished the 26 mile marathon in 3 hours and 53 minutes. He plans to continue running marathons. Hey. Wait a second. How much weight has he lost? Don't be stingy with the goods now NBC!
*Next week, Mike does something kind for Mandi. Did you know that Mandi has a family back home? Apparently she has a husband and some kids. I'm not sure I've ever heard that before. Everyone makes a huge deal out of whatever it is. Jillian flips her lid and makes Laura and Tara cry. She claims she does “by far” the meanest thing she's ever done. Ohhhh, I can't wait!! I want Jillian to go back to the old, sassy, mean, butt-whoopin' spitfire she used to be.
That's all for this week, ladies and gents. Join us next week for another episode. You know I'll be back with another recap for those of you who who have more important things to do than watch the show. You know, like wash your hair or watch water boil. Who are we kidding? I know you are watching Idol.