So last week, we were treated to a half the fat, half the calories Ė and half the flavor Ė type of show, whittled down to a lean hour with no weigh-in. And a Biggest Loser episode with no weigh-in is like a less-funny episode of Mike and Molly. To bring everyone up to date with non-events: the ranchís Green Team, Jen & Jay, were dispatched to Team Unknown Trainers for a week, and there was a competition for letters from home. Thatís it, yeah. This week, everyone anxiously awaits the arrival of Team UT at the ranch. Thereís discord within, however, as Red Team guy Q disses new trainer Cara by wandering away. Yellow Team douchebag Justin Ė or is it Rulon? Ė anyway, one of the enormous dudes in the yellow tís butts in to a vocal showdown between tiny Cara and angry, sweaty Q. The Yellow Team must be looking forward to being jerks to a whole new set of people.
The mood is considerably lighter at Team Bob & Jillianís ranch, with Hannah having a breakthrough moment when she performs a backbend. Iím impressed, since the only thing that occurs to me during backbends is how much I freakiní hate #?$@(#!Y!! backbends. Jen & Jay return for the teamís weigh-in (thatís right, two weigh-ins this week to make up for the lameness of none last week). Without further ado, I bring you the numbers we should have gotten then:
Jen, start weight 242, loss -6
Jay, start weight 350, loss -9, 2.53%
Arthur, start weight 459, loss -9
Jesse, start weight 269, loss -3, 1.65%
Courtney, start weight 292, loss -10
Marci, start weight 211, loss -3, 2.58%
Hannah, start weight 220, loss -3
Olivia, start weight 233, loss -5, 1.77%
Irene, start weight 224, gain +6
Don, start weight 280, gain +6, +2.38% (insert gasps here)
If youíve been watching, itís no great shock to learn that Don yearns to follow his twin brother home. Don & Irene admit their respective gains are a deliberate ploy to have Don voted off the ranch. In an admirable show of restraint, Allison Sweeney cuts the drama to the chase and asks for a show of hands among the teams rather than a formal vote. Itís unanimous, and Don gets his wish and is sent packing.
Ali brings Team UT and Team BJ together again at the ranch, and lays down the law for the next week: Team UT will be eliminating one member this week, based on a weigh-in among their team only. Team BJ can win themselves immunity by beating their previous weekís total weight loss (48 lbs) at their own weigh-in. Otherwise, they will also bid adieu to one of their members. Meanwhile, the new trainers gear up for the workouts at their new digs, and both teams hit the gym. Bob & Jillian are absent, and their team quietly observes Cara & Brettís techniques. Presumably those techniques do not include Yellow Teamís Rulon demolishing not one, but two treadmills under his weight.
Challenge time, and Team UTís Yellow Team is disappointed to learn they will not be competing against Team BJ. As it turns out, Team BJ gets a pass on the challenge this week, leaving Team UT to play Aliís games. Each UT color team is given a set of weights, and a pole. The color teams will compete against each other, placing weights on opposing teamsí poles. When a teamís pole contains 500 lbs of weights, theyíre out. The winning duo will receive immunity at the weigh-in. Not surprisingly, everyone bands together to gang up on the Red Team, supposedly for their lack of effort in the gym. Also not surprisingly, Team Bully, otherwise known as Yellow Team, prevails and wins immunity.
Thereís some faintly amusing footage of Team BJís last-chance workout, where Jillian makes Green Team Jen carry her for a lap around the gym. Art tests the weight limit on the stair-climber, complaining that the machines arenít meant to hold someone his size. He likely has a point, as itís entirely possible he outweighs some of the machines.
On to the weigh-in room, where both Team UT and Team BJ, sans trainers, assemble in front of Ali (whose pinstripe dress is corset-tight) and the scale. Team BJ is up first. No percentages for them, as itís only total weight loss that counts for the immunity challenge.
Irene, start weight 224 (her 6-lb gain from last week not included), loss -8
Jen, start weight 236, loss -4
Jay, start weight 341, loss -10
Hannah, start weight 217, loss -7
Olivia, start weight 228, loss -4
Courtney, start weight 282, loss -7
Marci, start weight 208, loss -8
Art, start weight 450, loss -6
Jesse, start weight 266, loss -9
Itís a runaway victory for Team BJ, who loses 63 lbs in total, 15 more than required for immunity. Thereís a brief celebration and itís on to Team UT, facing their first elimination.
Yellow Team (immune from elimination)
Rulon, start weight 411, loss -17
Justin, start weight 308, loss -16
Q, start weight 398, loss -13
Larialmy, start weight 270, loss -11, 3.59%
Austin, start weight 342, loss -16
Ken, start weight 335, loss -14, 4.43%
Moses, start weight 365, loss -14
Kaylee, start weight 204, loss -9, 4.04%
Deni, start weight 221, loss -11
Sarah, start weight 231, loss -9, 4.42%
Team BJ departs intact, while Team UTís Red Team is bitter over their loss in spite of their respectable numbers. Q & Larialmy, a married couple, has discussed their situation between themselves and asks their team to vote off Larialmy. Team UT acquiesces after some grumbling at Q and Larialmy is sent home.
Both Don and Larialmy prove successful at home Ė Don drops from 309 lbs to 222, while Larialmy sheds a total of 74 lbs, from 301 to 227. Next week Ė a tag-team cage match between the four trainers. Curtis Stone will officiate.
Hey, it could happen.