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Thread: 3/24 Biggest Loser Recap: The Green Machine

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    FORT Writer AshleyPSU's Avatar
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    3/24 Biggest Loser Recap: The Green Machine

    I'm kind of sick of President Obama and NBC getting my hopes up. A few weeks ago when the President spoke, there was only an hour of the Biggest Loser after. I thought, “Woo!! Only an hour this week!” But I was sadly mistaken as a second installment aired the next evening. This week I saw that President Obama was going to be on at 8. I thought, “Yes! This time there really will be only an hour!” I was wrong again. Just like the Blue Team, I can't catch a break. Speaking of the Blue Team, let's see how many times they can be beaten and humiliated by Tara the Black Team this week, shall we?

    As the show opens, the Blue Team returns to the house and the Black Team is shocked that Aubrey didn't go home. I'm still a little shocked that Kristin voted off her mother, but hey, I'm also a little shocked that Kristin thinks she looks good with her hair streaked like that.

    The contestants walk into the gym to find Alison standing with a bunch of mannequins that are wearing shirts in various Biggest Loser original team colors. It's about time they go from teams to individuals! Watching the Blue Team die a slow death was starting to bore me. They get to wear their original colors once again.

    In case you can't remember from 3 years ago when this season started, the colors are...

    Kristin = Purple
    Aubrey = Yellow
    Tara and Laura = Green
    Helen = Pink
    Sione and Filipe = Blue
    Mike and Ron = Brown

    Mike has lost 118lbs while on the ranch. Alison shows him what his original shirt looked like when he came to campus. They hold it up to him to see the change. Aww, I heart Mikey. *school girl giggle*
    As an added surprise to the contestants, they get to pick which trainer will train them for the rest of the season. Bob's Bitches Filipe and Sione do cartwheels and then pee themselves. Okay, they didn't. Well, I bet they secretly did.

    Everyone is given 30 minutes to decide which trainer they want to choose. They all walk into the gym to find Bob and Jillian waiting. Helen is afraid to choose in front of the almighty trainers, but we all have to grow up sometime honey. They get to pick in the order of highest % of weight loss to lowest. Of course, Tara gets to go first because she's winning the game so far.

    Tara = Jillian
    Mike = Jillian
    Bob's heart broke on the spot and Ron calls his son an 18 year old idiot.
    Helen = Jillian
    Jeez, no love for Bob!!
    Kristin = Bob
    Filipe = Bob
    Sione = Bob
    The bromance is back!!
    Ron = Bob
    Laura = Jillian
    Aubrey = Bob

    In the gym, Kristin asks Bob to focus more on her and less on his Tongan beefcakes. She is really close to reaching the 100lb mark and needs Bob's close attention and guidance to get there. I'm kind of sick of hearing Kristin talk. Moving on.

    Apparently this week's challenge is going to be in 2 parts. I know that because I'm so smart Alison tells us. The players walk into the basketball court area of the ranch to find Alison waiting with a bunch of tables. On these tables are blocks of each player's color representing the amount of weight that person has lost. For Part 1 of the challenge, each player will distribute weight to other players. This weight will come into play in Part 2 of the challenge. Ugh, I hate these kind of “handicapping” challenges because everyone usually gangs up on one person. Alison won't tell the players what Part 2 of the challenge is, but only informs them that the winner of the challenge will have immunity at the weigh-in.

    Aubrey goes first and distributes her weight to all the people using Jillian for a trainer. Ron “The Don” gives most of his weight to Helen and the rest to Tara. She's a traitor you know. *rolling eyes* He says that she's “left the pack” and he isn't going to put up with that. How about your son there buddy? Filipe and Sione give Tara and Helen their weight. Mike gives weight to Tara. Helen gets some payback by giving her weight to those who gave her weight. Tara gives all of her weight to Sione. At the end of Part 1 of this week's challenge:

    Ron has 37lbs
    Mike has 63lbs
    Filipe has 67 lbs
    Aubrey has 72lbs
    Sione has 92lbs
    Helen has 215lbs
    Tara has 257lbs
    Tara and Aubrey exchange words because Tara is sick of always being ganged up on and Aubrey tells her it's all in fun. She tells Aubrey to shut her mouth. Oh no she didn't!! I would have smacked her.

    Tara is super pissed at everyone and puts her hood up and runs away. I guess if her hood is up, people can't see her. I mean that's basic Kindergarten knowledge right there! Aubrey and Kristin try to talk to her but she just wants to be alone. She goes for a walk to blow off some steam. Laura finds her and gives her a big hug. Tara tells Laura she is going to throw the next weigh-in and send herself home. We could only hope. She is done with everyone's crap, yada yada. Laura tries to talk her out of it, but Tara claims “she's done”. Like my old teacher used to say, cookies are “done” but people are “finished”. Yeah, take that Tara. Laura blabbers on and on about how Tara needs to finish things for herself and not worry about others. I guess we'll see what happens.

    Part 2 of the competition is ready to begin. The contestants head to a race track where they each see a car of their corresponding color. The cars are a little beat up representing how the contestants probably felt at the beginning of the season. But at the end of this long journey, they will feel more like... *cue Nascar driver and fast car now*. I don't follow Nascar at all, but apparently this Clint Bowyer character is famous. He reminds them to stay focused, set goals, and reach those goals. Thank you Mr. Nascar.

    The object of the challenge is to pull a car weighing over 2 tons for nearly ½ a mile. The first person to cross the finish line wins. The extra weight from Part 1 will be added to the car. Not only will the winner get immunity, but Mr. Nascar is also giving away a VIP Guest package for a major Nascar race. That would be torture for me. I would probably throw the competition. Okay, not really but I'd think about it!

    Anyway, the players suit up and get ready to pull their super heavy cars for ½ a mile. Sione and Mike start off strong. Tara lags behind a bit at first, but starts to gain some ground. Are you FREAKING kidding me? Tara has like 1232342343lbs in her car and is still this close to winning the race? I'm not convinced this girl isn't made of gears, wires, and metal. Who crosses the finish line first? Yep, you guessed it. Tara. The woman, the myth, the legend. This girl is unstoppable. I'm kind of bored with Tara always winning though. Tara has immunity this week. Not like she'd need it, but she has it. Mr. Nascar gives Tara the checkered flag and a ride in a yellow Cheerios Corvette. Now I will admit that's pretty cool.

    At the last chance workouts, Jillian screams and Bob's vein bulges in his forehead. You know, nothing new. Tara and Kristin are both hoping to be the first woman on the Biggest Loser campus to lose 100lbs. We hear that about 100 times during last chance workouts. Can they do it? Let's find out!

    The players file into the gym for this week's weigh-in. The 2 players with the lowest percentage of weight loss will fall below the yellow line and be up for elimination. Ooo.. no more bare chests and midriffs! The contestants are sporting tank tops this week!

    Tara: Last week 198/This week 195 (-3) -1.53% She has immunity.
    Tara is 1lb away from reaching 100lbs of weight loss. She has lost 99lbs and ties Ali Vincent's record for weight loss.

    Kristin: Last week 263/This week 255 (-8) -3.04%
    Kristin is the first woman in Biggest Loser history to lose more than 100lbs! Congrats!! She ruins the moment a bit by rambling on, but I'm super happy for her!

    Aubrey: Last week 195/This week 191 (-4) -2.05%

    Mike: Last week 270/This week 264 (-6) -2.22%

    Laura: Last week 220/This week 213 (-7) -3.18%

    Helen: Last week 182/This week 177 (-5) -2.75%

    Sione: Last week 273/This week 266 (-7) -2.56%

    Ron: Last week 327/This week 317 (-10) -3.06%

    Filipe: Last week 267/This week 263 (-4) -1.50%

    Filipe and Aubrey fall below the yellow line. Oh no! Will the bromance between Filipe and Bob be broken up? What will they do?! Aubrey tells everyone she wants to stay and she isn't ready to go home. Filipe said he isn't going to fall on the sword, he just wants everyone to do what's in their hearts. Sione pleads Filipe's case to everyone. Kristin can't decide between her heart and her head.

    Let's count the votes!

    Tara votes for Filipe
    Mike votes for Aubrey
    Laura votes for Filipe
    Helen votes for Aubrey
    Kristin votes for Aubrey
    Ron votes for Aubrey

    With 4 votes, Aubrey is eliminated. She can go home to her husband and kiddos, which is obviously where her heart has been this whole season.

    A day after leaving the ranch, Aubrey heads home to a large party. Her husband practically makes out with her on national TV. Mandi is there and she looks really good. I love her hair! When Aubrey returned home, she weighed 191.. On Day 8 of being home, she had gained 2lbs and was at 193. On Day 19, Aubrey was up to 200. She was slipping back into her old habits. Two months into being at home, Aubrey is beginning to go to the gym again daily and trying to get back into the habit of not always putting other people first. She has lost a total of 10lbs since leaving the ranch and hopes to lose another 30 by the finale.

    Next week, the eliminated players are back for a second chance. Ron has a medical emergency and might have to go home. That's all the teaser we get!? Tsk tsk. Also, I'm sure that Kristin is going to talk a lot, Tara is going to win the challenge, and Filipe is going to continue to be in love with Bob. Can't sit through the same ol' boring crap every week? Check out my recap next week. Same time. Same place.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Re: 3/24 Biggest Loser Recap: The Green Machine

    AshleyPSU, you had me at peeing! You did another excellent recap!

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    vB Tetris Champion beachgirl4's Avatar
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    Re: 3/24 Biggest Loser Recap: The Green Machine

    Great recap - thanks so much!

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    FORT Fanatic workn2hard2day's Avatar
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    Re: 3/24 Biggest Loser Recap: The Green Machine

    snipped for space.....
    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyPSU;3393218;
    Mike = Jillian
    Bob's heart broke on the spot and Ron calls his son an 18 year old idiot.
    poor Bob he did looked like his heart broke a little bit, I thought he was gonna start crying again.

    Thanks for the great re-cap!
    If your not the lead dog the scenery never changes

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