It’s the beginning of week six on The Biggest Loser and we’re down to six competitors. Is it a bad sign that I don’t care which of these people wins? I don’t find any of them particularly likeable. Can Bob win instead?
The morning after Marty’s elimination (and my heartbreak), everyone is a bit stressed out. Heather’s not sweating it: she’ll get to see her family in two weeks. My, aren’t we confident? Erik is clearly not looking forward to telling Bob that he voted to send Marty home. I’d be worried too: Erik may be twice Bob’s size, but I’ll bet Bob could still kick Erik’s ass. He’s wiry. Erik doesn’t have much time to wait because Kim and Bob are running up to the ranch. Do you think they run everywhere? I’ll bet they can blow through the grocery shopping in like 5 minutes.
So how does Bob take the news of Marty’s ouster? Yeah, not so well. When I say that I mean that he is pissed off. Erik tries to explain that he was thinking about the game, but Bob’s having none of it. He tells us that he worked his ass off to build up a team and now that means nothing. He points out to Erik that, as the only Blue Team member left, he has no allies in the game. If he falls below the yellow line, he's gone. On a smurfy note, Bob gets emotional over having to say goodbyes every week. I want to hug him and make all the pain go away.
Now that Marty is gone, Bob is focusing all of his energy on Erik. He urges Erik up the hill (literally) by reminding him that this is Erik’s dream, but Erik contradicts him. At this point, Erik is probably dreaming of pizza and Little Debbie snack cakes. Bob points out that, with Marty gone, Erik is fighting to keep both of them on the ranch. Since Erik had such a huge weight loss – 31 pounds - over the last two weeks, Bob says that Erik has to bust tail to stay above the yellow line.
Jennie-O for Crying Out Loud
Later that night, Kim meets with the Red Team for another clever product placement segment. This week, we’re pimping Jennie-O oven ready turkey. The point is to show them how to prepare a healthy holiday dinner. I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say, there’s a lot of Splenda and non-fat whatever involved. The whole group sits around the table and toasts to their successes. Well, not everyone: I guess Erik and Bob are out of luck. Maybe they’re eating Jennie-O dog food in the kitchen.
Every season, there’s a challenge that requires the contestants to strap on the weight they’ve lost and run around. This is it. They all meet Caroline at Santa Anita racetrack and see a row of barrels. Adrian wisely identifies this as a challenge. What the hell did she think it was? A pickle eating contest? Caroline explains that each contestant has a barrel with his or her name on it, containing the amount of weight they have lost thus far. This time, instead of a fat suit or vest, they get actual weights in the amounts they lost each week. This challenge is meant to remind them all how it felt to carry that much weight. As if to underline the whole “You were really fat” thing, the Goodyear Blimp flies overhead. Like running them around a track used by horses isn’t enough.
At least this challenge requires a little more action than many of the previous challenges where they stand around a lot or put things in a pile. Each contestant will start off a foot race carrying all of the weights, representing the total amount of weight they have lost. Throughout the course, there will be barrels set up to represent each week on the ranch. At each barrel, they have to deposit the amount of weight lost for that week. The winner receives a visit from a loved one for the whole day and night. Because Heather is injured – she has bursitis in both knees – she will be sitting out the challenge.
Man, this just gets better and better. The contestants actually have to stand in the starting gates used in horse racing and an actual horse race commentator will be calling the race. They even play the little “charge” music before the starting gun fires.
In no time, Wylie takes the lead and gets to the first barrel before the others. Unfortunately for him, he drops the weight on the ground at the second barrel and doesn’t immediately realize his mistake. He loses lots of time going back to put the weight into the barrel and in that time, Jaron passes him. See how exciting this is? Yeah, the commentator is WAY too excited by all of this. Soon enough, Adrian passes Wylie as well. Erik and Kai are basically walking at this point, so they’re not even a factor. Jaron wins the Biggest Loser Derby easily and is excited about getting to see his wife. Adrian has the nerve to whine about how homesick she is. Is she serious? She’s been at the ranch for three weeks. Big baby. Jaron says that this is the longest he and his wife have been apart in seven years of marriage. He can’t wait to see her.
Don’t Do it For Yourself: Do it For ME!
Time must have passed, because here comes Jaron’s wife, Tara. She meets everyone and they all act like they aren’t green with envy over Jaron’s win. Jaron’s wife says that obesity is a huge problem in Arkansas so she’s proud of her husband for getting fit. Even though she misses Jaron, she doesn’t want him coming home soon – she wants him to make it to the finals.
Kim takes the Red Team – including Jaron’s wife - for a run the next morning. In the gym, Erik and Bob work out. We see Erik doing chin-ups, boxing and pulling Bob across the floor. Bob explains that this work out needs to be hard because Erik cannot afford to fall below the yellow line. If he does, he’ll be voted out. He reminds Erik again that he is working to keep Bob in the house as well. We get a cheesy montage of Erik’s journey as he tells us in voice over that, after having lost 100 pounds, his new goal is to be one of the finalists. I support that goal since it means that I will get to see Bob.
I See a Hissy Fit in Your Future
Caroline’s now descended into the realm of theme dressing. Tonight’s ensemble? Gypsy fortune teller. The earrings are dragging on the floor, just like her big skirt. Oy. If she shows up next week dressed as a dominatrix, I quit.
Jaron: 223 (8 lbs / 100 lbs total) – 3.46%
Heather: 174 (5 lbs / 49 lbs total) - 2.79%
Kai: 189 (9 lbs / 73 lbs total) – 4.55%
Wylie: 224 (12 lbs / 83 lbs total) - 5.08%
Adrian: 161 (2 lbs / 66 lbs) – 1.23%. Adrian greets the 2 pound weight loss with cries of “No way! No way!” She whines about how hard she worked this week and I just want to smack her (I guess Heather is off the hook this week)
Erik: 295 (12 lbs/ 112 lbs total) – 3.91%.
Adrian and Heather are below the yellow line. Erik is safe. This means that Bob is happy, which means that I am also happy.
The morning after the weigh-in, Bob and Kim arrive to find out the results. It’s immediately clear – by their sour faces – which two contestants are below the yellow line. As they all share their weight loss numbers, Kim agrees with Adrian that two pounds is not the best. Way to motivate her, Kimmie. Adrian whines about how discouraged she is and Kim finds her caring nurturer long enough to urge Adrian not to give up. Bob, of course, is beaming. Instead of allowing Erik to enjoy his success, Bob begins talking about the next weigh-in, which is the one that determines who makes it to the finals.
Don’t Let the Door Hit Ya!
Once again, it’s time for the elimination. Caroline is resplendent in…..Oh holy night, what is that? Seriously, I have no words. The less said the better. Anyway, on to the votes.
It’s no surprise who Kai votes for. After all, Heather is like her separated at birth twin or something. One vote for Adrian.
Jaron explains that, if he makes it to the finals, he wants to be with people who will push him. He wants to keep a friend around. That’s one vote for Heather.
Erik claims to be voting for the person who is the strongest competitor, an athlete and a winner who will reach her goals no matter what. He also considered his loyalty to the original ranchers. With that, Adrian gets two votes and she’s out. Even if Wylie had voted for Heather and there was a tie, the person with the lowest percentage of weight loss – Adrian – would be going home.
Adrian says goodbye to everyone and Erik tells her that he’d be proud if his little girls turned out like her: she’s a toughie. At this point, Adrian starts blubbering. Would you really want your daughters to grow up to be whining drama queens?
Caroline reminds the remaining five contestants that they are now entering their final week on the ranch and there is only one elimination left before the finale.
Following Up with Adrian
Just after her elimination, Adrian promised that, the next time we saw her, she’ll be one of the smallest contestants ever on The Biggest Loser. So, how did Adrian do when she went home? Since leaving the ranch, Adrian has gained 5 pounds, in spite of a strenuous work-out schedule. She seems to be in better spirits than she was at the ranch and says she feels like she got herself back. Her goal is to weigh 145 pounds at the finale.
Next week: It’s the final episode before the big finale. The show is another super-sized extravaganza meant to drive me insane, so tune in an hour early.