Welcome to week two of The Biggest Loser! We’ve got another two-hour show this week and, even with a million commercial breaks, that’s still a lot of show to get through, so let’s get to it right now! Last week the teams managed to lose a total of 206 pounds….or 443 if you count Jennifer.
We join the teams just after the elimination ceremony. What’s left of the Red Team returns to find a veritable buffet o’ fat awaiting them: every sweet and greasy treat you can imagine and lots of it. It seems that no one is tempted because that’s pretty much the last we see of that. Just then, the Blue Team arrives to find out how the elimination ceremony went. Pam tells them that it sucked a lot. In a moment of what could be denial, the Red Team all agrees that Jen will be able to continue with her fitness regime on her own. We know from the follow-up last week that this is true but really, it just sounds like they’re trying to make themselves feel better. Jen could just as easily have gone home and fallen into a vat of Häagen-Dazs, never to be heard from again.
What’s already very obvious to both teams is that the Blue Team is a cohesive unit. The Red Team? Not so much. Bobby says that the Blue Team will just have to keep on winning weigh-ins so that they don’t have to go to an elimination ceremony.
A Very Big Announcement
The morning after the elimination, Fitness Barbie arrives at he ranch to meet with her Red Team. She claims that she wants them to feed off her positive energy, while they simply want to feed *rimshot* Kim claims to have very exciting news for her team. Whenever someone prefaces an announcement with “very exciting,” you know that means “I think it’s exciting, but you will think it sucks.” The news: they will be training at the beach all week. Cue the crickets. Yeah, I wouldn’t be excited either. Working out in the sand is a bitch. I’m not sure that any of the contestants have actually tried working out at the beach before, but they’ve probably avoided the beach for other reasons. Wylie confirms this by admitting that, even though he lives in Florida, he avoids the beach. Considering that Florida is basically one big peninsula, I find that a pretty impressive feat.
Running Bob arrives to give the “exciting news” to his Blue Team. Oddly, they’re actually excited. Melinda, who is sweetly naïve, says that she can’t wait to see the Pacific Ocean. Yeah, she can puke in the Pacific Ocean after Bob makes her do sprints in the sand for 30 minutes. Bob tells Erik that running in the sand will kill him. Is that a stab at personal motivation, Bob? Maybe you could work on your technique a little. Coincidentally, Bob has a skull on the back of his shirt. Hmmmm……
Just when you thought morale on the Red Team couldn’t get any worse, Ken learns that his son is suffering from an infection related to a recent surgery. He speaks to someone at the hospital to get an update on his condition. Ken is in tears and worried sick. Should he stay at the ranch or go home to be with his son? He talks it over with Kim and they hug it out. Ken decides to stay because he says he wouldn’t be able to do anything for his son at home. Both teams take a moment to pray together. Heather leads the prayer and I prove that I am a cynical bitch when I roll my eyes as she starts to cry. Really, she could be sincere with the tears but I can’t help remembering how she screeched at Jen before the elimination ceremony last week.
Everyone packs up their bikinis and Speedos and the teams head off for the beach in mustang convertibles – in red and blue, natch. Bob tells us that the purpose of taking them to the beach is to show that you don’t have to go to a gym to work out.
When they arrive at the beach, the camp is already set up. Unfortunately for the contestants who were hoping for a sunny day at the beach, it looks kind of gloomy and like it might rain. As they approach the camp Melinda assesses the situation and then concludes that this will be great. How hard can a workout at the beach be? It’s almost sad how naïve she is. Bob announces that this will be a boot camp in the sand and, in no time, the Blue Team is crawling all over the place and carrying huge logs of driftwood. Bob has them run sprints and then makes them crawl up the beach on their hands and feet. Yeah, how hard could a workout in the sand be?
The Red Team is being led through a circuit workout by Kim. Pam says that she hates working out at the beach. Wylie is having a hard time of it and Kim is all over him, yelling and trying to get him to move. The Blue Team is working away and sweating like crazy. Bob tells us that Erik is an example of what he does really well: he can talk to Erik like a man to get him to pick himself up and keep going. Bob says he just has to tap into Erik’s inner strength. After having run back and forth in sand while carrying a big log, I think Erik’s inner strength might be a wee bit tired too.
Sand, Sand Everywhere
With the first session of abuse over, Kim tries to bolster the troops by telling them that there is something special waiting for them down the beach. They will have to run down the beach to find the surprise, which already tells me this isn’t going to be a fun surprise. Bob cautions his team, “If you play, you pay…and you do not want to pay me back.” He then tells us that he’s feeling proud and confident in his team. Foreshadowing? We’ll find out in a minute.
Down the beach, the teams face rows of little sand castles. A sign informs them that if they chose, they can pick a castle and dig. Some castles hide chocolate (175 calories), while others hide a carrot stick (30 calories). One sand castle holds immunity from elimination. The Blue Team talks it over and Bobby can’t stop harping on the fact that the chocolate is “only” 175 calories. They remind each other of Bob’s words and none of them want to pay. The Red Team decides they can’t afford to take the chance of getting the chocolate. Finally, the Blue Team agrees that they don’t want to do it because it might hurt them if someone does get immunity: maybe the immunity winner would be questioned about their commitment to hard work if they were safe from elimination.
Back at the camp, Bob and Kim wait. The teams slink back looking guilty but then reveal that they didn't give in to temptation. Kim is happy that her team is showing some willpower because there is a lot of temptation in the real world. Bob is proud that the Blue Team is working together like a tight knit group.
It’s time for some more food talk as Kim and Bob help prepare dinner with the teams. The short version is that barbeques are fraught with hidden evils, er, calories. As they prep the turkey burgers, Bobby tells us that he’s probably safe from elimination because he can cook. Dinner is over and Bob announces that he thinks they should all sleep out on the beach. He probably came up with that idea after he saw all of the tents pitched at the camp when they arrived. They’re all so tired from today’s torturous workout that they could sleep soundly on a bed of nails.
Biggest Loser at Home Update #1
Throughout the season, we’ll be checking in with the 36 contestants who weren’t chosen to stay at the ranch. First up tonight is Adrian from North Dakota. Adrian is getting ready to graduate from college and in week 1, she’s feeling really overwhelmed. By week 4, however, she’s already down 4 sizes. By week 7, Adrian is almost the same size she was in high school. We’ll have to wait and see if she’ll be one of the two to return to the ranch.
Not a Day at the Beach
The next morning, everyone awakens for a little morning yoga. The teams work out separately, but do similar routines. Bob urges his team to relax and feel the energy from the earth and sand coming up into their bodies. *OMMMMM* As Bob leads them through various positions, Bobby complains that his body just doesn’t bend that way. Melinda, on the other hand, loved the yoga. The Red Team is put through their paces by Kim and she’s having a hard time getting them to take any of it seriously. They’re all whining and giggling. Heather states the obvious, saying that the Red Team is different from the Blue Team. Cue more giggling from Nelson. Kim has finally had enough and he decides to bring down the hammer. Since I’ve been wishing I could reach through the TV screen and slap everyone on the Red Team, I’m glad Kim will be doing it for me. She proceeds to run the hell out of them. She hands out bags for them to fill with sand and then carry as they run up and down the beach. “If you don’t want it, you can go home!” she bellows. Man, that is one pissed off blonde. None of the Red Team seems to take their trainer very seriously. They continue to whine and not work very hard….and wish that Bob was their trainer.
Now that everyone is warmed up and feeling super-motivated, it’s time for the next challenge! The teams meet Caroline and she confirms that this is the toughest gym they’ve ever been to….not that they’ve probably been to all that many gyms. Caroline explains this week’s challenge. Each team has the same set-up. Atop a sort of makeshift basketball post hangs a team flag. Below the flag is a large tarp, onto which the teams must pile enough sand for someone to climb up and grab the flag, which hangs 14 feet above. The prize for the winning team is a huge motivation: a care package from home.
Biggest Loser at Home Update #2
Our next at home visit will be with Ken from North Carolina. He was definitely not happy about being sent home, but has decided that maybe this is a part of his purpose. Ken’s goal shirt – a rather hideous, green button down that Caroline’s wardrobe person would probably love – hangs on the wall. As the weeks pass, he can get the shirt on and by week 7, he can button it up. It’s cool that he made his goal, but now that he’s able to put it on, he should never wear that shirt again. Ever.
Meanwhile, Back at the Beach
The teams talk about how much the care package means to them and how much they miss their families. In addition to the care package, Caroline tells the teams that the winning team will be able to decide which member of the Blue Team sits out the weigh-in. Because the Blue Team has one more member, Brian (whose knee is out of whack) will sit out the challenge. The challenge begins and everyone has lots of energy.
Using canvas fabric to carry the wet sand, the teams run back and forth, adding to their respective piles. Cue the unflattering shots of…. Oh, Lord whose behind is that?....trying to make the sand pile solid by laying on it. They’re all huffing and puffing and whining and after 20 minutes, the piles are still crumbling and neither team is even close. As the piles get taller, team members take to laying around the base of the piles to keep them from collapsing. The Blue Team chooses Marty to grab for the flag and the Red Team chooses Nelson. They continue to pile on the sand and there’s lots of sweating and whining and bleeping. Boy, they’re getting annoyed with each other.
After 50 minutes, Marty makes another try for the flag, but still can’t reach. Nelson’s strategy of making a run for the sand pile and then launching himself at the flag takes a wrong turn when he comes down right on Wylie. In come the medics as Wylie moans in pain. It seems that Nelson came down on his shoulder, right by his neck. Youch. After the medics check Wylie out and he’s cleared to continue, the competition restarts.
Hey, you know what? It’s really boring to watch people put sand in a pile. After an hour, Marty makes another unsuccessful grab for the flag. The Red Team begins to pile actual sand bags onto the top of their pile and that strategy works: Nelson is able to grab the flag and the Red Team wins the competition. They all cry, even the Blue Team, probably because they’re completely exhausted. Kai does the ugly cry, while Marty tells us that he had to remind himself that this is just a game so he doesn’t feel too disappointed.
It’s like Christmas morning as the Red Team opens their care packages. Heather gets a picture of her husband and kid and a letter from her husband. In it, he encourages her by saying that he’s proud of her and he would only divorce her is she stayed over 200 pounds for a year. Har har. Feel the love. Everyone opens their packages and cries. Wylie cries too, but mainly because he now can’t move his neck. In Kai’s care package is a gift from her niece and nephew, both of whom are autistic. She explains that autistic children often get very attached to certain objects. That makes this gift even more memorable: her nephew sent her a little red car that has been his “object.”
Biggest Loser at Home Update #3
Our next “home visit” is with John from Arizona and he appears to really in the running to return to the ranch. By week 7, he’s down to 276 pounds. According to the official website, John started out at 356 pounds. While he claims that being his own coach is tough, he’s certainly getting results. The medical exam performed at the beginning of the show revealed that John had Type 2 Diabetes. At a follow-up appointment after his considerable weight loss, John learns that his Diabetes is under control through diet and exercise. It’s great news for this father of six.
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
The teams arrive back at the ranch tied and hungry. The Blue Team is feeling demoralized over having lost the challenge. Kim arrives to hear the good news that her team won, while Bob tries to motivate his team after their loss. While they’re all sad about not winning the care package, Bob urges them to move forward and work to win the weigh-in. They all hit the gym and Bob puts them through their paces. Erik says that he might die first, but they will win the weigh-in. That’s commitment. After the workout, they all feel better and it’s a smurfy lesson about the ability of endorphins to help elevate your mood.
The next morning, everyone shows off their goal clothes. Pam, Heather and Kai all have jeans they want to fit into. Kai vows to buy stiletto boots when she gets skinny, saying that fat girls wearing stilettos just look like they’re drilling for oil (*snort*) Brian shows off suit he wore at rehearsal dinner and his wedding ring, which now doesn’t fit. He hopes to fit back into both of them. For Melinda, the outfit of choice is much skimpier than the others: sexy lingerie.
Bob arrives to meet with the Blue Team and fit in this week’s subtle product placement. The product this week? One-A-Day vitamins. The Blue Team eats their breakfast of cereal and yogurt as Bob talks about the virtues of multi vitamins. Once that little piece of business is out of the way, they hit the gym, along with the Red Team, for a last chance workout. Bob tells us that week 2 is the toughest and that all they need to focus on is winning the weigh-in.
It’s time for the weigh-in and there are still 45 minutes left in the show. How will they fill all that time? I vote for either long commercial breaks or a catfight at the elimination. Maybe both.
Caroline compliments the contestants, saying that they all look fantastic. Because the Red Team won this week’s challenge, Caroline reminds them that they can choose the member of the Blue Team whose weight loss will not be added to their team’s total this week. The Red Team chooses Erik to sit out the weigh-in based on the fact that he worked so hard this week after not dropping a big number at the last weigh-in. Was that a smart decision? Let’s find out!
Erik: 375 (16 lbs/32 lbs total)
Marty: 329 (16 lbs/36 total)
Amy: 236 (8 lbs/24 lbs total
Melinda: 221 (4 lbs/15 lbs total)
Tiffany: 236 (7 lbs/19lbs total)
Brian: 277 (8 lbs/31 lbs total)
Bobby: 291 (12 lbs/30 lbs total
Blue Team totals: pounds lost: 55 pounds/ percentage of weight lost: 3.34% loss
In order to top the Blue Team, the Red Team must lose more than 57 lbs.
Pam: 231 (6 lbs/16 lbs total)
Heather: 206 (8 lbs/17 lbs total)
Nelson: 370 (15 lbs/34 lbs total)
Kai: 238 (12 lbs/24 lbs total)
Wylie: 275 (18 lbs/32 lbs total)
*At this point, the Red Team has already won this week’s weigh-in*
Ken: 320 (20 lbs/38 lbs total)
Ken cries tears of joy over having lost so much weight. He says that he is doing this for his son. His father died young and he wants to be around for his son.
Red Team totals: pounds lost: 70 / percentage of weight lost: 4.60%
The Blue Team is clearly bewildered over having lost the weigh-in. Because he lost the most weight on the Blue Team, Marty cannot be eliminated this week.
Good News and Bad News
The next morning, Kim bounces in to get the results of the weigh-in. The Red Team tries to fake her out, pretending that they lost. Apparently, Kim is quite the gullible one, so it’s not all that hard to put one over on her. She looks crestfallen until they reveal that they did, in fact, beat the Blue Team soundly. Relieved that her team won the weigh-in, she scolds them for tricking her. She says that the almost jumped off the balcony in her excitement. Yes, please.
Running Bob is super bummed over the news that the Blue Team lost the weigh-in. They tell Bob that the Red Team decimated them and the look on his face says that he’s sure they’re kidding. Trying to hide his disappointment, he asks them all how much weight they’ve lost and then asks if they’ve ever lost that much weight before. It’s hard to be upset when you hear those numbers, but Bob admits that the elimination won’t be any fun. Bob tells his team that it’s going to be a tough day so they should all go work out. Cue the inspirational music and the montage of the Blue Team working out and vowing to push themselves harder. They all talk about how important this is to them and how much they want to stay at the ranch.
After the work out, the Blue Team meets to discuss their criteria for elimination. They discuss various factors including weight loss percentage and who has the potential to continue with the weight loss on their own. Melinda talks about how they’re all like family now, so this elimination will be really tough. Tiffany takes the opportunity to thank her teammates for inspiring her and picking her up.
We Hardly Knew Ye
It’s time for the elimination ceremony and the Blue Team files in carrying their covered dishes. Caroline Rhea looks appropriately somber. After last night’s weigh-in, Caroline realized how close the Blue Team is and she knows how hard this elimination will be for them. Brian tells her that they look at this as the beginning of another journey. Enough of the touchy-feely stuff, let’s get to the votes!
Melinda says she is voting for someone who is very strong and came here with desire to do the best. This person has seven people (counting Bob) behind them. Her vote is for Tiffany
Tiffany says that the person she is voting for is great to be around and she didn’t have any basis to vote this person off except for who lost least amount of weight. She votes for Melinda.
Bobby asserts that nobody there deserves to go home. He’s only voting because he has to. Bobby claims that this is hardest thing he’s done thus far: even harder than the workouts. He votes for Tiffany.
Brian claims that the first person voted off needs to be someone who is strong and who can do it at home. He thinks that Tiffany is that kind of person.
Amy says that she’s feeling almost sick to her stomach because she loves and respects this person. She also believes in the willpower and strength in this person. With Amy’s vote, Tiffany is out.
Erik and Marty are off the hook and won’t need to reveal their votes. Tiffany vows to her (now) former teammates that she can do this at home. She says her sobbing goodbyes and leaves as her fridge light is extinguished. The Blue Team is sad but they tell Caroline that they feel confident that Tiffany will still be able to do it on her own. So will she?
Immediately following her ouster from the show, Tiffany says that she just wants to spend time alone with her kids when she gets home. She tells us that knowing Bob has changed her life. I have no trouble believing this since just seeing Bob (and his abs) has altered my world view. Anyway, back to Tiffany. She vows to make Bob proud and says that the next time America sees her, they’ll be shocked. Well, I’m a little shocked: Tiffany has only lost 33 pounds total – 14 pounds more than she lost at the ranch. Still, Tiffany is definitely healthier now. Plus, I think I’m used to the insane amounts of weight that people lose on this show, rather than the amount of weight that the average person would lose in the same length of time. Tiffany says that she still working out and, although she’s had some ups and downs and has now hit a bit of a plateau, she wants to lose 50 more pounds and be healthy for her kids.
Next week: The show moves to its regular time of 9 p.m. and the teams are going on a cruise! Royal Caribbean this isn’t: the contestants will be the crew. The team that wins the challenge will get a big surprise: the ship’s passengers are their families.