7/23 Recap: I Put A Spell On You

[Dinahann]

7/23 Recap: I Put A Spell On You

Some of you may be asking yourself how I, Dinahann, a relative newcomer to the writing team, was bestowed the honor of recapping the most popular reality show on television. Is it my great wit, my obvious eloquence, my champion spelling skills? It’s simpler than that. I’m the only one with nothing to do on Saturday night.

Previously on Big Brother, some of the hamsters began figuring out that the houseguests were paired. Eric reined as HOH, and Janelle and Michael were nominated for eviction. After Kaysar won as new HOH, Michael was evicted.

When Michael leaves, Ivette does not get up to say good-bye. Eric just walks away because Michael didn’t apologize after their almost fight that Eric started. Only Janelle and Kaysar seem sad to see Michael leave. Janelle hugs him, and in the diary room she vows to avenge his loss by targeting Ivette and Jenny.

Kaysar says the game has gotten more difficult now that Michael has left. He has lost his partner, and he’s concerned because he suspects all the housemates have partners and he will now be at a disadvantage. The hamsters mill around. Sarah says she is thrilled that Michael is gone, and Ivette dances with glee.

Let The (Mind) Games Begin
April is the first to offer congratulations to Janelle for escaping the chopping block. Fingers crossed behind her back, she tells Janelle she has always liked her. She can’t quite keep a straight face as she says it. Janelle is not fooled, as she knows April has spread rumors about her. April says she thinks people are different in the house than they are outside, and Janelle, with a flick of her cigarette and a sour look at April, says she’s like this all the time. In the diary room, April says she does like Janelle, and she doesn’t like Janelle – she likes her as a person, but not in the game. Since the only context she’s known Janelle in is the game, that doesn’t leave much time to be her buddy.

Kaysar says he’s delivered a crushing blow to the opposition with his HOH win. After the announcement, he, Janelle and Howie head into the gold room for a little gloating and a private confab. Kaysar says he’s going to make the sheeple do a little ass kissing. “This is for you, Mikey.”

Outside, the hamsters are busy scaring themselves. Ivette is worried; she says she’s the only one that Kaysar has argued with. She refers to Janelle as a dumb girl, and says dumb girls always stay. Maggie’s not concerned about herself. She says Kaysar has bigger fish to fry than her….*cue foreboding music* April says she and Jennifer will be nominated. Meanwhile, Howie cautions Kaysar to be strategic instead of emotional, and suggests Maggie and James for the next nominees.

Sex, Lies And Videotape
Kaysar invites the other hamsters to see his HOH room. *cue fake girly cheering* Kaysar is pleased to see he has been given a hookah, an eastern pipe used to smoke flavored tobacco. He has kosher meat in his fridge, which he has missed. The others gradually trail out, and Kaysar tells Janelle that they must be partners now, since both of their original partners are gone. Janelle agrees.

Kaysar says he thinks James and Sarah are a couple. If he can use James he’ll keep him, otherwise he’ll put him up for eviction. He wants to pit the housemates against each other. James and Kaysar have a private talk in the HOH room. James categorically denies that he has a partner in the household. Kaysar says that doesn’t make sense, because he’s paired everyone together but James and Sarah. James seals his fate by not confessing the truth.

Ivette says the other housemates are talking about their romantic relationships and she wants to talk about hers. During a private conversation she tells April she has a girlfriend. April professes honor that Ivette would share that secret with her. She says God brought her to Ivette and advises Ivette to tell the others. So basically she’s saying God wants Ivette to out herself? Ivette is not sure.

Horndog Howie mugs for the camera, explaining his relationship with Rachel. He says they are basically friends, but he’s “always tried to get a piece of her.” They shared a New Year’s kiss years ago. He ogles Rachel and comments on her body. Rachel doesn’t mind –she’d rather he look at her than not be interested.

We Don’t Need No Education
It’s time for the food competition. Kaysar emerges from the house and the hamsters stream behind. A platform has been erected in the backyard with a wheel-of-fortune type spinning wheel and a banner above - Will Spell 4 Food. Kaysar welcomes everyone to the first Big Brother spelling bee. He explains the game: Each of them will chose a covered dish and mount the platform, then uncover the dish to reveal a food. If they are able to correctly spell the food item, they can remove one of the pie shaped PB&J wedges from the wheel. The more wedges removed, the greater the chance that when the wheel is spun at the end it will not land on a PB&J slice, thus giving the hamsters some coveted variety to their diet.

First up to the platform is Ivette. Her food item is avocado and she quickly spells the word. Victorious, she removes a PB&J wedge and takes her seat.

Next up is Janelle. Her food item is spaghetti. She lifts the lid and becomes flustered when she sees the spaghetti. Closing one eye, looking up, she spells: S-P-A-G-E-T-T-I. Wrong. Janelle puts her hands over her eyes in shame. Ivette rails: “I live in a house with a bunch of idiots!”

James takes his turn, and his food is ham. To no one’s surprise he aces the spelling and collects his wedge.

Rachel is next. Her food item is broccoli. Rachel makes counting motions with her hand and scratches her head. This is not good, folks. I’m starting to be proud of James for getting ham right. Rachel is shot down with B-R-O-C-C-L-I.

Jennifer correctly spells mayonnaise, and bounces back to her chair clutching her wedge.

April scores with pepperoni, which is the name of her dog. She gets it right.

Beau can spell asparagus.

Eric successfully spells marshmallow.

Maggie is next. She privately says she is mortified. If it’s not a medical term she can’t spell it, she says, but she manages well with papaya.

Howie takes his place on stage with rhubarb. He flubs it, leaving out the h. R-U-B-A-R-B. Kaysar tells him the spelling was incorrect, and Howie removes his bandanna and throws it down in disgust.

Last up is Sarah and she removes the lid to see *gasp* cauliflower. She grimaces while the others cheer her on. “I’m just nervous.” She says, twisting around and pulling at her hair. C-O-L-I-F-L-O-W-E-R. Incorrectamundo.

The majority of the hamsters correctly spelled their foods, however. Seven of the wedges read “Food” and only four read “PB&J”, so the odds are pretty good, or as Janelle says, “There’s a 75 percent chance we’ll win, or 2 to 1.” ??? Jeez, Louise, didn’t these people graduate from high school?

Kaysar is nominated to give the wheel a spin. Much clapping and screaming abound as the wheel slows, and the housemates begin hugging and rejoicing. Not so fast, guys. Sarah: “We all turned around and uh, that wheel’s still going.” Victory turns to defeat as the wheel stops on PB&J. Everyone moans and groans with the exception of Kaysar, who says he’s secretly glad it turned out this way as it’ll cause a lot of frustration.

Losing My Religion
Next we see loveable Howie again. He says people ask him if he’s Jewish, if he’s Christian, Catholic, or Protestant. None of the above; he’s a Jedi. He trains 24/7: “ A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and self defense, never for attack or aggression.” He expands on his theories, blathering to anyone who’ll listen, wielding an imaginary saber and doing a series of whirling kicks until he’s shot down by Kaysar. “ Jedi’s don’t have sex.” They don’t? Forget being a Jedi.

Lies And Promises
Nomination day is here. Ivette corners Kaysar and tells him that everyone likes him even though he’s decided to be allies with Janelle. She says Janelle would sell anyone down the river in two seconds. She suggests that Kaysar nominate her and Janelle, and “let the people decide.” Ivette thinks a lot of herself, yes? Kaysar listens politely; privately he says that it was a gutsy move, but she should’ve apologized for cursing him. He is unmoved by Ivette’s attempts to smooth over their differences.

Sarah visits next. She’s looking for someone she can trust. This is the perfect opportunity for Kaysar, who repeats his question about Sarah and James being a couple. Little Miss cow eyes denies all. She whispers that James lives in Atlanta and she’s never been there. How could she know him? Kaysar tells her that Beau and Eric have suggested he put James and Sarah up as nominees for eviction.

Sarah scurries off to tell James. Whispering frantically, Sarah tells James they need to tell Kaysar the truth, but James resists. James says Kaysar is playing him against everyone else. He visits with Kaysar again and bad mouths Janelle again. James says that if Kaysar will put up Janelle then he (Kaysar) will be safe, as everyone will respect him. Privately Kaysar says he trusts James, but he can’t put Janelle up, as he promised her and Howie he wouldn’t put either of them up.

Time is up. Kaysar removes the keys and arranges them. He calls everyone in and invites them to gather around the table for the nomination ceremony. He pulls the first key.

Jennifer, you are safe.
Beau, you are safe.
April, you are safe.
Rachel, you are safe.
Eric, you are safe.
Howie, you are safe. (He thanks Kaysar)
Sarah, you are safe.
Ivette, you are safe.
Janelle, you are safe.

James and Maggie are nominated.

Kaysar says James and Maggie are great players, but he has made his decision and must stand by it. Privately he says he knew the housemates expected him to go after the easy targets but he wants to show them he is a great strategist.

James says he is pissed. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Maggie says she found out she couldn’t trust people; it sucks to be nominated.

Eric vows to do everything he can to keep Maggie in the game, even at his own risk.

Who will win the POV? See you next time!

Can you spell antidisestablishmentarianism? E-mail me at Dinahann@fansofrealitytv.com

[Google]

 

[William13]

Since I can't think of anything better to do on a Saturday night, I caught the show too. Your recap managed to bring back every happy moment. Between kaysar's throwing a monkey wrench into the plans of the sheep clique to the houseguest's demonstration of their highly developed English and Math skills, you brought it all back to life.

Jeez, Louise, didn’t these people graduate from high school?

I guess these people were missed out in George Bush's no child left behind program.

Thanks for the recap.

[lopevian]

Great job Dinahann!

[Miss Filangi]

Next we see loveable Howie again. He says people ask him if he’s Jewish, if he’s Christian, Catholic, or Protestant. None of the above; he’s a Jedi. He trains 24/7: “ A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and self defense, never for attack or aggression.” He expands on his theories, blathering to anyone who’ll listen, wielding an imaginary saber and doing a series of whirling kicks until he’s shot down by Kaysar. “ Jedi’s don’t have sex.” They don’t? Forget being a Jedi.

Fantastic job, Dina!

[AsIs]

Awesome Job! I give you an A! LOL

[Tada]

Great job! I love knowing that I can always get caught up on a show, no matter how bad the timeslot is.

And as a first-time watcher of BB, I'm relieved to know that the Food challenges are not all Fear Factor feasts.

[VanJagSol]

Aaah... thanks so much!!

[oneTVslave]

Fantastic job, Dinah!

[tmlw1971]

I missed parts of this episode so I really appreciate your recap. Did Eric actually suggest that Kaysar put up James & Sarah. i didn't see that and so I'm thinking Kaysar is the "King of the Game" and has played James into a scenario that's going to end up costing him in the end.