Hello readers! Tis I, Iguanachocolate, stepping in for the illustrious Yardgnome who is off competing in the Olympics. I jest, but she is off this week and y’all will have to put up with me. If you read my recap for Sunday’s show (and I know y’all did – wait, who didn’t? I’m taking names…), then you know Michelle has nominated Keesha and Libra for eviction. Let’s take it from there, shall we?
Michelle tells Libra and Keesha that she nominated them for eviction because they are tremendous competitors. Yeah, and a little revenge for your boy toy Jessie has absolutely nothing to do with it. Anyway, both expressed not to be surprised to be nominated and Keesha says she is sure that the other blond did some whispering in Michelle’s ear, and though April has been stuck to Michelle like glue, I think this was all Michelle’s decision. Dan is just happy he dodged a bullet by not being nominated. Jerry is off sulking somewhere, I am sure.
Dan does some consoling to Keesha is more angry that April’s key was pulled out first than she is at being nominated. Libra enters and says she knows she is the target and she just wants to see April follow her right out the door – probably the first time Libra and I have ever been in agreement since she has entered the house. In the DR, Keesha is more than happy to let Libra be the fall girl for Jessie’s departure, even though Keesha is the one who orchestrated the wee coup. She’s just going to keep her mouth shut – yeah, good luck with that one, Keesha.
Ah, the ever popular Veto competition is upon us. Dan is fervently hoping Jerry does not get to play, because he knows Jerry has it out for him. Not sure what gave him that idea, Jerry is such a gentleman and never ever says anything negative about Judas. I mean Dan. Well, in the draw for players, Michelle picks April’s name, Keesha picks Memphis and Libra picks Jerry. Poor Dan, he’s not off the hook completely yet. Later, Ollie, April and Jerry talk outside and Jerry is happy that Libra and Keesha are sweating bullets about their nominations. Seems like Keesha’s diversion plan is working as April follows Michelle’s belief that Libra orchestrated the whole Jessie eviction. I guess having the reputation of being a dumb blond (or blond-esque, in Keesha’s case) works in her favor. April says Libra is a compulsive liar and I say, Amen sister! (Not that April is any better, but she’s not nominated, so I have to work with what I have.)
Jerry is wooing Michelle with his anti-Dan speechifying and Michelle says Dan is lucky he’s not been put up for nominations. I say Dan is lucky that there are bigger fish to fry this week. Jerry is sure Dan is America’s Player.
And it is PoV time – the hamsters walk out to find the back yard filled with onions. Thousands of onions, to hear them tell it. I begin to cry at the thought of all those little onion rings that have been sacrificed for Big Brother’s entertainment. Sniff. I need a moment…
Ok, I’m good now. The players have to cut, smash or chop onions and transfer them to a plastic cup that is hung around their necks. Then they must carry them in said cup to two boxes at the other end. One box is a mystery box and the other is for the Power of Veto win. The player with the heaviest veto been at the end of the 45 minutes, will win the PoV. The top two players with the heaviest mystery bins will win special prizes. Memphis decides he doesn’t want to get the PoV and the responsibility that goes along with it, so he just works on filling his mystery box. April splits her boxes down the middle. The players have three ways to cut their onions, they can slice them with a knife, smash them with a hammer or put them through a dicing machine. Libra decides to chop her onions with a knife because, get this, she thinks larger chunks of onions will weigh more. Darling, an onion weighs what it weighs, but is you smash them you can fit more in your cup, thereby maximizing your yield per trip. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to go all Ms. Science on you. Keesha, showing the power of the blonde, tells us that onions make you cry. No, really? Well, dang, stop the presses, this is earth shattering news. Not. On the sidelines, Dan asks Ollie how bad the old man wants to see him gone. Ollie says it seems personal with Jerry. Wow, these houseguests are Mensa bound, I tell you. Finally, time is called and Ollie gets to weigh the boxes. Memphis has the heaviest mystery box and gets to choose an envelope. Oooooh, and Memphis wins the honor of wearing a one of a kind onion necklace for 24 hours! April gets the other envelope and wins 5 designer outfits personally picked out by a stylist just for her. Take that million dollar car boy!
Ah, but we are not here to see the hamster win prizes – we want to know who won the veto: Michelle had 31 pounds, Keesha had 28.8 pounds and is out of the running. Libra comes in at 32 pounds but it is old man Jerry who takes home the Golden Power of Veto. Libra says she’s done and out, but Dan is worried because he knows he is Jerry’s arch enemy this week (it will change I assure you, if Dan wins HoH next week – Jerry will be his best friend then, I am sure of it. As the power goes, so goes Jerry).
Up in the HoH, Michelle lets Jerry know she is proud of him and Jerry simpers that he won it for Jessie. Color me stupid – but when were the Colonel and Jessie such good friends? Oh, yeah, that’s right, when Michelle became HoH. Jerry attempts to make a case for Dan to suffer a bit up on the block, but Michelle really wants the noms to stay the same as she thinks that will assure her enemy Libra will be going home. She ends up telling Jerry to do what he wants with the Veto.
Oooooh, it is time for the feast they won during the Food competition! The hamsters race down to find a table laden with silver dishes and more importantly bottles of wine! Yeah for us! Wine and hamsters make for a good time with this lot. At first it is all smacking lips and then the love making starts when Keesha suggests they go around the table and say what they like about each other. Awwww, how Carebear of them. Of course, Libra has to end it by making a crack about Keesha just being nice to April to get to those designer outfits she won. Yes, world wars always start so innocently, don’t they?
After dinner, we are treated to Libra in the storage room tearfully telling Ollie that she has never been hurt like that and she is a mother (oooh, flashback to Amber last summer – thanks, Libra). And, in practically the next sentence, after she vowed not to campaign against Keesha, tells Ollie that it was Keesha who orchestrated the ousting of the Body without a Brain. Ollie seems pleased by that information.
Meanwhile, up in the HoH, Michelle is trying to get through to a drunken Keesha just how egregious Libra’s throw away dress comment was. She goes and gets April for reinforcements and they bash Keesha over the head with this information until she is all fired up and calling for Libra to show her face and fear her wrath. Libra comes up and says she was just trying to make a joke and Keesha is not buying what she’s selling and their raised screechy voices reach a level to wake my comatose cat from his winter nap. Of course, Keesha never wants April to feel left out, so she says that April was planting “sweet nothings” about Jessie to the other hamsters. April, cool in her icy bitchdom, just lets it pass and that of course winds up Keesha even more, because it is never very fun to have your nemesis not rise to the bait. Keesha ditches the HoH room for the hippie room and Michelle follows her wanting to know what is wrong and why she is so upset – really Michelle? Weren’t you just up in the HoH stirring the pot o’ trouble? Keesha says she “can’t play the middleman between Crazy and Crazier. Amen, sister! (If anyone wants to read the blow by blow live feed version of the fight, you can read my live feed recap of it here – make sure you take a potty break first and get yourself a beverage.)
The PoV Ceremony is upon us. Jerry seems to be under the impression he will get to nominate Dan if one of the girls go down – seems like a pretty good incentive for him to use it. Oh, whatever will the old kiss up do? Well, he begins his moment in the sun with allowing Keesha and Libra to plead their cases – they both say they don’t expect him to use it on them. Then Jerry launches into the Judas shtick he’s been spouting for a while now, how Dan betrayed him, etc. Been there, heard that about a thousand times. Ultimately, he says it is Dan’s lucky day and he does not use the Veto at all. Yeah, same old story from all these houseguests, bluster, bluster, bluster, nothing. Keesha says she’s going to take the kill ‘em with kindness route and Libra is just going to go an all out offensive on Keesha’s ass. Like we expected anything different from you, Libra?
Well, folks, that’s a wrap. Tune in on Thursday to see which witch goes or just read MsFroggy’s recap and watch Michael Phelps make golden history.
Want to start your own Fight Club? PM me…….