I hate these people. There, I said it, now why don’t I feel better? Oh, maybe it’s because I have to sit through another hour of whining, pouting, crying and ego-driven prayers - and that’s just from my end, never mind what the HG’s are doing. And just in case you’re curious, my prayer to God is, “pleaaaaaaase make this season end alreadyyyyyyyyyy!” *sob* *wail* * *heavy sigh*
I’m sure no one has forgotten the last time BB aired, Jen and Dick had a showdown that spiraled out of control with each of them acting like two-year-olds pitching a fit. Jen’s final act of rebellion came in the form of eating everything and anything but slop, which prompted BB to issue her a nomination penalty. With that, Jen was unanimously evicted, and Jessica won HoH. But let’s get on with tonight’s show so we’ll be that much closer to the season ending. Gah.
There seems to be no love lost with Jen’s exit and America’s Putz makes sure to toss one last verbal hand grenade her way as she leaves the house, “Jen, as happy as you are to be leaving, we’re happier to see you go.” Pffffft, he probably worked all night on getting just the right verbiage, the little weasel, and I’m not impressed. Jameka is thrilled she’s survived another week and can remain in the house, although I can’t imagine why. It’s interesting to me, what people will endure for money. I wouldn’t last two hours with these dullards, before I’d be kicking the door, begging to be let out. But Eric’s eyebrow is in overdrive with the thought that Jess is HoH, and everyone, it seems, feels quite safe with her in power.
God Loves The Little Children
Amber comes to Jameka’s room and whispers that she (Amber) told God this wasn’t a good week for her to get HoH, so He should give it to Jess. It takes me two-three minutes to stop laughing when I realize how serious she is. Amber is hoping Jess will put up Dick and Daniele, and Jameka responds with her usual, “hmmm, mmmmm.” Amber’s instincts tell her Jess won’t put her up, but she chants, “I love you God,” over and over just in case. A girl can’t be too cautious, you know.
Getting Your Flirt On - Middle School Style
Jess and Eric are alone when he proposes this question to her - suppose you get 30 minutes with me, sans cameras [gag] do you: a) use it to talk strategy that wouldn’t be aired, b) rip your clothes off and use each of the 30 minutes to make out with me, or c) do you shyly, awkwardly sit for 25 minutes, debating what to do, then spend the last five minutes finally sharing our first kiss. She says since she’s already strategized with him, and if the cameras were gone for sure, she’d pick b). Ick. Naturally he agrees that’s the right answer, and I need to take a break for a moment to get my Pepto-Bismol. Eric says he has no game when it comes to women - no kidding Einstein - like we need him to spell that out for us. I hate these people.
Same HoH room, different pictures on the walls because it's Jessica's turn again. The guys immediately focus in on a picture of Jess with her cheering squad and because Dick is such a fashionista with his tats, spiked hair and the black nail polish on his dainty fingers, I guess he feels he’s qualified to declare they’re all ugly, except Jess.
When Jen left the house she tossed a warning out to Amber, “make sure to tell Jess.” Jess and Amber are finally alone and Jess asks Amber what Jen meant. Amber says Jen wanted Jess to know Eric has a girlfriend, Cheryl, back home. Jess questions whether it’s true because she would hope Eric would tell her before he’d tell Jen. I have serious doubts because, well, after all, it is Eric we’re talking about here. Dick and Eric join the conversation and Dick also wants to know what Jen was referring to, but Amber lies (oooh, I hope we get to hear her explain that to God) and says she has no idea. Dick accepts her answer and leaves Eric alone with the two women. Amber then fills Eric in, which prompts him to chew his fingernails and simply say, “what a bitch,” referring to Jen. For all we know he could have elaborated for three hours, but the edited version of the show that aired on Sunday night certainly left the subject hanging in the air like one of Dick’s lethal farts.
Eric + Amber Sitting In The Yard
Eric and Amber sneak off to the backyard and Eric proceeds to tell her that Jen thought she knew everything about him, but she didn’t. Between Eric’s hemming and hawing, and BB’s heavy hand in editing, I’m not sure what he’s trying to get across except to say I think there is a woman named Cheryl somewhere in his background (it could be a pet hamster - the four-legged kind, for all I know), and he’s tried not to cross any blurred lines, yada, yada, yada. Whether he’s talking about Cheryl, Jess or both, I have no idea. Booyah!
Eric + Jessica Laying In The Bed
Eric comes a-visiting Jess in her HoH room to ask if she’s bothered by Jen’s comment. Once again, BB has edited their conversation so heavily I can’t tell if his comment of “I’m not sure if we’re anything” refers to Cheryl or Jess. Jess wonders aloud why Jen would make such a statement as she’s leaving, and Eric says it was obviously to take one last cheap shot. Yes, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, One Last Cheap Shot Nail Chewer, you. I hate these people.
Isn’t She Too Old To Be A Surly Teenager?
Dick is pestering Dani to eat and reminds her to take her vitamins which sets her off on another Whine Fest, which she in turn bestows upon whoever happens to be sitting next to her. In very short order Dick begins to resent her nasty tone, and when she loudly sighs, he amps up his insistence that they need to work on their problems. In a vicious circle they go, with her getting even shorter with him, eventually unleashing a torrent of “I’m sick of everyone in the house, I’m sick of you farting all the time, I’m sick of your rude comments all the time, I’m sick of you trying to parent me all the time, that’s all.” Dick leaves in a huff, but later he’s like a whipped puppy pleading with her to talk things out with him. Eric and Jess are snuggling in bed together (ick) and overhear the D&D argument. Eric is convinced they’re pretending to argue. I couldn't care less. I hate these people.
Jameka + Jess Talking In The Room
Jameka suggests Jess put D&D on the block, but Jess hates to do that again (besides she has an alliance with them). Jameka says she wants Jess to advance in the game, and Jess assures her she’s not going to put her up. BB’s little bell rings, which is their not-so-subtle hint that things may turn out differently…
BB Cameramen Get A Soapy Eyeful
The first Luxury Comp of the season is upon us and Jess decides the teams will be Girls vs. Boys. Everyone puts on their uniforms (wetsuits), and there are two huge tubs being pumped full of sudsy water. The winners will be rewarded with a two-minute shopping spree, but in order to win, they’ll have to be willing to bare it all. Essentially, they’ll take their uniforms off, put on various tops and bottoms that each have a letter on them, that when put in the correct order, will spell the words, bunnysuits, unitard, and toga. No one seems to have a problem taking their clothes off but the girls easily stomp the guys who I suspect were looking at the ladies more than they were trying to solve the puzzle. The ladies head off to a roomful of new clothes hanging on racks. The rules of the spree will be whatever they can put on in two minutes, they can keep. They begin throwing things over their heads, figuring they’ll sort it out later. Amber is disappointed because most of the things were too small for her, and she points out to us that she’s not as small as she looks. Huh? I hate these people.
Look No Further, Tyra, It’s Me, Amber!
Jameka and Amber are spending some quality time together and Jameka tells Amber that she’s going to be in a magazine one day (yeah, I'm thinking Psychology Today). That’s all the encouragement Amber needs and she’s off and running with the idea and tells Jameka that Nick said she should go on America’s Next Top Model - hasn’t her mother warned her that some guys will tell you anything just to get to third base? Jameka asks if she’d go on the show, and Amber says yes, that she’s got it all - the hair, the face, personality and a really pretty body. (I take another swig of Pepto-Bismol). Also the way she talks, and the fact that she’s outgoing would help her out, too. The whole time she’s mulling this over, BB is showing horrible clips of her shoving food in her mouth, talking with her mouth full - basically the most unflattering pictures they’ve got on tap. Jameka’s got her convinced something amazing is going to come her way after being on BB. I’m thinking something amazing is going to come her way if once this show is over, she doesn’t have people lobbing obscenities (or rotten tomatoes) at her for the things she’s said while here. I hate these people.
Zach + Jess + Eric = Skeevy (Actually Zach + Anyone = Skeevy)
Zach approaches Jess and Eric to try to convince them not to nominate him. He reminds them he’s done everything they’ve asked of him, and tries to assure them he’ll continue to do so. He says if she puts up D&D, she’ll be assured that Jameka will vote with them. Add to her vote, Eric’s and Zach‘s, and she’s got all the votes she needs to get either Dick or Daniele out.
America has chosen Amber as the person Eric should get nominated. Eric and his Eyebrow are thrilled. He scurries up to Jessica’s room and starts bandying about Amber’s name. She’s still torn, however, and needs more time. Eric’s next challenge is to kiss one of the HG’s, and America will decide who the lucky recipient will be. I choose Dick, because that would make me happy because I hate these people.
Zach describes Jess as a smart cookie who does what’s best for her (imagine that?) and the house is a bit tense as they await the ceremony. They gather around the table and Jess says she feels close to everyone, but there are some people in the house she’s had up’s and down’s with, and some people who have been there for her since day one. Eric gets the first key, followed by Daniele, Jameka, and Dick, which means Amber and Zach are on the block. Jess tells them they’re nominated because she’s closer to the others. Zach is shocked and knows he “has to finally work this week to stay in the house.” Amber runs off to pray saying, “hey God, it’s me…I’m not mad at you…God bless you…” I hate these people. If you hate them, too, send me a pm here. Big props go out to Clowe9138 for the first Amber picture!