Just Forting Around
Big Brother 7/29/07 Recap: The BB Ant Farm
I awoke this morning to find ants dining at the all-you-can-eat buffet of the leftover dog food in my dog’s bowl, and because I’m a reality-tv fan, it was only natural for me to look at them as if they were my own personal Big Brother Ant show. Some ants looked as if they were scheming with one another, others appeared to be staying under the radar, and I’m pretty sure one of them was crying…a lot…and often. But getting back to the BB show that the rest of you can enjoy, last week you’ll remember when Mike walked out the front door, Evil Dick immediately announced that it must have been Jen who cast the second vote against Kail. She vehemently denied this, and Eric, looking glaringly guilty, hung his head, in what I can only assume was his lame attempt to hide his face behind that ridiculous 1980’s preppy-collar-sticking-straight-up way in which he wears his polo shirts.
King Ant Dick
Dustin is the new HoH this week, but Dick is still strutting around like King Ant and pompously declares he knows “for sure” it was Jen who voted for Kail. The houseguests are astir, desperately trying to determine who voted for Kail, and Eric is thrilled that his name hasn’t been mentioned once. It’s obvious he’s relishing in his position as America’s puppet boy, or as I like to call it, the Mole Role. Lots of whispering takes place with some thinking it could have been Nick. Someone needs to tell Dick he’s the king of nothing, because he continues needling Jen to find out if she didn’t vote for Kail to be evicted, why not? She says she wanted to vote with the majority of the house which then makes Dick wonder how she knew which way the house was voting. He and Amber conclude it had to be Nick who informed Jen about the strategy, and that prompts Dick to rule that Nick should be the next to go.
Amber - A Study of Years of Tears
We get a black-and-white flashback of Dustin winning HoH, which is followed by Amber in the DR
crying, sobbing, wailing from happiness because she loooooves Dustin. Amber fascinates me. Let’s review, shall we? When excited, Amber cries. When she’s tired, she cries. When frustrated, she cries. Therefore I thought it might be fun to stroll down Amber Memory Lane, and through the magic of the internet, I present you with some of her milestone pictures (I can’t prove these photos are positively Amber, but I think you’ll agree with me there is a strong resemblance, heheh).
I’ll See Your Tears and Raise You a Wail
Dustin has four targets for eviction this week: Jen, Kail, Zach and Nick. Kail is rightfully concerned because she knows Dustin and Amber are best friends, and she put Amber on the block during her reign as HoH. Jen is very comfortable with Dustin as HoH because she feels she’s the reason Joe was evicted, and Dustin will therefore be indebted to her. Everyone dashes upstairs to swoon over Dustin’s HoH room, which prominently displays a picture of Dustin with his mom, dad and brother. Kail is impressed that based on how happy his family looks in pictures, they must not have a problem with his lifestyle choice. Unconditional love must be a novel idea to her. When Dustin sees a letter from his brother, he breaks down crying (too much Amber influence, perhaps?). The other houseguests leave the room, and he tells us his brother is pleased that BB fans will now get to see him for the wonderful guy that he is. He has a complete meltdown in the DR, and I worry what kind of emotional wreck he’ll be if allowed to spend any more time with Amber.
Sitting around the dinner table, Jen makes a comment that she’s eaten so much she feels like she’s going to have a baby. Dick jumps at the chance to harass Jen and asks Kail, since she’s actually had children, if a flip comment like that bothers her. He goes on pontificating about the ridiculousness of young women who haven’t born children yet, fussing over their little dogs as if they were human. Amber says she has a child (she’s a mother, remember?) and a dog, and she loves them both equally. Dick thinks it’s bizarre and frankly I can’t stand looking at either one of them right now. I have a child and two dogs, and as much as I love my dogs, I have no problem distinguishing how I love my daughter more. However, I can’t see getting into an argument with someone about it. These people have been cooped up far too long already, and it’s just a matter of time before they break out into an all-out ant battle leaving dead carcasses strewn about the place. One can hope anyway.
Dick at Night Show
While everyone sleeps, Dick decides it’s time for a little kitchen faucet prank, and he rigs it so that when turned on, it will spray whoever is standing there. This seems rather juvenile to me and I’m not impressed. I saw a video once of a husband hiding under the kitchen sink, and somehow was able to stick his hand up through the drain hole at just the right moment…his wife nearly killed herself running out of the room. Now that’s a prank. Daniele is the lucky recipient of the joke, and I suspect she knows exactly who’s responsible. Oh and by the way, she wasn't impressed either.
The World According to Zach
The houseguests are assembled together and Zach begins weaving a story about the time he went to a comic book convention. He says there were five girls who stripped naked, got tied upside down in chains, wrapped in saran wrap and had eggs cracked on them. As if that wasn’t enough entertainment, the men then proceeded to beat the women with flaming cat-o-nine tails until the flames went out. I haven’t been keeping up with the live feeds, so I know nothing about this mutant, Zach, but apparently he’s been getting his freak on behind the scenes. Dustin describes him as a kind of Eeyore character that everyone tries to avoid. We see several clips of him clearing a room just by entering it. In the DR, Daniele tells us she’d rather eat slop for a week than spend one hour with Zach. Wow, that’s a strong statement coming from someone who doesn’t eat.
The Ties that Bind
Dick corners Daniele for another attempt at a heart-to-heart, but Daniele is sticking to her guns of refusing to give in to him. From what I gather, he has verbally abused her several times in the past, and although he wants her to forget and move on, she’s is not there yet. He admits he hurts people, that he’s an idiot for doing it, and says he's working very hard to stop. He adds that the wounds have cut them both very deeply. They do hug before he leaves the room, but these two need some serious non-televised counseling, and that’s about all I’m going to say about it.
Jessica and Eric are sitting alone when Eric asks if she’d like to teach him some dance moves. He then asks if she wants to waltz but she says she doesn’t know how, so they do the next best thing. He begins flipping her around and she acknowledges that she has a lot of fun with him.
Humpty Scramble Food Comp
The houseguests are split into teams of two and the object of the game is to reassemble a Humpty Dumpty. Whichever team succeeds first, wins, and gets to pick five people to be on slop for one week. Jessica and Jameka (who have been on slop for two weeks now) easily beat the others and choose Dick (because he’s never been on slop yet), Zach (because Jameka doesn’t like him), Kail, Nick (to weaken him) and Jen. Jen puts a positive spin on it saying she’s excited because she has no self-control and it will keep her from eating cookies and pasta.
Real? Or not Real?
To kill time (and possibly as a way of avoiding killing each other, damn it) Dick asks Jen if she’s had a boob job and when she refuses to answer, he tries to trick her by asking if she’s happy with the results of her boob job. She still refuses to answer so he moves on and asks if she’s had a triple-chin reduction. Dick is such an upbeat guy, and is obviously working hard to squelch his hurtful ways. /sarcasm
Watching Ants Scramble
A much more interesting conversation is going on between Kail and Dustin. In one of the dumbest BB moves ever, she suggests he put her up “as a pawn,” telling Dustin if he can get commitments from four houseguests that they won’t vote her out, she’ll trust them. Really? Gah, I wouldn’t, and in the DR, Dustin basically says she’s foolish to suggest it. Dun, dun, dun…
Jen approaches Dustin in the HoH room, and once again he questions if she voted against Kail. She once again denies it, and they both agree it’s as curious as to who put the mustard on her shirt. She even wonders aloud if the voter and the prankster could be the same person, and of course, those of us playing at home know she’s nailed that one.
Eric is pleased to see America has chosen Jen to be nominated, now to see if Eric can get ‘er done. Dustin is considering two options: Zach and Kail, and Jen and Kail. Eric points out that they’re all pretty sure it was Jen and Zach who voted against the house last time (heheh). Dick loves and admires the way Eric thinks, and whoo hoo, is he going to be pissed when he discovers that Eric is America’s Player, and has his own agenda. *I rub my hands together in glee* Eventually Dustin settles on either Kail or Jen, or Nick or Zach need to go.
The next request is for America to vote on the catch phrase Eric will need to start in the BB house. The choices are:
1. Sweet chicken!
3. I’d do that for a dollar!
It’s finally Nomination Day and everyone gathers around the table for Dustin’s declarations which he says are based on competitiveness and strategy. Not surprisingly, Amber is first to discover she’s safe, followed by Jessica, Dick, Jameka, Nick, Zach, Daniele, and Eric, which leaves Jen (because she’s a strong competitor) and Kail (because she has exhibited questionable behavior in the past). Kail privately tells us she hopes she can trust Dustin, but she’ll be sad to learn that even though he agreed to put her up as a pawn, he does indeed want her to go home...but will she? Have you ever been used as a pawn? If so, let me know via a pm here. A big thank you goes to Jewelsy for the Amber picture.
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