*This is a recap of events from noon Friday to noon Saturday, Big Brother House Time*
When I check in to start my shift, the houseguests are already rolling with the mad game talk. Imagine that. Britney and Janelle discuss the various scenarios that could result from the upcoming coaches competition. Poor Britney just doesn't know what she should do if she wins. She says it's so unfair that one of her people has to go home this week. Meh.
Upstairs in HOH, Boogie, Frank, Wil, and Jenn are hanging. Frank wants to be "King of the Speeches" this year and plans to come up with a good one for nominations. Go for it, Frankster. I'm all about the speeches when they're fun and witty. (One of my favorites ever, Matt gave two of the best ever during his season -- the one where he mimicked Jerry and the one when he called Brendan a big dummy. Good times. By the way, you can still hear what Matt has to say about BB during his weekly "Rants" show on SuperPass every Tuesday. Yep, that's a plug). Frank decides they should go hang out downstairs. Remarks are made about how Willie just planted himself in the HOH room for 2 weeks. Frank and Jenn do hang back momentarily to discuss Boogie's idea of trading Ian for Shane. They're not sure at this point if that's good or not.
Joe gives the “V for Very Annoying” sign and wonders why his subjects aren’t paying him enough attention
For the next hour or so, conversations around the house with various combinations of people all revolve around possible trade scenarios. Wil takes a moment to corner Brit and inform her that if he's traded to another team, he's going to stay loyal to the people he's working with now. Translation: if you trade Willie for me, I'm gonna find a way to screw you. Some of the most feasible scenarios seem to be:
1. Brit to trade Willie to Dan. Most of the house says they'd be on board with this cause they could dump Willie and Dan in one fell swoop. Brit, however, says she has no interest in acquiring Danielle.
2. Brit to trade Willie for Ian. Willie suggests this to her, because then it would a big slap in the face to Boogie, plus Frank would be stuck having to work with him.
3. Boogie to trade Ian for Shane. Team Boogie (well, except for Ian who doesn't know yet) think this might be a good idea.
Brit finds herself wishing for the good ol’ days of Brenchel and the Brigade instead of Hurricane Willie
However, the coaches (minus Brit) plan to go into this competition as a united front, complete with eyeblack, to destroy Brit's will and make sure she doesn't win so they can keep everything the same.
At 1:30, the camera zooms in on the diary room door for a few moments, and then the magical trivia screen appears and our 2nd coaches competition of the year is underway.
You know those magical mystical powers everyone says Dan has? Yeah, he gets a daily IV infusion of them through his sweatshirt strings
Two hours later and we're in the bathroom. Janelle seems happy and asks Ashley and Frank "do you think Dan threw it?" So we know Dan didn't win. Britney mopes through so we know she didn't win. Willie's moving stuff into the Have-Not room so that's also a good sign. And thus starts the process of jumping around the feeds to try to piece together information.
I finally decipher that the competition came down to Janelle and Boogie, and Janelle won. They think Dan threw it, and it sounds like Britney did the worst. Janelle got to pick the have-nots, and she chose Britney's team. Ian volunteered to be the 4th. Janelle chose to save Ashley with her win. America selected pork rinds and pudding for the have-not food. I'm all about some pork rinds. Although get ready cause the crunching sounds we'll be hearing this week will be atrocious.
Hurricane Willie roams the house while moving his belongings into the Have Not Room. He attempts to enter the Diary Room but the door won't open. Well of course not, why would production let him in and ruin all the fun? As Shane passes by, Willie lets him know that he's going into the Diary Room to tell them what he's fixin' to do. Our little pumpkin eventually gives up on it, and paces around the house, calling everyone b****** and c****. He's really about to blow. Britney makes a halfhearted plea for him to calm down, it's only Friday, relax for a few days because there's plenty of time. Does Willie listen? Oh no. Not our resident Ragin' Cajun. Joe rushes into the bathroom to tell those gathered there that Willie is running around the house slamming doors and such, then hightails it up to HOH to let them know as well. As we know, our favorite Shouting Chef has a flair for the dramatic. Janelle soon follows Joe up to HOH, where they share a giant "squeeee" with Boogie and Frank over the meltdown.
A storm’s a-brewin’ and those pork rinds? Yeah, they don’t stand a chance
Back down in the kitchen, Willie pauses between pork rind crunching to tell Britney he's just waiting for "them" to come downstairs so he can talk to them. A tired, defeated Britney eggs him on to just go on upstairs then if he wants to talk. Great idea sayeth Willie, and he hustles it on up the staircase, while taunting back at Britney "do you think I'm scared?" Britney, who is clearly over Willie, sighs to JoJo, "am I supposed to respond to that?"
The group inside the HOH room sees Willie out in the hallway headed their way, which sends Janelle scampering into the coaches suite (I'm not quite sure why?). Froot Loop busts into the room without knocking and informs them, in a fairly calm voice, that he knows he f'd up last week, but they shouldn't blame Shane and JoJo for his actions. Tough guy Joe doesn't miss a beat as he responds that "they chose to stay with you, brother." If I was in Willie's shoes, I just might have knocked Joe out right then and there. Willie ignores Joe and declares "my whole point is, I'm gonna get evicted this week, before I get out that door, just lettin' y'all know." Willie, hun, I believe the word you're looking for is "expelled."
Willie’s last moment in the HOH room. They should have let him sit in the bed to make his proclomation
As Willie heads downstairs Britney, in the kitchen with JoJo and Dan, tells him to just go lay down. Heh. JoJo pipes up and says if he keeps doing this, she can't associate wit' him anymore if he tries to pull an Evel Dick. I'm not quite sure why, I'd think this sort of drama would be right up her Jersey Shore alley. "Well I understand," says Willie. "I'm gonna get in a fight in this house and knock somebody out. That's what I'm gonna do." This cues Skippy to fire up the trivia screen and suddenly I have visions of the Chima meltdown in my head. Please oh please. Gawd I love this show. And it's only Day 14, folks! We've had more action in one week on the feeds than we had all of last season!
FOUR HOURS LATER Operation Willie Watch comes to an end and we're back. Our first shots are of Frank and Boogie in HOH, and they seem mad at Ian for some reason. Downstairs in Have Not Land, Brit, Shane, and JoJo are commiserating about how everyone hates them just because of Willie. Finally, confirmation that Willie has, indeed left the building. Let’s all pause for a moment of silence, shall we?
Hey we just met you
You're bats*** crazy
No stipend for you
So bye bye baby!
We soon learn that Willie has, indeed, left, and Shane and JoJo have been nominated. The contingency plan in case veto is used is to put Danielle up. JoJo cries about how unfair it is, and how everyone on Team Brit has to be America's Favorites because they're so much fun. (this makes me choke on my vanilla cow tale). I can't listen to the pity party anymore, but the only other option is Boogie and Frank up in HOH. Where's everybody else? Ugh.
Joe and Wil join Boogie and Frank and they all gleefully crow about what a giant stud Frank is for singlehandedly saving the world. Or for being responsible for knocking 3 players out of the game basically in 24 hours. I'm not quite sure that's how it went down, but whatevs, Boog. Next to join the blossoming HOH crew are Ian, Janelle, and Ashley. It seems that during all the post-Willie-expulsion scrambling, Frank and Boogie floated the idea to Ian of putting him up as a pawn. The idea was scrapped when they didn't have time to talk it through as a group. They all agree that if Shane wins POV, they'll put Danielle up and send her home over JoJo because JoJo isn't as likely to win challenges.
Brit is alone and feels like it’s her team fighting against the entire house. Somewhere, off in the bushes, Rachel has a laugh
Throughout the night the houseguests rehash what happened with Willie. We learn that:
- after Willie left the HOH room and the feeds went out, Dan headed upstairs to join Janelle and Boogie in the HOH room. Joe headed downstairs, and Frank got in the HOH shower.
- Willie chestbumped Joe, and they started screaming and yelling at each other. Janelle, Boogie, and Dan heard the yelling and went running downstairs
- Willie yelled asking why they were running downstairs, and threw pork rinds at Janelle and called her a b**** and/or a c***. Janelle yelled back "F you Willie, bye bye!" (The only thing that woulda made this better is if she has thrown a handful of Froot Loops back at him)
- Willie continued calling the houseguests names, and Willie went back to Joe in the bathroom and headbutted him. Ian was standing in the bathroom in a towel during this time because he had just gotten out of the shower.
- Production called for Willie to go to the Diary Room, and told Joe to stay in the bathroom and not follow him. As Willie headed towards the Diary Room, he taunted Joe, telling him to follow him.
- Executive Producer Allison Grodner later called the houseguests into the living room and told them that Willie was gone and the game would go on
- the Nomination Ceremony soon followed
- Ian saved one of the pork rinds that Willie threw at Janelle, he plans to sell it on ebay
Ian shows off his prize
Cheers go up all 'round as Big Brother surprises the houseguests with a pizza delivery, and even the have-nots are allowed to eat. They've also been told they'll have access to the backyard at some point tonight. A chorus of "thanks, Willie" goes up. Most of the houseguests down their pizza and escape the "family dinner table" pretty quickly. Shane and JoJo chase Frank up into the HOH room, where JoJo whines that the only people that came to hug her after the nomination ceremony were Ian, Dan, and Danielle. Boo freakin hoo. You suck, JoJo.
Frank mentions to Ian that maybe they should have made a deal with Danielle, Shane, and JoJo, and gone after some of Janelle's players this week. Umm, what? What is wrong with these people? None of their alliances last as long as the time between showers. For realz! "Ain't nobody playing for 6th place" says Ian. He's so gangsta, yo.
The rest of the night passes mainly with general chit chat. Unfortunately, talk in the kicks room with Janelle, Ashley, Danielle, Frank, and Wil veers into STD territory. We learn that Wil once had scabies, Ashley, Janelle and Danielle are hair-free, and Frank has a pretty healthy bush. This is way more information than I really wanted to know, so if I have to know it, then you do too. STD chat is followed up by Boogie and Britney upstairs trying to convince Ian it would be a good idea to lose his V card in the BB house, for one thing, it would pretty much guarantee him winning the fan favorite prize. Well, at least everyone is starting to wind down and enjoy themselves. Maybe there was crushed Xanax in the pizza.
Enzo? Enzo? Is that you?
The Diary Room cycles through all the houseguests for marathon sessions that are lasting 30-45 minutes each. They have to talk about the eviction aftermath, coaches competition, have-nots, the expulsion, and nominations. *whew* And if we thought Thursday's episode was jam packed, just wait until Sunday. Other small talk about the coaches competition tells it it involved running back and forth on some sort of small rail. A comedic moment was Boogie hollering at Ian, asking him to explain the physics of how he should work it. Hee. More theories of Dan throwing it. More talk about Willie. More whining from JoJo. Seems it's business as per usual again in the Big Brother house, although one by one they do seem to toddle off to bed significantly earlier than the norm. I don't blame them though, it's been quite a day. A couple of important tidbits of game talk -- Jenn drops the bomb to Danielle that she's been targeted as the likely replacement nominee if the POV is used. This sends Danielle into a stunned tailspin. Dan and Janelle kick around the possibility of the two of them aligning if they do indeed come in the game.
Our last awake hamster is Dan, who treats us to a monologue outside with thoughts ranging from his wife at home who is probably letting the dog get in the bed (he's not supposed to be there), to what he thinks about the game.
For the Dan fans, here's most of the transcript of his soliloquy:
Shane is probably gonna go unless he wins veto, in which case Danielle will go up and then there's a chance she gets ousted. You always have to play this game on the edge and gamble because that's how you win. Danielle is going to have to throw the veto competition if she plays.
Everyone's getting paranoid about the coaches coming in, I need to figure out how to dispel that rumor. I could say I don't want to come back, which would be a complete lie because I really do want to come back and make a run at this thing.
If that is the twist and I can last that long, we'll see some fireworks.
Goal #1 is to get Danielle through this week.
Gotta watch Britney, she's a wounded animal. Sometimes even the most docile animals are the most violent when they're wounded. Time to knock her out.
Best case scenario Shane goes this week, then JoJo, then Danielle wins HOH.
He wonders what's going on at home. Mentions of his book and his website. Tells the viewers to tweet his wife to tell her he loves her. Wonders if VPs have been picked for the presidential race. Turns to the cameras and asks what we might be wanting to know right now.
Ian's gaining a lot of favor with a lot of people for being a goofball. He could possibly get to the end with Ashley because neither of them are a threat to anyone in the house, including insects. But you almost can't waste an HOH on them.
Tomorrow will be a Memphis/Renegades dedication day with vintage clothing.
Ashley's a really kind person, he's nicknamed Shane "milk toast" then wonders if that's even a real thing.
Can I ever trust Mike Boogie? Nope! Would I try to ride to the end with Janelle? Yes, cause she's a beast in comps and extremely loyal.
Gonna get lambasted in the shows for the competitions but I don't care because I have thrown them all convincingly. I've gotta start playing that up more, get some mileage out of that.
Gets up and moves to hammock, says some of his best work has happened in here.
I may be a little older, a little slower, has a little less hair, but I still knows how to do one thing, just play this game. It's a lot harder playing this game when people know who you are, especially when they're afraid of you.
How do you make them not afraid? lose competitions, make it seem like you don't care about this game. But I do love this game.
Joe would be the first person to want me out of this game. I could work with Frank. Wil would want me out. Danielle would want to keep me. Ashley would be talking about bubbles and unicorns and rainbows and icy hot. Jenn would prob want to get rid of me cause she's a better player than people give her credit for. JoJo might want to work with me, Shane has no clue what's going on in the house, he's just here. Mike Boogie would want me out, Janelle hopefully would want to work with me. I might have to go after a few of her players.
(laughs) I can't believe I'm back here, what the h***. Same pool, same backyard, no friends. Looks familiar. Who can be my Memphis in this house? The other Renegade. The tough bleach blond veto powerhouse? or is it someone else? Don't know.
Likes the way the house is decorated this year. likes all the japanese stuff cause it's like karate kid (his fave movie). Epic.
Shouts out to his sister's website, says what his family is probably doing right now. Says his wife is probably in bed with their dog Frank, and he's not supposed to be in the bed. (heh)
That little rat, the second I leave he scurries up in the bed. If you're awake, tweet my wife and tell her Frank the dog shouldn't be in the bed, and that I love her. and I love him to. I'll personally thank whoever sends the message.
The random stuff. Last thing he did before walking in the house was watch the karate kid ending scene.
Starts giving personal shout outs. wonders how football season is going.
How do I make Danielle a stronger player right now? Not by winning the veto, she's gotta throw it.
My friends are probably going nuts cause I got my a** kicked by Janelle. Or so she thinks.
He played 71 days before, runs down the days from this year, wants to get to 100 days. Comes up with 86 days as his total so far.
Who can I trust? Mike Boogie is the person I talk to most in the house because oddly enough, we have the most in common even though he is one of the most diabolical players to play this game. I'm getting closer with Janelle, which my family would love because she's a good player. Danielle is an awesome player to coach because she listens and wants to get better and challenges me as a coach. Ian, I'm sure he's very well liked but he's getting very cocky in this house. Frank would have been epic if I could have drafted him, but Boogie's smart, very smart to have picked him up. Jenn's very shrewd, I like her, I like Ashley as a person but not as a player cause she's gonna coast until the end with Ian. Ian will lay on the sword for her all day long so that's dangerous to deal with.
Shane and JoJo should hopefully be on their way out. Wil, don't know about Wil. Joe is the organizer. Eagle eyed Joe. Gotta watch him. May not win much, but can rally the troops. His mouth needs to get him in trouble though, need to catch him in something. Britney's on the ropes, time to knock her out.
Time for me to go to bed. If you stayed up this late, thanks for watching.
And he gets up and heads into the house.
Boogie, then Frank, then Britney are rooted out of bed between 6 and 7 am for quickie Diary Room sessions. The rest of the house gets their wakeup call at 8:30 am in order to start picking players for the veto. In addition to Frank, Shane, and JoJo, the other players selected are Danielle, Wil, and Ashley.
Brit wants to know if she can pick up Ted from free agency
For the next little bit, we have bathroom fun hour. JoJo is secluded in the arcade room reading the bible, but Britney, Shane, Ian, and Wil are telling funny stories in the bathroom as others come in and out. Talk ranges from their favorite clothing stores to rehashes of the Willie explosion. Britney's in a good mood this morning and holds court in the bathroom, telling funny stories and answering questions about her season.
Danielle joins Shane and Brit in the bathroom and grouses about the way JoJo has been throwing her under the bus, and how she feels so alone without Kara (She's referring to yesterday when JoJo and Shane were pleading their case to Frank, and JoJo pointed out that Danielle had also voted against Frank so she should be nominated too). Britney sympathizes, and says that she already instructed JoJo this morning to calm down and not be like Willie. She counsels Danielle about how her best friend (Monet) went home week 2, but then Lane became her absolute best friend later on.
JoJo shows us why she thinks she’d be America’s Favorite
Right as my shift comes to an end, Dan heads up to HOH to tell Frank and Ian about a bizarre dream he just had, and then states that he realizes Danielle will likely be the replacement nominee if the POV is used, but wonders if she would still be safe. Frank feels that she would be safe against Shane, but if it was JoJo, he's just not sure because there's no way to know how the votes might go. Dan pushes a little more, asking what Frank would want, because he thinks the house might follow his lead. Frank seems to indicate that Danielle would still be safe (contrary to what he's been telling the others). As of right now, it's not looking too great for Team Dan.
And with that, my crazy 24 hours glued to the feeds comes to an end.
It was an honor serving you during this time of great turmoil. And I would just like to say that this recap was brought to you by mini vanilla cow tales, diet cherry pepsi, lots of insulin, the movie “Fight Club” and the classic oldies song “Little Willy” by Sweet.
Little Willie, Willie won't go home
But you can't push Willie 'round
Willie won't go, try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willie, Willie won't go home
Look it up on iTunes, folks!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend, FORTers!
Thanks to JustJuls for the cap of Willie’s grayed out photo
Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.