Welcome back everyone, itís finally competition night, the night we all look forward to. Right? Right? Cricket chirps Well maybe not but we are only a couple of weeks in and I need to build some excitement for the night. Right? Cricket chirps Last week, Mike was voted out and most of us are still scratching our heads saying, Who? The talk of the house has been who voted to keep Mike. They know that Zach was one vote but who could the other one have come from? Eric so far has done a good job diverting attention away from himself and making others think it was Jen, Dick, etc. Letís get ready to find out if the nominations will hold this week or if the wrath of god will strike us down for making fun of the excessive use of his name in a recap. (OK, that might only apply to me) So, gather your best rosary, douse yourself in holy water, and letís all say a short prayer that the lord will guide us through this show tonight and allow us to not bang our heads against a wall too hardly because these hamsters are stupidÖand boringÖand a little self-righteous.
Deadly Sin #1: Envy
The nominations have just been handed out and Kail and Jen are on the block. Dick is thrilled with the noms, Kail thinks she was put up as a pawn, and Jen is in the bathroom crying. She was surprised by the nominations and canít believe she is up again. I almost feel sorry for her but I am an emotionless robot and that does not allow me to have those kinds of feelings. I instead will make fun of her because she is crying right into the mirror so she can look at herself.
Kail pulls Dustin up to the HOH room just to confirm with him that she is on the block as a pawn. He gives her lip service and tells her that Zach is the target, not her. He also tells her if none of them win POV then Jen will be going home this week. In a naive way she believes him and walks out feeling good about herself. Dustin then tells the camera that he doesnít care who goes home this week, as long as it is Jen, Zach, or Kail. I donít care either and give a short shout out to the lord asking that he smote down about 3 of them to speed this show up.
Meanwhile, Jen is crying and Nick and Kail come and try to talk with her. Kail tells her she is shocked by the noms and Jen tells her she is hurt by them.
Uncle CreepyZach joins the group and gives Jen a tender embrace. She shrugs it off and the rest of us breathe a sigh of relief that his creepy hands were no where near our bodies. The lord deserves a shout out for that one, ďthank you, almighty!Ē
During all this hugging and crying, Amber is a little jealous that she is not getting attention from crying and finds Dustin to tell him that Nick was comforting Jen. They both call Nick an ass and think he is in a secret alliance with Jen and that he should be backdoored this week. Raise your hand if you are immature and chuckle whenever the term backdoor is used. Shame on you all with your hands in the air, the lord will not think positively of you now.
Deadly Sin #2: Pride
Itís time to pick the players for POV. Dustin selects Daniele, Jen gets Jameka, and Kail has Jessica. Dustin picks Eric as the host and everyone is excited until they are informed the competition will start in 17 hours. Now, I donít watch the live feeds so I donít know if Dustin is pulling my leg or they really have to wait 17 hours. If someone could clear this up for me I will send a positive reference to the man upstairs for you.
After the selection is over, this is where it gets good because players get roughed up and someone (Amber) ends up in tears. Jameka feels that since she was selected, it was godís will telling her to win and take Jen off the block. Personally, I think she is reading a little too much into this. She is so happy with her discovery that she pulls Jen aside and tells her that she is so wonderful, the lord has selected her and it is her will to remove Jen from the block. Jen is ecstatic and canít believe she is so lucky to pull the house psycho as her partner.
After Jamekaís little talk with Jen she wants to spread the word of how wonderful she is and finds Dick and Dustin in the kitchen and tells them her plan. Dick thinks she is nuts and starts to challenge her beliefs. She tells him the game is already predetermined by the lord and they should all just stop playing. She then trashes Dick because he is atheist and has the term ďevilĒ in his name. I always though Christians were supposed to love everyone and not judge others. I guess when you are so perfect you are exempt from those rules.
Deadly Sin #3: Avarice (Greed)
Eric appears in the backyard wearing black pants and a top with a beret and that can only mean one thing, they will be dancing with Deter and his monkeyÖor having the POV competition. All the contestants are instructed to put on matching outfits and to come into the house. The inside is set up like an art gallery and there is wine and cheese for everyone. The game is all about knowing Big Brother terms and slogans. Each competitor will be given 1000 BB bucks, and one will be under the watchful eye of the lord. At the end of the competition, whoever has the most BB bucks wins. Each round, they will be shown a mindbender puzzle (like a cat on train tracks for cataract (not a good example but you know what I mean)). If they answer right, they get some BB bucks, if they are wrong, they are out.
The first picture is shown and Daniele gets it right and receives some BB bucks. The 2nd one is shown and Daniele also gets that one right and takes the early lead in the game. I am slow and have yet to get one. The third picture is flashed and Kail gets this one right. The 4th picture is up and Daniele answers but is wrong and takes her seat on the sidelines. After the 4th round, Eric informs the competitors that they can use their money to bid on prizes that are offered. The first item offered is a trip for 2 to Barbados for $750 BB bucks. Dusting rings in to purchase and everyone is pissed. I donít understand why they are angry; this is godís will after all.
Round five begins and Kail answers wrong and is eliminated from the competition. The 6th picture is shown and Jameka gets this one right and takes the lead. I still have yet to figure one out. The 7th picture is shown and Dustin gets this one right and then the 8th one right as well. He now has a nice lead over Jameka. Before the final round happens, another prize is offered and for a measly $1500 in BB bucks, one contestant could be $5000 richer. They all think about it and at the last minute, Dustin rings in. Amber starts to cry over his greediness in this game. I cry over the scary faces she makes when she cries. The last picture is shown and Jen rings in and makes a silly guess and is out of the competition leaving Jameka as the winner.
Jameka knows that Jen threw the competition so that she would win and take Jen off the block later. Jameka is disgusted at how much Jen only thinks about herself. If this is news to Jameka, she is straight up stupid.
Deadly Sin #4: Wrath
After the POV competition is over, Dick confronts Dustin about his greed for the prizes. Dustin feels bad about what he did and thinks that everyone hates him now. They should hate him because he is $5000 richer and gets a phat trip to Barbados. Thatís right, I just used phat with a ph.
Jameka and Amber are hanging out in the yard and need to make themselves feel better so they talk about how great they are and how awful everyone else is. Amber is just shocked at how selfish that Dustin is. This coming from the woman who loves her dog and child equally. Jameka tells Amber she knows that god didnít want her to have money and that he loves her. Personally, I think god is laughing really hard at her for basically handing her that money and her being stupid and not taking it. I think god wanted her to take it and is now going to strike her down with a bolt of lighting. I hope she doesnít stay out in the yard too long.
Over in the lounger area of the backyard, Dick starts yelling at Jen about throwing the competition. Jen tries to deny it and they end up in a fight, although, Jen keeps her cool and Dick looks like a fool. The lord wanted me to use that cheesy rhyme right now, he laid it out for me and I took advantage of it. Jen is basically sad that Jameka lost out on the $5000 for herself. Dick starts yelling more and everyone tells him to calm down. He tells them he is the only one brave enough to say what they are all thinking. Everyone gets uncomfortable and starts to look every which way and deny what he just said. LIARS!
Deadly Sin # 5: Gluttony
This one may be stretching it but throw me a bone, this has been a hard theme to follow. Eric is called to the diary room and told America has voted and he needs to start using the catchphrase ďI would do that for a $1.Ē Over the next five days he needs to get 3 different people to say it.
Later, Eric, Jessica and Dick are hanging out and I am lead to believe that alcohol was flowing freely because Jessica is wearing the ever stylish unitard and Eric is wrapped in a comforter being dragged outside yelling ďI would do that for a dollar.Ē Hopefully Eric and Jessica have learned a lesson on what too much alcohol will do to you.
Eric finally ends up in the backyard with Dick and he tells Dick that he is sick and tired of hearing all the other lame expressions everyone keeps using around the house so he is going to start saying, ďI would do that for a dollar.Ē His plan is to get everyone else to join in. Dick thinks itís a good idea and he is going to start using it as well. We never hear the phrase again.
Deadly Sin #6: Lust
We are finally rounding the corner and the show is coming to an end. It has been such a boring episode that I kind of just want to end the recap here but I will continue on. I first need to say a little prayer to god to keep me strong, my fingers fast, and my brain active so I can end this thing on a good note. Unfortunately, I donít think the lord is listening because my hands are tired, my head is empty, and Iím beginning to think Jen is smart. ďPlease god, have mercy on my soul, the end must be near!Ē
Up in the HOH room, Daniele, Dustin, Amber, Dick, Eric, and Jessica are all discussing who should be put on the block once Jen gets taken down. They all think it should be between Nick and Zach and most of them think Nick. Daniele wants Jen to be out but most people ignore her. She leaves the room crying because her bedmate will probably be hitting the road and her only option will be Zach. She also starts crying because she thinks Amber hates her. At this point, I canít tell if those are tears of joy or sorrow.
Everyone else thinks Nick needs to leave and that Daniele needs to deal with her issues on her own and not make them everyone elseís. They all agree on Nick except for Jameka who wants Zach out because he is creepy. You canít fault that reasoning but no one is on board.
Itís finally the POV ceremony and Jameka removes Jen from the block. Dustin nominates Nick and he seems truly shocked by what has just happened. Daniele starts to cry and Kail finally catches on that she may not be a pawn after all. She is one clueless broad. I canít believe I used that term, being female and all, it just seems like the right way to describe her.
Deadly Sin #7: Sloth
This last deadly sin I am sure is committed by the houseguests but I also fall victim to it on Thursday nights. Make sure to tune in and watch the show or do like me and DVR, then watch the whole thing in about 5 minutes, or better yet, just read MsFroggyís recap and save yourself a lot of time. This is time that could be used lounging around on the couch doing nothing, clear head, not a care in the world.
A mnemonic device helped me to remember the 7 Deadly Sins from way back in the 11th grade. Please PM me your favorite mnemonic device. Long live RoyGBiv!