Wednesdays are pretty quiet in the Big Brother house. The houseguests cast their eviction votes, and although they are instructed not to talk about it, they all know by this point who is voting for whom. With all the decisions made for the week, the houseguests struggled to amuse themselves. One set took to dismantling a lamp in search of treasure, while others were content to gab for hours at a time. One hamster took a stick and poked around in the beehive, making all the little bees fly around in a tizzy. Metaphorically, that is. You can put away your epinephrine pens now.
What Happened Today?
- The votes were cast in the Diary Room; Michael will be departing tomorrow on the live show.
- The house got some new residents in ichthyian form - some clownfish, angelfish, and zebrafish. I assume that’s what you call black and white striped fish, I don’t really know. Ivette named two of them “Ellen” and “Portia.” No one took the hint.
- Eric got the use of a digital camera for an hour. He used it to take a group shot without Michael and Janelle.
- Fracturing of the core group is already beginning. People are already thinking past the next HOH and deciding who to cut, as if they are all going to be in power.
- Eric and Maggie know all the pairs; Kaysar and Janelle probably know. No one is admitting everything they know yet.
- April kept Ivette’s secret (that she’s a lesbian) all day. She must have been dying!
Gold Room Gymnastics
With no campaigning left to do - or was there? I’ll just leave that bit o’ foreshadowing for now - Michael and Janelle turned to physical comfort. Yes, there was snogging, and it wasn’t my cup of tea. I’m just reporting it.
April and Ivette figured it was all for show; that two people that shallow and incomprehensible (to them) couldn’t possibly care for each other. It is a little strange that Ivette and April both have significant others outside of the house, while Janelle and Michael are single. Well, Janelle did have a boyfriend but she told the other girls in the house that she broke up with him in the Diary Room. It took her four tries before she got the breakup notice just how she wanted it. Sorry, dude.
They had to come up for air occasionally, so the rest of their friends in the house - Kaysar and Howie - joined them in the gold room to hunt treasure. Kaysar had spent the wee hours of Wednesday morning counting objects in the house and calculating coordinates on his compass. Somehow, the numbers 317 lead him to exactly the entrance to the gold room, and furthermore, to a certain corner where a lamp stands. The group took a closer look at the lamp - a tall, torch-style floor lamp that looks vaguely Egyptian - and discovered that not only was it not plugged in, it didn’t have a light bulb. Michael and Kaysar went so far as to dismantle the lamp by unscrewing the finials, but found nothing.
A lot can happen in one day. Kaysar asked Janelle if she thought Ashlea had a partner in the house, and she played innocent. Later, Janelle flat-out told Michael that Ashlea had been her partner, and that she knew there were other pairs in the house. Michael didn’t miss a beat, wondering who Kaysar’s partner could be.
A little later, Janelle told Kaysar about Ashlea, and that she had told only Michael and Kaysar about their partnership. Kaysar asked pointedly what Michael’s reaction to the news had been, but eventually broke down and admitted they were a pair, too. Janelle did not seem upset that the two men had kept it to themselves, and later Michael got Janelle alone and apologized for lying to her. He told her that he felt he owed it to Kaysar, since Michael was the one who had campaigned to be in the game and he had talked Kaysar into it. Janelle said she had never asked Michael if he had a partner, and wasn’t offended by the lie. See? All the revelations and admissions without the messy emotional display. It can be done.
In stark contrast, Ivette and Kaysar had a long conversation Tuesday night that was supposed to clear the air. We all know there was as big a chance of that happening as there is of curing Howie of flatulence. Ivette recounted her version of the conversation to Eric over breakfast, anxious to prove that her opinion that Kaysar doesn’t belong in the house is based on some sort of logic that isn’t anti-Muslim. Naturally, Eric reinforced her feelings that she was in the right, and that it was wrong of Kaysar to be a Big Brother contestant. There, there.
What happened was this: Kaysar tried to clear the air from their tense moments after the fight last week, and Ivette ducked his questions and lectured him on being a hypocrite. She told him if he were as religious as he claims, he wouldn’t have entered the Big Brother house to be surrounded by temptation. Oh Ivette, don’t flatter yourself. I have a feeling Kaysar could keep all kinds of vows even if he were forced to be in your exclusive company for a year. She made sweeping generalizations about Muslims, like that “they” have no respect for women, then told Kaysar it wasn’t his fault he disrespected her because that was his culture. The entire conversation only reinforced how focused and rational Kaysar can be in the face of Ivette’s confrontational, screechy style.
Just when you thought the game playing was done for the week, confusion arrived. Janelle approached Maggie and told her that it hurt her feelings when she implied Janelle had collagen implants; Janelle asked her to say who had said her lips weren’t real. Maggie tried to cover, but it was obvious there had been some gossip and Maggie looked overly secretive when she said she couldn’t say who had told her. It was a little awkward, but caused a lot of consternation in the “core” alliance of Eric, Ivette and Maggie because of course, Ivette had been the one to speculate whether Janelle had been under the knife. Recounting it later, Ivette was worried Maggie had named her, while Maggie was working hard not to look like she had let something leak to Janelle. Eric smoothed it over, saying Janelle hadn’t been upset so there was no need to worry about it. Ivette continued to look uneasy, though.
After dinner, April and Michael were enjoying a cigarette in the back yard when he brought up an unusual topic: that he knows of something “unscrupulous” that “someone” in the house has done. This certain someone may have had a game reason to exaggerate an event to cover for, say, someone close to them. April looked dumbstruck or just plain dumb at Michael’s roundabout conversation, then asked if Michael was talking about Cappy? Not necessarily, was the reply. He explained that he had worked hard to find proof, and that by asking careful questions of the two someones at various times, he had found distinct similarities in their background.
Then he got to the point: if these two someones (now April was really looking nervous) were willing to come with him to the DR and apologize for the unscrupulous action, he would keep from making any sort of statement that the someones would regret during the live show. April was visibly shaking by this point, and she must have been realizing Michael was talking about her - and her partner. Before she could discuss it further, Janelle came out and joined them at the table. After a few minutes of awkward small talk, April excused herself, practically running inside.
About the same time April was learning to fear Michael, Ivette was becoming convinced that something wasn’t right with Maggie, and she vowed not to tell her anything. James was telling Beau in the weight room that Eric and Rachel had extracted too many promises, and that nominations were going to get difficult soon. Eric was called into the Diary Room, and came out with beer and wine. A return to booze for the house! Eric was thrilled, and told Howie and Rachel that he was going to hoard the alcohol and not tell everyone the good news. *buzzer* Wrong! Big Brother called him right back into the DR, and he emerged sheepishly with a new attitude. Everyone was allowed to share the booze, but Eric vowed to make sure he got enough to get sloshed.
As the alcohol spread, some hamsters got giggly and silly. Others got panicked and yappy. Darling little Sarah was a happy drunk, but the core group of Eric, Maggie, Ivette, and April ended up in the HOH room, sharing their fears. What resulted was one of the most deeply layered - yet ridiculous - conversations I’ve witnessed in Big Brother. April tried to relate what Michael had told her without revealing that he was threatening to expose her secret partner; her descriptions of what he said became even more vague and mysterious in the translation. Eric caught on to what Michael had been getting at, but had to play dumb enough to convince April he didn’t know she had a secret, much less a secret partner. Ivette wanted to know if Michael had meant her (of course - it’s always about Ivette to Ivette), and Maggie was working hard to look incredulous at Michael knowing a secret. April, satisfied that her cohorts were properly upset at Michael’s gumption and didn’t seem to suspect April had a secret, put out what was really worrying her: obviously the guy was a psycho, so no one would believe anything he said during the live show, would they?
Of course not, everyone assured her, when they must have been thinking “Michael’s really got her!” April felt empowered to take it a little further, saying Michael had found similarities between folks that meant nothing - why, he had even found out that she and Jennifer were part of the same sorority, had even graduated the same year! Eric helpfully chimed in that Big Brother had purposely picked people with these sorts of similar backgrounds to put doubt in their minds. Why, Maggie had attended Boston College while he had already been transferred to Las Vegas! *snicker* Of course Big Brother was trying to confuse them. Everyone agreed that had to be it, while sneaking glances at each other from the side of their eyes. Oh, the lies upon lies in that room tonight.
Just when the equilibrium had been re-established, Jennifer popped in to recount a frightening encounter: Michael saw her in the bathroom, and made vaguely threatening statements like “I know about you.” Jennifer swore she was too scared to walk to the subway room by herself. I don’t know why she was worried. I’m pretty sure Michael can’t pull out his patented Stink Eye O’Death after lights out.
At Jenny’s bit of hyperbole, the group broke up. Someone had to walk Jennifer to bed, right? Ironically, Michael was already in bed with Janelle, where I’m sure Jennifer was the last thing on his mind. He didn’t even suspect how thoroughly he had stirred up the hamsters that evening.
Maggie lingered to talk to Eric for a mutual status report. Maggie wondered if she had handled the situation with Janelle’s lips well, and Eric approved. He said that he had been hearing complaints that she is hanging out too much with Kaysar, and she said in a frustrated voice that he follows her around. Eric fumed a little about Michael’s request that April and Jennifer apologize in the DR, saying Michael’s the only one in the house that called himself a sexual predator. Don’t worry if you missed it - I’m sure it won’t be the last time Eric fumes about Michael.
Maggie wondered if it was time for them to approach another couple for a foursome. They agreed that April is way too talkative, and eventually concluded that they don’t want a foursome yet. Eric talked about using the trump card of James’s aberrant vote the first week if James won HOH and made a move in their direction. Maggie has noticed that Ivette adores James, but Eric said that would end when he revealed James had approached Kaysar. They made up a cover story for Maggie taking a few minutes alone together, and Eric repeated their mantra: lie, lie, lie, deny, deny, deny.
In the backyard, was another power couple forming? Kaysar and Howie paced in the backyard, discussing strategy. They found they had more ideas in common than they thought; for example, both agreed that if they won HOH they wouldn’t put up Ivette because as Kaysar put it, she confused the house so well. Howie mentioned that people got quiet when he approached these days, and sputtered, “As if I cared what you had to say about me.” Kaysar laughed and agreed. He pointed out that the three of them - Howie, Kaysar and Janelle - were the only ones in the house who could do something by themselves without having to cling to another person. They both agreed that Janelle is a fierce competitor - smart, focused, and tough. Howie sounded worlds away from his House persona of the amiable pervert; so much so that Kaysar asked if that was part of his front. “Oh no, I’m a pervert,” replied Howie, without missing a beat. “I like panties. You’ve got your doctors, your lawyers, and then there’s your perverts.”
I wish Hermione were here to perform a SpelChekius. email@example.com