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Thread: Big Brother Recap 3/4 - Between A Josh And A Hard Place

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    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Big Brother Recap 3/4 - Between A Josh And A Hard Place

    Ok, as we know, Josh is short-tempered and drunk with HOH power. After winning HOH, he unleashed his anger on Allison reducing her to tears. In an attempt to pull Matt and Natalie to her side, she reminds them that they’re only in the house because of her. She even makes one last ditch effort to win over Josh but he’s unmoved and nominates Allison/Ryan and Matt/Natalie for eviction. With the POV up for grabs, everything could soon change. So, grab your Extra-Strength Tylenol and a bottle of wine and let’s suffer through another hour of these moronic hamsters. Hey, that's what works for me!

    Big Baller, Shot Caller

    Matt isn’t happy about being on the block two weeks in a row. He feels it’s time to step up his game and show people that he’s not one to be messed with. Whatever. Oh wait, I mean…whatevah. Matt should have nothing to worry about, however. Josh’s target is Allsion. To him, she’s ugly inside and out and needs to leave the house in order to preserve everyone’s sanity. I’d argue it’s a little late for that. The entire house wants Allison gone but Chelsia is more determined to get rid of Matt and Natalie since her plan to do so last week was foiled. Adam is amazed that he and Sheila have somehow avoided going up on the block again. He thinks he’s a “big baller” and has game. He doesn’t realize he’s so disliked that everyone wants to be sitting next to him in the end for a reason that has nothing to do with his game play. Adam’s partner, Sheila, recognizes that they’ve survived three nomination ceremonies because Allison has put a target on her back by overplaying the game.

    Matt can’t understand why Natalie is chasing him around like a lovesick puppy. She’s constantly asking him for massages, hugs, kisses, and cuddling. And Matt? He’s so incredibly rude to her that I don’t know why she’d want to hug and kiss him. Seriously, the guy is an ass and she’s so clueless, she doesn’t get the messages he’s sending her loud and clear. I’m thinking the little bit of brains she has is used for more important things like matching her thongs to her knee socks. Allison corners Natalie in the sauna with a plan to get under Josh and Sharon’s skin by hanging out together and having a ball. She reminds Natalie that they were saved by her and Ryan and therefore owe them. She proposes they each play hard for the veto and if one of them wins and uses it, Adam and Sheila will go up by default. Then they vote them out. Easy peasy.

    TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

    Josh and Sharon gather everyone to pick players for the veto competition and announce that only eight people will participate, the HOH couple, nominated couples, and couple selected by random draw. Sheila and Adam’s chip is drawn from the bag and Josh chooses James to host. Big Brother will let them know when it’s time to play. Up in HOH, Josh implores Matt to win. Matt just hopes it’s something he’s good at. In the event of a fluke where Allison and Ryan win, Josh ensures Matt the votes to stay. They all vow to pull it out and Matt tells them they damn well better.

    James soon calls everyone to the living room to begin the competition. He’s dressed in a toga and looks way too comfortable in it. Something tells me James has “toga”ed once or twice. He throws out bandanas for the HGs to choose team colors and there’s a brief scramble. That out of the way, he instructs them to grab their gear because “Cupid is as cupid does.” In the backyard, they find clouds and hearts and wings strapped to a harness. One person will be hoisted into the air in the harnesses as their partners run for puzzle pieces. They will then need to solve the puzzle high above them. However, there are more pieces than are necessary and a wrong choice will force their partner to run back for another. The first team to correctly solve the puzzle and pierce their foamy little red heart with an arrow will win the POV.



    Allison is confident as they get underway because puzzles are her specialty. Sheila insists that Adam go up because she is afraid of heights. Adam thinks she’s crazy to believe she can hoist his fat ass up into the air so she has no choice but to fly high. They’re all off to a quick start. As the guys run across the yard for puzzle pieces, the girls are lifted up. The girls come back down as the pieces are handed off but were immediately jerked back up as the guys ran again. Matt felt he was the most athletic of all the guys and had no trouble running with Natalie’s weight attached. Josh, however, was struggling. Looks like his doughy mid-section is getting a workout lifting Sharon. He’s also running back too quickly, before Sharon has a chance to work on the puzzle. Sheila yells at Adam because he’s running away and hoisting her up before she has a chance to grab the pieces. Adam argues that Sheila’s puzzle looks like a Picasso and he should have put it together himself and just handed it to her. I think these two might be secretly married outside the house. They sure act like it.

    Allison comes very close to solving the puzzle but Ryan can’t get the right piece to her. Surprisingly, Natalie figures it out and gets her arrow into the heart first. She and Matt celebrate wildly and he finally hugs her. And then he tackles her and hugs her some more. She'll definitely be in love now. Pathetically, Natalie is more thrilled that she pleased her partner than she seems to be about winning the POV. Sheila is afraid because it’s a given that she and Adam will be going up on the block. Chelsia is pissed because she really wanted to see Matt and Natalie leave the house. She was hoping Ryan and Allison would win the veto.



    Jameka's God Still Moves

    Allison can’t understand why Josh hates her so much. She declares that he just wants to hate somebody so he’s being mean to her. She apologizes to Ryan since he’s stuck with her and will be evicted right alongside her. Matt knows that everyone in the house has a different personality. He’s a sharp one, this guy. He decides to appeal to each person’s unique personality. Since Josh is gay, he’ll appeal to his “gay side.” He goes into HOH and dances around in celebration. Then he kisses Josh. Natalie joins the celebration and they dance some more. Matt tells her he was impressed with her and he’ll even give her a massage now. Just not right now. She says it was the power of God. Never fails. Every season there is someone who is convinced God cares about this game. With Ryan, Matt’s approach is to treat him as a friend. He asks him who he’d rather be on the block with because he knows how to work people and can try to convince Josh to do it his way. He realizes he owes Ryan for saving him last week and assures him that there’s still a chance he could stay. To Allison, Matt is a shoulder to cry on. He finds her bawling in the bathroom supposedly because she feels bad for Ryan. Truth is, she’s worried about her own ass because Josh hates her “for no reason.” Matt tells her she’s a smart girl and a good manipulator and suggests she go make up with Josh. He then utters possibly one of the most ignorant things I’ve heard on this show. “Gay guys are like women.” He tells her to go get on Josh’s gay side. Wonder how someone would appeal to Matt. Perhaps to his chauvinist pig side?

    Once again, Sheila is bitching about Adam. She says that he always argues with her in the competitions. He does but to his credit, I don’t think he meant anything this time. She’s just so uptight, he can’t say anything to please her. She even says she’d get a better conversation by talking to the wall. Ironic, since she’s the exact same way. Hell, at least the wall wouldn’t be gabbing 24/7 the way Sheila does. On the other side of the wall, James answers her(as the wall) and tells her that Adam is a nice guy and she should just give him a chance. Sheila admits that sometimes she adores Adam and other times, she can’t stomach him. She even confesses that makes them sound like an old married couple.



    According to Matt, he needs to appeal to Sharon with his charm. Is that what he calls it? He plans to try and play her so she’ll be in his pocket. He joins her in the HOH room and lies down beside her where he proceeds to go on about how he’s not attracted to Natalie. He likes a more conservative girl who doesn’t show her thong all the time. As they speak, Natalie rings the doorbell so Sharon has Matt hide in the bathroom. She answers the door, tells Nat that she’s sick and doesn’t know where everyone is at the moment, and sends her on her way. Back on the bed, Matt makes his move and they suck face for a while. He thinks she’s playing right into his hands when in fact, she’s on to his game. The playah is getting played. Josh breaks up their game of kissy face and informs Matt that Natalie is on the prowl for him. She’s searching the house and determined to hunt him down...so determined that she shows up at the HOH door again. Matt goes into the bathroom to hide and Josh lets her in. She tells them she can’t find her partner and Josh lets her know that he’s in the bathroom. He comes out, rudely asks her what she wants, and says he’s going downstairs. She begs him for a massage and he says maybe tomorrow. When he leaves, she tells Josh and Sharon that Matt’s avoiding her because he gets totally turned on by her. This girl needs to get a clue! She leaves and Sharon tells Josh how Matt was kissing on her and brags about how she’s playing him. Josh tells her to whore herself out if she has to do it to get them to the end. Big Brother at it's finest!



    He's Just Not That Into You

    Matt pulls Natalie aside to set the record straight regarding his feelings for her. She calls him out about how mean he always is to her. In one breath, he tells her he isn’t mean to her. In the next, he rudely asks, “Are you delusional?” She points out what a mean comment that was. He promises to be nice to her and agrees to be her friend. He stresses the word “friend” and even makes her pinky swear for the camera that they are just friends. He’s just as delusional as her if he thinks she’s accepting it. She thinks he could still be her soul mate. Allison tries to talk to Josh about why he hates her so much. He tells her she’s stirred up trouble since the beginning and he doesn’t want her kind in the house. He calls her a liar and a manipulator and walks away. I think this was where she was supposed to appeal to his gay side.

    Houseguests enter the house to find a card asking them to all convene in the living room. Sharon reads the card aloud, “Houseguests, sometime in the coming weeks, you will hear a distinct sound. When you hear this sound(an siren rings through the house as a sample), you will to gather immediately here in the living room and wait for an important announcement. Be prepared. This sound could happen at any moment. Expect the unexpected! Big Brother.” Hamsters cheer and speculate what it could mean. Allison just hopes it’s something that will help her stay in the house. Matt realizes it’s something that could shake up the game and will be pissed if it happens before the veto meeting when he plans to remove himself from the block. And Josh is worried that the siren will blow everything he has planned right out of the water. He’s jonesing something awful to get rid of Allison. He and Sharon of the annoying voice freak out that their plan will be ruined by the mystery siren.

    They do get their veto meeting before the siren can go off. Matt and Natalie remove themselves, of course. As expected, Adam and Sheila are their replacements. Who will be evicted? Will the mystery siren change everything? MsFroggy will let you know after the live show!

    Toga, anyone? PM me.
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  2. #2
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Recap 3/4 - Between A Josh And A Hard Place

    I’m thinking the little bit of brains she has is used for more important things like matching her thongs to her knee socks.

    Jameka's God Still Moves
    Super recap, lil!

    But that picture of Adam...ugh.
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

  3. #3
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Recap 3/4 - Between A Josh And A Hard Place

    Matt pulls Natalie aside to set the record straight regarding his feelings for her. She calls him out about how mean he always is to her. In one breath, he tells her he isn’t mean to her. In the next, he rudely asks, “Are you delusional?” She points out what a mean comment that was. He promises to be nice to her and agrees to be her friend. He stresses the word “friend” and even makes her pinky swear for the camera that they are just friends.
    The pinky swear!! Are these people in second grade?

    I swear I loved your recap!
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Recap 3/4 - Between A Josh And A Hard Place

    Hilarious recap Lil. Thanks for the laughs.

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