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Thread: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

  1. #1
    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
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    Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Welcome back, greetings and salutations to everyone here
    It’s been a long season but tonight I will shed no tear
    80 odd days ago, 14 hamsters moved into a house
    It trapped them in like a caged mouse
    Some were enemies, some were related
    One had gonorrhea, let’s all hope is now belated
    All in all it started out as lots of fun
    As the season wore on I needed a gun
    Sit back and relax the end has finally arrived
    Julie is here with her mass hair beehive

    The Predictions Did Not Stick
    The jury sits and waits, who will be the last to arrive
    Dick or Daniele means Zach has another day to survive
    Zach walks in amidst a wave of great despair
    It looks as if god has once again ignored their prayer
    They talk and gab about days gone by
    I hate these people, my oh my

    Eric is summoned to the Jury House Diary Room
    One last task for America’s buffoon
    Who should he try to help secure a win
    Dick is the answer; I need a quart of gin
    He goes into his used car salesman mode
    Anyone justifying Dick makes me want to explode

    Daniele and Dick, Dick and Daniele, who will it be
    55 more minutes before we will ever get to see
    Jen hates Dick and rightfully so
    A lot of hatred is spewed from this ho
    Amber gets mad and yells at dear Jen
    I go to my happy place of times way back when
    Amber is an idiot, freak and pond scum
    Everything she says makes me wonder if someone be this dumb

    Eric’s persuasion is starting to work
    Dustin and Amber are on board for this jerk
    Back and forth, round and round
    This whole discussion is very profound
    How much more of this must I take
    I wish I would get bit by a venomous snake

    Questions That Made the Final Two Sick
    Its question time and everyone is ready
    Dustin is up first, slow and steady.
    His question is for Dick, about a comment from his dear child
    She wanted her dad in final two because he has been so riled
    He does not care and is happy how it turned out
    Too bad his daughter is such a little pout
    Next is Amber, the stupidest human to ever occur
    Daniele is asked why Amber should respect her.
    Her private life is none of Amber’s concern
    If she feels it is, she wants no vote in return

    Up next is our good friend Jess
    Dick is who she will address
    If anyone else could be next to you, who?
    “No one and I never lied to you.”
    She calls him on his lie and he looks kind of sad
    Eric is next, he seems a little mad.
    Dick has slandered and offended everyone there
    He needs to explain why everyone else should be in the final pair
    Dustin shouldn’t, Jen doesn’t deserve it
    Amber made no moves, Jess couldn’t commit
    Jameka stayed because of us and Eric was the best player
    Zach made it far and came close to being a Donato slayer.

    The questions continue, the night is half done
    This finale is lacking any fun.
    Zach wants to know what they learned from the houseguests
    Daniele learned happiness from little ole Jess.
    Eric taught him about a sense of humor
    And that Amber was a speed consumer
    Dick learned about overconfidence from Dustin
    I’m grasping here, anyone named Justin?
    Some people are not what they seem was the lesson from Jen
    Jameka acted like the mother hen.
    Underestimating someone like Zach
    Can turn around and almost bite you back.

    Its Jameka’s turn and I wonder if she asked god ahead of time
    If her question to Daniele about her big move was prime
    Daniele tells her it’s been really fruuuustrating and tough
    The Eric thing and backdooring Jenn among other stuff.
    Jen is last and I hope this is coming to an end
    She wants to know if their relationship is on the mend.
    Dick thinks it is and appreciates it more than being in the final two
    When is this over? I can’t wait to bid them all adieu.

    Time for the final speeches of the night
    The anticipation is filling me with delight
    Daniele wants the jury to vote with their heart
    Dick tells them he has played from the start
    His deal with Eric changed the game
    The dirty work done he will take all the blame
    Daniele is mad at her dad for his speech
    Living with this girl must be a real peach

    Time for the Final Pick
    The show is ending and time is growing near
    The jury enters; every one of them is here
    Dick and Daniele are tucked away in the house
    Did you all see Jessica’s slutty blouse

    The jury must vote, but for whom we do not know
    Eric is up and his vote was a clear throw
    Jameka will vote for who she respects
    Dustin for the one whose actions were complex
    Jen would prefer to vote for no one
    Zach votes for the one who made him come undone
    Basing her decision on “game strategic purpose” is Amber’s vote
    I’m voting for “who I enjoyed most” was Jess’s quote

    We are getting so close and I don’t know if I’ll make it
    In roll the other house guests and I’m ready to quit
    Questions are asked, answers are given
    Insanity is where I am being driven

    It’s twist time and how will everyone react
    When they find out Eric’s game was all an act
    A montage is shown, and I actually crack a smile
    It still doesn’t make me think he’s anything but vile
    Jess is shocked, and Jameka thinks it all makes sense
    Eric tells Jess he was true to her in his meek defense

    The time is finally here to see who wins
    Who will have to answer for all their sins
    The votes have been tallied and Julie pulls the first key
    A vote for Dick is what we see
    Daniele gets one, then another for Dick
    Daniele gets one more and the rest makes me sick
    Dick has won and taken this pitiful game
    $500,000 is what he can now claim

    The season is done and hell has frozen over
    Dick is off to the land of the four-leaf clover
    My job is finally complete and my life can go on
    Now people won’t think I’m all scary and withdrawn

    I hope you enjoyed this recap of rhyme
    Send me a PM if you have the time
    I hate all the hamsters, more than most
    I am officially done as the finale recap host!
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 09-19-2007 at 03:26 PM.

  2. #2
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Quote Originally Posted by Yardgnome;2578577;
    All in all it started out as lots of fun
    As the season wore on I needed a gun

    Dick learned about overconfidence from Dustin
    Im grasping here, anyone named Justin?

    The season is done and hell has frozen over


    That was excellent, Yardgnome. You are quite talented.

  3. #3
    FORT Regular gameon's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    the best! thanks

  4. #4
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Oh, ye talented rhymer, thanks for this ingenious ode!
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

  5. #5
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Love it, Gnomie! Great idea and great recap!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  6. #6
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    What a neat idea, Gnomie! I loved it!
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Great recap, yard, and you know I love ya, girlfriend, however:

    Perhaps it's just me
    But I disagree
    I jump and rejoice
    That Dick was the choice.

    Last edited by Pomeraniac; 09-19-2007 at 08:50 PM.

  8. #8
    Veronica Mars Bridget Jones's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    That was amazing. =D

  9. #9
    Magical Elf MFWalkoff's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    Bravo!
    "Whatever you are, be a good one." Abraham Lincoln
    What is an "MFWalkoff?"

  10. #10
    Waiting for my BB fix hotrocks's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother Finale: In the End, Everyone Wanted Some Dick

    That was great!! Thanks for your time with that wonderful rhyme!


    What doesn't kill you, just screws with your head !!

    Evel Doer's club member.

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