The last time the show aired, Amber was evicted from the house, but just before she left she whispered an ominous warning to Dani to get Eric out of the house. I’m not sure if I’ve made it clear in the past, but I hate these people. So much so, in fact, I actually did something today simply to delay having to sit down and write about them. Did I... a) clean out the refrigerator, b) donate blood, or c) volunteer to bathe my neighbor’s cat. Stay tuned to find out - see, I can throw out meaningless cliff-hangers just like Julie Chen.
Tonight’s show begins where we left off last time - at the HoH Competition. The HG’s race back and forth filling little cups with tea to be carried to an empty bowl. The first to fill their bowl wins, but in order to make this a BB Insurance Liability Test, the track is sprayed with baby oil and other slippery liquids making the competition rife with off-balance pratfalls. BB adds various options to the game such as a beaker, which if filled, the competitor can get a phone call from home, and slightly larger cups that bring a penalty of putting the entire household on cold showers if used. Jessica and Jameka (who is still prevented from participating in the competitions) laugh as Eric takes some hard slams to the ground which makes me wonder if having good balance has any correlation to how good a lover he is. If so, it’s no wonder Jess lays there comatose with her arms at her sides when he kisses her, meh. Another thing I’m curious about is whether the HG’s have signed waivers not to file a lawsuit while on the show. They must have, because a hefty injury lawsuit would far surpass the jackpot of $500,000. Wouldn’t it be great if Larry H. Parker stood right outside the front door chanting, “I’ll fight for you!” Then the guy who touts, “Larry Parker got me $2.1 million,” could pass out Larry’s business cards, and Dani could whine, “Larry, it was horrible living with my dad, will you fight for meeeeeeee?” It just occurred to me this could be a Southern California advertisement only, and if so, many of you won’t know what in the hell I’m talking about. Trust me, it’s an obnoxious commercial that runs far too frequently here. But back to the hamsters, everyone goes for the larger cups which means eight days of cold showers for all. Yay!
After many hard falls and lots of swearing, the bowls are finally getting close to being filled. Eric, lagging behind, opts to fill the smaller beaker for the phone call and secures that reward. Eventually the contest closes in between Dick and Zach, which has deeper meaning than what it appears on the surface. An hour before Amber’s eviction, Dick confronted Zach when he heard that Zach had vowed to vote against Daniele if he had the opportunity. Zach admits he did say that because he will do anything to get off the block. Is Dick incapable of having a rational discussion with anyone about anything? His attitude quickly deteriorates so that he’s a swearing, sarcastic, bully verbally attacking Zach, which makes me hate him all the more. I understand Zach is an oaf, but Dick is impossible, and if I were ever given the chance to throw him under a bus, I’d gladly accept the task. Well, not really, but I could probably be talked into sticking my foot out to trip him if the price was right - or if Drew Carey asked me, heheh. Zach eventually wins, and the others can barely mask their disappointment to see him as HoH as they all realize they’re in for some huge paybacks. Way to be good sports there, guys.
Who’s the Weak One Now, Putz?
Jess reminds Eric he won the phone call and asks if he’s keeping it for himself or offering it to someone else. Eric tells us he was debating whether to give it to Jameka (because she and Eric are the only two who haven’t had some kind of contact from home) or Jess because, well, because he hopes to keep Jess bonded to him (in more ways than one). He ultimately gives it to Jess, and she’s excited because she’s hoping the call will be from her younger brother who has just returned from Iraq. Eric’s emotions overwhelm him and he sits down, almost in tears. Earlier in the week Jess was concerned if Zach won an HoH, he’d come after her, but Eric talked her into keeping Zach in the house, saying he was a weak player. Obviously that’s not the case now, and Eric is deeply troubled about the turn of events.
Dick and Dani are alone and Dick frets Zach will come after the two of them. Dani comforts her Dad saying she has a lot of pull with Zach and she believes he’ll go after Jameka and Jess. When Eric and Jess are alone, he apologizes for the mess they’re in, but she unsuccessfully tries to assure him everything will be okay. Eric vows he will work on Zach relentlessly (now there’s a horrible image) and promise him anything (ew) to spare Jess.
Poor Sports Abound
Crickets chirp and tumbleweeds blow through the house when Zach shouts, “who wants to see my HoH room!” On the walls are pictures of Zach’s brothers, his parents and his dogs. These miserable people can barely offer up a muttered attaboy, and within minutes they leave Zach to relish in his pictures, Frisbee and notes from home. Dani is apparently the smartest person in the house (and that’s not saying much) because she lingers behind to chat one-on-one with Zach. She tells him everyone is nervous with him as HoH, and he fills her in on Dick’s earlier rampage against him. Dani says she can truly understand - it’s due to his yelling that she didn’t talk to him for six years. They commiserate that Dick insists on getting respect because he’s an adult, but that he doesn’t act like one. She warns Zach not to tell anyone what they’ve talked about or she’ll “freakin’ kill him.” Um, there are cameras recording your every movement, Dani. Zach confides that he doesn’t like Dick’s tactics, and he says he feels sorry for her. Later in the DR, he asks us, “can you really trust a guy named Dick?” I say you can always trust a guy named Mick, you can sometimes trust a guy named Rick, but that you can never trust a guy named Dick (my apologies to any FoRTers named Dick *kiss*).
Whisper Sweet Nothings In My Ear
We’re privy to some of Jess and Eric’s bedtime sweet-talk. Jess lists what she’s learned in the BB house.
1. She doesn’t want a big family.
2. Even when Zach isn’t anywhere near you, he can still hear what you’re saying.
3. A 44-year-old man (who is the same age as her father) can act younger than her three-year-old cousin.
D. She’s learned how to trust people.
Speaking of trusting others, she asks Eric if he cast the mystery votes early in the game. He answers truthfully, yes, and naturally she wants to know why. He says he voted against Mike because he knew Mike would be going home anyway, and that he voted the second time simply because he had witnessed how crazy the first vote had made everyone and he wanted to do it again. He also cops to the mustard prank, and says he did it as a joke. Jess is pretty amused by everything, but does wonder what else he could be up to behind her back. If she only knew about his side deal as America’s Putz…
Finally, A Truly Sweet BB Moment
Dean, Jessica’s brother, calls and in typical younger brother fashion greets her with, “hey what’s up, loser?” He’s been home for a few days and she immediately gets teary-eyed at the sound of his voice. She tells him being on the show is a lot of fun and that she’s made some new friends. I hope Dean likes America’s Putz, because he looks like he could pound the snot out of Eric’s monstrous nose if he was so inclined. She tells us the hardest thing about being on the show was knowing she wouldn’t be home when he returned to the States. Jameka and Eric console her and she thanks Eric for the phone call.
America’s Putz I
Eric learns America wants Jameka nominated for eviction, and he thinks Zach will be easy to convince. He joins Zach in the HoH room and goes to work counting off the reasons this is the week for Jameka to go home - everyone would be happy to see her go, so there wouldn’t be any hard feelings about it, she makes everyone weary, and she’d be impossible to beat in the end and that makes her dangerous. Zach isn’t at a point where he wants to let on what he’s going to do, though.
Notify the Press - Daniele’s Been Thinking
Dani feels if Zach were to put up Eric and Jess, it would keep the blood off her and/or her dad’s hands, and it would keep Zach safe. She asks Dick if she should approach Zach with her proposal and he agrees. She finds Zach swimming alone in the pool - well not exactly alone - he’s got his jeans inflated with air and wrapped around his neck as he floats around the pool. She makes him promise not to tell anyone what they’re about to discuss, and tells him he has to believe her. She guarantees him that if either Jess or Eric don’t go home this week, he’ll be going home next week, unless she gets HoH. When he asks why, she says the odds are just against him. Dick joins the discussion and Zach says if he doesn’t put either of them up this week and they’re in a powerful position next week, will they return the favor by not putting him up. They both agree, but the BB sound-effects man makes that mariachi sound so I’m willing to bet one of them will betray Zach in the very near future.
America’s Putz II
Eric’s next challenge is to show his HG’s just how annoying they can be by mimicking the bad habits of the HG we choose. There’s the usual options to pick one HG, and I say, damn, why don’t we have the option to mimic all of them because they’re all annoying.
Jess is sure Zach will be nominating her, and Daniele feels very confident she’ll be safe. Jameka doesn’t think Zach will target her, but says you just never know. Everyone gathers for the big reveal, and Zach states it was a difficult decision since there are only five people left. He’s based his decisions on the friends he’s made in the months they’ve been there, and keys are pulled in the following order: Dick, Daniele and Eric, which means Jameka and Jess are on the block. Zach says he nominated them not for personal reasons, but because he doesn’t feel there’s much of a relationship between them and he knows they have strong bonds with others in the house which threatens him. Jameka’s furious, and Dani feels her friendship with Zach is paying off bigtime. Eric feels responsible for Jess being nominated, as he should. But who cares - a beautiful bright vision in yellow just appeared twirling on the television, and it’s JANELLE! She’ll be on the show Tuesday night, and I finally have something to look forward to on this damn show…yay! By the way I donated blood today, strictly to postpone having to recap this troll of a show. What would you do in order to delay recapping this show? Let me know via a pm here.
Big props to Snapit for the terrific pictures!