Hello Big Brother fans itís great to be back after having a week off and a big thank you to Marybeth for writing such a wonderful recap. Last time we were visiting the BB house nominations had just taken place and Amber and Jameka had been placed on the block. Dick, Daniele, Eric, and Jessica had formed a secret alliance to go all the way to the final four. The rest of us counted how many days left we have to put up with these immature babies. So letís jam our ear plugs in and pray for serious hardcore acid rain to fall in the Big Brother backyard and dig into this horrible mess.
Was wrestling part of the vision?
After the nominations, Amber and Jameka are upset they have been put up on the block. I assume god did not send them a memo and they therefore figured they were safe. Amber tells us that she wants to prove that good people can win this game. Now, good in the sense as a game player would not be her so good for her for rooting for Dick or Jen. If she means good in the sense of ďa good person,Ē I laugh really hard because it makes me think she is talking about herself. As Jameka is moping around after nominations, Daniele confronts her to talk but Jameka will have none of that. I guess the lord told her to keep to herself and be a whiny little bitch.
Meanwhile, in the other part of the house, Jessica and Eric are lying in bed together having a riveting conversation about wrestling. Eric used to be a wrestler and wants to show Jessica his ďmoves.Ē I think someone has used this line on me before. Donít fall for it Jessica. They try some moves on each other and their eyes lock and the stare down starts and Zach interrupts what never would have happened. Zach thinks itís funny and likes to interrupt the budding lovebirds doing their courtship dance. Jessica wants to show Zach that she can wrestle and the fun starts until Ericís hands go below the covers and then I donít know whatís happening but some intense music should probably be starting and a naked man with a mustache wearing socks should enter the room. This whole recap has gone horribly wrong.
Moving right along, Amber and Jameka are outside talking, unaware of what is happening in the house. They are both sick of Eric and Jessica like I am sick of the two of them. Amber thinks Jameka is a pawn to get her out because she is such a huge threat to the game. Maybe if they were playing for who cries the most or who makes the ugliest faces? Amber tells Jameka that she had a vision that she won POV and thinks it was godís way of preparing her for the week. She is also sure itís a sign they will make the final two. I think itís a sign the producers have been smuggling meth in the house. To end their discussion they both beg god to pull through for them this week. He canít have anything else better to do so hopefully he does.
Stroking woobie to much will make his arms fall off!
Itís Americaís player time and Eric is summoned to the DR to find out his next ridiculous task for the week. He is given a box with a stuffed bear inside named Woobie. America has chosen that Eric must give this to Jessica. Eric stuffs it in his pants and leaves the diary room where it should be burned instead of handed off. He finds Jessica in bed and sneaks up to her with it. He tells her some story about it being his childhood good luck toy and his mom found it right before he left and made him take it. She loves it, he gets in bed, they cuddle, and he owes America a big one.
Zach and Daniele gather in the HOH room to talk and reminisce about how long they have been in the house. Daniele misses Nick and it seems like forever since he was evicted. They both go on to trash everyone in the house and end with ripping Jen a new one. These two really donít care for her and frankly I find her a little off as well. So far, tonightís episode has been tons of funÖor I am becoming stupider.
I heard if from a friend, who heard it from a friend, who heard it from another that you picked them for the Veto competition.
Itís time to pick the veto players and I can muster zero excitement. Daniele gets to choose and selects Dick, Amber picks Jessica and Jameka ends up with Zach. The two finalist of the veto competition get a trip out of the house sometime in the week. Eric is super upset because he has never played in a veto and would really like to. To make it easier on him, Daniele selects him to be the host.
Eric and Jen talk and both are disappointed they will be sitting out because they would like to go on a trip outside the house. I feel really bad for them. Amber and Jameka are off in Lala land talking about god doing the veto this way so they can go on the trip together. It was not part of the vision though, it was NOT part of the vision!
Going hog wild for math
The veto competition is beginning and the guests all gather in the backyard to see a line of motorcycles lined up. Each contestant climbs on their assigned bike and Dick thinks his was custom made for him as his knees are propped against his chest. Fans of the show were asked their opinion of hot topics in the house and each competitor will need to answer with a percentage that they think answered a certain way.
1. What percentage of those polled think Kail would make a good politician?
The answer is 19% and that same group of people probably also think FOX News is an accurate portrayal of news. Dick is eliminated for being the most offÖin more ways than one.
2. What percentage of those polled think life in the Big Brother house is easy?
The answer is 14%, proving that 86% of those polled are idiots. Zach is eliminated.
3. What percentage of those polled think Dustin is a better boyfriend than Joe?
The answer is 47% and this proves that 47% polled donít mind a case of raging gonorrhea every now and again. Jessica is eliminated.
4. What percentage of those polled said they would rather have a beer with Nick than Mike?
The answer is 70% and if I was polled I would be in that group as well. Jameka is out and Amber is devastated that
godshe was wrong and her and Jameka are not going on the trip.
5. What percentage of those polled said Zach was the sexiest bunny of all?
The answer is 35% and I am still bleaching my eyes from the sight. Amber is out, making Daniele the veto winner.
Screams to god and other mindless prattle
Daniele wins the veto and Jen rushes over to congratulate her on her victory. Zach is ecstatic that 35% of the people find him sexy and goes in hot pursuit of that costume or something similar. Amber is seriously upset with god and doubting him because Jameka and her are still on the block. I am upset with CBS for not canceling this show. Amber goes off to cry and crazy talks to herself and asks god, ďwhy.Ē I answer on his/her behalf, ďbecause you are an idiot.Ē
Dick and Daniele go off to talk and Daniele tells her dad that she wants to take Amber off and put Jen up. She thinks she can get security for the next week from Amber for doing this. Dick thinks a great idea and another evil plan is formed and Amber will be too dense to know any better.
In almost a foreshadowing moment, Amber and Jameka are talking about the situation they are in. Amber still canít believe her vision didnít come true. I guess her future as a psychic is not going to happen. She then asks Jameka what she should do if Daniele tries to make a deal with her. Jameka tells her that she shouldnít let her take advantage and to now swear on her daughterís life. Amber agrees.
Daniele and Amber are inside and Daniele invites her upstairs to the HOH to talk. Daniele tells Amber that she is considering taking her off the block but wants to be safe the following week. Amber jumps all over that and tells her she will keep her safe beyond next week until she gets HOH. She then tells her she will vote how she wants and she swears on her daughterís life that she will keep her safe. Amber has some serious idiot problems and should probably never be allowed to speak again.
Get thee ass out the backdoor
Itís time for the veto ceremony and that means the show is finally almost over. I thank god instead of demanding that it be over. Jameka says she would like to be taken off but she will respect Danieleís decision. Amber cries about how hard itís been for her and that gets very original and tells Daniele she will respect her decision. Daniele uses the veto and takes Amber off and puts Jen up proving that she is not scared of the town idiot.
Make sure to tune in Thursday to see who is eliminated and to find out where Daniele and Amber are off to on their big adventure. Wait, we donít have to wait, they are off to New York to appear on the Power of 10 for the chance to win 10 million dollars. Amber seems to think she has a chance at winning and I just laugh at her innocence.
What % of those polled do you think hate this show more than me? If you can guess right there will be a special prize for youÖor at least hearty congratulations.