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Thread: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

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    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
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    Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Welcome to my very first Big Brother show recap of the season. Let's give a hand to Yardgnome for doing something productive with her life and not wasting an hour with the most ridiculous group of people. Ever. I'm gladly subbing for her this week, however I'm sure she's hoping she won't actually have to come back next week too. Yes folks, these people are that bad.

    Since our brains have actually fried watching this show, we can't actually remember what happened 2 nights ago. We're reminded that Dick was delusional and thought Eric would be voted out. But Dick was stunned and betrayed and went postal. Jessica boo-yahed her way to HOH making her the gas in Dick's fire. Dick began his tirade of love over the house until Jessica nominated both he and Daniele. Who will win the Power of Veto? Will they save Dick or Daniele? Will America's beyotch complete his task? Will this sub recapper go running for the hills before the hour is over? Stay tuned.

    So after nominations, Dick thanks Jessica for the honor of being nominated and vows to push Dani forward in the game. Daniele on the other hand hates fake people and liars because she herself is so brutally honest and real - she just finds it so frusssssstratingggggg. Jessica actually hopes to get Daniele out because Dick hasn't really set his targets on her. Yet.

    Daddy Advice 101
    Dick's realized that every move he's made in this game has been a mistake, mainly because he's not a good enough liar. Come on Dick, we all know that you pride yourself on being so honest with everyone! You lost your ability to get away with lying on day 1. So he proceeds to give Daniele some sage advice
    • Only trust Zach to a point because he's really out for himself.
    • Make sure that Jen feels secure with you and befriend her
    • Take your vitamins and if you can't swallow them, I'll crush them up for you.
    Awwwwwwww *sniff sniff*. Advice Daniele can take out to the big bad world and set forth to conquer it. Well, at least she'll have swallowed a Flintstones.

    You're invited to the HOH - well, except Jen
    Did you ever go somewhere, sit down and join a conversation that you weren't invited to and feel totally comfortable? Nope, me either. But not Jen! She just comes waltzing into the HOH room uninvited, sits her Jensa ass on the bed, chomping on her Jensa apple feeling like she's one of the girls. Jessica immediately shuts up and zones out. She decides not to be out and out rude to Jen and just ignores her. It goes right over Jensa's head.

    Hate. Despise. One in the same Dick?
    Dick has a plan. Since we all know he can't lie, he's decided to make sure that not only do the filthy five hate him, they despise him too. Huh? Hate=Despise, no? With this master plan in place, he starts with Dustin, or as Dick likes to call him - Princess. Princess is treated to the royal clanging of a pot lid and a spoon over his head. It reminds me of how my head usually feels on New Years Day - lots of clanging and unnecessary noise. Back under the covers he goes, giving Dick no choice but to move on to the others. He rattles on to Amber about her job, telling her she's a disaster on 2 legs and screaming about how Eric's a big liar. Jealous Dick? You always wanted to be a better liar. Dick really has lost his gourd sounding a little Katherine Hepburn-ish "Hellooooo Eric.....Helloooooo Princess.....How's your morninng??" He tells Amber he swears on her daughter that he'll make her miserable so Jameka tells Amber to go get her clothes and go upstairs to escape the Wrath of Dick. To which he says, "Hallelujiah!"

    Pretend to be interested everyone!
    Jessica comes out of the DR with instructions to pick players for the veto. She looks like she'd rather have a tooth pulled. Daniele's twirling her hair and barely paying attention. Jessica picks Jameka (Praise the Lord!), Daniele picks Dustin (Princess) and Dick picks Zach. amERICa gets to host.

    The players are then separated so they can't see each other for the first part of the veto. Jeff Probst comes out and gives them nasty stuff to chug......oops, sorry, I thought I was watching Survivor for a minute. One by one, each player goes outside and has to drink shots of 10 different concoctions from pickle juice to bacon/eggs/oj and the beloved BB blood. For each shot you gag down, you get one croquet shot in part deux. Hell, I should be in this competition. If I can stomach these pitiful houseguests, I can deal with a little chunky shot of blood.

    Let the stroking begin
    The croquet game begins with the person who had the least amount drank. Zach, who admittedly threw the competition, starts with 3 shots and earns 6 points. Jameka has 4 shots, earning 10 points. Jessica has 5 shots, earning 17 points. Eric does his best Chris Harrison impression telling each player that this is their final rose, er...shot. Daniele has 7 shots earning 20 points. Dustin gagged down all 10 shots, earning 32 points. Dick also gagged all 10, edging Princess out by a pea {cue dramatic music} 33 points! King Richard wins POV, blowing kisses to the Princess and thanking Jessica. Too bad, so sad. Rock on!

    WWJ*D? *Jameka
    Jameka and Daniele briefly get into it in the kitchen because Daniele never stops Dick's tirades. They decide to discuss it further, moving to the bathroom. That would be my #1 choice of rooms to discuss the crap that Dick spews. After Daniele tells Jameka that it sucks to be her, she storms out of the bathroom and heads for the HOH to tell everyone that she's sooooooooo tired of apoligizing for things Dick's done. She's not his mother. Screamfest '07 begins between Jameka and Daniele, with Jameka claiming Daniele has never made the effort to know any of the people because she was holed up with Nick - challenging her to name 3 facts about each person in the room. Helluva time for Houseguest Jeopardy Jameka.

    Daniele plays the "this is not just the game, it's my life" card. Jameka apoligizes for calling Dani out. Zach comes out of mute mode saying Dani shouldn't have to explain her father's actions. Wow. He speaks. Flash forward to a smiling Daniele in the DR saying it's all strategy. Daniele & Dick have a pow-wow saying how great her show was and that it was all a devious little plan to get Dani in good graces with the remaining houseguests. I guess Daniele is the Donato who knows how to lie! More Daddy advice to come....

    Back in the HOH, they discuss who should go up once Dick uses POV. Dustin actually offers himself as a replacement nominee because of his award-winning speech, which I offer to you verbatim:
    As you all know, I stand before you merely as a courtesy flush to the pile of crap who sits next to me.
    Okay, I'll give Dustin the $500K right now if he actually has the cajones to say it. Now of course, our puppet boy is beyond excited because this takes care of the task of getting nominated.

    Eric gets called to the DR for his next task. We've told him to give the silent treatment to someone. Now we all know Eric can talk the bark off of a tree, so giving the silent treatment to anyone is next to impossible. But America, vowing to screw with Eric even further, has been told he must do it to Jessica. The look on his face says it all. I wish I was a fly on the wall for the initial reading of that card. I'm guessing the final DR session we see was take 32 or 33.

    Eric does what he can in order not to piss Jess off, so he fakes an illness. After a brief conversation with Jen, Jess is worried that Dustin is actually in cahoots with Dick & Daniele. She wanted to discuss it with Eric who was hiding under the covers. He basically tells Jess he won't talk - he fails his task and proceeds to get Jessica pissed off.

    Jess talks to the invisible people in the HOH room saying both Eric and Dustin have a deal. LIGHTBULB MOMENT! This sends Jess crying in the DR. Can you hear Carol laughing??

    The Wall Gaze
    Dick gazes at the wall of idiots and proclaims he'd give his life for Daniele. He claims if he didn't use the veto, he'd be a complete and total jackass. Call me stupid, but I think that's a given with or without the veto.

    In a stunning reality TV editing moment, Dick decides "not to use the veto ..... {insert dramatic pause} .... on myself, but to use it on my daughter Daniele"

    Jessica then cries her way through putting up Dustin next to Dick. Dick giggles and is thrilled to be sitting beside a princess.

    Be sure to join our houseguests in 2 more days when we're treated to a black & white version of the last 10 minutes of this show.

    Will the Princess lose her crown?
    Will the Pawn go home?
    Will I get this hour of my life back?

    BOO-YAH!
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 08-22-2007 at 05:25 PM.

  2. #2
    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Will I get this hour of my life back?
    Sadly, the answer is no.

    Wonderful recap, Marybeth! I did not have time to watch last night and I am so happy I could read your recap instead. This season is a bunch of pathetic losers and its almost tiring making fun of them week after week.

  3. #3
    FORT Regular gameon's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    we all want that hour back!! thanks.

    so surprise Dani is working the room!! good for her.

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    Stuck In The 80's hvymetalchik's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Bye Dustin!

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    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Great job, marybeth!!!! I, too, missed last night's show and it was great fun reading your take on it!

  6. #6
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    This sends Jess crying in the DR. Can you hear Carol laughing??
    I don't know, but I sure was!

    I actually fell asleep during the show...thanks for the much funnier recap, marybeth!
    It was me. I let the dogs out.

  7. #7
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Quote Originally Posted by marybethp;2527286;
    Now we all know Eric can talk the bark off of a tree,


    Excellent recap, marybethp.

  8. #8
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Quote Originally Posted by marybethp;2527286;
    Will this sub recapper go running for the hills before the hour is over? Stay tuned.

    Well, at least she'll have swallowed a Flintstones.

    She just comes waltzing into the HOH room uninvited, sits her Jensa ass on the bed, chomping on her Jensa apple feeling like she's one of the girls.

    If I can stomach these pitiful houseguests, I can deal with a little chunky shot of blood.

    Eric does his best Chris Harrison impression telling each player that this is their final rose, er...shot.

    Helluva time for Houseguest Jeopardy Jameka.

    Now we all know Eric can talk the bark off of a tree, so giving the silent treatment to anyone is next to impossible.

    I'm guessing the final DR session we see was take 32 or 33.

    This sends Jess crying in the DR. Can you hear Carol laughing??

    Call me stupid, but I think that's a given with or without the veto.

    Be sure to join our houseguests in 2 more days when we're treated to a black & white version of the last 10 minutes of this show.
    Marybeth, awesome hilarious recap, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  9. #9
    REMAIN INDOORS MotherSister's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Way to take one for the team, marybeth. Your recap rocked.

  10. #10
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
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    Re: Big Brother 8/14/07 Recap: The Princess and the Dick

    Hee. Great recap, marybeth!
    "Among the blind, the squinter rules." ~ Gerard Didier Erasmus

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