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Thread: 7/17/04 Recap - Comes An Outer Horseman

  1. #11
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Marvin tells us in the Diary Room that he’s happy to be Head of Household because that means he won’t be on the block for this week. That kind of ordinary comment annoys me with its stunning lack of insight, but I suspect CBS prompts players to remind everyone of the rules so I’ll cut him some slack. I do have to point out, however, that Marvin has quickly established himself as the master of run-on cliches. “You’re seeing how far a dude can make it in this house,” he says, “by keeping it real (*ding*) and not kissing butt (*ding*)”. That’s two in one sentence! But hang on. He’s just getting warmed up! There are more to come! Oh, and incidentally, the answer is fourteen days. That’s apparently how long a single dose of keeping it real and not kissing butt can keep one dude in the house.


    Holly reveals that she is expecting to stick around a little while longer because she has made a promise to herself and to her cats. As we all know, a bond sealed with your pet – especially if it’s a cat – cannot be broken once made. Lori had best watch her step. It’s a stunning disclosure and a fitting end to another tempestuous episode of Big Brother 5.
    Hilarious recap paulie, it was much better then the actual show!

  2. #12
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Great recap Paulie!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  3. #13
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    After the commercial break, we cut to a horror movie starring Jase and Holly. He’s nibbling on her toes in the bathtub, shaving her legs, and calling her (*shudder*) “Buttercup.” For her part, she thinks he’s amazing and fantastic and scores “Super Points in my Holly Book” for wanting to be a fireman. I’d like to see The Holly Book’s scoring table to learn how many Super Points a person can get for wanting to be an astronaut. That’s gotta be worth more, doesn’t it? Personally, I think the volunteer firefighter business is as calculated as his phony first name (it’s really Jason, right?). Seems to work out for him, though, because he says he has older women “fighting to buy [him] stuff.” It’s Jason aka Jase’s Golden Rule: “If you’re a good-looking guy, forget it.” I don’t know where I was going with that. What was I talking about? Forget what?
    I loved the whole recap Paulie but this was the paragraph that had me spitting water at my monitor.

  4. #14
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Great recap, Paulie! (*ding*) I missed the show, but after reading your recap, I don't feel like I missed a thing! (*ding*) Your recap was better than the show! (*ding*) I wanted to quote the best parts, but I'd have to quote the entire recap! (*ding*) I'd quote, but my favorites have already been quoted. (*ding*)

    Seriously, Paulie, "Delta male" made me laugh loud enough to wake the folks in the surrounding cubicles from their post-lunch slumbers. That, and the entire running discussion of the "Four Horsemen" moniker. Outstanding, my friend!

  5. #15
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Hilarious, Paulie! I've got to stop trying to eat and read these recaps at the same time
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

  6. #16
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    Unfortunately, I had tickets to the theater on Saturday causing to me to miss this weekends rousing and, apparently, scintillating episode. However, after reading Paulie's recap I'm left asking myself, "Why in the world should I bother to tune in and watch when the recap is as entertaining as this"? You already know the answer to that one. I'm as whipped as the rest of you!!! As has previously been written, if I were to quote some of my favorite sections of Paulie's recap, I would pretty much have to plagiarize the whole magilla. Excellent work Paulie. I'll be back(ding).
    Gemini6

  7. #17
    FORT Fogey
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    Paulie that was a great recap! It was as good as those precaps you write for Survivor which make me

    I feel bad for Drew though. He's like number 4 in that alliance. I don't really like Michael, his head is shoved too far up Scott's butt. Geez. He's not a good player either.

    (*ding*) I love those things for every cliche Marvin said. Great great great. Marvin's so annoying!

  8. #18
    PWS
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wayner
    Great recap, Paulie! (*ding*) I missed the show, but after reading your recap, I don't feel like I missed a thing! (*ding*) Your recap was better than the show! (*ding*) I wanted to quote the best parts, but I'd have to quote the entire recap! (*ding*) I'd quote, but my favorites have already been quoted. (*ding*)

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    I’d like to see The Holly Book’s scoring table to learn how many Super Points a person can get for wanting to be an astronaut. That’s gotta be worth more, doesn’t it?
    You sir, are a riot!

  10. #20
    REALITY BITES Wisconsinswede's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    as Holly puts it, such as “pork ROYNDS.” God, can someone give this woman a voice-ectomy?


    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    “The Four Horsemen and then we get bandannas?!” he squeals. “Come on! It’s a sign from God!” His revisionist take on The Bible, with its Old West bank-robber-looking Horsemen of the Apocalypse, further demonstrates the strain their nickname is under at all times. I just can’t see the nickname surviving all the way to the end of the game. Surely it will collapse under the weight of all these metaphor-bending bastardizations, right?


    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    But Lori got her chicken in the beer box on the very first shot so maybe his passionate speech did have an effect, after all. “You totally redeemed yourself from last week!”


    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    Warm it up! (*ding*)”
    Marvins Milkshake?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    ubiquitous super-tall head band.
    Reminds me of Mark from the first season of Road Rules.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    in her trademark mustard font: “Liar U Suck.”


    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    He might last for a while with his Horsemen, but I don’t think he’s riding Victory.


    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    In the end, however, his life is spared as the nominees are the two women at the table with the largest hoop earrings, Lori and Holly.
    Dang Paulie you had it figured out all along didnt you!?!

    GREAT recap Paulie, best laugh all day! (And I missed the show)

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