Big Brother 5
7/8/04 Episode – Free the Hot Tubs!
Welcome to the second episode of Big Brother 5. For those who aren’t experienced Big Brother viewers, the normal rotation of shows means that this episode was destined to be a nomination episode and this show did not deviate from that tried and true BB staple.
As always, we start the show with a quick recap of last Tuesday. If you want to review what happened in the premiere episode, and to be more entertained that you would have been if you actually watched it, please read Amanda’s fantastic recap in this forum. You will not be sorry you did… and certainly you will feel a lot better after reading that compared to the migraine headache that will soon set it if you have the courage to continue on here.
Strategy, or as Cowboy Mike would call it, “Strat.. Stra… St… well that thinkun stuff”
Jase brings all the houseguests into his private suite for the week, and I have to give BB credit, as this season’s HOH Room is definitely a step up from the past.
The usual personal gifts for the HOH adorn the room, including pictures of Jase’s brother and sister, and his dog. Now, we don’t get to see a picture of the dog, but we are assured that he loves his dog more than his family. Veteran live feed viewers will tell you that the failure to show that picture means that the dog didn’t sign a release. I half expected us to go to the front of the house for ten minutes.
We are still early in the game, and I have always thought that it would be very tough to be the first Head of Household. You have to alienate two people in the house right off the bat by nominating them, and you don’t yet fully know how everyone is interacting with each other. It is very possible that you might inadvertently nominate someone who is well respected by a power bloc of people, and if so, you will find yourself on the hot seat the following week.
Therefore, Jase is faced with a difficult future, and not just because he is saddled with the name Jase.
It makes me wonder what his brother and sister’s names are? Vase and Base maybe? Oh, and no, Vase and Base did not see the sign, and they most definitely did not open up their eyes. Though I’ll bet you can’t get that darn song out of your head now the rest of the day. Pop bands from Sweden, you just can’t resist their wholesome goodness. It’s okay, give in to it. No need to thank me, it’s a public service.
Back to Jase though. His decision process is complicated when Cowboy Mike tells him that he thinks Jennifer… er… Nakomis is his sister. Jase is a little taken aback. After the all, the poor guy just recently accepted that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, and now he has to sort through all of this new information.
Jase contemplates what he has just learned. Cowboy hasn’t ever met his sister before this show, and now he is riding mixed emotions in what has to be an unreal situation. Mike has come to Jase for advice and support.
Jase, being a volunteer firefighter, knows exactly what to say. “What does this mean about anything?”
Brilliant! You see, Mike will be so preoccupied with unraveling that enigmatic message that he will completely forget about his new found sister.
Alas, the best laid plans of Jase and men fail, as clearly Cowboy is not a philosophy major, and wants to get the conversation back on point. Damn! Foiled again! Jase has no choice other than to bring in reinforcements. Several other men in the house are called into the bedroom to hear Cowboy’s story. There is a lot of disbelief, as you might expect, but I am most impressed with Marvin. Clearly he has seen every movie that has a police interrogation scene in it, as he plays both good cop and bad cop (with a generous helping of pimp cop later on, but we will get to that). Marvin assures us he can spot liars quite easily, and he mixes in a few swear on the bible’s with a threatening “don’t lie to me!”.
Despite Marvin’s incredible interrogation techniques, Cowboy is sticking to his story. They decide to bring Nakomis in, and Mike tells his story. Land mine in Vietnam. Poetry writing. Same last name. Etc… Nakomis is not fully convinced, but willing to consider the possibility.
Jase confesses in the diary room that he sure is glad that Cowboy and Nakomis were not making out the first night. You’re not the only one Jase.
At this point, the entire house gets together and they hear the story again. This is followed by Big Brother giving Michael and Nakomis letters from their Dad, explaining that he just learned recently that they are indeed brother and sister. It is a pretty touching moment, and of course it is no coincidence that Michael if Nakomis’ big brother.
Not everyone buys it. Marvin is still a doubter, as is Scott. Obviously Project DNA has some of the houseguests a little paranoid. Marvin goes so far as to say he will not believe it until “Buffalo’s fly out my ass.” Well Marvin, given how many quesadilla’s you fork down later in the show, I am not going to bet against any possibilities here.
Wasting away again in Big Brotherville
HOH Jase announces that it is time for the very first reward competition. In this event, the houseguests will play for the chance to unlock their hot tub, and get a margarita party with all the fixins, including food!
Now, call me cynical, but given BB’s predilection for showing skin, and lots of it, I very much doubt that the hot tub would stay locked no matter the outcome, but it appears the chance for real food is a motivator for the houseguests. Besides, it is pretty cruel to keep a hot tub locked up like that. Doesn’t anyone take the hot tub’s feelings into account anymore?
Jase has more though. He is asking all the guys to put on the ladies underwear for this little game, preferably the “thongiest” possible. Before you write, yes I know thongiest isn’t a word, but this is still America people, and if those marketing people at Kraft can use cheesiest, then I can use thongiest. Besides, it really pulls it all together, as guys in ladies’ thongs is about as cheesy as TV can get.
The thong results are mixed. Marvin seems to have destroyed Lori’s underwear, and she notes, in the understatement of the season to date that she doesn’t want those back. Meanwhile everyone is admiring Drew in a saucy little number that really accentuates his backside. Both Karen and Will need to take a personal moment at the sight of him.
Old Mike has learned over the years that underwear is just that, so wearing someone else’s is just a bit creepy. Apparently he is also the lone remaining male houseguest with a measure of self-respect in tact, and therefore he declined to participate. Jase assumes this means Mike is not a team player, rather than considering the implication that everyone he meets in life from now on will probably bring up the topic of how silly he looked wearing someone’s camouflage thong on national TV.
So in the challenge, the houseguests will make a giant margarita. Or, as I call it, “my usual”.
Holly, Lori, and Karen are assigned to chip and gather the salt. Karen lets us know that she likes her assignment, as she thinks the three gals are all “salty babes”. Hmmm, you know Karen, Big Brother did not lock the shower. You guys might want to try it.
Old Mike and Marvin are on Ice duty, while Drew and Scott will pour the fake tequila. Will, Diane, and Nakomis are bringing the sugar. Finally, Cowboy Mike will put on a lime costume and slide down into the margarita glass, to find the key that opens the hot tub. If they do this in 10 minutes or less, they win.
I’ll spare you the details of the contest, but suffice to say that Karen nearly took off a few of Holly’s fingers during the salt chipping, and she noticed that Holly didn’t seem to care. Marvin showed off his “grave digging technique” which pretty much sealed my decision to be cremated, and Will complained a lot about carrying a yoke on his shoulders. Scott assured us that he could have done Will’s job a lot faster. Very competitive Scott?
In the end, Cowboy scooted down the slide in an awkward manner, and Big Brother turned off the time clock on screen so that there would be no doubt of victory.
Later that evening at the food and booze party, Marvin eats much more than his share of the quesadillas and many folks noticed. Marvin counters in confessional by pointing out he is a big guy compared to those “skinny anorexic white woman” so he needs more food. It is difficult to argue with such logic.
Marvin also lets us in on his continuing strategy to make friends with all those skinny women. He takes some time in the hot tub to encourage Holly to drink more while he is giving the good old neck rub with intent to Adria. Or, as he called it, talking with Adria and that “ditzy blonde chick”.
The next morning our houseguests prepare for Jase’s nominations. Jase has his alliance in the HoH room to discuss strategy. Jase still wants to nominate Nakomis, but he knows that could be a difficult thing for Cowboy. They also wonder about Marvin, suspecting that his pimp-daddy act means that he will side with the ladies.
Clearly these guys are in control of the game, but in the past, many an early alliance has been flush with power, only to get flushed later on. These guys assume that they will continue to win HoH each week, rotating the win among them. If that is their strategy, then they are doomed.
Jase also learns of a big twist in the game, that being that the HoH gets a house monitor in his room, so he can spy on everyone else. Jase decides not to tell anyone, except his alliance. That may or may not work, as you can bet the first time someone other than the four win, they will likely spill the beans, and that puts Jase directly on the hot seat should it come to pass.
The rest of the day leading up to nomination time Jase spends touching base with everyone in the house about their feelings as to who is eject-able. Jase tries to make inroads again with Old Mike, but comes away convinced that he is not trustworthy, and likely is forming his own alliances. Besides, the guy is not willing to don a thong, and that is a clear character flaw in Jase’s mind.
Right on time then, we cut to Old Mike working with Diane. Diane, still flustered from seeing Drew in a thong, thinks that Drew seems honest, and maybe he would be willing to join them.
Okay, so you both think that Drew is going to bail out on the four person alliance he has with the HoH no less, and join you two. It just doesn’t add up, and to make matters worse, Mike then approaches Drew about such a partnership.
Not surprisingly, Drew immediately informs Jase of the two unbelievers among them, and that only confirms Jase’s fears regarding Old Mike. It is clear now that he will be one of the nominees, but who will be the second? One might think that Diane makes the logical second choice, but let’s not forget the intangibles. Diane looks good in a bikini. Check. Diane brought an incredible amount of underwear to the game. Check. Diane might be willing to share that underwear with Jase. Checkmate. Diane is off the blocks.
That takes us back to Nakomis, who has the unfortunate distinction of wearing boring underwear, and in Jase’s world, that means it’s time to go.
Seriously though, it is a good nomination, as given the new brother/sister news she is likely very safe compared to Old Mike, who is having a hard time bonding with his housemates. Nakomis feels the same, noting to all after the key ceremony that she is not worried at all.
Plus for Jase, if this backfires, then he eliminates an eventual threat that might arise out of the Cowboy/Nakomis relationship. Not a bad effort overall for a first time nomination.
Jase clearly hopes that Old Mike goes home, but many a BB player has escaped the noose in the past, and we still have whatever twists the Veto will bring this year to deal with, so the Four Horsemen need to be on guard.
For reasons not made clear, there is no Saturday show this week, so next Tuesday we will learn the fate of Mike and Nakomis.
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