Hello dear readers! Tis I, Iguanachocolate here once again to bring you another exciting episode of Big Brother 10. If you havenít had a chance to read MsFroggyís most excellent recap of the latest eviction and HoH competition Ė well, whatís wrong with you? It the easiest and most fun way to keep up with your favorite hamsters, read it here. Tonight is extra special because the HoH competition was an endurance one and that means that the HoH is still hanging around and up for grabs. Now tonight, happens to be the closing ceremonies for the Olympic games and I really want to watch those, so Iíve brought back everyoneís favorite sportscasters to recap tonightís events for you: Letís give a warm FoRT welcome to John Maddog and Dick Buttonholes! What? Dick Buttonholes has been disqualified for being overage? Well then, who knew. I am shocked. Never fear our alternate, Biff Biffington, is here and ready to rumble! Take it away, guysÖ.
JOHN MADDOG: Well, thank you very much, IC, weíre happy to be here.
BIFF BIFFINGTON: Speak for yourself, John. I had to pass up a gig at the US Open to be here. Stupid contractual obligations, blah blah blah.
JM: Errr, well, ok. To move on, we are in the back yard of the Big Brother house for the competition. It looks like the houseguests are hanging from the rafters and getting drenched. This is extreme monkey business folks. Looks a little tight for guys and their nether regions there, doesnít it Biff?
BB: I certainly hoped they remembered their cups and whoah - look at that Ė the classic drop and slam, things are looking up folks.
Black and White Has Never Been Prettier
JM: Yupper, the powers that be have started the hamsters swing and then did a sudden slam right into the wall. They werenít expecting that, now were they?
BB: John, it looks like Dan has been studying his anatomy, he is straightening his legs out periodically to take the pressure off the family planning unit so to speak. Dunno, but it looks like Dan is actually playing to win this one, John.
JM: Iíd have to agree with you there, Biff. Dan the scenario man has definitely thought this one through. He wants this.
BB: Oh yeah, he does. And oooooh, tough fall off for Jerry. He really slammed to the mat there. He may be injured Ė no, folks, heís ok. He is getting his walker now and making his way off the mat to the side.
JM: And there is Memphis with a full frontal attack on Michelle. Sheís crying foul over the water balloons, but there is nothing she can do but mutter under her breath. Alls fair when youíre hanging on a vine.
BB: Ouch! Keesha takes the wall head on and gets knocked off her perch. But letís face it folks, she wasnít really in it to win it, was she? Not when she has so many coattails to still ride on to the end.
JM: Iíve got to agree with you there, Biff. Keesha had that one HoH way back when, but she pretty much wasted it. Since then all sheís been winning at is the whine and wine competitions.
BB: Weíve been hanging out here for about two hours, now John. Who do you think looks like they are going next?
Bring on the Bananas!
JM: Well, Biff, Iíd put my money on Memphis. Heís been shifting around quite a bit and we know from the last endurance competition how tough Michelle is. And it looks like I will have to take those words back as the Portuguese Princess is off her vine. Looks like sheís got herself caught up in the netting down there Ė I know we should be impartial and not laugh at her, but frankly, itís just the funniest thing Iíve seen for a while. Guess the other houseguests will be hearing about that mishap for quite a while.
BB: Right you are, John. And now we have lost Memphis. It looked like he was trying to move the family jewels around a bit and ended up having to drop off. Weíve got Dan and Ollie there up as the final two monkeys.
JM: Biff, it sounds as though Dan is offering Ollie a deal Ė if Ollie drops, he wonít put him up. Ollie is turning him down flat. Dan tries again with saying that heíll keep Ollie and another player of his choice safe. Seems like Dan is playing the weak player card again. Now he is practically crying about needing to see his girlfriend. Ollie is not buying it.
BB: Dan is really pulling out all the stops now: heís telling Ollie he will keep him and another player safe, and Ollie will be able to choose one of the nominations and the replacement nomination if the PoV is used. I donít know who this Monica is, but she canít be that pretty for Dan to throw away his HoH this way. But, yes, Ollie takes the bait and drops.
JM: By looking at the secret diary room tape, Ollie thinks he has just won the HoH by giving into Dan. Dan thinks it may have been the worst deal in Big Brother history, but he seems to have a plan as he is confident it will all work out.
BB: Ollie is gloating with Michelle in the kitchen, saying he got a steal, itís the best case scenario for him. Has Ollie never seen Big Brother before? Do the names Kayser and Jen mean anything to him?
JM: Youíre right, Biff Ė Kayser did fall for that deal of Jenís and paid the price for it. Letís hope Ollie shows a bit more sense, but considering his showmance with April, Iím not certain he has any sense at all.
BB: Memphis is talking to Keesha and Renny in the Hippie room now. It seems they know a deal was made, but they havenít heard the details of it yet. They are hoping against hope that Dan didnít do something stupid, but Memphis feels he may have to take control of the game if he canít trust Dan.
JM: Dan has his HoH key now, looks like Monica is real and a real looker! There is a photo of her and she sent along a tee that says ďTakenĒ. Iím guessing that tee will become Danís new uniform of choice in the house. Look at this Biff, Dan is using the classic, ďsucker them with your tearsĒ technique as he reads his letter from home. Got to hand it to the guy, heís a bad actor, but he has them wrapped so tight, they are all believing his croc waterworks.
BB: After the others have cleared out, Ollie takes the time to make sure his Ďdealí with Dan is still good. He lets Dan know he wants him to nominate Memphis. Dan canít really offer any arguments against this as he wants to protect the secret Renegade Alliance. He hopes he can get Memphis to keep his cool.
JM: I canít really see that happening, Biff. And here we go, Memphis is confronting Dan about Ollie wanting him up. Memphis wants to know who is the HoH this week, Dan or Ollie? Dan wants Memphisí trust in him, but Memphis retorts that itís not Dan he has to trust, itís all the other loonies in the house who do the actual voting.
BB: Looks like Dan is taking that to heart. He is approaching Keesha and Renny to see if they would go for a final four with himself and Memphis. Keesha likes it, but Renny doesnít trust Memphis the canine. Hopefully Dan and Keesha can convince Renny, but Dan is none to sure about trusting a woman who wears pink wigs and boas.
JM: And Memphis has got Dan in the kitchen again Ė heís trying to understand how one member of a two person alliance can get HoH and put the other member up. Iím trying to give Danny-Boy the benefit of the doubt here, but I am having trouble with that concept as well. Memphis tells Dan that Dan would be the last person he would ever put up on the block. Well, letís see if that is true after Dan goes through with this hair brained scheme.
BB: Itís time for the nomination ceremony. Ah, Dan is doing a preemptive strike by revealing that part of his HoH deal was that one of the noms would not be his. Heís laying the groundwork for some Ollie blame, I wager. Dan pulls Rennyís key out first and it goes on down the line until, yes folks, he has done it, he has nominated his secret alliance partner Memphis and old timerís victim Jerry.
Father Dan, What Are You Thinking?
JM: I love that he gives Memphis a coded message about not being a vagabond, but being a renegade. Letís hope Memphis can take hope from that, but it looks bleak for him. Heís worried as well and says, ďIf my faith lies with Father Dan, God help us all.Ē
BB: And that is all from the Big Brother hamster abode tonight folks. Make sure to stay tuned for the recap of Tuesdayís show written by the brilliant Yardgnome!
Many thanks to Biff and John for filling in for me.
Are you a Renegade or a vagabond? Pm meÖ..