Itís finally time for the episode weíve all been waiting for! America has voted, and we have to sit through 58 minutes of worthless crap to find out the winners! Put on your thickest glasses and best pocket protectors, faithful readers. Itís time for the Beauty and the Geek finale!!
The show opens with Mike reminding us that tonight is the finale. Really? It is? The results are in and one team will be leaving the studio $250,000 richer! In the first of many, many clip montages, we are shown the day all of the beauties and geeks entered the house. We see John win prom king, Tony cry, and Sam shoot laser beams as his ďMetro ManĒ character. Iím glad the voting is over because, well, thatís just another reminder of how much of a tool I think Sam is. Come on, CW! I donít want to see clips. Bring out the couples!
Tony and Amanda take the stage first. Amanda looks pretty much the same and Tony is sans glasses. Josh and Hollie are next. Aww, I forgot how much I loved these two. Holly looks gorgeous and Josh has really turned into a hottie. He was booted before the makeover episode, so it looks like he got some fashion help on his own. Will and Rebecca emerge lookingÖ whoaÖ Rebeccaís hair is black! I almost didnít recognize her! Will is the same olí Will. Luke and Katie are next. Luke is such a cutie. Katie looks stunning in a purple dress. Another one of my favorite couples. Jesse and Erin are next, looking the same as they did on the show. John and Natalie take the stage and it appears as though Natalie borrowed some
varnishself-tanner from Sammy Boy. Joshua and Shay appear and Joshua looks as geeky as ever. I really grew to love these two. They were probably the funniest couple on the show. Iíll never forget Joshuaís exercise moves or his Napoleon Dynamite style dancing. William and Jen are last to come out, and I can sense the ever present tension between them.
Mike asks Jen if itís too soon to be seeing William and she tells him that sheís actually missed William. Wow, that sounded believable. Not. Those two like each other about as much as Sam likes losing. Joshua misses hanging out with people who actually laugh at his jokes. Mike points out that Will really irritated some people in the house *insert clip montage here* and Will looks super embarrassed. He apologizes to everyone and says he is so embarrassed by the way he looked on the show.
Itís finally time to bring out Dave and Jasmine. After a trip down memory lane, Dave and Jasmine take the stage. They havenít seen each other in 4 months. She squeals at the sight of him and he picks her up and swings her around with a hug. They are so excited to see each other! Jasmine tells Mike that sheís missed Dave a lot. Dave explains that when he first met Jasmine, she suffered from learned helplessness where she was completely dependent on other people. She giggles. He says that as time went on, he realized she has more self sufficiency. She thinks that Dave became more social and approachable. Mike asks Joshua if he regrets ďcalling outĒ Dave and Jasmine. Joshua says he doesnít regret it and he got the outcome he was hoping for. Dave showed growth, it just took a little bit more effort. He said the outcome was wonderful. In all seriousness, that kind of comment is what makes this show what it is. Joshua is truly happy that Dave and Jasmine grew as people. Bravo, Joshua.
Mike reminds Jasmine of how much she hated the creepy crawly challenge and shows her a clip of the challenge. She makes a pouty face the entire time. Well, what a coincidence. There just happens to be a spider on stage for her to pick up! She squeals and tells Mike she hates him. Dave takes the spider out of the cage and lets it crawl all over him. Jasmine is practically hysterical with her screaming and trembling. She keeps reaching toward it but pulls away every time. Finally, she pokes at it with her finger and it scurries away as she squeals and cowers behind Mike. I know I wouldnít want to be touching a hairy spider!
Speaking of things that make my skin crawl, guess who is the only couple we havenít seen yet? Thatís right. Please welcome Sam and Nicole! *insert clip montage #2984* Nicole looks stunning and Sam actually looks very nice too. Nicole says that Sam taught her that she can still succeed in life by taking it a little easier. Sam thinks that Nicole helped him to understand what kind of studying works for him. I imagine the only thing Sam could study for more than 10 seconds would be his reflection in the mirror. He thinks that he can take the things he learned from Nicole and maybe head back to college and see where things go. Mike points out that this is the first time Sam has seen Rebecca since being out of the house. Sam and Rebecca smile at each other. Sam says itís hard to stay on the couch because he wants to go talk to Rebecca. He has missed her since she left the house. She comes down from where she is sitting and they hug and kiss.
Mike asks Rebecca if she has any beef with Nicole for pretty much orchestrating her elimination. Rebecca says she doesnít blame Nicole and apologizes because she didnít realize that Nicole was so upset. Will thinks even though he was on the wrong end of her plan, it was magnificent.
Itís time now for viewer questions! The first one goes to Sam. A viewer writes, ďYour muscles are huge! How often do you train?Ē Sam is really flattered. He says he isnít as bad as he used to be, but he tries to stay in shape. That didnít answer the question at all! Jeez. The next question is for Rebecca. A viewer writes, ďWhat did you think when you heard Sam say he liked Amanda first but that she left too soon?Ē She says she sensed it and she was relieved when Amanda left. Amanda had no idea Sam had the hots for her. She missed out on a real prize.
This seasonís old married couple, Shay and Joshua, is next in line to chat with Mike. Joshua says when they first partnered up, he was lacking in the social skills and Shay was lacking in the academic skills. As the underdogs they could learn the most from each other. Shay says she learned patience from Joshua. Mike asks if they would compare themselves to an old married couple or was it just Shay being a bossy mom. Shay thinks they were more like an old married couple, but Joshua thinks Shay is more like a bossy mom. He knows she was only bossy because she actually cares how he turns out. Speaking of moms, guess who makes a ďsurpriseĒ entrance from backstage? Itís Joshuaís mom, Marla! Shay is absolutely thrilled to meet her and gives her a giant hug. Marla thinks Shay was so patient and absolutely great with Joshua. Joshua is pretty quiet because heís afraid to interrupt either of his 2 moms. Marla heads back to the audience with her other 2 sons who also look exactly like Joshua.
Mike moves on to the results of a fan poll. Fans were asked which beauty they had a crush on and the winner was Sam. Hmm. Who are these so-called ďfansĒ that voted Sam as the winner in this category? It sure wasnít me! The fans were also asked who the geekiest geek was. The landslide winner was Joshua. Josh came in second place. He informs us that he is no longer as hairy as he used to be. He got rid of all the hair on his stomach, chest, neck, shoulders, and back. Of course, Mike asks him to take his shirt off for proof. He says the main reason he did it is because Rebecca promised him if he got rid of all of his hair, she would give him a massage with massage oils. Wow, another coincidence. There just happens to be a massage table on the stage! I didnít see that one coming at all! Josh lays down on the table and Rebecca rocks his world.
After one final montage of this seasonís highlights, itís FINALLY time to announce the winners. Well, almost. Mike asks Luke how he has been keeping up with his transformation. Luke now goes to a salon to get his hair done and he no longer wears jean shorts. Hollie announces that she is planning on going back to college to study anthropology. Jen has decided that she is going to take a realtorís course. She has the personality of a rock. Josh says before the show he hadnít ever been on a date, but now he has a girlfriend. Luke says before the show he would go on 2 or 3 dates a year, now he goes on 2 or 3 a week. Wooo player! William advises future beauties and geeks not to judge books by their covers. Jen is happy that she and William are cool. Once again, Iím not buying it.
Sam, Nicole, Dave, and Jasmine finally (yes, for real) take the stage. Mike gives each team an envelope. One envelope is empty and the other contains a check for $250,000. The winners of Beauty and the Geek 4 areÖ Dave and Jasmine!!!! Jasmine squeals and dances. Everyone hugs. Dave said it feels good, damn good.
Well, another season is in the books! Itís been a pleasure recapping this show that really has stolen my heart. Iíve enjoyed sharing every single moment with all of you. Thanks for reading!