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Thanks for your patience faithful Beauty and the Geek recap readers! I was on vacation this past week, and unfortunately not even a bribe of 20 bucks and a bottle of vodka could lure in a substitute recapper! My friends at the Fort like to give me thetorturepleasure of watching this gem of a show. Okay, I can’t lie. I love this show. You all know I love this show. I’m even thinking about starting my own LARPing club! Tee hee. Now there’s a lie, but I was just making sure you were still with me! That being said, onward to the Kingdom of Dorkdom!
Like the beginning of every episode, we get the rundown of what you may have missed. If you missed Dave getting waxed, the geeks’ makeovers, the Beauty and the Geek prom, the beauties’ teaching, or Luke and Katie being eliminated, surf around on our Beauty and the Geek forum. You’ll find everything you need to know there!
Just When You Thought This Show Couldn’t Get Any Geekier…
Sam and Nicole made it safely out of the elimination room last week, and they walk up the steps to reveal theterriblegood news to everyone else. When they enter the room, everyone gives a fake smile and a little sympathy clap, but doesn’t get up to hug or congratulate them right away. Sam thinks the other houseguests are intimidated by him because he is such a strong competitor. He says he even scares himself with how well he is doing. All that fake self-tanner you have on scares me, Sam.
Dave talks with Shay and Josh, saying he isn’t sure how to improve himself. Josh says that Dave can always talk with him or Shay, and Shay tells him to talk to Jasmine. Dave isn’t sure he knows what to say to her. Later that evening, Dave and Jasmine have a little chat. He says he is a terrible person, she says he isn’t. She tells him that he is a good person and they have to keep learning from each other. He wants to rebuild. Jasmine does appear to have a brain cell or two behind that blank stare!
The ladies and gents file into the study for the announcement of this episode’s challenge. It will be the season’s first team challenge. Mike reveals that it will involve fashion, modeling, and a catwalk at… COMIC-CON! The geeks go crazy and high five each other while the beauties sit with bewildered looks on their faces. Side note: I had to do a double take when John was on the screen. Wow, he looks different! Anywhooo. Jasmine asks what Comic-Con is, and Mike reveals that it is the world’s biggest comic book and superhero convention held annually in San Diego. Erin doesn’t seem too thrilled to be going to what she calls, “Comic-Tron, Comic… I don’t freakin’ know!” My thoughts exactly, blondie. Each team will create their own comic book superhero and the beauties have to come up with the character, the complete back story, and create an arch nemesis. The beauties will be modeling outfits designed by the geeks. Dave is a bit scared because his experience in sewing and making costumes is very, very limited. He must rent those fancy shmancy LARPing outfits. Actually, my guess is that his mom makes them. Right after he massages her with his typewriter technique. *shiver* Since this is a team competition, the winning team will receive the power to choose both teams to send to the elimination room.
Superhoes. Oops, I Mean Superheroes.
The teams begin planning all things superhero. Shay thinks Steam or Breezy might be good names. Josh likes Steam. Shay looks through a comic book, noticing that the characters are practically naked. Joshua thinks that would attract attention at Comic-Con, but she says she won’t walk down a runway with no clothes on. My eyes thank you, Shay. Erin’s superhero is Aqualita Splash, and she is a beach girl with a rocket powered surf board. Jasmine thinks she should be Princess Bed-Head. Her inspiration? A BedHead hair product advertisement. She would stop criminals by making them instantly fall asleep. Her weakness is coffee. Sam thinks he could just go out there and be himself, since he’s such a superhero already. I have a few suggestions for you, Sam. How about Captain Conceited? Self-Indulged Sammy? Too Tan Toolbag? Mr. Hairgel? Sam thinks that he should be super good looking, super smart, invisible, and able to fly. He will be able to go around and impregnate girls and they have the babies within minutes. That’s all this world needs, more Sams. Natalie decides that she wants to be a super villain rather than a superhero. Her bones will be made of vines and vines come out of all of the openings in her body. Jen wants her character to have psychic powers and to hypnotize her enemies with her boobs. Hey, this might actually work. Jen does have huge boobs. William gets a bit fired up and shoots down her ideas.
The geeks enter a room full of materials, accessories, and props. Dave has no idea what to do with any of it. The male geeks are puzzled over patterns and tools. Nicole offers her assistance and suggestions. She explains patterns and pinning. Nicole apparently isn’t sewing anything, as she applies super glue to her material. She tells the guys that Sam isn’t going to wear a shirt. Wouldn’t that be funny if she super glued something to his chest then ripped it off? Yeah, I thought so too. Dave has absolutely no idea if he is using a plus size or juniors pattern.
Meanwhile, Erin and Natalie are talking about their characters. Natalie is going to be Vanity the Lady Killer. Erin asks her if she only hates girls since she’s the lady killer. Natalie responds that she’s a lady and a killer. Duh, Erin. hehe. Natalie is such an idiot sometimes. John comes into the room with a tiny shirt and asks Natalie to put it on to see if it fits. She says it does (if you call looking like a hooker “fitting”, then I guess it does) and remarks that she loves boobs. Joshua is having a little trouble making Shay’s outfit. He is having trouble making her top stay. She reminds him that superheroes don’t wear a million different colors. His material looks like duct tape.
It’s now 7 hours into sewing, and some of the beauties are starting to get frustrated. Jen says that William hasn’t even gotten her measurements yet. In the sewing room, William asks the guys if any of them want to change partners. They all chuckle and say no. He starts ranting that she is acting like a prima donna and he is going to try to make her look as fat as possible. In a “not staged by the producers” moment, Jen just happens to be at the door of the room overhearing William’s harsh (yet pretty damn funny) words. She asks Will to go upstairs to talk. She tells him that she is frustrated as his partner and she tries to get him to work with her but he won’t. He tries to defend himself but she yells at him to stop interrupting and to stop f’in rolling his eyes. They decide to start from scratch and try again. He walks away and she calls him an idiot. We are at the 15 hour mark, and Jesse, Dave, and John are the only geeks still hard at work.
Freaks, Weirdos, and Dorks: Oh My!
The following morning, the beauties and geeks hop on a bus headed for Comic-Con. Jen is pissed that she is sitting in between William and Dave who keep talking about comics, so she asks William to switch seats. Sam makes fun of William because he is getting emotional about something or other and tells us that William is like a 4 or 5 year old at Chuck E. Cheese.
Everyone arrives at Comic-Con and the geeks are like kids in a candy store, or, well, geeks at a comic book convention. Shay comments that the freaks, weirdos, and dorks were definitely out for the occasion. Jen says there must be a lot of dorks in the world. Dave thinks it is heaven for people with ADD. Erin says that Comic-Con definitely changed her opinion about comic books. Everyone goes to meet Mel, the editorial director of Wizard comics. William blubbers on and on like a freaking idiot. I’m waiting for him to wet his pants. The browsing is over and it’s time for the competition!
George Hamilton Called, He Wants His Tan Back
We are introduced to the judges, who are some random comic/entertainment men in bowling shirts and one sports a 70’s porn star mustache. The first team up is Joshua and Shay. Joshua: “Gentlemen, ready for her first Earth interview, I present to you, Steam!” Enter Shay wearing black books, red hot pants, a blue tank top, and gold gloves. She clams up in front of the judges, but does manage to say that her enemy is Pluto. Next, from the deepest depths of the oceans is… Aqualita Splash (aka Erin)! She has a surf board in one hand and a starfish in the other. She is actually wearing a pretty cute outfit. She has on a purple bikini with a sparkly purple skirt. She says that her top scale dolphins are researching new ideas. Jesse has no idea what she’s talking about. Here comes Venus, the Hypnotic Temptress! Jen cartwheels out then picks up William and flexes her muscles. She has on a ridiculous outfit which includes a wig, goggles, and a purple fishnet type getup. She explains that she hypnotizes people with her boobs and she is trying to prevent procreation of aliens. John takes the stage and informs us that the icy chill in our hearts is Vinity! Natalie comes out with a black top, a pink shrug over it, a bluish skirt, vines around her arms, and a cape. She tells the judges that she is a lady killer because she is a lady and a killer. She is addicted to killing and addicted to killing and eating humans.
Sam is backstage spraying himself with MORE fake tanner. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s George Hamilton Jr.! He doesn’t even look like a superhero. He looks like the 14 year old boys who skateboard on the sidewalk outside of my apartment. Nicole takes the stage and introduces Metro-Man. Are you kidding me? Sam flexes his muscles and Nicole kisses them. He is wearing no shirt, black spandex shorts, a chain, a necklace, and black wrist cuffs. He is a world famous underwear model and he likes to mess with his foes by breakdancing and reflecting bullets and lasers back at them. He received his powers from a spray tan bottle he found in the bathroom that belonged to, duh nuh nuh.. George Hamilton! Wow, I called that one. Sam dances a bit on stage. I feel like I need to throw a few dollars at him for this show. The last team to go is Dave and Jasmine. Jasmine’s costume is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I wouldn’t wear that if I was drunk and paid 50 bucks. She has on a blue sequined skirt, a purple shirt/smock type deal with blue stars on it, and a white tank top. He tells her not to be nervous; it’s just a game for fun. He compares it to a LARP. Who is the dream that dominates the night? It’s Princess Bed-Head! She sprays Dave with some hairspray or something. She explains that she can spray people with her special spray and it instantly puts them to sleep. She gets her power from the moon and the stars. She can also make people dream and have nightmares, and she can yawn for a minute to suck the energy out of people in the room. The judges seem to be loving her up. The judges poke fun at her outfit, but really seem to like Jasmine because she is so entertaining. The judges deliberate a bit, and announce that the winning team is Sam and Nicole. What? Are the judges blind? Jeez.
Not Even Aqualita Splash’s Surfboard Can Save Her Now
Back at the house, all of the couples study their materials just incase they are sent to the elimination room. Sam and Nicole talk about who they think should go. Everyone does the usual filing down the stairs, Mike makes his corny jokes, and it’s time to find out who will be going to the elimination room. Sam and Nicole choose John and Natalie as well as Jesse and Erin. Sam tells both teams they were chosen because he doesn’t think he can compete against two teams who are so close. The guys will be tested on fashion and the girls will be tested on comic books. Erin begins to cry and says she loves everyone and she doesn’t want to leave. Aww. We love you too, Erin.
The two marked teams take the walk of shame to the elimination room. John has a super crazy pocket protector pinned to his shirt. Erin holds a stuffed animal.
Beauties
First question: What are the 3 main colors in Captain America’s costume?
Natalie’s answer: Red, white, blue
Correct!
John/Natalie 1 – Jesse/Erin 0
Second question: If your superhero is infallible, what best describes her based on that trait? Incapable of making a mistake, unable to fly, or really pretty?
Erin’s answer: Unable to make a mistake
Correct!
John/Natalie 1 – Jesse/Erin 1
Third question: Who is not known for wearing glasses? Clark Kent, Wolverine, or Diana Prince?
Natalie’s answer: Wolverine
Correct!
John/Natalie 2 – Jesse/Erin 1
Fourth question: Superman was known for being advertised as faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a what?
Erin’s answer: Rocket
Incorrect. Correct answer: Locomotive
John/Natalie 2 – Jesse/Erin 1
Geeks
First question: Johnny Versace became well known for the pastel suits worn with T-shirts that he designed for which American television show that debuted in 1984?
John’s answer: Miami Vice
Correct!
John/Natalie 3 – Jesse/Erin 1
Second question: Who is this supermodel who is most closely associated with the heroin chic high fashion modeling trend of the 1990’s? (Showing a picture)
Jesse’s answer: Gisele
Incorrect. Correct answer: Kate Moss
Final Score: John/Natalie 3 – Jesse/Erin 1
John and Natalie don’t have the heart to celebrate their win because their good friends, Jesse and Erin, have been eliminated. They all share a tearful group hug. Erin says that this experience has meant the world to her and she had the time of her life. *cue Patrick Swayze* She knows everyone will be friends after the show. Jesse realized that beauties are nice and friendly and not at all snobby. Erin tells him that he taught her so much and he made learning fun. He tells her that she is amazing and she cares about other people. They hug.
Grrrrr. *throwing things at my TV* Every single week my new favorite team is voted off. Every single stinkin’ week! Wait. This is kind of like a fun prediction game now. My new favorite team is Dave and Jasmine. Due to the fact they are my favorites, I predict they will get kicked off next episode. I know Dave is super geeky and I bust on the LARPing a lot, but I like him. Jasmine is just too air headed not to love.
Next time on Beauty and the Geek: Everyone gets the surprise of a lifetime. They are going to Mexico! William and Jen reach their breaking points. The universe ends. Jasmine shaves her head. Sam gets a pimple and cries. Sorry, scratch those last 3. I was hypnotized by Jen’s boobs.
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Excellent recap, Ash. 
Yay! Ashley's back in the Fort house! 
I also agree with your favorites - I was so sad to see Erin leave the show and will miss her little face. 
I thought Jasmine was a riot as Princess Bedhead, and I got a kick out of the judges' reactions to her. Maybe we should announce that Jen and William are our favorites in hopes that they'll be the next to go. 
