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It’s the episode we have all been waiting for! Finally, it’s time for the makeovers! If I don’t see at least a pound of hair coming off of those geek bodies, I’m going to be pissed. If I don’t see at least half of the geeks being waxed, I won’t be a happy camper either. Sit back, relax, and bust out those tweezers because it’s time for another episode of Beauty and the Geek!
If you have a bad memory or were actually out having a life unlike myself, here are last week’s highlights: Will and Rebecca were eliminated. Sam completely disrespected Nicole by getting hot and heavy with Rebecca while Nicole was still in the room. William and Jen came back safely from the elimination room. (Did I ever mention that I rewind the opening of show a few times because I love the theme song so much? Uh, did I just write that for all of the world to see? *cough* Anyway…)
Extreme Makeover: Geek Edition
At the beginning of tonight’s episode, we get the usual clip of the non-eliminated team “surprising” the other contestants with the fact that they didn’t go home. William and Jen walk into the room. Everyone cheers. *yawn* Sam, sporting a Unibomber style hoodie, a super fake tan, and a frown, is disappointed that his lady love didn’t come back from the elimination room.
It’s now time for my favorite completely-clean-yet-I-heard-something-dirty conversation of the episode!:
Dave: “I heard Will drilling Rebecca all day today.”
William: “You know what I did today with Jen? I said ‘Alright, Jen. Go upstairs. Read.’ Then I drilled her.”
Tee hee
Joshua washes his face, but Shay doesn’t approve of his methods. She instructs him on how to use the washcloth, how to put cleanser on his face, and how to wash it off. She calls him an alien. She asks if he can feel the difference and he replies that he can taste the difference. Those two crack me up.
Mike gathers everyone together to announce what the challenges for this episode will be. The theme is “Back to School”. He tells the beauties they will be learning about reading, writing, and arithmetic. Erin asks what arithmetic is. I love the girl, but apparently she isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Although I believe she may be the blondest. (I decided that I’m allowed to make fun of blondes because I am one.) Seriously, could Erin use anymore peroxide? Yikes. I digress. Mike proceeds to tell the geeks that their challenge is a surprise, but that they will be getting makeovers! Hooray! They will be getting new outfits, new haircuts, a shave, and body waxing. Shay is ecstatic that Joshua will be getting waxed.
Nicole asks Sam how she can be hot. He says no more collared shorts. Katie tells Luke to never, ever wear jean shorts. Erin wants Jesse to get a decent haircut and he admits that his mom cuts his hair. Hmm. There’s a shocker. Moving on. Jasmine tells Dave he needs to get some new shoes. Dave describes his sense of style as efficient. She also tells him to get a watch without a calculator on it. Natalie wants John to get his hair cut. Shay advises Josh not to wear a black belt with brown shoes. Joshua diligently takes notes.
From Geek to Chic
To help out with the makeovers, Beauty and the Geek has enlisted the help of celebrity wardrobe stylists Sammy and Judy, also known as the The Kids. Hair will be styled by Janine Jarman, owner of Harrion Salon. I’ve never heard of any of them, but hey, whatever. Sammy tells Luke that he is very Tom Cruise Risky Business. Sammy then tells William that he is very Justin Timberlake. Next come the body waxing scenes. We watch Dave painfully get his chest waxed. What? That’s it?! You only showed ONE chest waxing? Damn you, CW!
It’s time for the big reveal! All of the beauties sit together anxiously awaiting their chic new geeks. Jesse comes out with bleached blonde hair and a suave looking suit jacket. Erin is very excited because they now have matching hair. Dave is out next, sporting a LARPing outfit complete with armor and a sword. Okay, I’m kidding. I like to make fun of Dave and his LARPing. Dave actually looks pretty good. He reminds me of Alton Brown from the Food Network. His brillo pad haircut is toned down a bit and he also has on a handsome jacket with jeans. Jasmine screams and hugs him. William comes out from behind the curtain, uh, looking exactly the same. His hair is a bit more red now, and Jen is disappointed. Joshua is next, and I think he looks pretty much the same as well. He still has his glasses and a similar hairstyle. He is wearing a tie and a nice jacket. Shay begins to cry. Joshua tells her that they straightened his hair and he kept wanting to comb it back. Next up is Nicole, and she looks absolutely beautiful. She has a gorgeous emerald green dress on which looks fabulous with her long brown hair. She isn’t wearing her glasses either. Sam, in a rare non-buffoon moment, tells her she looks good. Luke emerges looking very chic. His hair is gelled. He is wearing jeans, a collared striped dress shirt, and a tan jacket. Luke gets my vote for hottest geek post-makeover! John looks amazing after his makeover. He ditched the glasses, got a new ‘do, and has on stylish new clothes. John gets my vote for most dramatic makeover. Natalie thinks he is very attractive and she is absolutely shocked at his transformation. Good lord, I feel like Joan Rivers.
The contestants find out that they will be attending the prom. The geeks can ask anyone to be their date except for their own partner. Nicole gets to ask any of the geeks. The catch? Two beauties have to stay home from the prom. By default, Sam is one of them. Aww. Luke asks Erin if she will go to the prom with him. She happily agrees. Jesse asks Natalie and she says yes. Dave admits he has a crush on Nicole, so he doesn’t want to ask anyone in case Nicole asks him. Nicole asks… John. Slam! Dave asks Katie, Joshua asks Jen. Both beauties say yes. William asks Jasmine and she accepts. Shay is the other beauty who will be staying home from the prom.
Some of beauties and geeks want to get in the hot tub, while others decide they should study. Dave and Jasmine discuss continents and division. She has no clue what he is saying. Joshua sports a stylish shower cap in the hot tub. Katie decides she’d rather be in the hot tub. Sam wants to party, but decides his time would be better spent studying.
Hot For Teacher
The guys and gals find themselves assembled in a classroom. It’s time for the beauties’ challenge. They have to teach a lesson about a randomly assigned subject to third grade students. They will act as a substitute teacher for a classroom full of children. The principal of the school will be the judge. Wow, this ought to be good.
Jen teaches about fractions but has no idea what she is talking about. Erin teaches about geography and tells the kids that Florida is really fun. Natalie tells the class that any states that touch the Atlantic Ocean are the ones that border the Atlantic Ocean. The kids give her funny looks. Is this girl serious? Katie teaches about fractions but has no idea if the kids are giving her the right answers or not. Every time a student gives an answer, she tells them they have an excellent answer. The students shake their heads. One girl covers her face in disgust. Kids are pretty quick to pick up on extreme stupidity. Jasmine teaches about dinosaurs and the kids just stare at her with a look of complete shock. Sam also teaches about dinosaurs and seems to be active with the kids. They respond well to him. Shay will be showing the students some arithmetic. She decides that she learns best by people showing her things and decides to do the same for the third graders. She brings students to the front of the room and uses them as examples. Hey, Shay actually did something that would be considered an effective teaching method! You go girl! The principal tells the beauties that they all did very well. If by “very well” you mean “worst teachers I’ve ever seen”, then yes, I’d agree. The winner of the challenge is Shay! Shay and Joshua are safe from elimination and will be able to send one group to the elimination room.
Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture
Back at the mansion, the couples get ready for the prom. Sam takes pictures and he and Shay wave from the front porch like a proud mother and father. The couples arrive at the prom and get their pictures taken. They all begin to dance. Joshua busts out his moves in the middle of the circle. He jumps/hops and moves his arms around in a semi-crazy manner. I am somehow reminded of Napoleon Dynamite.
The geeks’ challenge is to mingle with the students at the prom and try to gain popularity. The geek with the most votes at the end of the evening will become the prom king (or queen). Jesse strikes up a conversation with this gem: “Was your momma a beaver, because daaaamn girl.” Luke does his best Derek Zoolander impression. Dave gets the ladies some drinks and they ask him what makes him so geeky. He goes on to explain all about his LARPing. One of these days Dave will learn LARPing isn’t going to help him score. Since he is talking with high school girls, I’ll let it slide this time. Some of John’s new friends don’t believe he is a geek. Tell me another one! It’s time for the students to vote, and the prom king is John! John and Natalie are now safe from elimination and can choose who they want to go to the elimination room.
Bye Bye Baby Bye Bye
John and Natalie choose to send Sam and Nicole to the elimination room. Joshua and Shay choose to send Luke and Katie. Joshua comments that they almost sent Dave and Jasmine because of inappropriate growth. Ugh! Joshua! Shut your mouth! Making more enemies is not a good idea.
Question time!
Question #1: If Nicole Ritchie loses 75% of her body weight, what fraction is that in the lowest common denominator?
Sam’s Answer: ¾
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 1 – Luke/Katie 0
Question #2: If I tell 5 people a secret, and each of them tells 5 different people the same secret, how many people will know the secret if we are the only ones who know it?
Katie’s Answer: 31 (Finally, a beauty that can count higher than 10!)
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 1 – Luke/Katie 1
Question #3: How do you spell “intelligence”
Sam’s Answer: I N T E L L I G E N C E
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 2 – Luke/Katie 1
Question #4: What is the westernmost state in the U.S.?
Katie’s Answer: There’s tons of them on the west! California?
Incorrect! Correct Answer: Alaska
Sam/Nicole 2 – Luke/Katie 1
Question #5: What famous mother of 2 made world wide headlines when she shaved her head at a Los Angeles salon on February 16?
Nicole’s Answer: Britney Spears
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 3 – Luke/Katie 1
Question #6: According to your material, what percentage of men in their 20s experience early balding? 20%, 40%, or 60%?
Luke’s Answer: 40%
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 3 – Luke/Katie 2
Question #7: What famous lip synching sister of a Newlywed star may have had a permanent makeover in the form of a nose job?
Nicole’s Answer: Ashlee Simpson
Correct!
Sam/Nicole 4 – Luke/Katie 2
Sam and Nicole win. Luke and Katie are eliminated. Urgggh! Why is Sam the toolbag still on this show? All of the teams I like seriously keep getting eliminated. During her exit interview, Katie says that Luke has a great heart and his outside now matches his inside. They share a tear and a hug. I throw things at my TV.
Next time on Beauty and the Geek: The geeks will transform their beauties into superheroes. Tensions will rise between William and Jen. I will fall asleep.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by BudBarclay;2616180; 
I love these people, but importantly I love your take on these people, Ashley! 
Thanks for another hilarious read and as always I always look forward to reading more from you. 
It appears Roses and I have the same funny zone and quoted the same things. 
