Beauty & The Geek 3 Recap (1/17) – Geeks Primp, Beauties Pimp
Hey there, Geekophiles! It’s time for another dose of total geeks getting mixed up with supposed beauties. The reason I say “supposed” is because to me, a woman’s (or a man’s…I’m not biased) beauty has as much to do with her looks as it does with her personality and the type of person she is. If you act in an ugly manner towards others, well, that makes you ugly. There are a few ugly beauties on this season’s Beauty & The Geek. You’ll see.
Last weeks elimination round winners, Andrea and Matt, weren’t really looking forward to rejoining the other teams upstairs. Well, Matt was into it, but Andrea was really reluctant to enter the room, since all of the blondes supposedly hate her. She seems to be right, since everyone up there gushed over Matt’s return, and treated Andrea as if she was yesterday’s newspaper on the bottom of a birdcage. The hardly beautiful Cecille rubbed salt in Andrea’s wounds even more by telling the others how glad she is that Sheree is gone. The tension between Andrea and the rest of the beauties is palpable.
Extreme Makeover, Geek Edition
Ok, it’s time for probably my favorite “challenges” on Beauty & The Geek—the geek makeovers. This season, the geeks will shop for their own clothes by themselves, and instruct a hair stylist on exactly the kind of look they are going for. While the geeks shop and get haircuts, the beauties will have to study business and marketing for their challenge. But before they go, the geeks get some amount of time to consult with their partner as to exactly what they should be looking for as far as hip clothes that will look good. Niels wants to be a rocker…white alligator shoes and all. Jennylee thinks that’s a terrible idea…the shoes, not the rocker look. To her, the rocker look is “Hawt.” Nate has a completely different approach. He likes the “au natural” look…he’s never even used deodorant…and is seriously considering a mullet. Luckily for Nate, Cecille shot that idea down fast and hard.
At the boutique, the geeks are all in a different world. None of them have ever shopped at a store like this one, especially Nate, who shops at thrift stores and, I imagine, Goodwill drop boxes. Matt wanders around the store like the typical clueless stork that he is (am I wrong? The guy looks like a stork!), and Drew simply daydreams about the Star Trek universe where everyone wears exactly the same thing. Niels worked hard to work his rocker look…even squashing the saleswoman’s opinion when she tells him she thinks he’s gone overboard with the layered look. He looks good, though…at least the show editors think so. They kept playing that super cheesy song by Levi Gunther…perhaps you’ve heard it on the net? The chorus? “Ohh, you touch my tra la la…mmmm, my ding ding dong!” It’s so bad it’s funny. On the flipside of Niels, poor Mario had the roughest time of all the geeks. With his short but stout body type, the boutique just didn’t have much that would fit him. Luckily for Mario and the rest of the clueless shoppers, they had a hair stylist appointment as well.
Back at the mansion, the girls have gathered for the big unveiling of the new and improved geeks. Niels, accompanied by his new theme song, comes out first to wild cheers and screams from the girls. Jennylee is very pleased. Next, Scooter makes his grand entrance, fully pleasing his partner Megan who claims that they’ll be moving the beds back together now. He looks much improved from his first day’s try at “Bermuda formal wear.” Drew comes through the curtain faster than a speeding bullet. Erin is happy that he lost his “all torso” look. Here comes Mario. He’s as nervous now as he was on the first day…I can tell because both times he fidgets and cracks his knuckles one by one. Mario looks great, and he really appreciates the cheers and hollers of the girls. His confidence is rising quickly. Next, Matt stork walks through the curtain. I’m sorry, I can’t get the picture of an awkward stork out of my mind every time I see Matt. He’s skinny, has a long neck, and his head bobs like a bobblehead whenever he moves. Either way, he looks pretty good for a geeky stork. Finally, it’s Nate’s turn to reveal his new look, and Cecille isn’t the only beauty who’s looking forward to seeing him. It seems like Jennylee has a crush on the Nate-meister, and she can’t wait to see her sweetie. First he throws one leg through the curtain, then the next, just building the suspense before he reveals his new face and hairdo. Finally he parted the curtain and showed off his new clean shaven look and short haircut. It’s hard to tell if this is the same guy…no one recognizes him without the beard and uncontrollable mane. Yes, it’s Nate, Jennylee, you can pick your jaw up off of the floor.
Now that the geeks have revealed their new looks, Mike grabs the opportunity to inform the beauties what their challenge is…and it sounds pretty fun. The girls, with their new found marketing skills, are going to get to market their new look geek to a group of girls at a charity date auction! Whichever geek and beauty get the highest bid will win immunity and the right to pick both teams for possible elimination.
Every Geek Needs A Charity Date
Time’s a wastin’! The beauties all need to come up with a presentation and coach their geek in selling himself so they can get high bids for the dates. Andrea is working extra hard, since her and Matt must win this challenge. She literally molded his smile with her fingers, and told him to get used to that particular smile. Then she tried to teach him a few tricks in anticipation by having him start to lift his shirt as if he was taking it off, and then covering back up, wagging his finger and saying “no, no!” Stork boy tried to pull the move off, but was just too awkward to feel sexy. Elsewhere, the other beauties were listing the best qualities of their geek and teaching them how to work the room for maximum profit. And then there’s Nate, the guy who has never used deodorant before. Since he’ll be going on a date at the end of the night, he figured he should probably smell nice for his buyer, so he asks Drew if he can borrow his deodorant stick! Ok…EWWWW!! Yeah, you can just keep that stick, Natedog.
At the charity auction, Host-whose-name-I-can’t-remember introduced the idea behind the auction, and noted that an additional $5,000 would be donated to whatever charity it is that they were doing this for. Without further ado, he brought out Mario and Nadia, who started pimping her partner. Now, this is my favorite coupling on the show, hands down. Nadia is the most down to earth girl in the mansion, and Mario is just a shy but lovable geek. I think they work well together. Mario struts his stuff, but only gets a high bid of $10. Next on the runway is Scooter, but with what Megan was wearing, you’d think it was her working the corner. Did I say that outloud?? Scooter mostly just stood there, until the bids started flying. Then he showed off his athleticism by doing pushups in the middle of the stage. He sold for $15. Andrea and Matt came out next, and Andrea’s spiel included the fact that Matt was still a virgin! That garnered a bunch of catcalls from the audience, and the bidding started pretty wild. Matt tried to pull off some sexy moves, but if you’ve seen it before, you know what I’m going to say. Stork. Period. He gets $15. Drew was next to strut out on the runway, and really, he didn’t do much other than take his jacket off…but he sold for a bid of $22 to take the lead. The penultimate strutting geek was Nate. Now, Cecille wrote a little 3rd grade poem to help sell her partner, mostly words that rhymed with Nate…like date, and late, and great. Yeah, it wasn’t her prose that sold Nate, it was Nate that sold Nate. He jumped around the stage, did some pelvic thrusting pushups, and generally showed that he is a fun guy. He was won for $29. Finally, it was Niels turn to Tra La La onto the stage. Jennylee didn’t even have anything to say as a sales pitch, she just had him show off his bellybutton and run his finger up his chest. Niels pulled off the nonchalant schtick perfectly, but ended up begging for his final bid of $33. Niels and Jennylee won the challenge!
The Most Awkward Dates EVER!
After the charity auction, the geeks had to fulfill their obligation and go out on their charity dates. All I can say about these dates is *high sing song voice* Awkward! Niels couldn’t even remember his dates name, Scooter’s bland interview about the meaning of the word “date” was more interesting than his actual date, and Drew had to struggle to not tell his date he likes Star Trek. Mario was the only geek that seemed to have a really good time, and I think it was because his date was actually into him! Get her phone number, man! He ended up feeding some dessert to her…not with his fingers, though. Man, I’m glad I don’t have to date anymore.
Face Off For Elimination
Ok, does anyone have any doubt that Matt and Andrea are going to be put up for elimination? So the real question is who will go up against them? Before the stair ceremony, Niels and Jennylee discussed the nominations. At first the discussion was civil and very straightforward…Jennylee was going to put up Matt and Andrea…and Niels had to pick a team on his own. Only after Niels told her his plan to put up Cecille and Nate did Jennylee turn into a ranting lunatic. She didn’t tell Niels as much, but her crush on Nate was really making her upset at the prospect of him possibly going home. Niels tried to reason with her, but Jennylee was having none of it, and went into the closet until she had to stand next to Niels at the ceremony. Act like a bratty princess much, Jennylee?? Anyway, once they had the nomination ceremony, Jennylee gladly nominated Matt and Andrea, and Niels tearfully nominated his good friends Nate and Cecille.
After the ceremony is when things heated up. Andrea confronted Jennylee about the nomination, and Jennylee’s reasoning behind it. Jennylee told her outright that Andrea has hard time in the house, a hard time getting along with everyone. Andrea thinks the only reason the nominations were hard on Jennylee is due to the fact that her crush, Nate, might end up going home. Either way, Andrea hopes the cliquishness can die down a little, and that the beauties can actually spend some time getting to know their geeks, instead of treating the show as a giant party.
Later in the evening, the two nominated couples met up with Mike in the library for the elimination round. As always, ladies go first, and Andrea picks first. Her question: “A billboard represents what kind of advertising?” She doesn’t know, and answers incorrectly with “informational.” It’s actually outdoor advertising, but from the disbelief from the other teams, it doesn’t sound like this was in any of the study materials. Cecille’s question describes a focus group to her and asks what kind of research it is. Suprisingly, the ditzy blond answers correctly and takes the lead. Next, Andrea is asked which retailers slogan is “expect more, pay less?” You’d think a girl would know that it’s Target, but Andrea must not shop there, and she answers incorrectly. Cecille’s final question is junk email is commonly referred to as what? Cecille surprises me again and answers correctly with “spam.” Cecille and Nate lead 2-0, and Nate can keep his team in the mansion by answering his first question correctly. He is asked to identify a rapper from a picture, and from the fact that he founded Rokawear. Without hesitation Nate answers “Jay Z” and keeps his hopes for $250,000 alive.
So that’s it for the last of the brunette girls. The blondes have won, and the brunettes are all out of the mansion. Matt and Andrea awkwardly talk about each other and how they have changed since they came in to the mansion. Of course, Matt had to give her one final stork hug before they left. Be sure to tune in next week when the truly ugly Cecille shows up when the crew heads to the beach.
Cool it, Matt…we were all awkward at some point. I often trip over nothing but air. firstname.lastname@example.org