Welcome back to Beauty and the Geek 2 for this season’s final goodbye—or should I say hello, since whichever team wins tonight will be saying hello to $250,000. That’s right, it’s the final showdown, Josh and Cher vs. Joe and Brittany. At one point in this episode, Joe compares this showdown as good vs. evil, Darth Vader vs. Luke. More to the point I would say it’s Darth Vader and the Emperor vs. Luke and Leia. Ya gotta think teams here, Joe. So Darth Vader is Josh, because he was kinda tricked into an alliance with the supremely evil Cher, er, I mean, Emperor. Hopefully Luke—oops, I mean Joe, can invoke enough of The Force to help him and Brittany. Not that I think Cher is really that evil, but it is obvious that she wasn’t the typical brainless beauty like the rest of the Beauties…it’s almost like she is a ringer. And she has been clear about her motives from the beginning—she’s a vain moneygrubber who is only interested in some easy money—and Wes’ monkey laser.
Welcome Back, Kotter
As always, the “safe” couples—ok, in this case couple—are waiting upstairs for the victorious team to come back. Josh and Cher are both hoping the returning team will be Jen and Ankur, simply because they think they will then have a cake walk to the $250,000. Unfortunately for them, Joe and Brittany open the door and greet them with smiles worthy of the final 2 couples. They are really the only team that could challenge Josh and Cher in my opinion. Josh is as nervous as, well Josh in the hot tub…which he finally does when he realizes he’s only showing his scrawny white ass to 3 other people. Yes, Josh finally gets in the hot tub with Cher and the other team. Everyone is so proud of their little Josh-y.
Gettin’ To Know You…Redux
The next morning comes, and it is sinking in to each player just where they stand…at a 50% chance of sharing $250,000. It’s pretty humbling to every single player. Mike gathers the two teams in the library to announce what their final study materials will be. Today the two couples will get to learn a little bit more about what makes their partner tick by going and taking part in a hobby each player enjoys. The point is to get to know all of the little ins-and-outs of your partner, so you can answer questions about them for the final challenge round. Both teams take off to start getting to know each other even better than before. Joe shares that he is a Howard Hughes Fellow in computational neuroscience!! Whoa!! Ok, what exactly does that mean, really? He does math equations about neurology all day? Yeah, Joe is a geek!! And one who’s a lot smarter than this geek! Cher, on the other hand, is sharing where she is from with Josh. Where she was born, the small neighborhood where she grew up, the place she put her first make up on…that kinda stuff.
For his hobby, Josh chooses to take Cher fly fishing. He grew up in Michigan around a lot of lakes and streams, so he likes to fly fish. Cher of course turns the whole event into a fashion contest, and has to make her fishing vest look the cutest, even though the hip waders are doing nothing for her at all. Josh shows the patience of a fisherman , and eventually gets Cher to understand the 10 o’clock/2 o’clock motion of casting when you fly fish.
Joe takes Brittany to one of his favorite things to play…giant beach chess. No, really, Joe is some kind of champion chess player, and he wants to show her how to play and also make it interesting for us, the viewers, so they head down to the beach where there is a conveniently set up giant chess board. Joe tries to teach Brittany how to play chess, but Joe is really the kind of guy that can’t teach. He knows how to play the game like a master, but ask him to explain it to someone who has never played before and he just can’t deliver. Eventually he explains it as battle, and Brittany seems to pick up the game. Even though Joe still took her in 3 moves. Afterwards, Joe decides to show off a little more by playing some speed chess with a nearby beach local. He gets himself into a corner, but then he pounces and has a checkmate. Brittany is pretty impressed with his geek battle skills.
Brittany’s hobby is ice skating, so she takes Joe to ice rink for the afternoon. She’s not that good at it, but it’s what she enjoyed when she was growing up, so they’ll skate. Joe has skated before, but it has been a long time, so he’s nervous he’ll fall down a lot. He wouldn’t want to do that in front of the girl he’s crushing on. He does alright…not graceful, but he accomplished his mission…and Brittany stumbles little, and mostly helps Joe stay on his feet. All in all, it’s a pretty good day for Joe when Brittany touches him at least once.
Cher has decided to open a sushi restaurant in the mansion kitchen for dinner as her task. The crew has laid out an already prepped assortment of sushi roll makings, and these guys are going to roll their own rolls. Josh doesn’t think there are any Jewish sushi chefs, so perhaps he is breaking down some barriers. They make a bunch of different rolls, with Josh making rolls resembling blobs more than anything sushi like. He suggests that if they win, they should open the Beauty and the Geek Sushi House.
The day of reckoning is here. Last night was the last night in the house for these two couples, and after tonight, they might never see each other again. While James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” plays in the background, each beauty and each geek reflects on their time in the mansion. They all feel that they have grown in a big way, but Cher still just wants the money. To Brittany, the real special thing is that each of them got to meet 13 other people that they will all remember for the rest of their lives. How true.
Let’s Get It On!!!
The teams are both ready for the final question round. They are prepared for battle, and every minute they have been talking has all been building up to this. Joe says this is the Superbowl of Superbowls, and Joe Montana comes running in to say that that’s probably enough with the lame uses of football references in non-football related areas. But it’s big…at least for these couples. They gather in the challenge room and Mike greets them for the final time. They may think they know how the last round will be played, but there is a twist. It’s different!! I’m so shocked at this unexpected twist, I had to go to the bathroom before the commercial came back! Unlike last year, when players were tested on their knowledge of each other, this year they will be tested on how their partner thinks. Is that really as big of a difference? Basically, this time will be more like “The Newlywed Game”, where the guys(and vice versa for the ladies) will be asked for their answers to certain questions, and then the girls come back and try to answer the same questions the same way their partner did. Swell.
For some reason, they are not even going to be asking each person the same question to answer. Each team will be answering different questions? How is that fair? The beauties move into sequester where they cannot hear their geeks, and the guys answer some questions
Joe: Most embarrassing moment? Naked during the poker challenge
Josh: First word in his head after seeing Cher? Nauseous
Joe: If you could date anyone in the mansion who would it be? Amanda
Josh: What’s the one secret only you and your partner know: How big Wes’s penis is
Joe: What challenge taught you the most? Photo Shoot
Josh: What is your greatest fear? Driving in car with a beautiful woman.
Those are the questions for the guys. The girls return from sequester, and it is time for them to see if they can answer exactly the same as their geeks. Brittany is asked Joe’s first question, and she answers incorrectly by saying it was probably walking through the curtain on the first day. Cher answers “Vivacious” to Josh’s head word, and is shocked and humiliated by Josh’s nauseous answer. He calms her by telling her that it was his stomach nauseous from nervousness. Brittany tries to answer Joe’s second question, and thinks Joe had the hots for Sarah. She was the prettiest girl there, so perhaps she was only guessing. Cher tries again, and seems to have forgotten that she told Josh how big Wes’ equipment was, and is again shocked to find out what Josh answered. Brittany finally gets to the end, and thinks Joe learned the most on the Speed Dating challenge. She’s probably right, but Joe was thinking of the challenge that he enjoyed the most instead. Still 0-0, and Cher has one more shot at guessing correctly. She isn’t sure if Josh’s greatest fear is driving in cars, or being around beautiful women, and if she had only combined the two fears, she would have been right. So now it’s the guys turn to be sequestered.
The boys head across to sequester, and Mike starts asking the questions
Brittany: What is the biggest difference in Joe? His short hair
Cher: If you could have any job, what is it? Doctor
Brittany: Which challenge did you learn the most from? Map challenge
Cher: What is your greatest fear? Failure
Brittany: If you could have done one thing differently, what would it be? Get up and work out every morning
Cher: If you could have chosen any other player besides Josh, who would it be? Duh…this is a gimme question. Wes, of course.
Mike brings the boys back from sequester, and they take their shots at answering the same as their beauties. First, Joe makes the first match by saying it is probably his hair. Josh comes right back and knows that Cher most wants to be a doctor in life. The geeks really seem to know a lot more about their ladies! Joe thinks Brittany probably learned the most at the poker challenge, and he is wrong. Josh also answers incorrectly by saying Cher’s greatest fear is that of rejection. It’s tied for the final 2 questions! Joe thinks this question is a hard one, and he thinks long and hard about it…and he gets it right! He must have been listening when she grumbled about not working out every morning. If Josh answers incorrectly, they lose…but it’s the gimme question. Josh knows the answer before Mike is even done reading the question, and it is time for a tie breaker.
Okay, now they are asking common questions…first to the girls, then to the guys. The girls are first asked “Out of all of the players in the mansion, who changed the most?” Both girls answer Josh, and when Josh and Joe come back in, they both agree with the ladies, and we need a second tie breaker. This time, the guys are answering first. They are asked “If there is one thing you could change about your partner, what would it be?” Josh answers “More confidence”, and Joe almost answers the same thing, but changes it at the last minute to “Her innocence.” And Joe is just the man to do it! Uh huh! High five! Anyway… Mike bring the girls back in, and Cher thinks about the question, and eventually answers “Confidence.” She is correct! Now Brittany must answer correctly to stay in the game. She thinks about it for a second…but Cher’s answer is so fresh in her mind that she too says “confidence”, and gets the answer wrong. Josh and Cher have won the prize!
Joe is visibly shaken. And I’m sure he feels terrible for Brittany most, because she was the one that ended it. He looks like it is all he can do to keep from sobbing right there in front of everybody. Josh, on the other hand, is nervous with joy. I think he might be nervous about how to make the most out of his winnings. They all share a celebratory handshake, and Joe runs off to weep.
Josh tremendously thankful for the experience, even if he hadn’t won in the end. His confidence is boosted, and he is leaving the mansion a different person. At first he felt like Clark Kent without his superpowers, and now he feels like Superman. I gotta get me some of that!
Brittany is disappointed that they didn’t win the money, but that isn’t why she was here. She feels that they all helped each other to learn and to grow, and that is a good enough prize for her.
Joe is heartbroken. He has barely pulled himself together for his final interview, but you can tell that not only was his heart broken by not winning the cash, but also because he let his huge crush Brittany down. He feels thankful for the experience, and would actually have paid for the lessons and experiences in the mansion.
Cher…ahh, Cher. They give Cher the last word. She is going to go back to school now, and live her life everyday. She thinks she is leaving the show a better person, if not a wealthier one.
So there you have it, another season of Beauty and the Geek in the books. A few “villains”, and a few “heroes”, but all in all a good group of kids trying to help each other out and make a few dollars in the end. I don’t know if they are doing a reunion episode or not…this years cast doesn’t seem to lend itself to the format like last years did. I mean, come on, Richard vs. Chuck made for great TV. Heck, Richard made for great TV himself.
See y’all next time! firstname.lastname@example.org