Hello again! It’s me, mrdobolina, here as your geek liason on a melding of two worlds…the geeky and the pretty. You know you are a geek when, as you’re driving a U-Haul truck from New Mexico to Denver and your blind spot mirror continues to fall out of position because of heavy winds, you keep saying out loud “R2, that mirror has come loose again, see if you can’t lock it down.” Yeah, that was me this weekend as I moved my beauty of a fiance to Denver to come live with me. Don’t worry, though. She’s a not your typical brainless beauty…she’s one of the smartest people I know.
In case you missed it last week, Chris pissed everyone off and got them all eager to oust him from the game, even if it meant Tristan went packing with him. When neither Chris nor Tristan won their respective challenges, they were put on the chopping block to fend for their proverbial lives against Brandon and Amanda who everyone hoped would win the face off and send Chris home with a shirt that says “I put the eek in Geek.” Alas, it was not to be as Brandon was unable to match Chris’ dumb luck with pop music questions. Amanda and Brandon were the first couple to leave the mansion.
Everyone Hates Chris
We join our beauties and geeks in the mansion as they await the victors of the first showdown. Everyone is hoping that Brandon and Amanda will walk through the door—the plan was to get rid of them. Lo and behold, Tristan walks through the door first, followed by Chris. Yes, most everybody was happy to see Tristan, but their glee was short lived, since Chris was with her. Almost immediately, Cher, who had picked Brandon and Amanda to go against Tris and Chris while making a point to say outloud that she hoped B&A would beat them silly, pulls the winning couple aside to explain her feelings. Tristan seems shocked that someone would want her out. Well, don’t forget you are on a team with a geek that has been treating everyone else as if they were monkey feces, sister. They hate Chris, not Tristan. Cher tries to explain her way out of this paper bag, but even with her new debate skills, she still sounds like a back stabbing bimbo.
It’s time to hang out with the nameless host(I did find out what his name was, but he’s such a nobody, I forgot it 5 minutes later) for a little while and find out what each group will be challenged with this week. Typically, when beauties enter a room, they notice things such as the interior design, and the colors on the walls. Geek, on the other hand, notice the TV or the computer and all of its features. Yep, the first thing I see is the TV, how big it is, is it high definition, etc. If you need any reassurance of that, just see my signature line. Anyway, this week, the geeks are going to have to learn about interior design and design a bedroom that is appealing to the beauties. The ladies will learn how to set up a computer and download things. Couldn’t be easier, could it? Not for these geeks and beauties.
Butthead Is In The House
Right away all of the teams get to teaching each other about their respective tasks. Karl, who has been channeling Butthead the entire time he has been at the mansion, tries to teach Danielle about male vs. female connectors. You see, Danielle, a male connector, uh huh huh huh huh, has pins that stick out, uh huh huh huh huh, you know, like, uh huh huh, a male. They plug into sockets that accept things that stick out, uh huh huh huh, like a female would. Uh, yeah. Danielle=not the sharpest knife in the drawer. On other teams, the girls seem pretty sure about computers, so they focus on teaching their geek about interior design. Josh admits that the last time he decorated a room was, well, never. This oughta be good! He runs around the mansion with Cher as she tries to impress upon him the importance of color and matching said colors.
Flagrant Bed, Bath and Beyond Plug
Host Mike(Yes! Thanks for reminding me Thais!) comes into the house unannounced to steal the geeks away for a little field trip. It seems that the guys will be going to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for a bedroom decorating shopping spree. When the beauties find out that the geeks will be gone over night, they all start whooping and hollering, since some of them think that they might get some hunks to keep them company. Only Jennipher realizes that the boys are still nearby, and saves everyone’s ass by yelling “No, the real men just left.” Nice save, Jen. The geeks will have $1,500 to shop with at BBaB, and they will have to pick out everything they need to decorate a room. They will then decorate said room, and the girls will come in the next day to judge, not knowing who decorated which room.
And they are off! Most of the guys have no clue how they are going to decorate a bedroom. Josh, in his typical Woody Allen fashion, is totally convinced this will end in disaster. Great attitude…you’re sure to win with that one. Others know exactly what they are looking for…candles, pillows, and duvets…even if they can’t pronounce duvet. I imagine Tyson was looking for colors to match his Rubik’s Cubes.
Once the shopping is over, it is time for the geeks to set up and decorate their rooms. Apparently being a geek also means that you don’t know how to use tools, too. Not this geek! The guys stumble around their respective rooms and hammer their fingers instead of the nails into the walls. Josh and Chris can’t figure out how to load a staple gun, and it is apparent that Josh should have foregone the stapler altogether when he STAPLES a large Teddy Bear to the wall! Josh! Please! Soon enough, all of the rooms are done. Tyson’s room looks nice…an extension of his minimalist lifestyle. Joe, who ran around so much he’s sweating like Star Jones after a walk up a flight of stairs is also pretty happy with how his room turned out. Josh’s room is done up in a childlike fashion, since he doesn’t think he’ll ever have kids the way his life is going now. And then there is Wes. Remember the previews last week? Yeah, it was Wes who, in the last seconds of decorating, decided to write fingerpaint style on his dark green walls with red paint. His room looks like it is right out of “The Shining”. Creepy and rustic.
The girls are brought in to judge the rooms. They pick apart all of the minor details, but really are looking for an overall feel. You know Wes’s room was trashed…the blood on the wall was just too creepy. Josh’s room too. Everyone was freaked out by the bear stapled to the wall. But some rooms the girls really liked. Joe’s room, with chocolates laid out all over the bed was a top contender, and Tyson and Karl also had nice looking ensembles. Eventually, the geeks are brought back in, and they guide their respective beauties to their rooms. Some freak, while some, like Thais, are very proud of their partners work.
In the end, there is a tie between Karl and Joe. These geeks can decorate! Since there was a tie, the decision is going to be made by whoever got the most first place votes. The winner is….Joe! Although I personally thought Karl’s room was more appealing, I think Joe won because his room was more appealing to women. Joe, you will make some woman very proud someday.
The Great Hook Up
Right after the room judging, it’s time for the women to show off everything they have learned about computers. There is a box in each room with a computer. The beauties will have to set up the computer, download a song, burn the song to a CD, and play the CD on the CD player that is already in each box. They can ask their geek 2 yes or no questions while they set up. Mike gives the signal, and all of the ladies are hustling to set up their systems. All of the ladies at least know the monitors from the computer towers, but most of them have no idea which cord plugs in where. I’m watching them fumble around and I can’t believe they can’t match the colors up. These systems all have the color coded plugs and sockets! Green goes to green, purple to purple. Didn’t they learn anything in kindergarten? Eventually, Cher and Tristan are both powered up and trying to establish an internet link. Cher pulls ahead, and Tristan knows she has to win or her and Chris will be on the chopping block again. Finally Cher has her song ripped to a CD, and she puts it in the player. Will it play? Yes! Cher wins the challenge. Josh is so proud of her, and even though Cher hated his bedroom design, they both jump up and down on the bed with glee.
The Storm Before The Calm
So who do you think Cher and Josh are going to choose to go on the block? Hmmm….
While they discuss their strategy for the nights showdown choice, Cher harps on Josh about the fact that she teaches him lots of stuff, but he can only remember to use one of the many tips she gives him. Is Cher the beauty version of Chris? Anyway, while they bicker back and forth, our good friend Mr. Foreshadowing steps into the room in the form of Tristan. She asks Cher and Josh if they know the name of the guy who is on ABC’s “Extreme Home Makeover.” She knows his first name is Ty, and Josh tells her his last name is Pennington. Cher is incredulous that Josh gave that team any information at all. He tells us that he doesn’t really care, and that eventually, Cher is going to have to be told off since she really is kind of turning into the female Chris.
Over in Joe and Brittany’s room, the couple is also talking about who they want to see on the block. I am really starting to like Joe, since he seems like the guy with the most level head in the whole house. Plus, Joe and Brittany really seem to get along together, and they make a cute couple. Joe knows that Cher may change her mind about putting up Tristan and Chris, because Cher has been observing who has been studying and who has not. Santa Claus has nothing on Cher. Soon Josh and Cher join J&B in their room, and Josh points out that some, like Wes, don’t really need to be in the house. Joe is worried that they will emulate Wes, and do the wrong thing by writing in red paint on the wall at the last second. Either way, it’s going to be a last minute decision as to who goes on the block.
New Teams On The Block?
Soon, all of the teams gather on the stairway, and Mike asks Joe for his choice of team for the challenge. Joe doesn’t hesitate and immediately chooses Chris and Tristan for another go round in the geek battle arena. Next it is Cher’s turn to choose. She has a lot of trouble choosing one of the teams, since she is friends with and respects all of them. She can’t even get the names out she is so shaken, so Josh finishes the job and tells Thais and Tyson that they will be up for the challenge.
Tristan is very upset about being on the block again. She knows Cher has it in for her. Chris thinks Tristan is handling being on the block much better this time. Because, you know, she’s not crying so Chris can really respect that. He is really glad she didn’t cry. Am I the only one that hopes Chris sobs like a widow when(if) he ever gets eliminated?
Both teams gather in the study(or is it the foyer?) for the showdown. As always, the ladies will go first, and will have to answer questions about computers. Tristan chooses first, and her question asks what the name of the main circuit board on a computer is? She answers correctly with Motherboard. Thais picks a question, and cannot recall that the primary device for storage of data on a computer is the harddrive. She thinks it’s the RAM, which is a really good guess. Tristan knows that DVD stands for Digital Versatile Disk(or an acceptable answer is Digital Video Disk), and she now leads 2-0. Thais next question is “The CC in an email’s address line stands for what?” Well, she is young and probably never even saw a carbon copy before, and answers certified contact. She is incorrect. Tristan’s final question is “what does the ‘E’ in email stand for?” Well, duh! Even a 105 year old who has been in a cave for the past 20 years could tell you it is Electronic. Finally, Thais is shown a picture of Bill Gates, and asked what company he founded. She correctly answers, and the score is 3-1.
Now it’s the geeks turn. Chris sends Tristan off with a giant hug, secure in the knowledge that he has a giant lead. For his first question, he is given a list of names and asked which one is NOT a famous designer. He correctly chooses Kristen Cavalieri(probably spelled completely incorrectly). Tyson must answer correctly to stay in the game. His question is “The measure of threads per square inch in a fabric is referred to as what?” He answers correctly with “thread count.” Now it is up to Chris. If he can answer correctly, his team will have built an insurmountable lead. He is asked about a type of pattern that derived it’s name from a fish skeleton. He is clueless, and it sounds like his answer might be a made up name kinda like Fletch does in the movie “Fletch”…Mr. Sinfrangenson. Tyson must answer correctly to stay alive. He is asked for the word used to define a color scheme with just one color. He again answers correctly with monochromatic. The score is 4-3, and Chris can win if he answers correctly. Remember when our friend Mr. Foreshadowing visited? Yep, you guessed it, Chris is shown a picture of the famous Mr. Ty Pennington and asked to identify him. He doesn’t even miss a beat and answers correctly. Unfortunately, Thais and Tyson must leave the mansion, and Chris gets to stick around.
A Puzzle Unsolved
Tyson is really glad he got to experience the mansion and all of the lessons in social life that Thais taught him. Unfortunately his Rubik’s Cube skills weren’t enough to keep him in the game longer. They will, however, get him some public appearance fees now and in the future. I think he has already done a few shows to showcase his mad cube skills. Thais is also happier for the experience. She is glad to have made some new friends and learned some new skills.
Well, that’s it. Chris is still in the house, and Tristan isn’t crying…for now. Be sure to tune in next week when the geeks get made over by the beauties, and Chris pisses Tristan off by inferring she is not smart, and Tristan drives him bonkers by crying about that to his face.
Artoo, that guy Chris has broken loose again, see if you can’t lock him down: firstname.lastname@example.org