Welcome back to Beauty and the Geek Season 2! The season is already unfolding in unexpected ways, and I am happy to know that there isn’t an over-the-top fame whore like Richard was last season. Instead, this season we have Chris, one of the worst types of geeks on the planet—one whose self importance, cockiness, and supposedly “cut” body and superior social knowledge(that would seem to disqualify him as a true “geek”), have him playing the game from minute one. Yeah, he still has thicker eyebrows than John Madden, that face, and the whiniest voice this side of Flo from TAR 3, but Chris is here to play the game, changes for the better be damned!
Last week on B&tG2, besides getting to meet all of the geeks and beauties, the teams were formed, and the first challenge was contested. Chris and Amanda won(exposing Chris’s only reason for applying in the first place-greed), and were awarded the choice to change two teams up, or leave well enough alone. After a demoralizing group interview in the living room, Chris and Amanda revealed the first team that they were going to change up….Themselves!
Who’s Comin’ With Me?
After the other 7 teams were shocked into silence by Chris and Amanda’s announcement, all of the beauties wait with teeth clenched to find out who is going to be cursed with being Chris’s teammate. He just doesn’t realize that he has now become the booby prize, the prize in the grab bag that nobody wants. Finally, Chris cuts Amanda off and tells everyone that they are switching partners with Tristan and Brandon. Tristan cries, bummed that she won’t get to form and mold Brandon into her perfect man. Later up in “their” bedroom, Chris reveals that he picked Tristan because she seemed to have the best education. He wants to win, and he thought that together they could go far. He’s totally overlooking the fact that it’s him everyone wants out sooner than later. Amanda is just glad to be away from Chris.
As Chris and Tristan are talking, she tells him that he doesn’t need to be a jerk. It finally sinks through Chris’s thick hair and into his skull that he might be disliked. He takes it upon himself to be the bigger geek, and go outside and apologize. He perches himself awkwardly on the edge of the hot tub while the rest of the beauties and geeks throw insults back at him. I don’t know if it gained Chris any brownie points with the others, but I’m sure it felt good for them to do it.
Let’s Get Our Study On!
So it’s finally time for the “official” first challenge. Yeah, the producers don’t really consider the opening trivia contest a challenge. Think of it as more of a tool to get the game player to show his hand early. You go get ‘em Chris! Anyway, the nameless host (seriously, what IS this guys name? Have they ever revealed that? Am I DEAF?) gathers the teams in the living room, and sets them up for their challenges. The guys are all reminded of how hard it is to get up in front of people and give a speech. Luckily for them, they don’t have to give a speech in front of large group of people. No…they have to SING! Yes, the geeks will be singing karaoke style. Perhaps Karl will even bust out some sweet dance moves Napolean Dynamite style. The girls won’t get off easy either, for the ladies are going to have to give a speech…politics style. That’s right, these beauties are going to have to come up with a position on political/activist issues and try to talk eloquently. Prepare to slap your forehead repeatedly!
All of the teams retire upstairs to study up on current events and the intricacies of politics, or learn a song and some sort of tonal control. Can I just say right now that not one of these guys has a voice? I would rather hear 10 alley cats screeching and hissing inside a hollow metal culvert right next to my bedroom window for an hour than to have to listen to these guys again. Josh is so scared he can’t keep his place on the lyrics sheet. But he has the right attitude. You must tackle the things that terrify you to grow. Tyson, on the other hand, just doesn’t want to be compared to William Hung. Meh, there’s worse things…like being one of the people that bought his album because they think he has talent.
Oh God! They’re going to sing again! Nooooo! It was hard to watch, and even harder to hear, but the guys did all get their butts up on stage to sing. The “arena” was full. By arena I mean an area that looks like it might have a skateboard half-pipe when it’s not being used by a cheesy reality show as an “arena.” There are 100 people there…200 tops. I’m thinking they’re all extras that were rejected for a spot on a Smallville episode. Anyway, Josh is first, and he starts singing “Hot Blooded” before the music even starts. He eventually gets his stage legs and does a pretty good job of using his nervous dorkiness to his advantage. Next is Chris, and he’s singing “Hot Blooded” too. I guess one guy went with it, and no one else knew any other good pop songs, so they just sang along. I could go through all of the guys here, but mostly it was a montage of their best moments, and actually screechingly boring. Tyson, though, really played to the audience. While the guitar solo played, he solved a Rubik’s Cube with lightning fast dexterity. The crowd loved it, and 73% of the people voted for him. Tyson and Thais have won safety from elimination, and the chance to put up one team for elimination.
Over at the WB Junior High auditorium, a completely different audience (this one likely extras rejected from [i]Gilmore Girls[.i]), is waiting to judge the girls’ speeches. Each beauty will pick a number between 1 and 4, and will have to give a short speech on the topic that is written on that number’s card. Danielle is first, and she has to give her view on lower or higher taxes. She hems and haws through her position on taxes, and eventually just fades into a rant on how she thought if she looked smart, she might actually be smart. Actually, just about every girl took their slowly pitched softball question and incorporated what little they know about the issue and turned it into a monologue about some other non-issue. Everyone…except for Cher. Cher was the only beauty who spoke from experience(about Medicare) and offered a supported point of view. Cher and Josh win the ability to choose a team for possible elimination.
Toga! Toga!! Toga!!!
Back at the mansion, the producers have set the beauties and geeks up with champagne in the library. Seriously guys, it hasn’t been that uneventful so far has it? Soon the champagne is flowing, the ties are being loosened, and chants of “Toga! Toga!” are filling the air. Everyone dons a toga…some looking much nicer than others. There are 8 beautiful women, plenty of champagne, girls wanting to play “Truth or Dare”, and everyone is dressed in bedsheets and what do the geeks want to do? That’s right…a walk off. A fashion show. A contest to see who has the nicest toga and the best moves after they all had to sing on stage in front of people. Danielle is in disbelief, but Jennipher sums it all up nicely by telling us how it’s nice that these guys aren’t all over them like most young guys would be. Admit it young guys…you’d be trying to get between the ladies and their sheets, wouldn’t you?
Play The Game, And You’ll Play The Game
The next day, everyone studies hard for their possible questions that night. Everyone except of course the members of the two winning teams. Well, I’d bet that Tyson was still studying…just in case his Rubik’s Cube skills somehow can’t save him. Soon all of the possible nominees are standing on the stairs to await Thais and Tyson’s and Josh and Cher’s decisions. Tyson speaks first, and since he has been playing the game from the get go and not enjoying the experience for what it is, he nominates Chris and Tristan. Tristan feigns being shocked, but you can kinda tell she was expecting it. Cher gets to choose next, and since they want to eliminate Chris, she wants to pick a team that she thinks is strong. She picks Amanda and Brandon. Well, whaddya know…the two teams that switched at the beginning are going head to head!
Tristan is stressed waaaay out! She is crying on Chris’ shoulder because she thinks they will be eliminated and not get to come back. Chris, in a side interview, tells everyone how “some girls are big time criers…You can’t take them to Disney movies or anything.” Nice Chris. You stand a huge chance of winning a woman’s heart with that thinking. Good luck!
Tristan and Chris and Brandon and Amanda meet the host-looking guy by the stairs for their explicit instructions. The girls will go first and answer questions about politics and current events, while Brandon and Chris watch from another room and wait to answer question about pop music.
First question to Tristan, and she can’t pull the address of the White House (1600 Pennsylvania Ave). Amanda picks the next question, and knows what the ozone layer is. Tristan has no idea who is on the $10 bill. No sweat Tristan…I didn’t know either. (It’s Alexander Hamilton) Next, Amanda is shown a picture of the Pentagon and told what is housed there. She recognizes the building as the Pentagon. Tristan’s final question is “who was the last democratic President?” Thankfully she knows who Bill Clinton is. Amanda’s final question is “What is the capital of Iraq?” Amanda has no clue, but asks for a spelling of “Iraq” just to be sure she has no clue. She answers “Afghanistan” and is completely wrong. Amanda gets a lead though, so she and Brandon lead 2-1. The girls head over to the other room, and Tristan is pissed off that the White House even has an address. It is the White House after all.
Chris and Brandon are ready to answer questions on pop rock. Chris goes first, and he knows that Jamie Foxx is featured on Kanye West’s album. Brandon is next, and he saw the episode of Saturday Night Live where Ashley Simpson was busted lip synching and answers with her name. Chris is asked for the name of Gwen Stefani’s clothing company. He knows that it has a lamb as the symbol, and he guesses simply “Lamb.” He is correct. Next Brandon is asked to name 2 of the three members of “Destiny’s Child.” I ask you, “Who cares?” He is only able to name one, and misses the point. Chris’ final question is about Nick Lachey’s former band. He pulls 98 Degrees out of nowhere, and Chris and Tristan take their first lead of the game. Tristan is pumped! Finally, it’s all up to Brandon. He must answer the last question correctly to force a tie breaker. “Name R&B artist who won the 2005 Grammy for best contemporary R&B album?” He thinks long and hard, but is unable to come up with Usher.
Unfortunately, Chris and (well, not so unfortunate in this case…I like her) Tristan win the game, and get to stay on at the mansion. Brandon and Amanda reflect on each other in their post elimination interviews, and glow about each other to the cameras. Brandon and Amanda, we hardly knew thee!
Tune in next week for “Geeks Gone Decoratin’ “ where someone writes on a wall in blood, and thinks it’s stylish! I can’t wait for that one. Not really.
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