7/22 The Bachelorette 8: FINALE and LIVE ATFR

[AlwaysVeg]

I challenge anyone to find ONE child psychologist or child-rearing expert of any kind who says it's a good idea to raise a child to be dependent -- to completely support her financially (not to mention lavishly) -- well into her 20s and perhaps even beyond, when she is perfectly capable of learning self-supporting skills, with no direction or even encouragement to become a self-sufficient person or independent in her own right. I don't call that being lucky. I call that a shame. And it has nothing to do with anyone who says they had a career and willingly gave it up to be a SAHM. That is not Emily's situation at all, so there is no comparison.

[mesachick]

I just don't think it's up to us to judge how a parent raises their kids, as long as they are not doing anything illegal. If Emily finds fulfillment in having babies pop up for a couple of years, and enjoys being a stay at home mom, then more power to her. I was lucky enough (and yes, lucky enough) to be a stay at home mom and have never had any regrets. I had a great career, took care of myself, and yes quit to be the best mom I knew how, and enjoyed every moment of it. My child is now very successful and I have no regrets.

Exactly.

Striving for a career absolutely does not make one better than someone who doesn't want to and/or doesn't have to. Since when did it become ok to start judging women on how they choose to be happy in life? Didn't we get enough of this crap in high school? I don't see how Emily's father did her any type of disservice, as Emily is doing just fine for pete's sake. That's just plain silly. She is living the life style that she wants. Seems to me her Dad did just fine by her. Not every woman wants the same things out of life. I don't get why this seems to be such a difficult concept. Just because someone doesn't choose the same things that I do, by no means makes me better than them. And believe you me, it could very easily be turned around the other way. I just don't feel that way, nor do I see the point. I live a life that I love, and I hope that everyone else can say the same thing no matter what that means to them (unless they are breaking the law or hurting others obviously). Emily sure can.

[mesachick]

I challenge anyone to find ONE child psychologist or child-rearing expert of any kind who says it's a good idea to raise a child to be dependent -- to completely support her financially (not to mention lavishly) -- well into her 20s and perhaps even beyond, when she is perfectly capable of learning self-supporting skills, with no direction or even encouragement to become a self-sufficient person or independent in her own right. I don't call that being lucky. I call that a shame. And it has nothing to do with anyone who says they had a career and willingly gave it up to be a SAHM. That is not Emily's situation at all, so there is no comparison.

More speculation. Still waiting to see how you know this as fact. She could have a great financial advisor who put the money from Ricky's life insurance to work for her. It's not a shame if Emily is happy and Ricki is well taken care of. Both of which is exactly how it is for them.

Not everyone needs to work for a living, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's just how it is sometimes.

[AlwaysVeg]

I was responding to Emily's own statement, as quoted by another poster, that she is very lucky that her father takes care of her financially. There's no speculation whatsoever in my post.

[AlwaysVeg]

According to poster Rodale in post 268 in this thread, Emily said that in an interview today. That suggests to me it was not in a "rag." I didn't hear the interview and am going by what another poster has said.

[sweetpea]

I challenge anyone to find ONE child psychologist or child-rearing expert of any kind who says it's a good idea to raise a child to be dependent -- to completely support her financially (not to mention lavishly) -- well into her 20s and perhaps even beyond, when she is perfectly capable of learning self-supporting skills, with no direction or even encouragement to become a self-sufficient person or independent in her own right. I don't call that being lucky. I call that a shame. And it has nothing to do with anyone who says they had a career and willingly gave it up to be a SAHM. That is not Emily's situation at all, so there is no comparison.

She had a child at 18 years old. I'm pretty sure she wasn't really expecting or planning that, but it happened. The next few years were devoted to raising that child. As we all know, when you have a child everything changes. They become your focus. Ricki is now of an age that she can be more independent, and we don't know what Emily will do. She may have more children, she may choose to do other things. I think it is a huge leap to suggest we know for fact that Emily's parents raised her specifically to NOT be an independent person. Last time I checked we weren't there when Emily was growing up. Also, last time I checked we aren't flies on her wall day in and day out, so we don't know for fact what her life is really like. I find it interesting how the audience can say one moment that the whole thing is scripted and fake, and then the next moment view the characters the show gives us as 100% indicative of who these people are.

[Jaceegirl]

Love your post. I saw a beautiful romance between Jef and Emily. I'm surprised in how many people did not notice. The looks they shared with each other were priceless. As for the couple not marrying, that can happen to any engaged couple, so I won't feel this was a disaster if they don't marry in the long run. My gut says they will marry. I hope so, but it won't be my business if they don't. I haven't enjoyed a season of this show like this in so long. Loved it. I do believe Jef and Em 'get' each other, and that's all that matters. He is a doll and so is she. Loved the show!!!

I have already posted that I offer both Emily and Jef my best wishes and truly hope that it works for them. It was her decision and her's alone to make. I admit that I was surprised because I really thought it was going to be Arie after Sean was gone. What puzzles me is if she knew quite a long time ago why continue those kisses with Arie that to me looked very different from the ones she had with the other guys. Maybe that is what has thrown some of us off by her choice. I don't know how this show is run and maybe it was production, editing, ect. in order for some of us to think it would be Arie. I also don't know exactly when she knew Jef was the one. It doesn't really matter, because she chose Jef and that is who she is with. I am trying to think of why some of us were so fooled and just throwing something out there as why some of us were fooled.

Again, it was her decision and at the end of the day if the three of them are happy that is what counts.

[Pandora2]

Speaking for myself and only myself, I'm incredibly grateful that I've had to support myself my entire adult life. While there have been times when I would have loved having someone to lean on for financial support, the strength and confidence that can come from being "it" when times are tough can be one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer. And when I think of all the tragic stories of lottery winners, it seems even more important to have a sense of purpose in life beyond having lunch and doing a little volunteer work.

Not to suggest that earning a living is the only way to find that, but I know that I would have gone bonkers if I didn't have to support myself. So if Emily's situation works for her and her daughter, more power to them. I just think I'd rather have battle scars than acrylics. :-)

I actually do see a lot of love & affection between Emily & Jef. Maybe not the hot passion she had with Arie, but there are definitely sparks, IMO. It was interesting on Jimmie Kimmel last night that a couple of times Jef made faces to the camera when Emily wasn't looking -- the one I remember was when Kimmel asked if they'd been spending any time in their own fantasy suite and Emily said no, that they weren't married and of course not (and I couldn't really tell if she wanted people to believe that or not) and Jef made a face to suggest they done a lot of that.

Made me wonder whether they had a little "chat" when watching the show together later...

[bachelorwatcher]

Speaking for myself and only myself, I'm incredibly grateful that I've had to support myself my entire adult life. While there have been times when I would have loved having someone to lean on for financial support, the strength and confidence that can come from being "it" when times are tough can be one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer. And when I think of all the tragic stories of lottery winners, it seems even more important to have a sense of purpose in life beyond having lunch and doing a little volunteer work. Not to suggest that earning a living is the only way to find that, but I know that I would have gone bonkers if I didn't have to support myself. So if Emily's situation works for her and her daughter, more power to them. I just think I'd rather have battle scars than acrylics. :-) I actually do see a lot of love & affection between Emily & Jef. Maybe not the hot passion she had with Arie, but there are definitely sparks, IMO. It was interesting on Jimmie Kimmel last night that a couple of times Jef made faces to the camera when Emily wasn't looking -- the one I remember was when Kimmel asked if they'd been spending any time in their own fantasy suite and Emily said no, that they weren't married and of course not (and I couldn't really tell if she wanted people to believe that or not) and Jef made a face to suggest they done a lot of that. Made me wonder whether they had a little "chat" when watching the show together later...

Someone posted that trust funds can dry up. Also, what if Jef decides to leave Emily? I've never known even one person who was given a house, like Emily was. Jef and Emily seem playful with each other, like middle school pals.

[Cherob]

She had a child at 18 years old. I'm pretty sure she wasn't really expecting or planning that, but it happened. The next few years were devoted to raising that child. As we all know, when you have a child everything changes. They become your focus. Ricki is now of an age that she can be more independent, and we don't know what Emily will do. She may have more children, she may choose to do other things. I think it is a huge leap to suggest we know for fact that Emily's parents raised her specifically to NOT be an independent person. Last time I checked we weren't there when Emily was growing up. Also, last time I checked we aren't flies on her wall day in and day out, so we don't know for fact what her life is really like. I find it interesting how the audience can say one moment that the whole thing is scripted and fake, and then the next moment view the characters the show gives us as 100% indicative of who these people are.

You said exactly what I wanted to say with respect to the fact that Emily had a child before she could get going on any type of career. Who knows what she may have had planned job wise when she finished high school, if she was working when she was dating Ricky . . . but once she had a baby, that was her job!
It is my opinion, with unemployment high, etc. if a person is financially able and does not need to work, then that is great, leave the jobs for those who need them, and those with money can spend their time, and energy volunteering - or creating employment for others!