I have only tuned in for bits and pieces of this show, but what I picked up on is this -
Emily wants financial security - and love. Jef provides the former and comes close to the latter. Plus, he is young and easily moldable. Emily will get him to be what she wants him to be. Even the ATFR was telling...he's moving to Charlotte, the wedding will be in the spring in Charleston, etc. Not much give and take event from the outset.
Sounds awful, I know, but that is just my feeling based on what I've seen and heard.
I think Ashley and JP are the real deal which is very nice to watch!