6/11 The Bachelorette 8: Episode 5 **West Coast Spoilers**

[mesachick]

Really? I thought her response was right in keeping with the behaviour of your average 17 year old. A raging tantrum, a GTFO, and hysterical questioning as to why everyone didn't have her back. A mature woman would understand that many, many people would, and do, view a potential step-child to be baggage (and I guarantee you that more than one of the guys remaining feels exactly the same way), that it's not an insult to the spawn per se, and that perhaps the baggage non-handler is not appropriate partner material, followed by a polite suggestion that a parting of the ways would be mutually beneficial.

Really?? She had a ranging tantrum? Wow LOL That's not even close to raging LOL. You would call a calm conversation with Doug raging? She barely even raised her voice when she spoke to Kalon. She wasn't hysterical either. She didn't scream, shake her fists, jump up and down, or run from the room. She handled the situation straight on. I am a mature woman as well, and yes some people may view a potential step-child as baggage. Yet, had I known that a man felt that way about my son, they no longer would be a candidate for that position. Everyone handles situations differently. I did not see a raging, hysterical woman whatsoever. Obviously Emily is quite aware at how some men may feel towards Ricki which is why she was so sensitive about it in the first place, and why she started to question the other men. Who knows who else may feel that way but doesn't have the balls to say so, or just leave the show if they feel that way. I, Emily, and any other smart woman, would be aware of that possibility and question the men about it, especially if it was thrown in her face the way it was with her.

[AlwaysVeg]

I didn't see that at all. I saw a woman laughing at a man's joke. She was lighting up because of Jeff, not because the name LV was tossed out there. He definitely made her feel better. If Emily is as well off as some seem to believe, I am sure she is quite capable of buying her own purse, if that is, she even is in to them. As for her knowing about vintage LV - don't all women? I own one purse, just one, don't give a hoot about who makes what as long as its good quality and looks good, but I still know about vintage LV. I was just teasing about Jeff btw, and was just trying to make a point. The one point that continues to get lost though, is that Emily is not the one that brought up designer names - Jeff was.

Nope, I don't. Don't know, don't care. If a mother goes ballistic when her child is referred to as baggage (totally understandable), it shouldn't matter if designer names are applied to such baggage. I relaize Jef was trying to lighten up the situation, but to me it would still be inappropriate to compare my child to any "thing," no matter if it's a luxury item.

[sclilred1]

Wasn't Emily's mom on the show already at least once this season so far? Pretty sure I remember her being there. She stayed with Ricki for Emily to go do something connected with the show.

I must be an immature woman as well since I would have responded much harsher than Emily did in that situation. I was a single mom for 3 years, I was very protective with my daughter and still am. I'm now almost 40, have two daughters now and am still very much protective. Screw with me, fine I can deal with it. Screw with one of my kids and you will feel the wrath of a momma bear come down on you full force!

[Midol]

Sorry - Sweetpea - this will be the last post for me about Emmy in this thread - I think she is more mature than other 26 year old women because of what she's been through in her life. Losing her man and finding out she was pregnant only weeks after his death. She had to grow up in a hurry. I don't know anything about her life prior to that. I am assuming that she was well off from the things I have read on this board & maybe she is used to getting what she wants. I don't know - I see a sadness in her eyes and hope that one of these men can put the spark back in to her.

Jucamer I'm not sure if with regard to the bolded you are referring to Emily hoping that one of the men can put the spark back or if you are speaking about your own wish for her?

My understanding is that her family own coal mines and are well off. Her parents are divorced although I don't know when in her life that happened. They used to live close to the Hendrick's in one of their homes and that is how she and Ricky met.

Like you, I do see some sadness about her and as critical as I have been about her, part of me still feels sorry for her. Not so much about her tragedy with her fiancee which is sad, but the fact that she still can't seem to move on from that. I know that she has said that she has moved on and doing the Bachelor/ette was a part of that, but I still get the sense that she is holding on to that dream of Ricky. He is the ideal and since she was so young and they did not have much time together before he died, she never experienced the reality with him and the baby. She has him on a pedestal and envisions this idyllic life they would have had. No one can or will, ever live up to that. That is the part I feel bad about. Ricky can't make her happy any more. Yes, the result was little Ricki and she seems to have put her all into the child, which is admirable..up to a point. Her life now seems to totally revolve around Ricki, but Emily herself, doesn't seem to have developed much of an identify beyond that and that is sad to me.

I'm not sure if I'm putting this well or if it makes sense to anyone other than myself, but to me she seems to be looking to others to complete her...Ricki, a new man and more children. The surgical enhancements are another part of that for me. She is still very young and was even younger when she had her work done. I don't know why because to me she was beautiful...much more so than now. It's as if she is hiding behind all that stuff.

Emily is in a very privilaged position of being a single mom with means so she could indulge herself. I don't have a problem with that, but she doesn't seem to have attempted much with all that freedom and flexibility. She doesn't work and doesn't seem to have attempted to go to school to further her education. She did a stint as some kind of commentator for NASCAR and some volunteer work. Ricki is now in school, so what does she do with all that time? Despite of what the Bachelorette producers would have us believe, she is not home, sitting alone all by herself after Ricki goes to bed at 7pm. Her dating history is out there in cyberspace. And this is where my conflict starts with her...Part of me feels bad for her and what she has gone through, but the other part of me thinks that she hasn't really done much to change anything. At some point, you have to take responsibilty for you own hapiness and look within yourself for that inner peace. Other people (men, children), expensive things, and making yourself beautiful on the outside will never accomplish that.

[AlwaysVeg]

In all seriousness - you know what really gets me about her whole take on the baggage comment? (Putting aside, for this moment, the fact that Kalon is, of course, a total horse's a$$). That she assumes that every guy should immediately adore her daughter based on... absolutely nothing.

These guys have never met her kid. They don't know if she's sweet and engaging or an unholy terror. She's just this idea cloud hanging over their heads all the time - why should they be in love with her already?

Love this post, but there was no like button for me to click on. I guess Emily just expects all the men to automatically love the *idea* of Ricki sight unseen and with no experience of her whatsoever. Goes back to what someone said about Emily's unrealistic expectations, which I think will continue to cause her great disappointment all her life. People who have everything handed to them without earning it come to expect this kind of blind devotion and commitment because ... well, just because! Because obviously they are so wonderful that other people should be falling all over themselves for the honor and privilege of serving their every need. Certainly if Emily wants to get married, she needs to be looking for someone who would be good father material (which takes a lot more time and experience of someone than this show allows; therefore, it should not end with an engagement especially in Emily's case but a promise to get to know each other and each other's lives better), and then beyond that, they need to click with her particular child. Why should anyone declare that they would be *honored* to take on the role of a father to a child they've never met? That's just stupid. I can't help but recall back when I was dating men who were single dads, a couple of them had little boys who were so absolutely horrid and spoiled that I couldn't stand to be around them, no less contemplate being their stepmom. I'm not saying Ricki is horrid. She seems like a sweet child; however, these men know nothing about her or what Emily is like as a mother or what it would be like to be a father to her 24/7. Emily needs to come down off her high horse and buy a clue about what it's really like to go from being a single mom to finding a good man, introducing him to your child, and allowing a relationship between him and your child to develop in a healthy and positive direction to the point that the man *then* does feel that it would be an honor to be that particular child's stepdad.

[Rattus]

Screw with me, fine I can deal with it. Screw with one of my kids and you will feel the wrath of a momma bear come down on you full force!

Be that as it may, douchebag though he is, I don't consider what he said to be "screwing" with her kid. It wasn't an insult, it was an opinion on what life with Emily would be like, and that life would come with baggage. Baggage is an appendage of some sort - it is not specifically a negative. I consider her to be highly nuts oversensitive, much like a teenager, and her response to be over-the-top.

[wannasee]

Well, Hell's Bells! Anyone else trying to keep up on the abc site? They have a horrible set-up that cuts scenes in the middle to go to commercials and sometimes picks back up after 2 minutes where they left off. Other portions, they'll cut the scene right in the middle of what someone is saying and pick up lord knows how much later. I can tell from the comments I missed some key pieces. :-(

That said...I don't have a problem with how Emily addressed Kalon, although I have to say that I don't know if he was brave/honest to own up to what he said and meant or just plain clueless. I think if he had said it differently, it may not have had the same impact, which actually came from Chris' translation IMO. I didn't hear Kalon say "baggage," but the telephone game began and that's how it came to Emily. Doesn't matter to me - K. was clearly not the right guy to become a husband a stepfather. I also did not care for her holding the other men responsible; first, should the ones aware have gone to the producers or whoever the night before, so they could interrupt her date with Sean and tell her then? And Doug DID go to her right after finding out, it seems to me. But weirdly, it was Jef (who I actually like more and more) who was the one right there when the comments were made, he told her this but he got off scot-free? Oy.

Arie really won points with me this episode...I think as much for how he came through and was able to be silly with the Shakespeare as how gosh-awful crushed he seemed that she was so upset no one told her about K. earlier. Travis also is growing on me, what a goof! Felt bad for Alejandro, but I still didn't see him as husband/stepdad material...I think he's got some single/dating years left in him. Even down to this few guys, I hardly saw any conversations with Emily.

[jucamer]

[/B]

Jucamer I'm not sure if with regard to the bolded you are referring to Emily hoping that one of the men can put the spark back or if you are speaking about your own wish for her?

My own

[Rodale]

Remember, when Emily talked to Kalon, she gave his a chance to deny or admitt he said what he said. That was extremely fair of her. She seems to be a pracitcal, blunt, confront head on person with no hidden agendas. I like that. Also remember that she was upset with Kalon, not only for what he said about Ricki, but for telling her to go away and shooing her away on the group date when he wanted to reherse lines and for telling her to stop talking two weeks before. Her response to him was a culmanation of all these things which made her realize he was a creep and needed to just leave.

[bee stung lips]

Count me in the camp who was scratching my head as to why Emily was angry, hurt and upset that the rest of the guys didn't "have her back". What in the blue thundering hell did she expect them to do other than what they did in telling her what Kalon said? They DID have her back, they told her of Kalon's comments to which she then confronted him and thew him out. And speaking of which, I found it hilarious when she supposedly demanded of Kalon, "What do you have to say for yourself? Nothing...? Well then get out" all while showing off her pearly whites...lol, dang, girl...if that's what you call anger, I just don't know what to tell ya. Anger is usually accompanied by a snarl or a sneer on ones face. It's usually what helps lend credibility to said anger. I know she was trying to come across all "I am woman, hear me roar" and whatnot, but to me it was almost laughable. Were the other guys supposed to cower in fear and quiver in their panties in the aftermath, so as not ot arouse the wrath of the great and terrible Emily? lol