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Thread: Jef - Bachelorette 8

  1. #101
    Urban Renewal - a new era BuckeyeAddict's Avatar
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by Living View Post
    Most successful marriages I know, the woman spotted/fell for/liked the man first. Then she chased/enticed/lured/attracted him or made him notice and fall in love with her, then, she relaxed and let him do the chasing. After marriage, he continues to do everything to please her even though she had to do the initial working to get him interested.

    Emily we know is interested. Lets see Jef fall in love.
    My own personal experience and observations of others has been the opposite. The guy having to be on the chase from the start seemed to strengthen his feelings. But maybe in my case and the other cases I'm in thinking of, the woman just didn't know how to correctly chase/entice/lure/attract. I'm sure I didn't! I'd just scare them off.
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  2. #102
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by Living View Post
    After seeing Emily with Arie, I see more chemistry with Arie than with Jef. Actually, compared to Arie, Jef is like a kid. I do not understand though why the camera seems to pan to his face every so often.
    I feel like the chemistry shown on this show can be very misleading. By all accounts Brad and Chantal had great chemistry and he seemed to really like her. With Emily they showed all the awkward parts, but Brad was still falling in love with her. I could tell that Brad really liked Emily and figured she was the F1, but many were convinced he picked Chantal.

    I'm going to wait and see if she has a 1 on 1 date with Jef to determine how much chemistry they have, but even then we never know if we getting the whole truth. So far I think Emily is intrigued by Jef and is waiting for Jef to make a move.
    Last edited by CruGirl13; 06-04-2012 at 10:21 AM.
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  3. #103
    FORT Fogey Longhornfan's Avatar
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Emily is intrigued with Jef. He represents someone new and different to her. He is not pursuing her like the other guys have so far. I read that Emily said that he is shy. So, CruGirl13, I agree that Emily finds Jef intriguing at this point in the show.

    Chemistry on this show can either be downplayed or highlighted to a certain extent. And we have all seen in past seasons that great chemistry does not necessarily mean that those couples can navigate the hurdles that come with taking that relationship into the real world afterwards. Jef and Emily's upbringing and life styles in general are polar opposites in many ways, AND he lives clear across the country from her friends and family. These differences can either make or break a couple, even if the chemistry is off the charts.

    [edited for possible interpretation of spoiler material]
    Last edited by Arielflies; 06-04-2012 at 12:25 PM.

  4. #104
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by Longhornfan View Post
    Emily is intrigued with Jef. He represents someone new and different to her. He is not pursuing her like the other guys have so far. I read that Emily said that he is shy. So, CruGirl13, I agree that Emily finds Jef intriguing at this point in the show.

    Chemistry on this show can either be downplayed or highlighted to a certain extent. And we have all seen in past seasons that great chemistry does not necessarily mean that those couples can navigate the hurdles that come with taking that relationship into the real world afterwards. Jef and Emily's upbringing and life styles in general are polar opposites in many ways, AND he lives clear across the country from her friends and family. These differences can either make or break a couple, even if the chemistry is off the charts.

    [edited for possible interpretation of spoiler material]
    There's way too much emphasis on "chemistry," both on the part of the participants and on the part of viewers as often reflected here, and not enough emphasis on what the two people really have in common (values, lifestyle, goals, interests) that will serve them well after the show is over in the context of a long-term relationship.
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  5. #105
    FORT Fogey ilja's Avatar
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by AlwaysVeg View Post
    There's way too much emphasis on "chemistry," both on the part of the participants and on the part of viewers as often reflected here, and not enough emphasis on what the two people really have in common (values, lifestyle, goals, interests) that will serve them well after the show is over in the context of a long-term relationship.
    Which I believe happens in real life too thus the high divorce rate.
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  6. #106
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by ilja View Post
    Which I believe happens in real life too thus the high divorce rate.
    There has to be some chemistry between two people.Once you get to know them better, you can see if it will work out( values goals etc) .Especially in the context of this show
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  7. #107
    FORT Fogey Longhornfan's Avatar
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by AlwaysVeg View Post
    There's way too much emphasis on "chemistry," both on the part of the participants and on the part of viewers as often reflected here, and not enough emphasis on what the two people really have in common (values, lifestyle, goals, interests) that will serve them well after the show is over in the context of a long-term relationship.
    I totally agree, and even though I did not say it quite that clearly, I also see too much emphasis on whether or not there is instant chemistry between the lead and the bachelor or bachelorette. This is why I try to stay as neutral as possible, since most of these relationships don't start out based on much of anything that will sustain them for very long after the FRC. I think that some of the best marriages started out as friendships that were allowed to blossom over time.

    I do have a favorite among the guys, but I am not that emotionally invested in this season, so I will be okay with whoever Emily chooses. It is better for me to look at it like this, because the guys I usually like rarely end up being the F1 anyway.
    Last edited by Longhornfan; 06-04-2012 at 02:46 PM.
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  8. #108
    Forum Assistant sweetpea's Avatar
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    The way I see it is, this show is like speed dating on drugs...everything moves really fast. At the beginning of most relationships, physical attraction and chemistry is what generally drives the bus. You know, the 'honeymoon' of a relationship, before you get to know and accept the less desirable attributes of your loved one. That initial chemistry can fizzle or it can carry you into the next phase. I think chemistry is really important at this stage, especially with this show, since these people barely know each other. That's not to say the couple with the most chemistry will end up together, but I think if there is NO apparent chemistry at this point, the show moves along too fast to wait for it.
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  9. #109
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea View Post
    The way I see it is, this show is like speed dating on drugs...everything moves really fast. At the beginning of most relationships, physical attraction and chemistry is what generally drives the bus. You know, the 'honeymoon' of a relationship, before you get to know and accept the less desirable attributes of your loved one. That initial chemistry can fizzle or it can carry you into the next phase. I think chemistry is really important at this stage, especially with this show, since these people barely know each other. That's not to say the couple with the most chemistry will end up together, but I think if there is NO apparent chemistry at this point, the show moves along too fast to wait for it.
    I agree, I never thought otherwise of this show.
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  10. #110
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    Re: Jef - Bachelorette 8

    I wonder if some of the couples could have developed a solid relationship had there been no engagement or "I love you's" said. The slow build up to intimacy both physical and emotional is an important part of the mating dance.

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