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Thread: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

  1. #101
    Premium Member pajamasam's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Her intense focus on Bentley reminded me a bit of DeAnna and Graham. She just really, really wanted him. It remains to be seen whether or not Ashley will be able to change focus to someone else.
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  2. #102
    There are Cameras?!? Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    I think his "betrayal" spoke more to her insecurity that none of them would like her, more than her intense crush in the first week of the show. She really didn't laser in on him until the Roast Date, though the kiss at the previous Rose Party really caught her attention. At the Roast Date she questioned his intentions, but he reassured her, told her he was on the same page. She couldn't be confident anyone else could say the same thing. I really think this is about her insecurities and not Bentley per se. He just fit the bill for the moment. At least I hope they don't drag this out for drama - but, they will.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  3. #103
    FORT Regular DW_a_mom's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    Nah, that's not emotional abuse. He bad-mouths her, he makes fun of her, he's disrespectful about her: that I agree with. These phrases that people use like "bullying, haters, emotional abusers," just go too far. He admitted he was doing what no one had done before....just like Wes and Justin did. Obviously, it's important to these immature boys to make their mark....or should I say Mark their territory??
    He was rude, mean, unkind, etc etc but to say emotional abuser implies that Ashley played some part in it and she was actually totally unaware of what he was saying.
    Since when does an abuse victim play any part in the abuse? I find that statement ridiculous.

    While it takes more than a few interactions to create an abusive relationship, which is the reason I'm hesitant to put that title on things, you can't just swipe it away and say "that is not abuse," either. He DID play abusive head games on her. Assuming his ITM's were presented in the correct context (always an issue here), saying "I'm going to mess with her head" and "I'm going to make her cry" are clear statements of intent to prey on someone's emotional state. What is emotional abuse if it is not preying on someone's emotional state? He played with her head; that IS what abusers do. He went out to see if he could control her, get her on his side, just because he has some need to do that (he obviously didn't want her to like him because he liked her; he just wanted her to like him because he couldn't seem to accept any other answer). That IS what abusers do.
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  4. #104
    from sky to fire fireflyer's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Here's Bentley in Episode 2:

    VOICEOVER: West is really hopin to get the rose, but uh, I am very competitive and I will be pissed if I don't get the rose. Seh's obviously a beautiful girl, She has a great body,...
    FOOTAGE: ...amazing butt, and rockin legs, and havin her tickle my but_hole...
    VOICEOVER: ...I mean, that would be amazing. The competition makes it exciting, I mean, competing for her, and that's the extent in terms of my interest, you know, I mean,
    FOOTAGE: ...she's just not my type.

    Seriously, How crass does a man have to be to talk on camera about the Bachelorette tickling his but_hole?

  5. #105
    FORT Fanatic Holly in SoCal's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by fireflyer View Post
    Here's Bentley in Episode 2:

    VOICEOVER: West is really hopin to get the rose, but uh, I am very competitive and I will be pissed if I don't get the rose. Seh's obviously a beautiful girl, She has a great body,...
    FOOTAGE: ...amazing butt, and rockin legs, and havin her tickle my but_hole...
    VOICEOVER: ...I mean, that would be amazing. The competition makes it exciting, I mean, competing for her, and that's the extent in terms of my interest, you know, I mean,
    FOOTAGE: ...she's just not my type.

    Seriously, How crass does a man have to be to talk on camera about the Bachelorette tickling his but_hole?
    I've always felt that when it comes to men on the Bachelorette show, the majority of them are there, wanting to "win" the girl over only because men are very competitive in nature. It's not necessarily about the prize, but winning the competition. This is why it makes it so hard to discern which men are really there for the Bachelorette and which are there, hanging on, only due the the competitive nature of the show and their inner desire to WIN, WIN, WIN and beat out their competitors.

  6. #106
    "SPYING" ButterflyFaery's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    IMO Bentley went on this show for his own agenda...we know most of the people do...he wanted to draw as much attention to himself as possible...we have been told it was to draw attention to his business...well he did thats for sure..but his parting comments about how he played everyone..that was his biggest mistake of all IMO...yea he played Ashley...he played the guys...but his mistake was in thinking for one second he could and would play the Fleissmonster...it tells me he really hasn't paid much attention to the show...his comments about Emily support this..all he talked about was her looks..he has never paid attention on how the Fleissmonster can and will make people look....I dont' feel sorry for Bentley..he is a grown man...so step up and take it..you dished it out...I feel for the people that work at that place that are getting the nasty phone calls and most of all I feel sorry for the little girl who will probably for a long time have what her dad did pushed in her face
    SAVE THE WHALES..THE OCEANS DIE..WE DIE!!!

  7. #107
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by DW_a_mom View Post
    Since when does an abuse victim play any part in the abuse? I find that statement ridiculous.

    While it takes more than a few interactions to create an abusive relationship, which is the reason I'm hesitant to put that title on things, you can't just swipe it away and say "that is not abuse," either. He DID play abusive head games on her. Assuming his ITM's were presented in the correct context (always an issue here), saying "I'm going to mess with her head" and "I'm going to make her cry" are clear statements of intent to prey on someone's emotional state. What is emotional abuse if it is not preying on someone's emotional state? He played with her head; that IS what abusers do. He went out to see if he could control her, get her on his side, just because he has some need to do that (he obviously didn't want her to like him because he liked her; he just wanted her to like him because he couldn't seem to accept any other answer). That IS what abusers do.
    You can only be "abused" if you allow someone to abuse you. If Ashley became aware of his cruel intentions and continued with the relationship, then we could call it abuse. It's ridiculous and overly dramatic to imply that anyone who says something mean or unkind is an Abuser.
    Someone could call me names, say unkind or mean things to or about me, and I'd never consider myself "abused." Most of us would not tolerate cruel or mean words without standing up for ourselves. An "abuse-ee" is definitely in compliance with the abuser if they allow such behavior to continue and that's what I meant by playing a part in the abuse.

  8. #108
    FORT Fogey ironcat's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    You can only be "abused" if you allow someone to abuse you. If Ashley became aware of his cruel intentions and continued with the relationship, then we could call it abuse. It's ridiculous and overly dramatic to imply that anyone who says something mean or unkind is an Abuser.
    Someone could call me names, say unkind or mean things to or about me, and I'd never consider myself "abused." Most of us would not tolerate cruel or mean words without standing up for ourselves. An "abuse-ee" is definitely in compliance with the abuser if they allow such behavior to continue and that's what I meant by playing a part in the abuse.
    Abuse, by nature, is systematic and ongoing, so in that sense, the victim does "partcipate", but abusers tend to be very skilled at manipulating and weakening their targets into compliance. What I saw Bentley doing is make it a mission, for some reason that I'm still not sure of (short of just labeling him a sociopath), to get Ashley to fall for him, despite having no interest in her, by using every trick in the book, and playing the role of the perfect, ardent and irresistable suitor. Obviously, he is very skilled at doing this (and no doubt has done it before, albeit not on TV). Yes, many men by nature are competitive, and will view this show as a competition more than a journey to find love. But I have never seen one take it to the extreme level (nor be quite as expert at it) the way Bentley has.

  9. #109
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by RBmumsie View Post
    Has anyone seen anything from Bentley defending his actions? Saying he was "taken out of context"? If the guy isn't even TRYING to offer his side of the story, then I don't believe there IS another side. The guy is a pig.
    I read the People article this weekend, which had Ashley on the cover. There was a note in the article that said the producers would not make Bentley available for comment. Remember they all sign a contract. Sure, there have been plenty who have come out and put their side out there, contract or not, and thus far at least, the producers have not filed suit against them or taken any other actions, that we know of - but Bentley has a kid, and maybe that was enough ammunition for him to not be willing to risk it. There were comments from a friend, basically defending him. I know the producers can't make gold from c**p, which means Bentley had to give them some material to work with. But I found it strange, not that Bentley didn't want to comment in the article, but that the producers wouldn't make him available. Especially knowing from past seasons what the producers are capable of - me personally, I'm taking it all with a grain of salt. The other thing that really sticks in my craw about him - if he was all about winning and all about making the show look stupid, then why leave? Ashley made it pretty clear he was the front runner, so he would have been around for quite a while. Why did he do the honorable thing and leave - especially right after it became clear just HOW into him she was? I don't know - something about this whole situation doesn't add up. I will be interested to see him on the MTA - and what happens when he comes back.

  10. #110
    Leaning Forward cantstopwatchin's Avatar
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    Re: BENTLEY *No Spoilers*

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom View Post
    I read the People article this weekend, which had Ashley on the cover. There was a note in the article that said the producers would not make Bentley available for comment. Remember they all sign a contract. Sure, there have been plenty who have come out and put their side out there, contract or not, and thus far at least, the producers have not filed suit against them or taken any other actions, that we know of - but Bentley has a kid, and maybe that was enough ammunition for him to not be willing to risk it. There were comments from a friend, basically defending him. I know the producers can't make gold from c**p, which means Bentley had to give them some material to work with. But I found it strange, not that Bentley didn't want to comment in the article, but that the producers wouldn't make him available. Especially knowing from past seasons what the producers are capable of - me personally, I'm taking it all with a grain of salt. The other thing that really sticks in my craw about him - if he was all about winning and all about making the show look stupid, then why leave? Ashley made it pretty clear he was the front runner, so he would have been around for quite a while. Why did he do the honorable thing and leave - especially right after it became clear just HOW into him she was? I don't know - something about this whole situation doesn't add up. I will be interested to see him on the MTA - and what happens when he comes back.
    I bet this goes hand in hand with Ashley saying we haven't seen the last of him. The producers didn't have Ed available for the typical teleconference that the contestants do either because he returned at a later time. My guess would be that this highly implies that Bentley makes a return - but in what capacity - for an apology or to be taken back....
    "We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre." - Uta Hagen

    “I don’t want my pain erased! As wretched as it is, I need my pain… It makes me who I am. It makes me Grumpy.” - Grumpy, Once Upon a Time

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