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  1. #21
    FORT Fogey 2observe's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Quote Originally Posted by Arielflies View Post
    Ashley Hebert - Bachelorette Recap : People.com

    by Ashley Hebert

    I can't even tell you how much better I was feeling this week as we headed north to Chiang Mai. With so many great dates and memorable moments in Phuket, I was so excited to see where these relationships would go next!

    Ben [Flajnik] stood out to me more than anyone else on the orphanage date the week prior. He was funny, witty, artistic and great with the kids. On top of that, he looked great in a beanie! I could not wait to take him on the first date in Chiang Mai, a city of great cultural significance.

    At the marketplace, we were able to listen to Thai music, taste Thai cuisine (which happens to be my favorite) and visit one of the oldest temples in the world. I learned from this date that Ben was the total package. He was easy to be around, interesting to talk to, and had so much depth to him. All I wanted to do was kiss him, but just my luck we were at one of the holiest places in Thailand and could not kiss. The tension was tangible.

    All I have to say about the Muay Thai date is ... group date gone wrong! I love being active and looking at the guys' bodies. I knew they did, too, but I had no idea just how intense this was going to be.

    Not only was it 100 degrees in the training area but also the trainers were no joke. I found myself scared that if I did something wrong they would try to fight me! But the guys got a good workout and all proved to me that they could definitely keep up with me. After this, I'm not sure I could keep up with them!

    I knew the guys would be fighting each other, but had NO IDEA they would take it as seriously as they did. It seemed as if they were taking out some hidden aggression on each other! They were kicking and punching as hard as they could. I never thought it would go as far as it did. Poor Ames was a trooper. We did send him to the hospital, but luckily he was okay. Cheers to you, Ames!

    Double Elimination Date
    Looking back, I have to say that this date was the date I dreaded most this entire season. I know how stressful and awkward it can be for all parties, and knowing I was sending someone home in the middle of the date made it difficult to really enjoy it.

    William and Ben C. were both guys that at one point, I felt something for. At this point, I was questioning my relationships with both of the guys I was looking for a change of heart with at least one of them. When William told me that Ben had questionable intentions, I reacted very quickly.

    I found myself growing angry and realized that it wasn't worth keeping anyone here if they were even somewhat concerned about their online date-ability after they left. But sending Ben home was not based solely on what William brought to my attention it was a combination of us both having questionable feelings for one another.

    This date then turned into a one-on-one date with William and almost immediately I knew I wasn't feeling the same way I did on our first date. So much had happened since then, and there was certainly no turning back.

    Bentley on My Mind

    During this deliberation, you saw me talk about "thinking of Bentley." As much as everyone (including myself) is annoyed with the mere mention of his name, I hope people will understand how mystified I was when he left. At that point, I was almost beyond the intensity of feelings I had for Bentley with other guys and in fairness to them, needed to be sure that the "dot-dot-dot" Bentley gave me became a period.

    I still felt like Bentley was an obstacle that prevented me from fully committing to other guys, and I was starting to become concerned that the guys were feeling my hesitation as well. I needed to be sure that I could still trust my instinct and that this journey would work for me. I needed answers.

    Until next week, thanks everyone.
    It seems to me that Ashley started thinking about "closure" with Bentley, after her date with Ben F. Also, was JP on the Orphanage date? If so, he didn't really stand out to Ashley because she stated that Ben F. was the only one that stood out to her. It will be interesting to see how things progress with Ben F after Bentley leaves. Right now, we see Ashley being more physical with JP which leads me to think that he's getting the physical edit. It will also be interesting to see if JP continues to get the phyiscal edit.

  2. #22
    Crabby by nature Lucy van Pelt's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Yes, J.P. was on the orphanage date.

  3. #23
    Time to Come Back, Boys Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Bachelorette Blog: Ashley Hebert's Final Thoughts on 'Bentley Debacle' - The Bachelorette, Ashley Hebert : People.com

    Bachelorette Blog: Ashley Hebert's Final Thoughts on 'Bentley Debacle'

    By Ashley Hebert

    I've decided to approach this week's blog in a nontraditional fashion. I usually watch the episode and easily recount the most memorable moments and candid feelings in my own inner voice.

    This week, I cannot do this.

    With all of the negativity surrounding the Bentley debacle and the viewers' inability to understand how I was unable to see through what seemed to be a very obvious facade, I am here with an explanation and hopefully final "closure" to this never-ending saga.

    In last night's episode, I hope you were finally able to see what Bentley was consistently doing in each conversation with me. His ego and competitiveness made him want to "get the girl," but you know, as well as I do (now), that I was certainly not what he wanted.

    But he continually fed me lines like, "I didn't think I would miss you as much as I did," and, "Come to Salt Lake City." It was only at this meeting that I was able to clearly see the way he would try to smooth talk his way into my heart and then attempt to crush it on his way out. Looking back, one would think that I would be fearful that my judgment was not intact. However, I am more fearful of the fact that there are men out there so convincing of untruth.

    An outsider might look at this situation and see a complete lack of social intellect on my part, and I understand that. However, when I look at my actions, I see myself as someone who was willing to give a person a chance to prove himself. I'll admit that I was burned by a boy who saw my feelings for him as a conquest. A conquest he quickly achieved and slowly lost. In retrospect, it was just as painful for me to hear his name as it was for all of the viewers who were aware of his ill will.

    But I still believe in my instinct, and most importantly I still believe myself ... hopeful of finding a man who would never make me question myself, or treat another person with such lack of regard.

    So if you have any question as to whether or not I am ready, confident and in a great place to move on after this episode, please know that I am, and also know that you will never have to hear the B–– word again.

    I want to make it clear that I sought closure from this mystery because my heart was heading towards love and I owed it to all of these great guys to get the answers and never have to think about it again. During my date with J.P., I decided to tell him about Bentley's return. He handled hearing the news with grace, as I had expected, and gave me the confidence to share it with the rest of the guys at the cocktail party.

    I always told the guys that it was important for us to be honest with each other. I knew this cocktail party was the perfect time to tell everyone about the rendezvous I had earlier in the week. What I didn't know is that I would have such a hard time explaining what had happened. How do you explain to the men you are dating that you had "fallen" for someone who chose to leave? And that he came back because you needed closure?

    I am not sure there is a good answer to this, and I certainly see how that could make anyone feel as if they were second best. The truth is, it made me realize the caliber of men that I had and it made me feel closer to them.

    Truth is the only way to build a real love. And in more ways than one, this episode marks the beginning of my beautiful, truthful, honest, genuine love story.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  4. #24
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    The confrontation with Bentley came across as utterly useless. Hopefully there was a lot more to it than what we saw, and that it really gave Ashley closure. The portion we saw left me feeling like it was all a waste of time.

    And....I would not wager one red cent on us never hearing Bentley's name again.
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  5. #25
    Organizing my sock drawer RBmumsie's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    I definitely saw closure for Ashley with the Bentley meeting. She kept asking him questions and he kept trying to deflect or stroke her thigh or whatever, but she wasn't buying it. Good for you, Ashley. Guys like Bentley can mess with your head. I'm glad that you're moving forward!
    Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History...Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

  6. #26
    Time to Come Back, Boys Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Bachelorette Ashley Hebert Sends Home Ryan, Picks Final Four : People.com

    By Ashley Hebert

    I have been looking forward to this week because it really does mark the end of a chapter that seemed to be consuming everyone's emotions … including mine!

    This was also a week where I decided to start a journal, a place for me to keep track of my honest feelings and inner thoughts. I knew that after everything that happened, if I were to leave with someone in the end, they would have a lot of questions. This would hopefully provide explanations and consolation if it were to be needed.

    My relationship with Constantine up until now had been very slow moving. At times I wondered if this was the right environment for him to meet someone special. I believe him to be a very kind-hearted individual, but I realized that he was either holding back, or maybe didn't feel a love connection with me.

    Up until this point, we hadn't even kissed yet! I had a lot of questions for him on this date regarding these concerns. He answered them in a way that validated the reason he is still here.

    Constantine was honest and sincere and most importantly he questioned things. I knew that whatever would come out of his mouth was real, and I could believe it. Dating in this environment can be tricky because you don’t know who has real feelings and who has a false sense of feeling, and, finally, we had our first kiss!

    Once I heard that my date with Ben was an "overnight" date, I knew this would immediately cause drama. I spent part of the date worrying about how this may affect the other guys, but ultimately I was just excited to have Ben all to myself.

    My dates with Ben are always great. He is an incredibly easy-going person and is very fun to be around. What I really love about him is that he's the kind of boyfriend you could take anywhere – and he'd be comfortable and engaging. Ben was great in this environment, whether it was me almost killing him on a scooter in Taroko National Park, or getting dressed up and having a fancy dinner. The romance heats up every time we're together and this date was no different. Oh, and just to clarify, this "overnight" date was spent apart!

    I had a great time on this group date. After watching it, I had no idea how high emotions were running at that point! A part of me feels awful that this week was not enjoyable for some of the guys, but it also makes me feel good knowing that they had genuine feelings and were not afraid to express frustrations.

    There's something about people showing their emotions that viewers tend to frown upon. They are said to be weak or an emotional mess. To me, showing emotion is a sign of sincerity and strength.

    Finally, I am out with Ryan on our first one-on-one date.

    Ryan is a guy that I never had any questions about. What I knew of him was sincere, honest and genuine. He was always a guy that I knew I would go on a hometown date with. Sometimes I think maybe it was my fault for not taking him on a date sooner, but in the middle of our date I realized something: my feelings for the other guys had so far surpassed where I was with Ryan that I couldn't possibly keep him around.

    In a way, I felt like I was being dishonest if I did.

    Knowing that he had a successful business back home, and such a desire to find someone, I couldn't possibly keep him away from that. As soon as I realized this, the rest of the date was really hard to get through. My goodbye to Ryan was quite possibly the hardest one all season. Watching Ryan's last few words from his departure was heartbreaking, and I was fighting back the tears just watching.

    In the end, this week brought me the clarity that I needed.

    Saying goodbye to Lucas and all others from this point on was incredibly difficult because real emotions were involved. During my conversation with Lucas on the group date, I realized that we had some very differing ideas about family and relationships. I began to see just how different we were and how there was very little room for change.

    Next week is the week I have been looking forward to most! At this point, I was ready to get back to the United States, meet the families and see baby pictures.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  7. #27
    Time to Come Back, Boys Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Bachelorette Ashely Blog : People.com

    Bachelorette Ashley: What You Didn't See on My Hometown Visits

    By Ashley Hebert

    The travel we've been fortunate enough to experience along this journey on The Bachelorette has been incredible. I've loved learning about new cultures, seeing locations I've only seen in books or magazines, and getting to fall in love in some of the most romantic locations in the world.

    And one of the best things about traveling is the feeling you get when it's time to go home. Even though we weren't heading to see my family, knowing I was about to meet the families of the guys I had grown so close to was incredibly exciting. While traveling back to the States, I envisioned what each family would be like, but, boy, was I wrong with a couple of them!

    Let's start with Constantine's hometown. Throughout our relationship he was often telling me, "Once you see me with my family, you'll understand. That's when you'll really see the real me." I knew that if it didn't go well, this would probably be the end of the road for the two of us. I'm so attracted to both Constantine's looks and honesty that I really wanted it to go well.

    Constantine spent so much time talking about his family and how important they were to him, I always felt like he was holding back and was never really comfortable dating in this process. I can understand that because you are removed from the comfort of your normal life, family and friends. In a way, it can make you feel incomplete.

    Homebody Constantine

    From the moment I saw Constantine in Cumming, he was like a new man. He seemed relaxed, warm, and incredibly happy and confident. I learned so much about him and everything made sense to me now.

    Constantine's family is his life and they make him whole. I think more than any other hometown visit, being around Constantine's family let me know that they would be a constant and welcome presence if we chose to spend our lives together. One moment you didn't get to see was his mother sharing a story with me about when she was sick, and Constantine stayed by her bed until she got better. It really touched my heart; I knew he was a good man who puts family first, and I was right.

    I also learned on this date that being Greek Orthodox was a huge part of his life. I had never known religion to be that important to him, and it really took me by surprise that he never mentioned it to me. I assume it was fear of dissimilarity. Overall, my relationship with Constantine reached an incredible place on this hometown date.

    Ames's Insight

    Moving onto Ames. Ames is probably one of the most intelligent, optimistic and insightful people I've ever met. I was very excited and curious to meet his family and see how Ames became the man he is now. And they were incredible!

    I was so comfortable talking with each of them, and I learned a lot more about him from his family. His mother is a strong, intelligent, independent and admirable woman. I see a lot of her qualities in Ames. I also loved Ames's sister Serena. She is definitely someone that I could see as a friend or sister-in-law. Serena asked me questions regarding my spark for Ames, and this was actually something I felt I was missing at this point.

    I really like Ames, but I have always waited for the romance to really happen. I saw a bit of his spontaneous side in the elevator in Taipei, but I feel he always talked about how he was romantic more than he actually was. This hometown date was really my last attempt to see if it could be there.

    Serena had great insight because even she wasn't sure if I felt it. I was hoping to see it all come to fruition on this date, and while I did see and feel more, it wasn't enough to let one of the other guys go.

    My next stop was Sonoma. I had never been to Northern California so I was excited to see what it was all about. Sonoma is such a quaint little town, it made me feel like I was really home.

    Ben's family was one of the families that surprised me the most. In my mind, I thought they were going to be loud, outgoing, and somewhat goofy like Ben. I was so surprised to see that they were quite the opposite. They were sophisticated and conservative. His mother reminded me of Coco Chanel! I was so nervous talking with her and felt somewhat intimidated.

    Ben's family has been through a lot in the past few years and I sensed a guard and protectiveness over him. Watching Ben's interview brought tears to my eyes. It was nice to see him dig deep into his heart and be comfortable showing emotion that he held in for so long. This is one of the things I love to see throughout this journey. It is about finding love, but it's also about finding yourself and I'm so happy to be a part of that with Ben. Honestly, I always enjoy my time spent with Ben. He's so fun to be around and lives a truly incredible life.

    Romantic with JP

    My last date was with JP in Long Island, New York. At this point, it felt like forever since I had seen him and I could not wait! On one of our dates I made fun of him because he said he liked rollerblading in New York City. I told him that rollerblading didn't seem like a sexy pastime for such a stud. This was my payback. He took me roller-skating hoping that I would fall on my face, but to his dismay, he was the one that fell!

    But the best part of all was that I felt like I was at a middle school dance. It was romantic and silly, and I remember thinking just how happy I was in those moments. I was really nervous to meet JP's family for a different reason than he probably thought. I was scared that they wouldn't be pleased that I wasn't Jewish. Religion does not matter to me, but I had no idea how they felt about it, so I went into this date with nervousness on my shoulders.

    What a relief! His family was so supportive and sweet. They were also very concerned about JP getting his heart broken. It became clear that he had a very emotional breakup that affected him greatly, and all they want is to see their son happy. I also learned that JP gets his sweet smile from his mother, and his intellect from his dad. I had so many great conversations with everyone, but the best part was seeing his Bar Mitzvah photo. Sweet mullet, JP! Now we all know why he shaves his head!

    I really couldn't have asked for a better visit with each family. I feel so fortunate to have such a high caliber group of men with me, and I loved getting to see them in their element. In the end, I really felt as if I was missing a romantic connection with Ames. I knew saying goodbye to him would be hard because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone I respected so much. Ames is the true definition of a good man and I know he will make a wonderful woman very happy one day! You're the best Ames!
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  8. #28
    Time to Come Back, Boys Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Bachelorette: Ashley Hebert's Final 2 Revealed : People.com

    A lady I worked with once told me a story about how she met her husband while she was on vacation in Fiji. She told me how beautiful and romantic it was, and how nice the people were. Ever since then, Fiji was next on the list of places I wanted to visit. I was ecstatic to find out we were on our way there for The Bachelorette and that there was a good chance I would have a great Fiji love story of my own.

    Going into this week, my feelings for both Ben and J.P. were so strong and I was excited to see what this trip would bring. My relationship with Constantine hit a high at the hometown dates, but I still had so many questions.

    I have to say that Ryan's return was a huge surprise, but I certainly understood why he felt the need to come back. When I said goodbye to Ryan, I felt uncertain about my decision and I think he sensed that. I can see how it just didn't make sense because I never really voiced any true concerns with him. So much was going through my mind at this point that I knew I would have to take some time and think about his return. Once I was able to spend time with each of the remaining guys, I knew that I had found what I was looking for within them. So, once again I had to say goodbye to Ryan. Saying goodbye a second time was not much different than the first. It broke my heart.

    I had so much fun with Ben on our date. I remember laughing so much. Our sense of humor is so similar and I would say we spent 80 percent of this date cracking jokes and having a great day out in the sun. What you didn't see much of was our boat ride home. It was so romantic and he laid his head on my lap and we looked at the stars. It was a moment of clarity for both of us.

    After such a great hometown date, I was excited to see Constantine again. Our relationship moved a lot slower than I wanted, and at this was a critical time for us. We needed to use this date to figure things out. Throughout most of the date, I felt a huge disconnect with him. I quickly realized I was holding out and looking for a romance between us that will never be there. I wanted to use the rest of our date to see if things would be different. Our conversation at dinner quickly touched upon both of our concerns, and though I was willing to use every last minute to see if time was what we needed, Constantine didn't surprise me by saying goodbye.

    One might think that because it was so late in the process that I would be devastated, but I wasn't. It only made me fear that if Constantine could be unsure about us this late in the process, could Ben or J.P. feel the same? That is why I wanted to still have a rose ceremony.

    My last date was with J.P. and I remember being so excited to see him walk up. I loved J.P.'s kisses and remember not wanting this date to end and being happy knowing that this was an overnight date and it wouldn't have to end so soon! We took a seaplane to our own private beach and, of course, spent most of the day kissing. Beaches seem to be our thing.

    Thanks for watching! I can't wait to share next week's finale with everyone!
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  9. #29
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    This is one of the things that kills the romance of the show for me, how can you propose to a girl who slept with your freind just a few days ago? I think the Bach/ette should only offer the fantasy suite to one person... I guess that might give it away early but it wouldn't be so trashy. This is also why so many of the couples don't last.. how can the final one get over watching their finance go jump in the sack with someone else. I certainly couldn't.
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  10. #30
    FORT Fogey veg_out's Avatar
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    Re: Ashley's Blog

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikesgirl83 View Post
    This is one of the things that kills the romance of the show for me, how can you propose to a girl who slept with your freind just a few days ago? I think the Bach/ette should only offer the fantasy suite to one person... I guess that might give it away early but it wouldn't be so trashy. This is also why so many of the couples don't last.. how can the final one get over watching their finance go jump in the sack with someone else. I certainly couldn't.
    Do others think that she slept with Ben? I don't. Just like with Chris L's pool fantasy date, I got the impression that, as soon as they hit the Fantasy Suite, they both stopped pretending to be in love with each other. Ashley and Ben might find each other physically attractive, but I think they just talked. Maybe I'm naive

    Now with JP, sure thing. No doubt about that one.

    I agree that it must be weird thinking about her list if one of the final guys.

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