Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

[deedreamer]

In talking with my BFF (yes, we have been talking about this show for weeks now!), we realized one reason why we love it is because it is a window into the male psyche that we don't usually get. We have our husband, our Dad, our sons and maybe a few exboyfriends out there who we have gotten to know on this emotional level. However, for the most part, guys keep these feelings to themselves. On this show, we see them at their very best and very worst. It's kind of like a modern day fairy tale where princes fight for the princess (even in their white docksiders!). We see how women make bad choices and get sweet-talked.....

I have been sitting here thinking about how to sum up this season and how I feel about it and read your post. I could not have said it any better but I am gong to try to add some additional thoughts. I think that along with all that was phoney and contrived this year, we also got a look at the most real bachelorette and most real bachelors that we have ever seen. We got to see Jillian, warts and all. She is more of the every day girl than any other bachelorette. Not looking for fame and fortune but just looking for someone that she can love. Someone who will love her back. I really liked all 3 of the final guys but admit I was mostly on the Reid train all the way.

Kip: I think mostly has a pretty full life and is content with where he presently is in life. He has not reached the point where he is actively seeking to share it with someone. I think when he met Jillian he saw her as someone who would fit nicely into the life he would like in the future but I really think his level of love was more in that she was a woman he could live with but not necessarily a woman he can't live without.

Reid: Reid is quirky, sweet and slightly OCD. I see in him a kind of loneliness where he really wants someone to share his life with. He is slow and hesitant but the type of person who when they finally commit, it is total and from the heart. Some have said that he was arrogant in thinking that if he went back for Jill that she would "fall into his lap" I don't think it was arrogance. I think that with all the so called prodding and poking at him that she did to get the words from him, that he really believed that she loved him and love for him is total committment so he could not vizualize that if she loved him that there would be any question that she would accept his proposal. He hesitated for so long to say the words because he wasn't looking for a woman that he could live with he was looking for the one that he couldn't live without and the minute he left Hawaii he realized that it was Jillian. He had to come back to propose because the OCD part of him would have driven him crazy with the thoughts of "What if?"

Ed: I think Ed originally came on the show as a lark, as a fun experiment. He never expected to fall in love with Jillian and when he did, he panicked. He didn't know what to do with a girl that he was falling hard for and who he was in competition with so many other guys for. He ran away and probabely tried to forget her by returning to his old life and girlfriends but in the end couldn't forget her. I think he came back because he had to know if what he was feeling was really love. I think Ed has as many insecurities as Jillian when it comes to women. I think this because a man who is secure in who he is, does not have to be a womanizer. He does not need the validation.

Jillian and Ed: Will they last? Who knows, like any other couple in love, they have a chance. Life is about what we do with our chances. What matters is not what has happened with them up to this point, it is what they do with it from here on. Do they work at it and build a life together or do they just go along for the adrenaline of the moment. It is up to them. I wish them well.

[trisha22]

To me that girl chose Ed before he even left for his career. Her face and demeanor when he was around her was a dead giveaway. I am so surprised everyone did not see this especially on their first date...

Again, to me the other guys were "crushes" and her really liking the people they were...her best friends..

Jillian has a very open heart, and gives people the benefit of doubt until proven wrong and that is what is so appealing about her. That, to me, is what made every guy she let go so heartbreaking because she was letting down good friends she grew to love.

Thank goodness she met someone out of all this, thank goodness he is a stand up guy, stable and sure of what he wanted in Jillian...I don't worry about him because of his comforting words on her blog today he said something to the effect "that he will take care of Jilly for us".....

They both are lucky they met and who would have thought that Fleiss with all his scripts, editing and over the top dates actually enabled two people to fall in love it seems maybe even in the real world.

[ironcat]

I have been sitting here thinking about how to sum up this season and how I feel about it and read your post. I could not have said it any better but I am gong to try to add some additional thoughts. I think that along with all that was phoney and contrived this year, we also got a look at the most real bachelorette and most real bachelors that we have ever seen. We got to see Jillian, warts and all. She is more of the every day girl than any other bachelorette. Not looking for fame and fortune but just looking for someone that she can love. Someone who will love her back. I really liked all 3 of the final guys but admit I was mostly on the Reid train all the way.

Kip: I think mostly has a pretty full life and is content with where he presently is in life. He has not reached the point where he is actively seeking to share it with someone. I think when he met Jillian he saw her as someone who would fit nicely into the life he would like in the future but I really think his level of love was more in that she was a woman he could live with but not necessarily a woman he can't live without.

Reid: Reid is quirky, sweet and slightly OCD. I see in him a kind of loneliness where he really wants someone to share his life with. He is slow and hesitant but the type of person who when they finally commit, it is total and from the heart. Some have said that he was arrogant in thinking that if he went back for Jill that she would "fall into his lap" I don't think it was arrogance. I think that with all the so called prodding and poking at him that she did to get the words from him, that he really believed that she loved him and love for him is total committment so he could not vizualize that if she loved him that there would be any question that she would accept his proposal. He hesitated for so long to say the words because he wasn't looking for a woman that he could live with he was looking for the one that he couldn't live without and the minute he left Hawaii he realized that it was Jillian. He had to come back to propose because the OCD part of him would have driven him crazy with the thoughts of "What if?"

Ed: I think Ed originally came on the show as a lark, as a fun experiment. He never expected to fall in love with Jillian and when he did, he panicked. He didn't know what to do with a girl that he was falling hard for and who he was in competition with so many other guys for. He ran away and probabely tried to forget her by returning to his old life and girlfriends but in the end couldn't forget her. I think he came back because he had to know if what he was feeling was really love. I think Ed has as many insecurities as Jillian when it comes to women. I think this because a man who is secure in who he is, does not have to be a womanizer. He does not need the validation.

Jillian and Ed: Will they last? Who knows, like any other couple in love, they have a chance. Life is about what we do with our chances. What matters is not what has happened with them up to this point, it is what they do with it from here on. Do they work at it and build a life together or do they just go along for the adrenaline of the moment. It is up to them. I wish them well.

I think you summed things up beautifully on the 3 guys. Reid is a gem and will be a wonderful husband to some lucky girl. When he commits, he is "all in", and when he falls, he falls hard. That's why after his heart was broken the first time, it took him so long to get back on the horse. Too bad he did it with millions watching, but hopefully he'll heal quicker this time.

I think Ed thinks he has found the one in Jill, but we know how this show plays with one's mind and emotions, so I hope he doesn't revert back to form if the feelings and/or the emotional high of winning start to wear off.

Kiptyn will no doubt be fine if he isn't already. He doesn't need this show, never did, and it looks like he is running in the other direction back to his happy comfortable life. When he is ready to work for a relationship and make it a prority, instead of pursuing the ones that fall in his lap, he will find the right woman.

[enterpriselady]

I have been sitting here thinking about how to sum up this season and how I feel about it and read your post. I could not have said it any better but I am gong to try to add some additional thoughts. I think that along with all that was phoney and contrived this year, we also got a look at the most real bachelorette and most real bachelors that we have ever seen. We got to see Jillian, warts and all. She is more of the every day girl than any other bachelorette. Not looking for fame and fortune but just looking for someone that she can love. Someone who will love her back. I really liked all 3 of the final guys but admit I was mostly on the Reid train all the way.

Kip: I think mostly has a pretty full life and is content with where he presently is in life. He has not reached the point where he is actively seeking to share it with someone. I think when he met Jillian he saw her as someone who would fit nicely into the life he would like in the future but I really think his level of love was more in that she was a woman he could live with but not necessarily a woman he can't live without.

Reid: Reid is quirky, sweet and slightly OCD. I see in him a kind of loneliness where he really wants someone to share his life with. He is slow and hesitant but the type of person who when they finally commit, it is total and from the heart. Some have said that he was arrogant in thinking that if he went back for Jill that she would "fall into his lap" I don't think it was arrogance. I think that with all the so called prodding and poking at him that she did to get the words from him, that he really believed that she loved him and love for him is total committment so he could not vizualize that if she loved him that there would be any question that she would accept his proposal. He hesitated for so long to say the words because he wasn't looking for a woman that he could live with he was looking for the one that he couldn't live without and the minute he left Hawaii he realized that it was Jillian. He had to come back to propose because the OCD part of him would have driven him crazy with the thoughts of "What if?"

Ed: I think Ed originally came on the show as a lark, as a fun experiment. He never expected to fall in love with Jillian and when he did, he panicked. He didn't know what to do with a girl that he was falling hard for and who he was in competition with so many other guys for. He ran away and probabely tried to forget her by returning to his old life and girlfriends but in the end couldn't forget her. I think he came back because he had to know if what he was feeling was really love. I think Ed has as many insecurities as Jillian when it comes to women. I think this because a man who is secure in who he is, does not have to be a womanizer. He does not need the validation.

Jillian and Ed: Will they last? Who knows, like any other couple in love, they have a chance. Life is about what we do with our chances. What matters is not what has happened with them up to this point, it is what they do with it from here on. Do they work at it and build a life together or do they just go along for the adrenaline of the moment. It is up to them. I wish them well.

Great post! I don't post much, mainly cause I am not good at figuring out things like all of you all do. I love to read the great insights like the post above. I am so very glad that I knew the F1 before it was actually shown. Thanks to everyone!! I will be back next season to listen to everyone here and one in a while throw in my little opinions. Great job everyone, you make watching this show so much more enjoyable!!!!

[MayJ]

I have one question...going by Reid's insinuation about the FS, if she knew she was in love with Ed, why'd she have sex with Kip and Reid? Doesn't say too much about Jillian.

For me, that's a legitimate question for any of them... imo there's nothing right about it happening outside of marriage, period, and yet the searching-for-love-story idea is so compelling .... so here's my final impression for what it's worth:

I got interested this season, after watching parts of the last few out of curiosity, as a fellow Candadian of Jill's.... intrigued to follow the fun dating of these young, "beautiful" people in adventures/places which I (pro career given up to be stay-at-home mom on single income 14 yrs and counting) could only dream about. And signed up on FORT (first and only time on any board) to enjoy "getting to know" all the participating personalities, the innocent sleuthing and witty commenting by so many of you.... well done!

But I confess, if nothing else this show shines light on my own hippocrisy.... I am feeling simultaneously repulsed by how tptb drive their agenda highlighting the booze, immodesty, crude talk, and sexual immorality......... yet intrigued, like you all, caught up in continuing to watch faithfully, cheering Jill on to rise above "tacky" and track down some integrity among the trash and fluff. What a dicotomy!!! Well done MF, to impact me this way..... but someday maybe you'll realize TRUE ratings in this troubled real world, would soar without the shams, lies, promiscuity, and manipulations... raising the standard could shock even you.

Now is head-shaking time.... I think Jill missed out on the right path when she let who seemed what I call the 'honourable' guys.... because they were naiive (maybe), but honest, mature, prudent, stable, and gentlemen..... go so early (highschool coach guy, Sasha, baseball Mike, Jesse, Jake, etc, come to mind)..... and she seemed happy to comply with pressure/agenda/script, as is implied in every thread, to pursue acquaintance with some real jerks and lose her time with sound "husband-material" guys. Yes, I know... that was her contract, for "drama", not REAL reality TV.

Now I'm thinking "birds of a feather".... wisdom, balance, right priorities, maturity, dependability, and honesty SHOULD have been her goal if she was serious about marriage forever.... so maybe, being not so serious after all, 'turn-around-Ed' is in fact a better match, and Reid dodged a bullet. It's a big diamond after all,..... and a "party" that she prefers.... but seems rooted in a shallowness which I fear isn't destined to last long.

Reid and possibly Kip were the only worthwhile husband material who lasted, imo..... but I think now that maybe they are too classy for her 'needs'..... I don't wish her ill, but now join the ranks of the jaded & disappointed viewers starved for a clean love story..... do I stay or do I go.... my hipocrisy needs to stop, whether MF stops his or not.

Regards to all of you, and thanks for this interesting venue.

[I'msotired]

Excellent post, deedreamer. You helped me settle the season in my stomach. Thanks VERY much for that.

BTW, does anyone know if there are complete copies of Trista and Ryan's season available for purchase or a place on the net to view all the episodes? I sure wish I'd have kept my old tapes. I'm kicking myself now.

[jmomof3]

Just curious - what ever happened with Ed's job? The one he had to go home for or he would lose it. I don't ever remember them explaining how it was okay for him to come back regarding his work. And then he was able to get all that time off (55 days approx) to spend with her in LA drinking margaritas and swimming? I was just wondering...

[blasie]

The best thing about this show and the only REAL thing about this show is FORT. The episodes are once weekly, but Fort never closes....it may crash from time to time, but we can share our insights and information and pose questions that someone surely will be able to answer.

I love posting and love reading others's posts......some are hilarious and some are heartbreaking. The spoilers are my favorite. I always read the last chapter of a novel first, otherwise I miss the twists and turns of the plot. That way I can appreciate the author's ability to weave the threads and tie up the loose ends. Spoilers add such depth to the viewing experience of what is a pretty shallow genre. The participants don't have to even know anything or be able to do anything. They are merely expected to connect. The best connector doesn't necessarily win. Quite often the lead seems to choose the kind of person they aspire to be.....the kind of person they would never have a chance to date IRL because here they can. Crazy!

This was a great season.......

MVP goes to ....Reid Rosenthal. Whether he was REAL or scripted, he was very convincing...a natural. His dialogue surprised and delighted and his delivery had the perfect amount of emotion for the words he was speaking. The phrasing revealed the soul of a poet....were they his own words?

His love scenes were simmering rather than steaming. I never once cringed or averted my gaze. He was able to convey a tender passion with an enveloping hug and a kiss on the clavicle. The silent forehead to forehead extended double hand-clasp with fingers intertwined is about the most
sensuous visual image of the season..(..more so than the volcanic eruption).
It made me think that their breathing and their heartbeat and their brain waves were totally in sync. .........He was that good.

Oh well!! A year ago TB 12 Matt and Shayne .....TBette 4 De and Jesse... TB 13 Jason and Melissa.......... now this too shall pass.


Until we meet again.

[BachfanNY]

Just curious - what ever happened with Ed's job? The one he had to go home for or he would lose it. I don't ever remember them explaining how it was okay for him to come back regarding his work. And then he was able to get all that time off (55 days approx) to spend with her in LA drinking margaritas and swimming? I was just wondering...

great question...i love how that topic gets avoided

[GuardianAngel]

9. Did you keep your job at Microsoft after the show? "I did. Yep, I'm still there."

there is an article from the chicago tribune in the media thread where Ed answers questions...