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Thread: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

  1. #191
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by deedreamer;3628385;
    I am a mature (55+) Canadian woman and I am in no way dissapointed in how Gillian represented herself. Yes she talked about her sex life but with how this show is edited, to not talk about it would be like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. She talked about it openly and honestly as a young vibrant woman with no shame. Often things not talked about get even more blown out of proportion than those adressed simply and straight forward.

    She said the guys adored her because that is how they made her feel. She felt adored by them. And she has already said that she reads the blogs and such so she knows that the guys giving interviews have all said that she is a fantastic person so why shouldn't she feel adored.

    As for Anderson Cooper talking to her about sex - well his question would be more attributable to a lack of class on his part. Her answer was 100 times classier than his question.

    As for announcing that she was moving in with him. Why not. It is her way of saying yes this is real and yes we are going ahead with a future. If she remained in BC and did not plan in moving to Chicago she would be flooded with comments like Molly has been for not moving to Seattle. People would not believe that the couple was real. I am goin out on a limb here and predicting that both of these couples will wed. One thing that I see in their favor is that both couples are fulfilling their contractual obligations to appear in public but are for the most part conducting their life in private...or at least as much privacy as living in a fish bowl can afford them.

    I am not stating this as an Ed fan because I was on the Reid train all the way. (My heart melts when I see him and think any mother would be proud to claim him as her son.)

    Everyone says they want a love story but when they get one - just because it is not the story they wanted to hear - they turn negative and throw terrible remarks around (I am not directing this at you but people in general) People need to chill out and acknowledge that someway through all the garbage and drama, two people found their way together through the maize to arrive at the starting line to have a life together. TB finale is a finale only to the show. It is essentially a long gruesome screening interview that allows two people to arrive at the starting line of what hopefully for them will be a life together. Let them have their chance. If it works out then be happy for them. If it doesn't, remember It is not up to them to live up to your expectations.

    If you think someone you care about is going to have a fall...you have a choice. You can either poke at them and make them more nervous and vulnerable by your words of warning or you can support them and encourage them and be there for them as a soft place to fall if they need it.

    Tomorrow you are going to get up and go about your life in the same way as you always do. Jillian and Ed are not going to come and tell you how you should think or feel or act so give them the courtesy of doing the same.
    Well said, and ITA!

  2. #192
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by deedreamer;3628385;
    I am a mature (55+) Canadian woman and I am in no way dissapointed in how Gillian represented herself. Yes she talked about her sex life but with how this show is edited, to not talk about it would be like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. She talked about it openly and honestly as a young vibrant woman with no shame. Often things not talked about get even more blown out of proportion than those adressed simply and straight forward.

    She said the guys adored her because that is how they made her feel. She felt adored by them. And she has already said that she reads the blogs and such so she knows that the guys giving interviews have all said that she is a fantastic person so why shouldn't she feel adored.

    As for Anderson Cooper talking to her about sex - well his question would be more attributable to a lack of class on his part. Her answer was 100 times classier than his question.

    As for announcing that she was moving in with him. Why not. It is her way of saying yes this is real and yes we are going ahead with a future. If she remained in BC and did not plan in moving to Chicago she would be flooded with comments like Molly has been for not moving to Seattle. People would not believe that the couple was real. I am goin out on a limb here and predicting that both of these couples will wed. One thing that I see in their favor is that both couples are fulfilling their contractual obligations to appear in public but are for the most part conducting their life in private...or at least as much privacy as living in a fish bowl can afford them.

    I am not stating this as an Ed fan because I was on the Reid train all the way. (My heart melts when I see him and think any mother would be proud to claim him as her son.)

    Everyone says they want a love story but when they get one - just because it is not the story they wanted to hear - they turn negative and throw terrible remarks around (I am not directing this at you but people in general) People need to chill out and acknowledge that someway through all the garbage and drama, two people found their way together through the maize to arrive at the starting line to have a life together. TB finale is a finale only to the show. It is essentially a long gruesome screening interview that allows two people to arrive at the starting line of what hopefully for them will be a life together. Let them have their chance. If it works out then be happy for them. If it doesn't, remember It is not up to them to live up to your expectations.

    If you think someone you care about is going to have a fall...you have a choice. You can either poke at them and make them more nervous and vulnerable by your words of warning or you can support them and encourage them and be there for them as a soft place to fall if they need it.

    Tomorrow you are going to get up and go about your life in the same way as you always do. Jillian and Ed are not going to come and tell you how you should think or feel or act so give them the courtesy of doing the same.
    Wonderful post! And I did not think Jillian was an embarrassment to anyone or any nationality. Jillian is a certain type of girl. She speaks her mind and does what she wants and doesn't really worry about how it will be "presented" to the world. For me personally, these are the types of women who I love. These are the types of women who won't frill around about their hair or what type of lipstick to wear, but whom you can go out to dinner or for a drink with and have a real discussion. These are the types of women who will be there at 2am when your heart is breaking and you need a shoulder to lean on. I would choose someone like Jillian as someone to call a friend any day of the week. I have been accused all my life of being brutally honest, to the point of being rude sometimes. And yes, I am still growing and sometimes need to learn how to say things more tactfully. But I am never going to sugar coat things and dance around issues. One thing people have always said about me is that you always know where you stand with me. Those are the types of people that I think are real and honest - and those are the people I will always want in my life.

  3. #193
    FORT Fanatic lavender1960's Avatar
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    If Ed is uncomfortable with the limelight whatever possessed him to sign up for the show in the first place then?

    Esp if he wasn't exactly single and lacking for affection.

  4. #194
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    I agree Katydyd, the most important thing is finding someone who accepts you for you NOW. And if you grow together, naturally, not being forced, that's the best way to do it.

    However, one caveat. If he accepts you for who you are now what happens if you want and need to grow but he doesn't want you to change. He is threatened by it. That is the flipside. I think this happens especially to couples who marry quite young and I am sure we've all seen it happen if not experienced it.

    So how do you find someone who accepts you for who you are now but also will support you and you support them if they want to make positive changes in their life. Hopefully if you have that strong friendship and foundation and you keep the relationship a priority it isn't a problem.

    Frankly I find it amazing anyone gets married, bwah. Guess you just have to have the "leap of faith".

  5. #195
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by lavender1960;3628463;
    I agree Katydyd, the most important thing is finding someone who accepts you for you NOW. And if you grow together, naturally, not being forced, that's the best way to do it.

    However, one caveat. If he accepts you for who you are now what happens if you want and need to grow but he doesn't want you to change. He is threatened by it. That is the flipside. I think this happens especially to couples who marry quite young and I am sure we've all seen it happen if not experienced it.

    So how do you find someone who accepts you for who you are now but also will support you and you support them if they want to make positive changes in their life. Hopefully if you have that strong friendship and foundation and you keep the relationship a priority it isn't a problem.

    Frankly I find it amazing anyone gets married, bwah. Guess you just have to have the "leap of faith".
    Well, don't get me started on the last question!!

    As for the rest of your post - my thoughts, again, for what they are worth. If someone doesn't want you to change, then they aren't really accepting you for who or what you are. At least in my situation, you love the person as they are and are fine if they never change. But you love the person innately - not with conditions. So if the person decides they want to change, because you love them, you love and support them through that as well - but you are clear that you are not EXPECTING them to do anything to change in order to "keep" the love. The hope is that you continue to grow together. And no, that doesn't always work - usually when one person grows and the other doesn't. But IMO, loving someone but not wanting them to change is the same as loving who someone could be but not who they are. If you love them, you love them. You want for them whatever they want for themselves. If they want to grow, then you want to help them however you can. If they don't, then you accept that and love them as they are. Make sense?

  6. #196
    FORT Fan MayJ's Avatar
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom;3628345;
    I will start by saying I agree with you. But, I don't think MF would ever go for it. And to be honest, I am starting to think the viewing public, regardless of what they say, wouldn't either. Let's look at some facts:

    1. The ending of Jason's season, when all the stuff about the big scandal leaked out, was the biggest ratings grabber the franchise has had in years.

    2. At the beginning of every season, this season included, I can't believe how many comments get posted about how boring the season is. It is only once the drama kicks into high gear that people start getting invested and comment and watch.

    So, much as people say they just want to see a love story, I unfortunately do not think that is true for many. I think what they mostly hate is that they feel like they are being duped. Sort of like they like the drama and action, but want to know that it is real drama and action, not fabricated. I think a plain, old, boring love story would be a ratings bomb. That is JMO, based on what I have seen people post over the seasons.
    GOOD POINTS.... I still think he's afraid to risk that conscience transplant .... imo he underestimates the universal attraction of an old-fashioned, forthright love story ..... lots of suspense, hopefully clean, but free of the imposed misrepresentation, bad acting, and dabbling in sleeze.... in this troubled, negative world, what SHOULD attract the most positive kind of ratings is disqualified for 'lack of drama'???

    Dear Mr. Fleiss... find some time to add wisdom to your literary deficit... Sir Arthur Conan Doyle says it better than I ever could:

    "LIFE IS INFINITELY STRANGER THAN ANYTHING WHICH THE MIND OF MAN (read tptb?) COULD INVENT... IF WE COULD FLY OUT OF THAT WINDOW (read tptb bored room?)... HOVER OVER THIS GREAT CITY (read watch leaving limos in the real order, real conversation, real topics in real sequence with real reactions, getting to know real personalities,etc, etc, etc,)... AND PEEP IN (read get the DVD recorder to work) AT THE QUEER THINGS WHICH ARE GOING ON (read fun dates but nix the set-ups), THE STRANGE CO-INCIDENCES (read splice & dice no competition), THE PLANNINGS (read beats any MF storybored), THE CROSS PURPOSES (read bad actors need not apply) , THE WONDERFUL CHAINS OF EVENTS...LEADING TO THE MOST OUTRE (ie unexpected) RESULTS, IT WOULD MAKE ALL FICTION, WITH ITS CONVENTIONALITIES AND FORSEEN CONCLUSIONS, (read plan & edit, yes, but cruelty, lies, & sleeze for ratings n/a), MOST STALE AND UNPROFITABLE (read $=entertainment without shame)......"
    .......via Sherlock Holmes in " A Case of Identity"

    Have a great TB-free day!

  7. #197
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by lavender1960;3628241;
    That will certainly be Ed's position.

    Serial womanizers are very slick, he could have Jillian completely snowed and may continue until he makes a fatal error.

    I've seen it and heard similar behaviour with my own eyes and ears - that is why it is very hard to be a friend who finds out someone's husband [or wife as the case may be] is cheating on them - if you tell, they'll shoot you, the messenger, especially if homeboy, who has been lying to his wife all along so he's prepared for this and has a plausible answer for everything but if you don't say anything and your friend finds out you knew you were a traitor. Sigh. I would bet that some women won't even believe photographs or a videotape. Only if the other woman lands on her doorstep one day or she actually catches them in the act.

    Now if you have an open marriage as some people do, whatever. Maybe Ed and Jillian are closet swingers. Hey there are people like that you know. More the merrier. Not my concept of a relationship.
    but true. Show me one smartwoman, when it comes to a man.

  8. #198
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by TrailingWife;3627352;
    "...if you have now met me and fallen for me, then you have to show it. If you have or had a girlfriend, then we give her a call and you break up with her and we move forward."
    Way to go Jillian! Of course, that's all fine and dandy until you're the one that gets the call LOL.

    How ironic would it be if that's how Ed chooses to break up with her?
    This statement has always bothered me. Then "we" give her a call...
    Whoa, I also wonder how she would like it if Ed and his new gf give her a call.

    I also think by this statement Jill has broken Woman Code!!!!

  9. #199
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by atlMD;3627995;
    Has Jillian really moved in or she's spending sometime right now? I thought she said she'll be moving in with him in September. Move in now or later is a bad idea IMO. I think they could afford to see each other twice a month and gradually develop a stronger relationship, get to know each other on a more real basis, afterall, Ed is rich and I am sure they can afford to fly back and forth. I just think Jillian should think hard before moving herself to a whole new environment. Right now everything seems rushed, they just need to take things easy and slow down some but ofcourse I am not Jillian and wouldn't have settled for Ed under any circumstance so...........
    I hope by moving in now she gets to see move of the real Ed now rather than later.

  10. #200
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    Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by blasie;3628224;
    In most circumstances I would have to agree with you, but if I were Jillian, I would want to keep someone like Ed on a very short leash. Let me say that I would never be interested in someone like Ed.

    Was Jillian's dating history, other than with Jason which doesn't count, ever discussed? I recall her negative remark about the commitment issues of the men in Vancouver, but did she ever allude to serious relationships and their length? From a woman's point of view I thought that she knew how to play up her best features and was cute. From a man's view-point she may have been missing the physical features that they consider to be desirable. In my experience, women like this develop great flirting skills and are likely to play the s*x card very early to keep men interested.......as if to say,"I may not be drop dead gorgeous, but look what I will do."

    She was not on my list during Bach 13. She looked well-dressed and well-groomed, but the Condiment Theory struck me as a lame pick-up strategy.
    Her 1-on-1 date made me cringe as did the dancing and singing on the bar. She came across as phony and contrived. That carried right through her season until Reid's HTD. She emerged from the phoniness and showed an endearing Jillian/Reid couple. She was herself....and that's who she wants to get away from. She wants to be Paris Hilton and hook up with a bunch of guys and not be called out for it. She wants to be engaged in front of the world, at least once, maybe every six months....who knows. I am waiting for the release of her first perfume........ which would smell like snow and flowers....oh yeah and gasoline.

    There is nothing about Ed and Jillian as a couple or as individuals that could hold my interest.......I avoid their videos, I skip over them in articles, I fast forward their segments on dvr because it makes me uncomfortable to watch two people who seem to be trying too hard to show that they are in love. It is much like listening to music that is not in tune.


    Actually I still do like Jillian, just don't like how she is around Ed.
    Last edited by pavalygurl; 07-31-2009 at 04:17 PM.

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