Jillian wanted marriage over everything else?

As the title of this thread states -- Did Jillian want marriage over everything else? Hmmm, I don't know but I do think somewhere along the way TPTB encouraged her to focus on this. She was looking primarily for SIGNS OF COMMITMENT from the guys. Now, this is not a bad idea because WILLINGNESS TO COMMIT = LOVE is generally true where men are concerned. However, she came to believe that Ed's return represented commitment from him. Instead, it was all ABC's idea. She listened to his saying "I love you" "I will propose" and believed these statements over all else, including her emotions.

I'm not sure where she got the idea that saying "I will propose" was so important, but no one was helping her see her way clear to properly judge these men. I'm not sure why it is so easy for all of us at home to see who really loved her but yet Jill was clueless. I just do not understand that. I think this show majorly screwed with her mind and now she is left with the aftermath, much like Melissa. It is all so wrong on so many levels. I hope Jill talks to Melissa, that would be a good thing.

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Originally Posted by smilingmomof3;3643271;

As the title of this thread states -- Did Jillian want marriage over everything else? Hmmm, I don't know but I do think somewhere along the way TPTB encouraged her to focus on this. She was looking primarily for SIGNS OF COMMITMENT from the guys. Now, this is not a bad idea because WILLINGNESS TO COMMIT = LOVE is generally true where men are concerned. However, she came to believe that Ed's return represented commitment from him. Instead, it was all ABC's idea. She listened to his saying "I love you" "I will propose" and believed these statements over all else, including her emotions.

I'm not sure where she got the idea that saying "I will propose" was so important, but no one was helping her see her way clear to properly judge these men. I'm not sure why it is so easy for all of us at home to see who really loved her but yet Jill was clueless. I just do not understand that. I think this show majorly screwed with her mind and now she is left with the aftermath, much like Melissa. It is all so wrong on so many levels. I hope Jill talks to Melissa, that would be a good thing.

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I think she was really living in a bubble with a whole bunch of production people probably impressing on her that she wouldn't be considered successful unless she came out of this with an engagement. That's why we could see it and she couldn't. We aren't living under the same manipulation and pressure.

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Originally Posted by HillCntryGrl;3643054;

ITA Jillian strikes me as the kind of woman who made a decision and is going to stick with it till the bitter end. There is no way she is not having doubts but for the sake of her reputation and the show, she is going to put on that 'happy' face for awhile longer and defend her man. I'm sure many of us have done the same thing and can sympathize. She will figure it out on her own (or not) but come hell or high water 2 ex/gf's are not going to run her show! I think she is digging in her heels and prepared to ride out the storm. I think that was evident during her GMA interview. Wow. She wants this relationship and, by golly, she's going to have it and they are going to be happy and get married and have kids.....All we can say at this point is 'Good Luck'. As so many people have stated, she is going to need it.

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As a middle-aged, divorced woman who has been through the type of denial I see Jillian now exhibiting, denying what was so glaringly obvious to everyone but me, I will say Jillian isn't going to see what is going on until she walks in on Ed with another woman.

Jillian is going to have to learn via the school of hard knocks. Some things must be learned through experience. No intervention is going to help this girl!

Her eye is on 'the prize', the man, the engagement, the (cough) happily ever after....I hope she doesn't spend too many years 'making this work' before she walks in on Ed with 'the other woman' and finally wakes up.....

Again, the only way she is going to 'get it'.....:sad IMO

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Originally Posted by BachfanNY;3639488;

CH said at one point that he wasn't sure why there wasn't more love for Ed. When I read that I was like WOAA...hold up, if they knew about Ed, Why would he say something like that.

Call me naive, but I don't think CH new about those girls. I think Ed fleissed, Fliess big time here and now ABC is taking advantage of the PR.

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I personally can't believe that CH didn't know about the girlfriend situation and I can't believe how stupid and naive CH is being now about it on his Twitter page. Unless he's just playing dumb for Jillian's sake?

I think CH knew as did Fliess and the whole lot of them. They don't care if Jill gets hurt and if CH did he wouldn't tell her anyway for fear of losing his job. Now he has to pretend none of it is true and he didn't know because ABC will never admit to being complicit in all of this.

If Ed shared anything with Jill during filming i.e. leaving not for work but to deal with g/f that should have been 2 red flags that Jill ignored. Big mistake.

It's pretty funny when I read that she wanted a commitment from a guy, after what, 3 weeks. She's a bit hypocritical because today in an interview I read that she did with a news agency in Canada, she stated she had a hard time with commitment. She said it was hard for her to commit to a relationship. Yet she was not understanding of Reid not wanting to say the L word so soon and him having issues with commitment. Instead of being supportive I think she was just looking for the guy who was going to tell her what she wanted to hear. But why be a hypocrite?

I find the posts here so refreshing. Over on the ABC site, the women are crazy. They are blaming these girls, they're saying that they are lying. What prof do they have? They are unreliable because they say they sold their story. I'm flabbergasted by it all. I can't believe that sane women would make such irrational statements. I mean the writing is on the wall. What more do they want? Videos?

During one interview, during the time the show was airing, I remember Jillian saying that an engagement didn't mean marriage right away, but a promise to see where it leads. I thought it an odd statement at the time. It actually made me think she picked Reid at the time.

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Originally Posted by valentinechick;3645183;

I find the posts here so refreshing. Over on the ABC site, the women are crazy. They are blaming these girls, they're saying that they are lying. What prof do they have? They are unreliable because they say they sold their story. I'm flabbergasted by it all. I can't believe that sane women would make such irrational statements. I mean the writing is on the wall. What more do they want? Videos?

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Seriously!!! Thank god for your post :biglove

I have been thinking about the topic of this thread and overall I would answer - yes, marriage was one of Jillian's critical decision criteria!

That in itself is not a bad thing. Jillian was someone who was looking to settle down and she felt only a marriage proposal would do it! The real question is does her choice make her relationship with Ed more or less likely to last. I guess the answer to that lies with where Ed is on this subject. Jillian has obviously decided to dig in her heels and make her position known. If Ed feels the same way, than there is a chance that something good could come out of this mess.

While I certainly do not condone Ed's behavior (and I am saying that while giving him the benefit of the doubt on goings on after the engagement), I have known similar guys and they can be capable of turning around with the right person. Is Jillian that person, and more importantly, is Ed willing to change?!? I guess only time will tell.

I also think that discussing the faults of the various parties here only serves TPTBs promotion and is immaterial in the big picture. There is unfortunately nobody who comes out smelling like a rose (pun intended :)) from all of this.

The only clear winner is Fleiss' bank account - that for me is the saddest part of this story! :crying