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Thread: Ed - Bachelorette 5

  1. #6161
    Team Choca. Brad who?! Alanna's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Alexxxx;3651336;
    sweetpea, can you help me understand something? I'm not trying to be difficult here, I really just don't understand. How does the nature of Lindsey's relationship with Ed make any difference at all? Say that she is just a booty call to Ed, and not an ongoing serious relationship as she claims. Ed still made a booty call to her after he was engaged to Jillian. Ed did. Ed's actions. Ed's fault. What am I missing?
    Thank you. I don't understand what Lindsey has to do with anything. Yes, she was dumb and made some of the worst decisions regarding this dude I've ever seen a woman make. But it's Ed's actions. He was supposed to be engaged to another woman and he didn't honor that in any way.
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    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea;3651330;
    Of course not! What I am saying is I don't believe these girls, particularly Lindsey, were completely in la-la land with respect to their relationship to Ed. They can say or imply that now, but I don't believe it is true. She just couldn't have been that completely taken in, IMO.
    like alexxx - I'm not getting your point. Ed is the one that betrayed all of their trust, including Jillian. Ed is the one that had something to hide ... Ed is the one that cheated on them all ... why does Ed get to lay some of the "blame" on the girls?? in believing him, they, like Jillian were/are only fooling themselves but I don't see how that let's Ed off the hook, even if only half-way.
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  3. #6163
    Forum Assistant sweetpea's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Alexxxx;3651336;
    sweetpea, can you help me understand something? I'm not trying to be difficult here, I really just don't understand. How does the nature of Lindsey's relationship with Ed make any difference at all? Say that she is just a booty call to Ed, and not an ongoing serious relationship as she claims. Ed still made a booty call to her after he was engaged to Jillian. Ed did. Ed's actions. Ed's fault. What am I missing?
    It doesn't excuse his bad behaviour, but like Bloomers said above, the tendency is to blame Ed for everything (at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he was responsible for all the ills of the world) and I'm merely trying to point out that this US story is very one-sided, it presents their side and nothing else, and it only shows what will support that side. If, as I believe, there is more to their relationship and more to the story that isn't being told because this is a victim's story, then it may help to explain (note I didn't say excuse) the behaviour on both sides and perhaps show us that Ed may not be as evil as people are making him out to be. Of course, that is my view of things.

    ETA, I guess we're going to have to do the old "agree to disagree" thing here. I don't believe things are always so black and white and I continue to believe that the nature of their relationships may have contributed to the bad behaviour Ed displayed to these girls. And please, before you jump all over me, I'm not saying what happened was RIGHT I'm merely saying I believe there is more to the story that we aren't getting, and I am not willing to jump on the bandwagon and paint this guy as solely at fault when I feel I don't know the whole story, I only know what these girls are saying is the truth.
    Last edited by sweetpea; 08-09-2009 at 12:31 PM.

  4. #6164
    FORT Fogey cheekychook's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by pattycake92;3651240;
    Sorry I tend to agree with bloomers. I really can't see how either girl thought they were in a committed relationship with ed. They knew he went on a dating show. Neither girl lived with him and they both had stuff at his place. And again, he went on several overnight trips with another woman (and they admit they knew about this at least by Spain). The only victim I see here is jillian. Jmo

    They thought they were in a committed relationship with Ed because he told them it was.

    They thought he loved them because he told them he did.

    They didn't want him to go on The Bachelorette, but he did, in spite of their protests, and he said it was no big deal and he'd be back in a few weeks. And low and behold, after a few weeks of torture wondering when he was coming home he came home---just like he said he would---and he spent time with them---just like he promised---and he told them he wasn't into Jillian---to reaffirm that they were just being foolish for having worried.

    The girls did not know he was dating others---he made sure to keep that secret--I don't know how, but he did, and he's not exactly inventing the wheel here, it's been done by countless people before Ed.

    Ed traveled a lot for business. They never knew he was off with other women, then though he was away on business. Often he was. Often he was not. Again, Ed made them feel foolish if they expressed worry in regard to his lines.

    When they finally found out he was in Spain they did both tell him to get lost. HE is the one who pursued both of them to win them back. He didn't try hard enough with Bethany, so he didn't get her back---he assumed she'd come running but she didn't. He was left disappointed. With Lindsey they had more history so he had more to draw on---he worked very hard at convincing her to take him back. Her only mistake is believing him.

    Ed had choices to make all along the way here. He could have opted to not have 2 girlfriends at the same time, period. He could have opted to pass on the Bachelorette when his girlfriends became upset about it. He could have dumped them when he decided to go on the show, instead he strung them along telling them it was no big deal. He could have stayed on the show and not returned home mid-season. If he HAD to return home he could have told both girls "it's over" instead of sleeping with both of them, convincing them the show had been no big deal, and lying to them when he left again. When he "caught" in Spain by them he could have dumped them both permanently. Instead he proposed to Jillian and then STILL went after these other women.

    One thing that is not evident from the US Weekly article, but that I know for a fact, is that Bethany and Lindsey are both very, very private people. They were horrified, mortified, and stupefied by what Ed did. They didn't want their names out there---their names came out because people sleuthed them out. They didn't want to be humiliated in front of their friends, family and coworkers, but they were by Ed's actions. By the time these women decided to go public with their story they had no other choice---the story was out there and was spiraling and the only way to get the CORRECT, TRUTHFUL version out there was to speak up for themselves.

    I agree, Jillian is a victim. She's a victim of Ed's behavior just like many, many other women. Ed's disregard for other people is, IMO, staggering.
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    FORT Fanatic gruder's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Nibbles22;3650368;
    Do you have *proof* to discredit what has been outlined in the US Weekly?
    Do you have information that would prove the dates are incorrect, or the statements made are false? I am open to facts coming forth to prove they
    are incorrect. Do you have any?
    As I have said in the past...would it really matter?

  6. #6166
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Barme123;3650276;
    If anyone ever texted me "bring beer and condoms" I would pretty much know where our "relationship" stood and would be out of there. But then again, I am level headed and have respect for myself.... so that brings me back to my first point above. They must not fall into the "level headed, respected" catagory of girls.
    Bold and all caps so it cannot be missed:

    BETHANY HAD DUMPED ED AND WAS MERELY GOIN TO HIS HOUSE TO PICK UP HER THINGS WHEN HE TEXTED HER WITH THAT. SHE DID NOT FALL FOR IT. IN FACT, SHE SAID SHE LEFT "IN DISGUST".

    Good grief! Have you guys READ THE ARTICLE? I don't know many times I've seen these comments but it is right in the article and interview in plain english. She did NOT FALL FOR IT. In fact, Ed lamented to their mutual friend how bummed he was that she did NOT fall for it.

    UGH

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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by omagirl;3651245;
    I think to compare Ed to Jeffrey Dahmer, a murderer is reflective of what we need to get away from. It is uncalled for, unecessary and very mean spirited. Rumors and a rag like US weekly does not the truth make. Give them some space.

    I dont know Ed , jillian or the two girls but I know that it is important to share an opinion with civilty and keep away from uncalled meaness.
    I agree. No matter how much you dislike him, comparing Ed to a serial killer is wrong.

    I am in the same age range and just got out of graduate school. I don't like it, but the reality is in this generation having multiple partners, "sexting", and just "hooking up" is normal and acceptable behavior. It doesn't make it right, but there are a lot of guys and girls doing the exact same thing all over the US.

  8. #6168
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook;3651362;
    They thought they were in a committed relationship with Ed because he told them it was.

    They thought he loved them because he told them he did.

    They didn't want him to go on The Bachelorette, but he did, in spite of their protests, and he said it was no big deal and he'd be back in a few weeks. And low and behold, after a few weeks of torture wondering when he was coming home he came home---just like he said he would---and he spent time with them---just like he promised---and he told them he wasn't into Jillian---to reaffirm that they were just being foolish for having worried.

    The girls did not know he was dating others---he made sure to keep that secret--I don't know how, but he did, and he's not exactly inventing the wheel here, it's been done by countless people before Ed.

    Ed traveled a lot for business. They never knew he was off with other women, then though he was away on business. Often he was. Often he was not. Again, Ed made them feel foolish if they expressed worry in regard to his lines.

    When they finally found out he was in Spain they did both tell him to get lost. HE is the one who pursued both of them to win them back. He didn't try hard enough with Bethany, so he didn't get her back---he assumed she'd come running but she didn't. He was left disappointed. With Lindsey they had more history so he had more to draw on---he worked very hard at convincing her to take him back. Her only mistake is believing him.

    Ed had choices to make all along the way here. He could have opted to not have 2 girlfriends at the same time, period. He could have opted to pass on the Bachelorette when his girlfriends became upset about it. He could have dumped them when he decided to go on the show, instead he strung them along telling them it was no big deal. He could have stayed on the show and not returned home mid-season. If he HAD to return home he could have told both girls "it's over" instead of sleeping with both of them, convincing them the show had been no big deal, and lying to them when he left again. When he "caught" in Spain by them he could have dumped them both permanently. Instead he proposed to Jillian and then STILL went after these other women.

    One thing that is not evident from the US Weekly article, but that I know for a fact, is that Bethany and Lindsey are both very, very private people. They were horrified, mortified, and stupefied by what Ed did. They didn't want their names out there---their names came out because people sleuthed them out. They didn't want to be humiliated in front of their friends, family and coworkers, but they were by Ed's actions. By the time these women decided to go public with their story they had no other choice---the story was out there and was spiraling and the only way to get the CORRECT, TRUTHFUL version out there was to speak up for themselves.

    I agree, Jillian is a victim. She's a victim of Ed's behavior just like many, many other women. Ed's disregard for other people is, IMO, staggering.
    As usual, very eloguently put.

    I really need to read the US article, somebody said it was scanned and posted at JU, I looked but couldn't find it...I don't need it to convince myself, just want to read it for myself. Anybody remember the thread title I could find it in?
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  9. #6169
    FORT Lover JustHereInOhio's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Alexxxx;3651336;
    sweetpea, can you help me understand something? I'm not trying to be difficult here, I really just don't understand. How does the nature of Lindsey's relationship with Ed make any difference at all? Say that she is just a booty call to Ed, and not an ongoing serious relationship as she claims. Ed still made a booty call to her after he was engaged to Jillian. Ed did. Ed's actions. Ed's fault. What am I missing?

    IMO - This is where is the story starts to get muddled and this is where Lindsey's story does not make sense. She has known Ed a long time. hung out with him and their mutal friends enough she would have and should have know him better. She would have seen how he treated women.
    UNLESS - Ed did not date anyone during the first 5 out of 7-8 years she has known him. Then I could see how she would not have know what type of man he is. That would explain it. SO, do you think Ed did not date anyone those first 5 years she knew him?


    ABSOLTELY not!!

  10. #6170
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by gruder;3651372;
    As I have said in the past...would it really matter?
    If it was as convincing as the US article and all the past posts, yes it would.
    I hate to brag but I tried on some earrings that I wore in highschool... and they still fit
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