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Thread: Ed - Bachelorette 5

  1. #6131
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by JustHereInOhio;3651268;
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bloomers
    Agree with all of this; however, there is a predominant tendency to just blame Ed in all of this. Although his actions are indeed deplorable, he is not the only one who is at fault here.
    Unfortunately, if we are honest, Lindsey and Bethany allowed themselves to become victims. When Ed decided to go on a dating show where he would be one suitor of 25-30 for 1 woman for whatever reason he gave, Lindsey should have intuitively understood that he wasn't as in love with her as he should be.
    When he spoke of a spin-off where he would be the man with 25 women pursuing him, as much as it hurt Lindsey, at that point she should have told herself that Ed was not in love with her regardless of what he said. His actions were speaking louder than his words.

    I am appalled that Bethany allowed Ed to speak to her in the manner that he did. That is simply unconscionable and
    unacceptable. As a well-educated woman of the next generation, I would say to her to never allow a man to speak to her in such a disrespectful manner as is she were a woman of ill repute. I would insist on better, and if he refused, I would walk off. If he didn't comply, then that one wasn't worth it.
    (BTW, just as added aside, one thing that I have read over and over in women's magazines is that when men are surveyed, they reply that the one trait they admire the most in women is confidence. Therefore, I would add that single women should have a healthy dose of self-respect.)






    IA with BLOOMERS. It takes two.

    There are just some things that are not adding up, after reading the US story it left me with more holes and questions.

    also, one again we did not get to see the whole pictue through the US story. We did not get to see the WHOLE text/emails, we did did not get to see the WHOLE conversation. We only got to see the LINES they wanted us to see.

    I will say I do not think Bethany knew everything that was going on and what Ed what doing to her. When she did find out, she got her things from Ed's place and dropped him like a hot potato - Good for her!

    HOWEVER, my opinion of Lindsey is completely different and I was trying to give her the benifit of doubt - until I ready the US story because:
    What are your thought on this?

    This is why I do not think what Lindsey is stating is completely true. This is why I think her and Ed were friends with benifits.
    Lindsey and Ed are old time college friends, right? What 7-8 years, right? - if anyone would know Ed and how he was and how he acted and treated women - SHE WOULD....nothing would probably change my mind on that. She of all people would know Ed best - Lindsey would have and has seen him in action if that be the case. If he was soooo terrible and treated women sooo bad - this is where I was trying to give her the benifit of doubt - I really do not think even she herself (Linsey) would have started dating him if he was that bad.
    So, Ed gets a pass and it's all the girls fault?? hmmmmmmmm ... who's fault is it, in your opinion, when a guy punches a girl in the mouth for telling him he's a jerk...... the guy for being violent or the girl for provoking his anger?? or are they both guilty?? IMO the "blame" for the assault rests squarely on the guys shoulders... maybe others see it different. IMO this is also how I see what Ed did to the girls, including Jillian. If she would have walked away instead of siding with him, I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for her but now she's enabling Ed to continue with his lying.
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  2. #6132
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    LMAO LMAO! I knew this guy was such a fraud. I'm glad these girls decided to come out. and isn't it just ironic that RS knew about Lindsey way before she went to the press? Jillian, get out while you can.

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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by northernviewer;3651220;
    sorry Bloomer but I don't get how we can put "blame" on a victim - that just making excuses for Ed IMO. First of all, they did it unknowingly, they fell for a smooth talker and user and believed what he said - are they just as desparate and needy as Jillian... probably but in no way should they be blamed for what Ed did. He carries this on his shoulders, and his shoulders alone - there are just no excuses for men who prey on the weak, whether it be physically or mentally. It's about control, and that's what Ed did, control them with lies.
    I agree that the blame for this whole sordid mess falls squarely on Ed's shoulders. Unfortunately, the resolution also falls on Ed's shoulders. Either he comes forward with proof that B/L are liars, or he fesses up, and accepts Jillian's actions, whatever they may be. That day may never come.

  4. #6134
    FORT Lover JustHereInOhio's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by jlccaz;3651281;
    Many women suffer from the "UNTIL HE MET ME" FANTASY (or in her case, until we became romantically involved). It's an overdone plot theme in romance novels, James Bond movies, romantic comedies, etc. "Sure, he played the field ... but only until we met!" CUE MUSIC.

    As for Jillian, the words of love and marriage he spoke to her I am sure were spoken even less sincerely, more glibly.

    He was playing out a game in front of cameras. STORYBOARDED out since the Dawn of the Series:
    Episode 1: you meet in a crowded room; sparks fly
    Episode 2-3-4: you grab Precious Moments away from the crowd; you share first kisses; you date/have exciting adventures
    Episode 5: you think it could be leading somewhere really special
    Episode 6 (/7 this year): you meet the family
    Episode 8/9: you spend the night together; love is in the air ("can't stop thinking about you")
    Episode 10 = you meet family/propose marriage.

    All compressed into 6-8 weeks, isolated from family and routine, upside down travel and filming schedules, with Jabbering Producers meddling, meddling, meddling with their questions and constant discussion of love, and competition, and marriage.

    In THIS respect -- by treating the whole thing as a J-O-K-E -- Ed is the only one with his head screwed on straight!

    The people who WATCH this show year after year thinking that this schedule produces a couple actually planning to marry are more "fooled" than Lindsey and Bethany were combined!
    Can't resist adding a link to favorite article, that should be in a Sticky Thread entitled 'PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING' TV WATCH; Blurring Reality With Soap Suds - The New York Times

    I do not disagree with you on this conserning Jillian and Ed.
    I do not disagree that Ed was dating two women at the same time.
    This is just why I think Lindsey story is not all that creditable. IMO - There are lots of wholes in this story. Just saying she would have know Ed better than or just as much as anyone in THIER GROUP. They had not been dating the whole 7-8 years they have known each other, just the last couple years. IMO - I believe she would have seen him in action on more than one occation, she would have known HOW he treated women.

  5. #6135
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Where are all the other friends (his, theirs, etc) to come out and speak on the girls behalf? Like the friends that came to this board and posted - why were they not interviewed? They shared friends, right? Surely others may know "the truth" - but yet no one but these two girls and "unnamed sources" are talking?

    Fishy.

    Personally, I think the lot of you are taking this too far, getting too caught up, and are reacting WAY to venomously - it's kind of scary!! I would guess that likely is one of the reasons WHY Jillian and Ed do not indulge this story with more details.

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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by northernviewer;3651292;
    So, Ed gets a pass and it's all the girls fault?? hmmmmmmmm ... who's fault is it, in your opinion, when a guy punches a girl in the mouth for telling him he's a jerk...... the guy for being violent or the girl for provoking his anger?? or are they both guilty?? IMO the "blame" for the assault rests squarely on the guys shoulders... maybe others see it different. IMO this is also how I see what Ed did to the girls, including Jillian. If she would have walked away instead of siding with him, I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for her but now she's enabling Ed to continue with his lying.
    Or, how about the classic: if she hadn't been dressed so alluringly I wouldn't have raped her.
    " A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one". Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by northernviewer;3651292;
    So, Ed gets a pass and it's all the girls fault?? hmmmmmmmm ... who's fault is it, in your opinion, when a guy punches a girl in the mouth for telling him he's a jerk...... the guy for being violent or the girl for provoking his anger?? or are they both guilty?? IMO the "blame" for the assault rests squarely on the guys shoulders... maybe others see it different. IMO this is also how I see what Ed did to the girls, including Jillian. If she would have walked away instead of siding with him, I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for her but now she's enabling Ed to continue with his lying.
    northernviewer with all due respect, that's pretty harsh. Of course nobody is equating this with violence towards women and blaming the victim there. To some here, I am sure, this kind of thing has impacted their lives, and to equate it with a romantic dispute played out on a reality tv show and afterwards is not fair or true, imo. To anyone who has actually been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour, well, my heart goes out to you...

    Let's keep this in perspective. We're talking a couple who obviously have had issues in their relationship. They dated off and on for how long? She found earrings in his place and assumed they were from what? A one-night-stand while they were 'on a break'? Your boyfriend says he is going on a dating show for a joke, and promises it's nothing...yet you aren't suspicious, you just wait at home until he comes back because maybe you'll be engaged by the end of the year? It sounds like they had a messed up complicated relationship (who doesn't??) and so yes, I do see her sharing some of the blame. If he was that awful then I think she knew it, but didn't want to believe it, and so continued the relationship even though it was demeaning and probably disrespectful to herself to do so. So Ed, if he treated her badly, deserves a huge heaping of blame, but Lindsey should take her share as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by annabanana2;3651302;
    Or, how about the classic: if she hadn't been dressed so alluringly I wouldn't have raped her.
    Again, harsh. Nobody here is equating the seriousness of that with the story of a girl who found out her boyfriend has cheated on her. It's putting words in people's mouths that aren't there, IMO, and again equating something so serious with this story is unnecessary, IMO.
    Last edited by sweetpea; 08-09-2009 at 11:55 AM.

  8. #6138
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    domestic violence, serial killer murders and rape references have NO PLACE in this discussion.

  9. #6139
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Ihopeforthebest;3650546;

    thank you for sharing that, as an attorney, your opinion is impressive, you should know, and I believe there is power in your opinion. The headbanging is how I feel when people won't believe evidence.

    I am absolutely floored how anyone can defend Ed one iota with all that has been presented and his super smug attitude. He is a cad and that is all there is to it. Wake up people. Heaven knows, Jillian hasn't yet.

  10. #6140
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Barme123;3651301;
    Where are all the other friends (his, theirs, etc) to come out and speak on the girls behalf? Like the friends that came to this board and posted - why were they not interviewed? They shared friends, right? Surely others may know "the truth" - but yet no one but these two girls and "unnamed sources" are talking?

    Fishy.

    Personally, I think the lot of you are taking this too far, getting too caught up, and are reacting WAY to venomously - it's kind of scary!! I would guess that likely is one of the reasons WHY Jillian and Ed do not indulge this story with more details.
    Other sources have been talking for over a month or so now, the 2 gf's are the last to come forward. The story is just breaking in the media now, not just the boards, so I'm sure there is more to come. I wouldn't be surprised to if there are more girls that he's used besides the ones we know about.... but then again, many will just accuse them of fabricating it all, so why bother There's been sources that can't come forward, as they are close to production and could get lose their jobs over it, so they'll stay silent.

    There's enough "smoke" coming from so many different sources to convince me and the majority that there's a fire burning somewhere
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