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Thread: Ed - Bachelorette 5

  1. #6111
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by omagirl;3651187;
    Guys, lets give Ed and jillian some space. Get off Ed's case. He is smart, looks good and has a sense of humor, and is very attached to his family. he may have faults but which one of us doesnt? There was a love story on screen between Ed and Jillian. whether they make it is really up to them know. She did not look happy on GMA which is understandable given the negative press and events. Neither did Ed. Lets stop all this negative speculation. Anyone who has any real knowledge of the media knows that 'the spin' can be very far from the truth; this is even worse in rags like US weekly..

    Remember half baked knowledge is dangerous. the story in US weekly is half-baked... you are only getting one side presented with a spin from a group of people who are paid to make stories more salacious for financial gain. People lets use our heads and show some empathy...

    Give them a break and move on.
    Jeffrey Dahmer was also good looking and charming, and managed to coax many women into his car. Oh, that's right, he also ended up KILLING THEM. Being good looking and charming doesn't necessarily guarantee high morality and ethics.

    The US Weekly story is a little more credible than "half-baked", and I am anxiously waiting Ed's side of the story. He can provide emails and texts to show how he didn't say/do any of the "alleged" things that the women are claiming. I just find it a little hard to believe that two women (who don't know each other) came forward with the same story and timeline. Methinks they are not full of b*llsh*t.

    Per the second bolded item: If the media can "spin" a story, then a tv show such as the bachelorette can easily "spin" a story as well. I believe that sdl is right, and that ABC leaked the story.

  2. #6112
    FORT Fogey Cailg's Avatar
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by northernviewer;3651220;
    sorry Bloomer but I don't get how we can put "blame" on a victim - that just making excuses for Ed IMO. First of all, they did it unknowingly, they fell for a smooth talker and user and believed what he said - are they just as desparate and needy as Jillian... probably but in no way should they be blamed for what Ed did. He carries this on his shoulders, and his shoulders alone - there are just no excuses for men who prey on the weak, whether it be physically or mentally. It's about control, and that's what Ed did, control them with lies.
    Good points! People are quick to wonder where the ex girlfriends' self respect is, but I'm wondering where the heck Jillian's is.

  3. #6113
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloomers;3651216;
    Agree with all of this; however, there is a predominant tendency to just blame Ed in all of this. Although his actions are indeed deplorable, he is not the only one who is at fault here.
    Unfortunately, if we are honest, Lindsey and Bethany allowed themselves to become victims.
    Sorry Bloomers but it's like you're treating people who think Ed did the lion's share of the wrongdoing here as people who also think other parties, including B, L, and Jillian, are completely faultless. That's setting up a straw man argument and it's not a fair reading of what's going on here. Most posters here are questioning B and L's judgment not to mention Jillian's judgment now, but think Ed is by far the responsible party for this mess.

    Insecurity and low self esteem are simply not enough to create a situation where a man was simultaneously involved with 3 women and led at least 2 of them to believe he was serious about them. Insecurity and low self esteem on the part of the women is simply an enabling or permissive condition. Ed's actions - his decisions to get involved with and lie to the 3 women - are the proximate and causal agents here. There is no getting around that.

    I also think you're setting up false equivalence. Bad judgment, which all the ladies in this situation have shown, is NOT on the same level as the kind of bald-faced dishonesty Ed has displayed. There is still a glimmer of a moral compass in the 3 ladies' decision making and statements. Not so with Ed.

    By the way I didn't see the tweet from Chris the company man posted here. It's from 14 hours ago.

    Jill & Ed are obviously dealing with a lot rt now but they have NOT broken up. My best to them as always.about 14 hours ago from TwitterFon

  4. #6114
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloomers;3650550;
    I realize what he did is socially incorrect and morally unkind; however, surely you are not suggesting that it was illegal?

    I have a daughter the age of Jillian and Ed. When my generation came along, we didn't sleep with everybody walking around - men have always been loose, but women were much more discriminating. However, we dated all kinds of people until we settled down with the one person who was the one. In some ways I am having a terrible time with condemning this man for doing something that was not only entirely acceptable 25 years ago, but was encouraged as well. We were told to "play the field" until you find the right one.
    Sorry, but I do not understand where in my post you found any insinuation that Ed was doing something illegal? Evidence is evidence regardless of whether we are speaking of defending a cause of libel or being deceitful to your fiance.

  5. #6115
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Sorry I tend to agree with bloomers. I really can't see how either girl thought they were in a committed relationship with ed. They knew he went on a dating show. Neither girl lived with him and they both had stuff at his place. And again, he went on several overnight trips with another woman (and they admit they knew about this at least by Spain). The only victim I see here is jillian. Jmo

  6. #6116
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea;3651051;
    I'm not really sure that just because US Weekly uses the word "prove" I would trust it to the same degree I'd trust a balanced and thoroughly investigated article in the New York Times or Newsweek. We are, after all, talking about a celebrity entertainment magazine whose sole purpose is to print titillating articles about famous people in order to sell, sell, sell and make $$. The whole "sue them" idea is kind of silly, IMO. I'm pretty sure they figure not too many people sue for stuff like that, and if they do it's people like Catherine Zeta Jones, not some unknown whose sole claim to the front cover is he is the latest reality-tv scandal.

    Ed said it isn't true. They went on tv and denied it was true. The girls say it is. Yes, they have photos of emails and texts and other "proof". Ed did not share similar emails and texts. Maybe he had something but deleted it (something I've done, I certainly don't keep all my electronic correspondence) or maybe he has something but didn't want to share it with the world. If he did share something, perhaps something that would give context to the emails, or perhaps something damaging to the girls, what would be said about him then? That emails can be faked? That he's a cad for exposing them to humiliation? With the hate-on he's garnered, there's nothing he could say or do, IMO, to clear himself. He's better to take the silent road, frankly, and hope it all dies down eventually.

    This is, and forever will be, a circular argument. Nobody wins, in my estimation, unless all of them can just get the heck out of Dodge and live their lives the best way they can.

    Excellent logic sweetpea! ITA especially with bolded.

    I read the US Weekly article and could not miss the shock value for which it was intended. I agree that it raises alot of questions because it is not the full story and it is only that of Bethany and Lindsay's. What they had to say was disgusting and vulgar - they even mention va-GG's for heaven sake! OK, we get that the girlies are upset and feel wronged, but what are they thinking by calling negative attention to themselves without taking themselves down in the process? They admittedly were willing and consenting sexual partners with somone they say they knew had multiple partners - they made their own choice to see and sleep with Ed despite the signals they say were there. He obviously was not into them and they need to take ownership of their own actions period.

    The article begs the questions:
    --Does Lindsay really believe she is the jilted bride and is setting the stage for a breach of promise of marriage? Where is the engagement ring? There isn't one!
    --Does Bethany think by leaving jewelry in Ed's apartment she is laying claim to him, staking out her territory. Pleassssee! That is is the oldest girl trick in the book! Didn't work!

    Someone stated they would like to know what Mrs. Harris has to say about all this, well it is more like what does Mrs. Steffen and Mrs. Johnson have to say about their daughter's conduct and their desperation to "get even" by selling their story and revealing their own sexual history and behavior in a gossip magazine?! They tried to sell Ed out, but they sold themselves out in the process. Nobody wins! JMO.

  7. #6117
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    I think to compare Ed to Jeffrey Dahmer, a murderer is reflective of what we need to get away from. It is uncalled for, unecessary and very mean spirited. Rumors and a rag like US weekly does not the truth make. Give them some space.

    I dont know Ed , jillian or the two girls but I know that it is important to share an opinion with civilty and keep away from uncalled meaness.

  8. #6118
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by pattycake92;3651240;
    Sorry I tend to agree with bloomers. I really can't see how either girl thought they were in a committed relationship with ed. They knew he went on a dating show. Neither girl lived with him and they both had stuff at his place. And again, he went on several overnight trips with another woman (and they admit they knew about this at least by Spain). The only victim I see here is jillian. Jmo
    Why again should Jillian consider herself in a commited relationship with Ed? Explain that to me. Is it because he proposed? To him it was a charade, and a farce. If the commitment was there to Jillian ~ why the continued texts, emails and phone calls to the other girlfriends? Why did he have sex with someone other than Jillian after the proposal (act of commitment), why did he proposition sex with yet another girl? I see no commited relationship in any of these instances, yet all three believed Ed and felt they were in commited relationships. Ed was convincing enough to all three. He convinced the girlfriends back home that he had other intentions for doing the show. Neither of these girls knew anything about over-night dates. What they knew about Spain, was the fact that he had lied to them when he told them he went to Texas on business. Ed has been smooth and convincing enough for the girlfriends AND Jillian to believe him regardless of circumstances. Evidence to that is Jillian choosing to believe Ed now with a mountain of evidence to the contrary. The fact is... both of the other girls have finally moved on ~ Jillian hasn't. She continues to believe what Ed is feeding her.
    This is freaking CRAzy ~ I'm 0 for 20!

  9. #6119
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by pattycake92;3651240;
    Sorry I tend to agree with bloomers. I really can't see how either girl thought they were in a committed relationship with ed. They knew he went on a dating show. Neither girl lived with him and they both had stuff at his place. And again, he went on several overnight trips with another woman (and they admit they knew about this at least by Spain). The only victim I see here is jillian. Jmo
    If your talking that Jillian is Ed's only victim, I disagree, she's going into this with an advantage, she knows all about Ed's gf's, plus all the other disgusting things he does.... she's the last one to be called a victim here.
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  10. #6120
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    Re: Ed - Bachelorette 5

    Quote Originally Posted by omagirl;3651245;
    I think to compare Ed to Jeffrey Dahmer, a murderer is reflective of what we need to get away from. It is uncalled for, unecessary and very mean spirited. Rumors and a rag like US weekly does not the truth make. Give them some space.

    I dont know Ed , jillian or the two girls but I know that it is important to share an opinion with civilty and keep away from uncalled meaness.
    I really don't think comparing Ed to Jeffrey Dahmer is intended as the way you are thinking it was (BTW side note, Dahmer killed men and boys not women). I think that people are just trying to say that sometimes it is hard to judge someone based on looks and them "seeming like a nice guy." It is easy to use infamous cases that most have heard of. Ted Bundy is a perfect example--he was in a relationship with an "intelligent" woman while he was an active serial killer. Along with that, Ann Rule, one of the most notable true crime writers, knew Bundy personally and it was very enlightening to read her analysis of him as the man she knew vs. the man who was the serial killer. It is just a study of human behavior and in no way saying that what Ed did equates to what they did.
    Last edited by xseannax; 08-09-2009 at 12:11 PM.
    The problem with rag mags is that when people like what is printed then they think they are reliable, and when people don't like it they like to drag out all the former stories that were wrong

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