Ed - Bachelorette 5

[jlccaz]

*************
With all due respect, I could not disagree with this post more.
a. It IS a "big deal" to sleep with other women a day or two after you get engaged.
b. Emails to Lindsey that "I love you," I miss you, I want to marry you, I don't find Jillian attractive at all, etc. do not put her on notice that she is nothing but a "booty call."
c. If there are other egually disingenuous, shameless horndogs in the world, that's sad, but it doesn't change the essence of Ed's character, or lack thereof. Two wrongs, or a thousand wrongs, don't make a right.
d. This is a HUGE misconception, and needs to be corrected. THE CONTRACT DOES NOT SAY YOU HAVE TO LIE ABOUT BEING ON THE SHOW. IT ONLY SAYS THAT YOU CANNOT REVEAL WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE FILMING OF THE SHOW. In other words, don't blame the contract for Ed saying he was on business in Texas, loved the rodeo, etc. while he was romancing Jillian in Spain. He can say he is filming TB but can't say where.
e. It has yet to be demonstrated to me that Ed is a "busy man" or even has an important job. He was a Microsoft sales rep (entry level position) for 4 months, ok? It sure hasn't been an impediment to going to Vegas or doing TV interviews, or whatever screwing around, since the show ended.
And the argument that because he is a "busy Man" he must rely on booty calls for sex is just.....I don't have the words.
f. Jillian can be "secure that Ed will not stray because it'd be in the papers if he did?!" Well he did and it has, and again...oh brother....
I don't get it at all.

Truth police.

Territory Services Exec is FAR from entry level. Typically requires 10 years experience.

Matt Grant was one step up barely from entry level. But Ed actually has a real job. Doesn't make him husband material, but it's not entry level at all.

[sdl]

You could not be more way off base! I have spent my entire life living in one of the biggest metro cities in the U.S. and I have a WIDE array of contacts: coworkers in the legal field, good friends in the music and promotion industry, etc. Majority of these people are not religious like I am, and what you say is NOT the norm.

Wow.

Maybe you spent your time around some really bad and dirty people but that does NOT mean its like that everywhere. Wow.

***********
I actually thought the post you reference was not serious until I read it a few times.
Then it just scared me.

[Marloon]

*************
With all due respect, I could not disagree with this post more.
a. It IS a "big deal" to sleep with other women a day or two after you get engaged.
b. Emails to Lindsey that "I love you," I miss you, I want to marry you, I don't find Jillian attractive at all, etc. do not put her on notice that she is nothing but a "booty call."
c. If there are other egually disingenuous, shameless horndogs in the world, that's sad, but it doesn't change the essence of Ed's character, or lack thereof. Two wrongs, or a thousand wrongs, don't make a right.
d. This is a HUGE misconception, and needs to be corrected. THE CONTRACT DOES NOT SAY YOU HAVE TO LIE ABOUT BEING ON THE SHOW. IT ONLY SAYS THAT YOU CANNOT REVEAL WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE FILMING OF THE SHOW. In other words, don't blame the contract for Ed saying he was on business in Texas, loved the rodeo, etc. while he was romancing Jillian in Spain. He can say he is filming TB but can't say where.
e. It has yet to be demonstrated to me that Ed is a "busy man" or even has an important job. He was a Microsoft sales rep (entry level position) for 4 months, ok? It sure hasn't been an impediment to going to Vegas or doing TV interviews, or whatever screwing around, since the show ended.
And the argument that because he is a "busy Man" he must rely on booty calls for sex is just.....I don't have the words.
f. Jillian can be "secure that Ed will not stray because it'd be in the papers if he did?!" Well he did and it has, and again...oh brother....
I don't get it at all.

Thanks for your clear thinking and expression, sdl.
Unfortunately, it seems the world is full of women who are ready to give Ed a pass on his reprehensible behaviour. Why would he care to change? It's working very well for him.

[ubidiah]

Truth police.

Territory Services Exec is FAR from entry level. Typically requires 10 years experience.

Matt Grant was one step up barely from entry level. But Ed actually has a real job. Doesn't make him husband material, but it's not entry level at all.

What is his job exactly? Has anyone got a job title for him. It seems so nebulous. He's a constultant. He's an IT guy. He's a sales guy. He has his own company. He works for MS. I'm confused.

[dancerljb]

Respectfully, this message made me sick to my stomach. I am not a feminist by any means, but the thought that all men sleep around and women should just accept and deal with it boggles my mind. Like the public tug-of-war of Jon "I have 8 kids and a bald spot" where 2 young, supposedly intelligent women are fighting over a man who isn't even divorced yet. What decade are we in? It is beyond disgusting to see women reduce themselves to this.

IA that Lindsey and perhaps Bethany now look like they were incredibly naive believing Ed. It is very easy to pass judgment on these ladies without knowing exactly what Ed was doing and saying to them to make them feel that he would end up with them in the end, especially when we now have the whole picture and not little bits and pieces like they had at the time. What seems stupid to us now as a big picture probably seemed a whole lot different at the time to them.

I will not delve deep into your opinions of how Jillian should accept Ed's behavior, because I know that we will have to agree to disagree but for the record I think that Ed's actions have shown that not only does he not love her, he doesn't respect her. The problem with the “all men do it” argument is that Ed continued to do it AFTER he was engaged to Jillian. There is NO EXCUSE FOR THAT. If Jillian makes excuses for it then she has now put herself into the same boat as the other women who believed Ed’s lines.

The crux of the message I want to get across is this: Instead of attacking these 2 women let’s use this situation as a learning opportunity. We should use this situation as an example and teach our daughters, sisters, friends, cousins, and other loved ones that they should not put themselves in the position of being a “booty call” for a man. Ladies CAN do something about the bedhopping by just saying “no thanks.” Teach fellow ladies the warning signs and the standard lines that these men use to lure them into bed, and what the difference between a girlfriend and a bedfellow is. Teach ladies that it is okay to say “No sex until you are ready to be exclusive with me.” That doesn’t have to mean a ring, but it does mean that I am the only person you are seeing and sleeping with. So what if he can’t live with that rule and goes elsewhere—good riddance!! If you don’t want to be in a committed relationship then establish an open relationship with someone who is okay with it, just make sure both parties are on the same page. Stop giving away your power to men!!!

I lived in DC for quite a while and partied in DC, Philly, and NY and never wavered from my morals and beliefs, and had some wonderful relationships during that time and met my husband. I am a prime example of the fact that you do not have to put up with, or participate in that behavior no matter the size of the city. You teach people how to treat you, so let’s teach young ladies coming up how to gain true love and respect from men that they deserve.

BRAVO, sistah!

[sdl]

Truth police.

Territory Services Exec is FAR from entry level. Typically requires 10 years experience.

Matt Grant was one step up barely from entry level. But Ed actually has a real job. Doesn't make him husband material, but it's not entry level at all.

**********
Kind of a minor point in the context of my comments but ok, Ed has a real job that he leaves and comes back to when he feels like it. Not my definition of important.
And 10 years experience? Did they start counting when he was 19?
Sorry, but Ed is a jerk and there's no way to "truth police" that statement.

[flowrenh]

I've been a long time lurker, but watching how this outcome has been playing out in comparison with my observations of Ed all along during this season, it would not surprise me at all if the two women claiming he has been two-timing them are telling the truth.

My first impression of Ed was that he is a pleasant looking man, not a stud but not bad looking. His eyes were kind of buggy, but when I learned that he worked for Microsoft this probably meant that he had myopia from being studious and probably meant he was a productive person, which kind of also excused his somewhat flabby build.

However, I became very leery of him when he failed to make any eye contact with Jillian during long conversations with her. While it is normal to at times not make eye contact during a conversation, that he seemed to not be able to look Jillian in the eye for extended lengths of time and only looked at her once or twice during long conversations, for less than a second at each eye contact, made me think something was just not smelling right. He also seemed to direct his gaze to somewhere around her forehead instead of at her eyes when he looked at her. Something seemed very off.

When he quit the show and went home, I thought that was lame. It showed indecisiveness and lack of planning and commitment.

When I later saw him proudly proclaim he "farted" during the rose ceremony, I thought it showed contempt for the whole process and for Jillian. If he were sincere about being chosen by her, he would not be bragging about farting while she was making her choice.

When he laughed at Wes' comment at the F4 rose ceremony as Wes joked about going home and having lots of sex, that was curious. Especially when the expressions on Kiptyn's and Reid's faces were those of disgust. Disgust would be a natural reaction, not pleasure, to the callous humor Wes was displaying.

I was heart-broken for Jillian when she chose Ed as the F1, just as I was dismayed every time she gave a rose to Wes when we all knew along that he was not sincere.

Why she keeps choosing cads and rejecting sincere and worthy admirers, I do not know. I like Jillian. She is a good person, and I hope the best for her, but I wish she could see a counselor to find out why she keeps making choices that set her up for failure.

Time is the only sure thing that will tell if Ed is worthy of her love. But my guts say that if I were Jillian I would immediately cut my losses.

[Alexxxx]

That is how I feel as well. While I'm disappointed in some of the things she has said and done lately, I feel badly for her. She needs to go home immediately, just to clear her mind and get some perspective. Maybe Grandma needs to go get her!

Sorry, guys, I'm half a day behind, but I had to respond to this one. This is exactly what Jillian needs, and what I've been saying since the GF story broke. I think Jill, in her determination to stand by Ed, is forgetting her biggest resource, her family. I wonder how much she has talked to them at all. But, I can imagine how that reunion would be, showing up back in Canada, and Grandma at the door with her arms wide open. You know the feeling you get when you look into the eyes of someone that has been there for you your whole life, has always loved you and wanted just the best for you. I think Jillian would snap back to reality in a heartbeat.

My heart just breaks for her. Go home, Jill.

[ZG_Champion]

What is his job exactly? Has anyone got a job title for him. It seems so nebulous. He's a constultant. He's an IT guy. He's a sales guy. He has his own company. He works for MS. I'm confused.

In 2007 he incorporated his own company in Chicago, Green Canyon, LLC. It provided website services to businesses. The websites were created mostly with Ruby on Rails or Drupal, both of which are free, open source content management systems. He joined several entrepreneurial networking groups that had get-togethers. For all, he listed his affiliation as Green Canyon. At one point he said he had 8 employees.

Sometime towards the end of 2008, he took a sales job with Microsoft. Shortly after the show began airing, he took down the website for Green Canyon. This has all been documented in the Ed spoilers thread.

I have never been able to figure whether he took the job with Microsoft because Green Canyon failed. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. If I were the Bachelorette, I would want to know if a guy I was considering had a failed business enterprise in his recent past.

Maybe Microsoft hired Green Canyon as opposed to Ed personally, but it doesn't seem that way and Green Canyon, while still in good standing as an Illinois business, seems defunct.

[Bloomers]

Thanks for your clear thinking and expression, sdl.
Unfortunately, it seems the world is full of women who are ready to give Ed a pass on his reprehensible behaviour. Why would he care to change? It's working very well for him.

I read what you are saying, and I understand it well. The leopard can not change his spots - impossible to do.

People do not change - a generalization - basically true most of the time, but there are notable exceptions that each and every one of us can give.

I remember sitting at the teacher's table one day, and one of my colleagues mentioned a guy from her church that I knew from when I was much younger. The problem was that the guy she knew - now a missionary on a foreign field - was most definitely NOT the guy I knew from when I was much younger!! The leopard changed his spots....

If there was hope for this guy, there is hope for Ed.

Also, Warren Beatty - Hollywood's consummate playboy who wined and dined them all and several at a time - finally married, and we never hear anything about him anymore.

Although most people retain their natures, it is a generalization to say that people, including Ed, don't or won't change. If he finds what is missing in his life, like others before him, he could settle down to it.