Ed - Bachelorette 5

[lavender1960]

Thanks for posting this.

3. Lindsay---well, I have alot to say and all of its not pleasant. I do "feel" for her situation. However, she knowingly sent her man off to do a reality tv dating show. Which says to me she was in it for a lark and possibly a sieways payout. (Ie...Ed says, I can make a few thousand and just think how much we will have saved for our honeymoon,new house, wedding...insert whatever item...she agrees.) This point is the one I cannot shake loose. IF the motivation is financial...then she was in on it for that reason. Lindsay clearly did not think about Jills feeling during the taping of the show, or even if Ed had not proposed, that it would come out that he was only on there as a joke. And somehow, its okay to treat another human being that way....(Obviously Ed thinks its okay per the article, but methinks these two are peas in a pod.) If she is an intelligent girl as she has said...she would not have fallen for it over again and again...which just says to me she is in on it. Maybe not now, but was at the beginning. So no wonder why Jill does not beleive her, even if the truth is staring her in the face.

I am not an Ed lover or Supporter...I am just trying to figure out what motivates these people to be so ugky towards others.

To a degree, because she believe Ed and believe him when he said it was a joke that she was in on the joke too, I mean for all we know Lindsey is in the camp that thinks the whole show is fake, she would not be alone and Ed is going to justify his participation by saying baby we'll have money for this this and this, this is why I am not surprised that someone with a steady boyfriend or girlfriend would go on a dating reality show and that girlfriend or boyfriend is OK with it, they are willing to give up the time with a loved for a payoff in the end, money and fame that can be exploited to make more money - it's the new world sadly. In the end IMO that's still not the issue, the issue is how Ed's behaviour relates to Jillian.Think whatever you will of Bethany and Lindsey, if you believe what they are saying then it all goes back to Ed. Now some people will not or may not believe they are telling the truth and that is their prerogative.

[I'msotired]

I can say that I know from a trusted poster that there is more than what we know so far. Not quite as explosive as what's already out there, but definitely more to add to the "there for the wrong reasons" column

Somehow I'm not surprised, chopstickchick. Yipes. Thanks for the info. I wonder if that will come out publicly, too. Part of me thinks enough is out there to warn women off Ed forever, but you never know... I feel sorry for everyone who bought into his hollow lines.

Bamabrain, if you're still reading the thread: If I had moments of weakness during the latter part of the season that it could still be legit, they were quashed, and I'm hoping to be "forgiven," lol. I'm also hoping I'm still invited to your "It's.Only.Fiction" party next season, lol. (And your avatar is HILARIOUS!)

[lavender1960]

new article: Bachelorette Harris trying to reclaim her private life

she says they have a strong & open relationship (ok...)

That she could never let him go (sad...)

And again that she's getting her dream opportunities, but if they get in the way of her relationship with Ed, she'll decline.

how open is open?

SCHWWWWWWING.................

I hope Jillian talks to her parents or cousin before giving up her dream opportunities, if Ed really loved Jillian he wouldn't let her, his job skills are very transportable probably even to Canada

[northernviewer]

Ed's a jerk, I think for the most part, it's pretty undeniable, and I don't really think he is going to change. But would he really be so cruel to let Jillian give up an opportunity to do something she would love (one of her implied TV gigs) when he knows deep down that he doesn't love her and is only going to do this again.

Ya, I think he would. He's not a man of character by any means, so to save face, I think he would be selfish enough to get her to give a lot of things up, if it suited him. He'll dump her when the dust settles.... and she'll get her heart broken from Ed, not big bad heartbreaker Kip, like she was soooooo afraid of

[cfck2222]

Doesn't this article make anyone question Lindsey's veracity at all? She didn't know he was engaged, yet before the finale aired she was going to the tabloids? The fact that she wanted to remain in contact with a man "who triple-timed her, went on a dating reality TV show, wrote inappropriate text messages, etc,." indicates to me that she is a little delusional about Ed and creates more doubt about Lindsey's "storyline. " Again, everyone is being judgmental about the guy, and granted he is a little piggish, but no one comes out smelling like "roses" in this story. I think the judgments are a little harsh on people we do not know at all.

I agree with you that no one comes out smelling like roses. However I don't see much that makes me question L's veracity. Her judgment I do question, as I do B's judgment and Jillian's judgment. But not L's veracity. It's easy to believe that L was upset and maybe even threatened Ed that she would go public because she suspected he might be engaged. It's just as easy to believe that Ed told her to go ahead in a fit of pique and posturing, not thinking she would do it, before trying to talk her out of it.

JMO but "a little piggish" doesn't begin to describe Ed Swiderski.

[Prissypants]

From what I remember from a bunch of psychology classes, there's no set time for each stage. Some people get stuck in the denial stage permanently, others get through it but it takes years. Unlike other models of pysch. development, there's (as far as I remember) not any range of average time for each stage.

I too hope for Jillian if she is feeling all of this, that she finds peace as fast as possible. As for Ed, I hope he gets himself some counseling. That's about the nicest thing I can think to say ATM.

You're right, there is no set time. Its also not uncommon for a few of the stages to be switched here or there. Each person is different so the model is merely that, a general idea of the grieving process.

I do think she's going to need more time. I know we all want her to dump his tail now and have her smiling and being all I am woman, hear me roar but I think she's just soooo caught up in the drama right now that she isn't seeing or thinking clearly. I know because I myself was cheated on with exes. We dated for a year and a half and had been very very very close friends for 3 years before we even dated. I thought I knew him inside and out. Then his ex and her best friend appeared and more stories came out. I became this insecure, untrusting, scared weak person. I had anxiety bordering on panic attacks 24/7. Why didn't I let go? Because "what if" he was being honest? How could I dump him when the possibility was there that he *was* faithful to me and they were lying? He had me convinced that he was just because she hated me (she did, i knew of her long before he and i dated because she hated that him and i were so close and she knew he'd always had a thing for me). I totally justified EVERYTHING in my mind. I let him work me over so well that it ashames me now that I ever let myself be so delusional. In the end I left him because I simply couldn't fight for him anymore. I loved him through and through but I couldn't be the weak, scared, frail little thing I became because of him. Being without my love was better than being with him. After we broke up more stories came out from his friends who in the end, stayed friends with me and not him because after we all put our heads together we discovered that the man we knew and loved actually didn't exist. He was a master manipulator to all of us and he played this character for the entire time we knew him. That was over 5 years ago and to this day, I think he only speaks with one person and that was his best friend who he finally reconnected with sometime last year. They remain casual friends though and don't spend much time together.

I guess maybe that is why I am so repulsed by this situation and why I feel so badly for Jillian, Lindsey & Bethany. I think that right now all of the fans should just give Jillian some time and space before throwing stones and calling these girls weak and/or stupid. Love is blind. It doesn't mean that someone is desperate or needy; it just means that their love and desire for a future with that man is overpowering the logic when tensions are high like this. When it cools down and she has time to think the facts over and remembers dates and things that have been said, I think she'll realize the truth.

So lets just call all the women some slack. Please?

[lavender1960]

Doesn't this article make anyone question Lindsey's veracity at all? She didn't know he was engaged, yet before the finale aired she was going to the tabloids? The fact that she wanted to remain in contact with a man "who triple-timed her, went on a dating reality TV show, wrote inappropriate text messages, etc,." indicates to me that she is a little delusional about Ed and creates more doubt about Lindsey's "storyline. " Again, everyone is being judgmental about the guy, and granted he is a little piggish, but no one comes out smelling like "roses" in this story. I think the judgments are a little harsh on people we do not know at all.

I would expect that Lindsay found out about the engagement a few days ahead of the finale like most of the FORTers, either because people she knew were at the Friday ATR taping or she found out out from her friends that post here, so it is very plausible that on Saturday night after likely being livid for about 24 hours she made the decision and gave Eds a head up which actually is classier than I would have been, frankly. Because when dealing with a liar, the element of surprise means he wouldn't have had time to think up a new version of the story and have Jilian hoodwinked before the story did come out.

[jlccaz]

What I love about this [crap] show, is that accepting everything B and L say as true, the guy's TWO TIMING ways is what made him still 100% eligible for the show at the time he joined the cast!

Link to the application. It asks about marriages only, and whether any serious relationships and how /why they ended. The Bachelorette :: Mail-In Bachelor Application

To be legally eligible ...
The Bachelorette :: Eligibility Requirements)...
among other requirements:
All applicants must be single. To qualify as "single" the applicant must not currently be involved in a committed intimate relationship, which includes: any marital relationship (whether or not the parties are separated or currently in the process of divorcing or annulling such marriage); any co-habitation relationship involving physical intimacy; or a monogamous dating relationship more than two (2) months in duration.

[Hyac]

skip I do have some questions though – How in god’s name did Lindsay still sleep with Ed after she went to his place saw his bags and all the tags from Spain/HI? She herself mentioned that she guessed that anybody that went to HI was in the F3 and then one thing led to another and they ended up in bed. skip IMO, the youngest of them all seem to be the one that @ least had the most sense, she ignored his lewd text message about bringing beer and condom and refused to sleep with him. She clearly was not as invested as Lindsay as they had just been dating for about 4 months and that’s why Jillian needs to run.
On another note though cheating boyfriend related - I heard on the radio this a.m. on my way to work about some cheating guy that was tied to a bed in some hotel by 4 women he was simultaneously seeing. They not only tied him to the bed, they glued his private part to something – didn’t hear that part very well. I almost thought it was Ed until they mentioned the guy’s name. Yeah, some of the women may get some jail time according to the news but gosh, it felt good and I wanted it to be this Dog of a man called Ed. He’ll get what is coming to him. He’s been doing it for too long and getting away with it. This time though, I think he bit more than he can chew.

Ed:

Re the girl Lindsey...etc. Well Ed seems to be a master at lies and love.... he gave her some cockinbull story probably and she fell for it...also probably wanted to because she was in love. Could be the reason she is 'mad' now - at herself for falling for it (again?).

[fiveboysin07]

Here's the link:

News - EXCLUSIVE: Bachelorette Winner's Other Woman: "I Feel Terrible" for Jillian | Usmagazine.com

Some quotes:


She also predicts Ed and Jillian will stay together for the same reasons she and Bethany stayed with Ed. Apparently even Ed's best friends were warning her off.

Per her second quote....that just doesnt make any sense to me. Seems like if you were 100% sure of your side of the story...you would request that Ed meet her somewhere in the middle on the truth front. Does anyone else think this statement if off? Or is it just me? Again...this does not in any way lessen that Ed is a complete arse.