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Thread: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by bankmom;3623387;
    I caught the clarification of the time spent together, too. Did you also notice that Ed said Jill would be "coming" to Chicago soon and Jill quickly corrected him and said she would be MOVING to Chicago. Also, the wedding will now be in 12 - 18 months. Things are changing quickly.
    Hope it's 25 months so that ABC does not have the right to film it.
    "No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!"Joyce Brothers

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by ryansmommy;3624645;
    Thank you and you are correct. The the couple DID change their statement to comply with to the standard 5-6 days every other week as we were later told.

    However, there have been no sightings of Ed after leaving Hawaii (exception would be a Microsoft employee conference in Atlanta he attended last week) and, also, very few of Jillian.

    I tend to believe the truth is as Jillian and Ed first stated during the taping of the ATFR --- that the two DID stay together at a private residence in Los Angeles for the entire period, less, of course, the 5-6 days when they both said they were apart.
    I'm sure this really isn't relevant anymore, but Ed was in Grand Rapids, Michigan the weekend before last. He was visiting a buddy from college. There were pictures on the motherboard from The BOB (a bar in GR). I saw them (and know the bar), and it was definitely him and definitely that bar. All reports are that he was not obnoxious, drunk or anything other than very nice and polite to those that came up to him.

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky22;3624730;
    I've been around many more years than Jillian and have seen many women like her, perhaps USED TO BE similar in terms of what I was looking for in a relationship. Many women claim to be independent, even act independent in terms of a career, but emotionally they are dependent and perhaps what is called co-dependent in a relationship. They're torn between a kind of independence on one hand, and wanting to be taken care of by a big strong man on the other. Jillian picked the big alpha male ... not as extreme as Dave for sure, so I give her props for that ... but someone she felt could take care of her and give her a life rather than someone who would mesh with the life she has already established. After all, she's planning to give up her life and the new design firm she was supposedly establishing in Canada, to fit in with Ed's life in Chicago.

    I can't help but notice that so far at least, the reasons she gives for being so happy with Ed are all superficial. He fits her physical preferences (tall, dark, and handsome .... although handsome is in the eye of the beholder as far as I'm concerned), she says they have the same taste in music, same sleeping habits, same desire to "crack open a cold one" as often as possible, etc. So far, they've been having lots of fun, drinking margaritas all day and hanging out at the pool in a romantic secluded hideaway. Seconds after the proposal she squealed about how much fun they were going to have together. Well, relationships and marriage are about a lot more than having fun and going out for wings and beer at your favorite bar. I think relationships are about something so much deeper to Reid, and that is why Jillian went for Ed instead of Reid. Jillian wasn't ready for the kind of depth that Reid offered, more of a soul connection than a superficial one of constant "fun," which is an unrealistic expectation for a long-term relationship. I'm not saying having fun isn't important, but it is by no means all there is. Relationships and marriage can be a rocky road, even the best of them, and you need someone who will be supportive, committed, and dedicated to getting through the rough times with love and compassion.

    From what I observed and feel about Reid, although he is fun and funny, he is more about spiritual connection, love, and loyalty with an equal partner. He just doesn't realize yet, or maybe he does now, that Jillian can't give him what HE really wants in a relationship, at least not at the moment. She has a lot to learn first. Maybe her relationship with Ed will teach her that, maybe not. I'd like to see him with someone who also is looking for more depth in a partner. Don't know if he'll find that on The Bachelor, should he choose to be on the show.
    Not that one is better than the other, but typically frothy margaritas and fine scotch don't mix so well together.

    In Jill he saw someone who could bring excitement to his life. To free him of past constraints both emotional and situational. He wants change. New adventures. She was nothing like the blue-blooded blondes he had encountered to date straight from the who's who of Philly society. Her straight shooting style of communicating was probably a relief to Reid. No subterfuge to sort through. Less to analyze or fret about. WYSIWYG! Which is great he recognized that in himself but it has to be with someone who can equally take loving care of his heart.
    "No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!"Joyce Brothers

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom;3624790;
    I'm sure this really isn't relevant anymore, but Ed was in Grand Rapids, Michigan the weekend before last. He was visiting a buddy from college. There were pictures on the motherboard from The BOB (a bar in GR). I saw them (and know the bar), and it was definitely him and definitely that bar. All reports are that he was not obnoxious, drunk or anything other than very nice and polite to those that came up to him.
    Good to hear!
    "No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!"Joyce Brothers

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by victoria;3624419;
    Some thoughts....

    Chris Harrison is Company Man defined. Now I LIKE CH; I think he's an awfully good egg underneath reading the cue cards, but there's no doubt about it in my mind: The man reads whatever is put in front of him regarding this show. I'll give him a pass b/c everything he says is basically founded in truth -- so he's not a bald-faced liar -- but everything he says is rife with editorial latitude. There's essential truth to everything he says, but we ALL know he mischaracterizes things as a habit ('cuz it's his job).

    IMO, there is no Under-the-Bus-Throwing going on at this point. CH is saying what he's saying b/c he knows that Jillian & Ed are hip to the jive, they know the truth, and they understand why the show -- with CH as its parrot -- needs to say what it says publicly (to sell their product). J & E are currently Over-the-Moon happy, they gained much from this show, they don't mind giving a little back b/c they're believers in this process despite the process being so incredibly removed from Reality.

    I posted something not long ago about F2 re-treads being about the stupidest thing ever, particularly on consecutive seasons. I said something like, "How am I supposed to buy into this True Love Forever crap when people recover so quickly? I know I need some time to lick my wounds when I'm truly heartbroken. Better to go with anyone but a non-F2 re-tread if I'm supposed to buy the illusion." Honestly, I think that's precisely what's going on now -- Reid went to the near end of this season with the indecisive/non-committal edit. But alas, he has become a fan fave in one of the biggest ways EVAH!

    I'm pretty confident that Reid is TPTB's #1 choice (by a LOT) for next Bach. Is it not obvious? They can't have Reid become their new Bach if they perpetuate this indecisive/non-committal crap -- they need a Bach who is SERIOUS about finding looooooooove. Reid is the next Bach, IMO, and everything we've recently seen is a rehabilitation of Reid (the character) as indecisive/non-committal. He must look "changed" if we're to take him seriously as Bach. He's been changed by having sincerely fallen in love with Jillian. In a month or so, when he's had more time to "heal his heartbreak," he'll be announced as Bach -- a perfectly "ready" Bachelor...now healed and ready for the Love of a Lifetime.

    All that being said, I believe Jillian & Reid developed deep & genuine feelings for one another. I really don't believe either of them deeply felt FOREVER feelings about each other. They really really liked each other, and with nobody else around, I think they'd have a relationship for awhile, but not forever. I think Jillian saw that b/c of HER role in this sitch and Reid didn't b/c of HIS role in this sitch (she had options, he didn't). Furthermore, Jillian just really sucks at breaking up with people. And I will also say that she sucks so hard at breaking up with people that she DOES send mixed signals. She means well, and I love her for that, but it's short-term gain at long-term expense. If she and Ed last, her break-up weaknesses are a non-issue going forward -- let us all hope for that.

    Not trying to convince anyone of my belief, but all this is how I see it.
    Great post - this makes sense to me.

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by carolb57;3624692;
    Yes, this is an excellent post and perfectly describes why Jillian should have chosen Reid. They would have been EQUAL partners, neither one dominating the other, and they would have had a lot of fun in the process. Just drinking all day is NOT what Jillian should want in the real world, even though that's what they do for 10 weeks on the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows.

    And she could have had a great guy serenading her on his guitar as well! Jilly Bean, what have you done?
    Reid takes a hit for the 'nice guy team' once again! Some sisters learn way too late this is the best way to go. And the best friend types do get so much more sexier as the relationship progresses. I bet Reid would never dream of leaving the toilet seat up either!
    "No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!"Joyce Brothers

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    AOL Homepage...Most shocking TV moments...#1...

    "Cooper stuns with sex talk"...asks Bachelorette question we're all wondering about...and she answers...

    That's the headline...

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Parasolpink;3624791;
    Not that one is better than the other, but typically frothy margaritas and fine scotch don't mix so well together.

    In Jill he saw someone who could bring excitement to his life. To free him of past constraints both emotional and situational. He wants change. New adventures. She was nothing like the blue-blooded blondes he had encountered to date straight from the who's who of Philly society. Her straight shooting style of communicating was probably a relief to Reid. No subterfuge to sort through. Less to analyze or fret about. WYSIWYG! Which is great he recognized that in himself but it has to be with someone who can equally take loving care of his heart.
    Aww, I love that description! I also think you're right about what he saw in Jillian ... excitement, the chance for new adventures. However, I think it's a mistake for people to expect someone else to provide what they won't provide for themselves. It's very possible to look for ways you can expand your horizons, so to speak, and create change and new adventures in your life without waiting for someone else to give that to you. We're often attracted to people who seem to represent parts of ourselves that we feel are "missing," because we don't realize that we are NOT incomplete. How much better it is to know that we are WHOLE people, and to seek another person who also feels whole, than to feel incomplete and look for someone who will give us what we're not willing to give ourselves. That's a form of neediness, and it's a bit sad to me. A relationship, IMO, has the best chance of success when it is between two whole people who just want to enhance their already happy fulfilling lives. In terms of Ed, if a man said that he expected or wanted me to "balance" his life and change his workaholic ways, I'd tell him to do that for himself first and then give me a call.

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky22;3624730;
    I've been around many more years than Jillian and have seen many women like her, perhaps USED TO BE similar in terms of what I was looking for in a relationship. Many women claim to be independent, even act independent in terms of a career, but emotionally they are dependent and perhaps what is called co-dependent in a relationship. They're torn between a kind of independence on one hand, and wanting to be taken care of by a big strong man on the other. Jillian picked the big alpha male ... not as extreme as Dave for sure, so I give her props for that ... but someone she felt could take care of her and give her a life rather than someone who would mesh with the life she has already established. After all, she's planning to give up her life and the new design firm she was supposedly establishing in Canada, to fit in with Ed's life in Chicago.

    I can't help but notice that so far at least, the reasons she gives for being so happy with Ed are all superficial. He fits her physical preferences (tall, dark, and handsome .... although handsome is in the eye of the beholder as far as I'm concerned), she says they have the same taste in music, same sleeping habits, same desire to "crack open a cold one" as often as possible, etc. So far, they've been having lots of fun, drinking margaritas all day and hanging out at the pool in a romantic secluded hideaway. Seconds after the proposal she squealed about how much fun they were going to have together. Well, relationships and marriage are about a lot more than having fun and going out for wings and beer at your favorite bar. I think relationships are about something so much deeper to Reid, and that is why Jillian went for Ed instead of Reid. Jillian wasn't ready for the kind of depth that Reid offered, more of a soul connection than a superficial one of constant "fun," which is an unrealistic expectation for a long-term relationship. I'm not saying having fun isn't important, but it is by no means all there is. Relationships and marriage can be a rocky road, even the best of them, and you need someone who will be supportive, committed, and dedicated to getting through the rough times with love and compassion.

    From what I observed and feel about Reid, although he is fun and funny, he is more about spiritual connection, love, and loyalty with an equal partner. He just doesn't realize yet, or maybe he does now, that Jillian can't give him what HE really wants in a relationship, at least not at the moment. She has a lot to learn first. Maybe her relationship with Ed will teach her that, maybe not. I'd like to see him with someone who also is looking for more depth in a partner. Don't know if he'll find that on The Bachelor, should he choose to be on the show.

    wow how insightful, thank you so much for this post...you know what I am realizing how many lessons I have taken away from this season of the bachelorette with regard to being a woman and the types of choices we make...I do sincerely understand what you mean when you say Reid is looking for that soulmate-type connection that is 'indescribable' the kind that you can mentally-physically-emotionally linked...where you would be fully vulnerable while being fully yourself and you are so joyful because of that.

    I have learned that I want that type of connection with someone as well...i do not doubt that jill has fallen in love with ed and maybe she was a little scared of her connection with reid and maybe she did not want that depth of a connection for some reason...and maybe because it did not make sense to her. and maybe she over analyzed how much it would hurt her if she kept reid around and he doesn't reciprocate by being able to commit (why was she pushing him soooo much when she didn't ask the others?).

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    Re: Bachelorette 5 Media Thread - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by victoria;3624419;
    Not trying to convince anyone of my belief, but all this is how I see it.
    Victoria thank you for your post! I would like to emphasize your last line. No matter how ardent one is in one's beliefs, ahem, it's up to everyone to take from it what they choose. And agree to disagree.
    Having spent the first years of my career counseling young ladies, often whose lives were entangled with those of deadbeats, snake charmers and ne're-do-wells, one gets to be able to recognize troubling/harmful behaviour when one sees it and quickly. It's as if those behaviours are,well, scripted! And the ladies are often inexperienced or temporarily behind life's 8-ball and feeling they were deserving of no better. Or they were making poorer choices than they were capable of and smartened up with some intervention (or a lot!) I was convinced parents needed to do a better job of creating confident daughters who insisted on being treated with respect. And if that was absent in the dynamic, to extricate themselves quickly. Like a band aid if you will.
    So my reaction to First Ed brought out every red flag I could find. And because I abhor seeing women get taken advantage of, I reacted with a bit too much zeal. Granted women need to make their own decisions, but cannot do so when they do not have all the facts. And we all know there were far too many puzzle pieces missing from the Ed's big picture. I think Ed's going on the B'ette ought to have been a clue to the women he was dating that he just was not that into them. But it appears that he was not forthcoming when he needed to be with them. Perhaps he used the show as a mechanism to blow things up with them. I can't say what his motivation was... Leaving the show ought to have been his kiss of death. Period. He needed to get his act together on his own time-not Jilly's. As I have said before men are not from IKEA-they need to come ready-assembled.
    His return was nothing short of miraculous with regard to the changes in his personality. How he said all the right things was truly wondrous. Was it because he was finally free emotionally? No longer tied down with others from his past? It could well be. But my experiences have taught me to be suspect of such radical changes. It's interesting that he has little difficulty with eye contact now. Perhaps a good sign he is finally being truthful.
    I think that Jilly will have an uphill battle in this relationship. That she will be doing all the compromising. Ed said all the things she needed to hear. She felt love. Jilly needs to be the adored one in the relationship (as many father's daughters do! ). Yet in their interview thus far the pendulum has swung totally in the other direction. She initiates all of the affection and the conversation. Not a good sign... I worry she has fallen into her same pattern of having to work for love;proving she is worthy of Ed's attention. She may get tired of it when she realizes she is getting the short end of the stick. Or worse, she will set her mind to working harder at winning his love. And that will be such a shame for a vivacious, loving, woman with a great deal to offer! No woman should be made to feel less of a person for having met ______________. Insert man's name here.
    Last edited by Parasolpink; 07-30-2009 at 11:09 AM.
    "No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!"Joyce Brothers

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