Originally Posted by
jlccaz;3630459; There were a number of places where her blogs were publicly posted. Here's an example. PM me if you want to be directed where to find it. She did an extended round of Qs and As with internet fans in addition. I offer this excerpt for historical comparison (since Bach 10, nearly every F4-level contestant negotiates for or gets waiver of strict prohibitions on no outside contact, no computer/internet, etc.) Also, she was smart and a clever writer, and did a great job of "giving it back" to the people who mocked her EDIT. The shy Asian girl who sang the national anthem to the Officer and A Gentleman.
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The Bachelor Day 5 – Escape
It's impossible for me to live without my computer. It's really sad actually. I bring my computer to Sub-Saharan Africa. It never leaves my sight for more than a day. That may be the reason why I started twitching after 4 days. We all have limits. I found mine.
While I shouldn't compare this to prison, I'm going to try. They call it "lock down." Absolutely no contact with the outside world aside from the bosses. I have a "handler" (I'd like to call her, my babysitter) across the hall from me. Before this weekend, I didn't know what a handler was.
According to the dictionary, the word "handler" means:
noun
1. [usu. with adj.] a person who handles or deals with certain articles or commodities
2. a person who trains or has charge of an animal
3. a person who trains or manages another person
Sadly, after this weekend, I think definition number 1 or number 2 is more fitting. I feel more like a commodity or an animal.
If I need to get ice from down the hall, the handler will get it for me. If I am thirsty, she walks me down the hall to get soda. When I want to work out, she clears the gym and schedules me in so I will be alone. If there is a meeting, she escorts me and stays in the room until the meeting is completed. I asked her if she could to wipe my a** too – she didn't find that too amusing.
It seemed relaxing for the first 2 hours – no one to bother me, work out privileges, a good book, internal medicine to study, and a nice comfortable bed. That got old after I realized that I was trapped. No wonder kids with nothing to do find trouble. If I were in a prison, I'd probably fight someone just out of sheer boredom. Taped a sign on my door saying "Help me, I'm drowning in boredom." They also didn't find that too amusing.
It wasn't an extremely difficult escape, although somewhat nerve racking, given what I was risking. I didn't think I was such an adrenaline junkie, but today reaffirmed it.
After the big production last night, or this morning- however you want to look at it – I went to sleep at around 7:00am. But the Sudafed and caffeine IVs throughout the evening shoot kept me awake throughout the ordeal but also woke up at 10:00am, which was when I planned the get-a-way. The crew and the guards would still be asleep, and even if they weren't, no one would bother to wake me up. Today was our Sunday – our day of rest.
A couple of days ago, I had already checked out whether or not there were cameras in the halls or if I were being taped, unknowingly. At that time, the idea of being taped in these halls was eliminated but I decided not to break out that day for fear of the immediate consequences.
Today, however, seemed like the perfect day and time to escape. My peephole for the past few days has been the light at the end of my tunnel, my vision to freedom, a glimmer of hope that there is an outside world.
As I prepared my escape, my face was makeupless, hair in a bun, scrubby clothing on with bandana and glasses to add to my disguise (or my real self, who they also wouldn't recognize). With backpack in hand, I first peered my head out to make sure the hall was deserted. When one is trying to escape from a hotel, the little noises seem to be amplified by a megaphone. When I used to sneak out as a teenager in high school, as I closed the door behind me, I would turn the knob so the door couldn't slam. With a hotel room door, you can't do that. When door is closed, the entire hall can hear it. I waited for the perfect moment so my handler wouldn't get suspicious when my door slammed shut. While the cleaners' vacuum cleaners were on high to add to the noise in the hall, I made for the staircase furthest from the elevator.
The 10 flights of stairs down was the easy part. The cobwebs and dust abound reassured me that no Hollywooder was going to find me in this descending hole. Past the lobby level, I slid out through the lower level. As I approached the door, I heard a rattling of keys. The creaking of a door was followed by the beautiful sound of closure.
This door opened up to another maze, which tested my seriously impaired navigational skills. Each exit door or sign offered me hope to a successful escape, but one after another red signs assured me that not only would I be caught, the fire alarm and department would also arrive shortly.
Denial after denial, I finally found an opening. With a brisk pace, I walked out a back parking lot to air that tasted like cold water after days of endless thirst. Normally Los Angeles is not a haven for cabs, but in this world, a line of cabs appeared within seconds.
When the driver sped away, I slouched and ducked my head out of view. I was in the clear, for now.
Luckily, the show is was filmed in my backyard so the cab ride home took minutes. Scurrying out of the cab and up my stairs, I was constantly paranoid that some sort of alarm would go off or a helicopter would spot me. They made me so paranoid about the outside world I was developing agoraphobia.
Home sweet home, or should I say, computer sweet computer.
I grabbed my hat, another book and most importantly, my precious companion Mac. I felt like I was robbing my own room. Within minutes, I packed up again and was out the door. The driver hadn't even turned his engine off when I jumped back inside.
With only a pit stop by Panda Express, I bought some cheap food before going back to lockdown.
As I rushed back to the hotel, I had the cabby drop me off in the back of the hotel. Again, I tried every possible door to get in, saving the front entrance as a last resort. There are well over 50 crew members in this hotel and if one saw me outside of my room with out my babysitter, I'd get kicked off.
Unfortunately, I found no other entrance. And right when I walked in, I tried to find a stairwell. But alas, my navigation skills failed me again. I gave up and decided to risk it by going up the main elevator.
Right as I pressed the up button, the elevator opened and a crew member walked out. Luckily I had put on my hat, ducked my head, and all of you know that I'm a totally different person with my scrubby look verses evening gown attire.
The elevator went straight up to the 10th floor without stopping. I again, looked around the corner to make sure there were no spies or enemies in sight and I bolted for my room.
Insert key card, green light, and safe again in my lockdown unit. A part of me feels insane for needing my computer but my computer makes me feel sane again.
Since I'm moving to a mansion tomorrow, I'm not sure if I will be able to correspond again for a while. They already took my phone away, I don't know if they are going to take my books and journal away too – let's hope not, for everyone's sake.
Miss you all.
Tina
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