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Thread: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

  1. #341
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    I'll take a Yul Brynner type over Ed any day of the week!!!!! Certainly better looking!!

  2. #342
    FORT Fogey I'msotired's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian



    Hi everyone! Itís totally awesome to be back and still be so loved. Iím thrilled you all feel I made the totally right choice at the end of the show. Now that Iím totally out of the spotlight, I thought it was a perfect time for my new book. They told me I had to write an outline before theyíd consider publishing it, so here goes.

    Thereís been so much interest in my awesome theory from the show with that short guy last season that I decided to write a book with all my wicked wonderful advice and tips on dating and on how to prepare your dog. Since you can all see how awesomely well itís worked out for me, I figured there was a market and all my awesome fans would rush right out and buy it so that they, too, can be as happy as I am. Wicked awesome, eh? Just think: even YOU can end up with someone as special as ED. All you have to do is buy my book. It ought to sell like hotcakes, eh?

    Anyway, hereís my awesome outline.

    Part 1 Dating Dogs. Oops. Dating and Hot Dogs: How to Prepare The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

    Chapter 1. Texas Rodeo Dogs: Chunks of pork and bologna

    Chapter 2. Jenga Dogs: Serve with with plenty of baked beans and cabbage

    Chapter 3. Microwaved Volcano Dogs: Quick and easy, but may blow up on you

    Chapter 4. Fried Dogs: Be sure to use at least sunscreen level 30, or the dogs will shrivel up and just lie there on your plate

    Chapter 5. Chicago-Style Dogs: Place 4 on a shared bun


    Part II. How to know which type of hot dog to use for that special occasion, and the perfect way to serve it

    Chapter 1. Turkey Dog Steamed in Beer: Perfect for dates with mancode morons

    Chapter 2. Footlong 100% Pork Dog covered in mango-mango: For that special someone with a foot fetish and other attributes

    Chapter 3. Kosher Dog topped with freshly washed chopped veggies: Just the right touch for snuggling up with honey-bears

    Chapter 4. Faux-meat Vegetarian Dog dripping with pickle relish: When dining and dancing to your favorite CD

    Chapter 5. 100% All-Beef Dog served with sea salt: For when you need to eat quickly because there are other things youíd rather do after surfing all day

    Chapter 6. Polish Sausage Dog spit-fire grilled and served plain: Perfect for cozying up with dinner and a good magazine to thumb through
    Every time MF grins, somewhere in the world a unicorn dies.
    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

  3. #343
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by I'msotired;3658711;


    Hi everyone! Itís totally awesome to be back and still be so loved. Iím thrilled you all feel I made the totally right choice at the end of the show. Now that Iím totally out of the spotlight, I thought it was a perfect time for my new book. They told me I had to write an outline before theyíd consider publishing it, so here goes.

    Thereís been so much interest in my awesome theory from the show with that short guy last season that I decided to write a book with all my wicked wonderful advice and tips on dating and on how to prepare your dog. Since you can all see how awesomely well itís worked out for me, I figured there was a market and all my awesome fans would rush right out and buy it so that they, too, can be as happy as I am. Wicked awesome, eh? Just think: even YOU can end up with someone as special as ED. All you have to do is buy my book. It ought to sell like hotcakes, eh?

    Anyway, hereís my awesome outline.

    Part 1 Dating Dogs. Oops. Dating and Hot Dogs: How to Prepare The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

    Chapter 1. Texas Rodeo Dogs: Chunks of pork and bologna

    Chapter 2. Jenga Dogs: Serve with with plenty of baked beans and cabbage

    Chapter 3. Microwaved Volcano Dogs: Quick and easy, but may blow up on you

    Chapter 4. Fried Dogs: Be sure to use at least sunscreen level 30, or the dogs will shrivel up and just lie there on your plate

    Chapter 5. Chicago-Style Dogs: Place 4 on a shared bun


    Part II. How to know which type of hot dog to use for that special occasion, and the perfect way to serve it

    Chapter 1. Turkey Dog Steamed in Beer: Perfect for dates with mancode morons

    Chapter 2. Footlong 100% Pork Dog covered in mango-mango: For that special someone with a foot fetish and other attributes

    Chapter 3. Kosher Dog topped with freshly washed chopped veggies: Just the right touch for snuggling up with honey-bears

    Chapter 4. Faux-meat Vegetarian Dog dripping with pickle relish: When dining and dancing to your favorite CD

    Chapter 5. 100% All-Beef Dog served with sea salt: For when you need to eat quickly because there are other things youíd rather do after surfing all day

    Chapter 6. Polish Sausage Dog spit-fire grilled and served plain: Perfect for cozying up with dinner and a good magazine to thumb through
    Hilarious! I'm in awe of the talent on this board. Thanks, I'msotired.

  4. #344
    FORT Fanatic
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    I'msotired, looks like Tanner will never be able to live this one down...

    Footlong 100% Pork Dog covered in mango-mango: For that special someone with a foot fetish and other attributes

    Too funny! I remember watching that episode (#6) on abc.com and they kept advertising those Footlongs for Five Dollars over and over and I was complaining "Couldn't they have been more subtle?"

    Microwaved Volcano Dogs: Quick and easy, but may blow up on you ... gives me strange images in my head...

  5. #345
    Summer Break bamabrain's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    You've done it now, I'msotired. I'm commissioning you to ghost write the book. Your satiric humor and correct pronoun usage are an unbeatable combo.

  6. #346
    FORT Fogey I'msotired's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by bamabrain;3658990;
    You've done it now, I'msotired. I'm commissioning you to ghost write the book. Your satiric humor and correct pronoun usage are an unbeatable combo.
    LOL! As the niece of an English teacher, the sister of an English professor, the daughter of parents who insisted on proper grammar and the student of the scariest 7th grade English teacher EVER, I thank you. (An aside to my 7th grade teacher: I was too frightened of you to not learn!)
    Every time MF grins, somewhere in the world a unicorn dies.
    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

  7. #347
    FORT Fan GAGIRLHOOKED's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by I'msotired;3658711;


    Hi everyone! Itís totally awesome to be back and still be so loved. Iím thrilled you all feel I made the totally right choice at the end of the show. Now that Iím totally out of the spotlight, I thought it was a perfect time for my new book. They told me I had to write an outline before theyíd consider publishing it, so here goes.

    Thereís been so much interest in my awesome theory from the show with that short guy last season that I decided to write a book with all my wicked wonderful advice and tips on dating and on how to prepare your dog. Since you can all see how awesomely well itís worked out for me, I figured there was a market and all my awesome fans would rush right out and buy it so that they, too, can be as happy as I am. Wicked awesome, eh? Just think: even YOU can end up with someone as special as ED. All you have to do is buy my book. It ought to sell like hotcakes, eh?

    Anyway, hereís my awesome outline.

    Part 1 Dating Dogs. Oops. Dating and Hot Dogs: How to Prepare The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

    Chapter 1. Texas Rodeo Dogs: Chunks of pork and bologna

    Chapter 2. Jenga Dogs: Serve with with plenty of baked beans and cabbage

    Chapter 3. Microwaved Volcano Dogs: Quick and easy, but may blow up on you

    Chapter 4. Fried Dogs: Be sure to use at least sunscreen level 30, or the dogs will shrivel up and just lie there on your plate

    Chapter 5. Chicago-Style Dogs: Place 4 on a shared bun


    Part II. How to know which type of hot dog to use for that special occasion, and the perfect way to serve it

    Chapter 1. Turkey Dog Steamed in Beer: Perfect for dates with mancode morons

    Chapter 2. Footlong 100% Pork Dog covered in mango-mango: For that special someone with a foot fetish and other attributes

    Chapter 3. Kosher Dog topped with freshly washed chopped veggies: Just the right touch for snuggling up with honey-bears

    Chapter 4. Faux-meat Vegetarian Dog dripping with pickle relish: When dining and dancing to your favorite CD

    Chapter 5. 100% All-Beef Dog served with sea salt: For when you need to eat quickly because there are other things youíd rather do after surfing all day

    Chapter 6. Polish Sausage Dog spit-fire grilled and served plain: Perfect for cozying up with dinner and a good magazine to thumb through

    You are amazing! I can't decide what I look forward to the most... new news of Reid or your posts!!!

  8. #348
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    I'msotires- you are sooooooo talented

    my favorite was ---- Chicago-Style Dogs: Place 4 on a shared bun ------- good one!!!
    I hate to brag but I tried on some earrings that I wore in highschool... and they still fit
    Proud member of the Rose Coloured Glasses Club

  9. #349
    FORT Fogey Phyllie's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by I'msotired;3658711;
    Chapter 5. Chicago-Style Dogs: Place 4 on a shared bun
    Shouldn't this one be "four buns share one little wiener?

  10. #350
    FORT Fogey I'msotired's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Phyllie;3659250;
    Shouldn't this one be "four buns share one little wiener?
    That would have been SO much better!
    Every time MF grins, somewhere in the world a unicorn dies.
    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

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