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Thread: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

  1. #311
    FORT Fogey Nibbles22's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Avalon ~ I loved that caption for the pic in Times Square!!
    This is freaking CRAzy ~ I'm 0 for 20!

  2. #312
    FORT Regular SewCrazy's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    With all the limericks and haikus being posted (mostly in the Reid thread after his Twitter Haiku Call), I thought I'd get into the spirit with my own "little" poem. (Read it like The Night Before Christmas):

    ‘Twas the weeks following after
    The last Bachelorette season
    Our girl Jilly chose Ed
    We’re not sure of the reason …

    She started off happy
    With thirty great guys
    Not knowing she’d end up
    With deception and lies

    She liked his mankini
    And Ice Cream Man suit
    Thought his drunk frat-boy antics
    Were really a hoot!

    Ed left our Dear Girl
    During the fifth episode
    Had to leave for his job
    Was the lie that he told

    He went home to Chicago
    Seduced Two to his bed
    Took one to a wedding
    Signed his name Hollywood Ed

    Then returned to the show
    And Jilly’s favor he’d gain
    With his surprise show return
    Was then off to see Spain

    Then on to Hawaii
    We saw trouble in bed
    Turns out it was sunburn
    And fatigue, Jilly said

    Even After Engagement
    He was cheating, we fear
    And was texting one girl
    To bring condoms and beer

    Now scandal is brewing
    Miss Jilly is mad
    That The Media is causing
    She & Ed to feel sad

    She’d like everyone
    To just leave them alone
    Please give her some time
    To check his cell phone!

    Does this hurt ABC?
    Not one tiny bit
    The drama and scandal
    Is considered a hit!

    Mike Fleiss, The Producer
    Some say he’s a skank
    Is laughing, quite loudly
    All the way to the bank.

  3. #313
    FORT Fogey Nibbles22's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!!
    This is freaking CRAzy ~ I'm 0 for 20!

  4. #314
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by BritLit;3652930;
    The Top Ten Messages Ed's Left on Jillian's Answering Machine

    10. Sure we can go to a karaoke bar this weekend. Just not the Blue Frog. It’ so last week.

    9. Yo, sweet thing, the guy from the locksmith’s coming today to change the locks. Been meaning to do that for a while; they give out keys to these apartments like candy.

    8. Honey, my mom called. She thinks she left a pair of earrings on my nightstand.

    7. It’s me. Look, don’t be mad. That diamond ring you found in the drawer? I know it Looks like an engagement ring, but it’s an anniversary ring. For you.

    6. Hi, sweetie. Just wanted to give you my new cell phone number. It's the darnedest thing; I can't find the old one anywhere.

    5. Lo, honeybun. I forgot to mention: the computer isn't working. I had to bring in the hard drive to reformat it. Have it back home tonight.

    4. Hey, babes, got some really bad news; I won’t be able to go with you to Cousin Tori's wedding; gotta go to Chihuahua on business.

    3. Hello. Got your message. I’d love to do it, but I’m so busy with work I can’t make that interview with US Magazine. You’ll be great without me.

    2. Edster here. About that couples’ counseling tonight. Okay if I bring a friend or two?

    And the number one message Ed left on Jillian’s answering machine?

    1. This is Ed. Umm who am I calling?
    .
    That was great!!

  5. #315
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Nibbles22;3654138;
    Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!!
    Agreed!! Great job!!

  6. #316
    FORT Newbie tapsgirl614's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by BritLit;3652930;
    The Top Ten Messages Ed's Left on Jillian's Answering Machine

    10. Sure we can go to a karaoke bar this weekend. Just not the Blue Frog. It’ so last week.

    9. Yo, sweet thing, the guy from the locksmith’s coming today to change the locks. Been meaning to do that for a while; they give out keys to these apartments like candy.

    8. Honey, my mom called. She thinks she left a pair of earrings on my nightstand.

    7. It’s me. Look, don’t be mad. That diamond ring you found in the drawer? I know it Looks like an engagement ring, but it’s an anniversary ring. For you.

    6. Hi, sweetie. Just wanted to give you my new cell phone number. It's the darnedest thing; I can't find the old one anywhere.

    5. Lo, honeybun. I forgot to mention: the computer isn't working. I had to bring in the hard drive to reformat it. Have it back home tonight.

    4. Hey, babes, got some really bad news; I won’t be able to go with you to Cousin Tori's wedding; gotta go to Chihuahua on business.

    3. Hello. Got your message. I’d love to do it, but I’m so busy with work I can’t make that interview with US Magazine. You’ll be great without me.

    2. Edster here. About that couples’ counseling tonight. Okay if I bring a friend or two?

    And the number one message Ed left on Jillian’s answering machine?

    1. This is Ed. Umm who am I calling?
    .
    HAHA love it!
    "I fact that's the whole point...it's either trying to get you to help it, or it gets a kick outta scaring you"

  7. #317
    FORT Fanatic lavender1960's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Quote Originally Posted by Nibbles22;3654138;
    Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!!
    My lord the talent at this board is astounding, that is perfect Sewcrazy, just perfect

  8. #318
    FORT Fogey I'msotired's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Sewcrazy - That was wonderful! I read it with a Dr.Seuss lilt, lol. Very fun and very clever! Thank you.
    Every time MF grins, somewhere in the world a unicorn dies.
    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

  9. #319
    FORT Regular Pete B's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    I knew that leaving you guys for a few days would lead to no good - you have managed to get the moderators to close off most of the threads.

    So where do I post now!?!

    Well, my poetry is bad!
    But, in the spirit of this thread!
    Let me give it a try!
    (Here please insert a very big sigh):


    .
    The Next Bachelor

    O who, o who will it be,
    Who's the next Bachelor whom we will very soon see?

    Will it be Jake, the eagle from the sky?
    Who some say is perfect, and will not let anyone lie!

    Will it be Dave the ManCode knight?
    Who really knows how to treat a lady right!

    Will it be Juan, the boy from LA?
    Who is fun and polite and gay!

    Will it be Kip, the surfer dude galore?
    Who left so many ladies wanting him more!

    Will it be Tanner P., with the fetish beat?
    Who will spend the Fantasy Date time licking your feet!

    Will it be Reid, the honeybear with the extra ring?
    Who reminds some of Chandler Bing!

    Will it be Michael with his identical twin?
    Oh the drama that Fleiss could then spin!

    The truth is I do not know who it will be!
    But I certainly know whom I would like to see!
    Mike Fleiss, step up to the plate and show us your stuff!
    And see how, for a change, you like being treated like fluff!
    .

  10. #320
    FORT Fogey northernviewer's Avatar
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    Re: Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

    Way to go sewcrazy and peteb

    I went out to the show and came back to another closed thread Oh well, we can still say what we want about Ed but we'll just have to get real creative and say it in rhyme.....
    I hate to brag but I tried on some earrings that I wore in highschool... and they still fit
    Proud member of the Rose Coloured Glasses Club

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