Fun With the Bachelorette - Jillian

Avalon ~ I loved that caption for the pic in Times Square!! :biglove

With all the limericks and haikus being posted (mostly in the Reid thread after his Twitter Haiku Call), I thought I'd get into the spirit with my own "little" poem. (Read it like The Night Before Christmas):

‘Twas the weeks following after
The last Bachelorette season
Our girl Jilly chose Ed
We’re not sure of the reason …

She started off happy
With thirty great guys
Not knowing she’d end up
With deception and lies

She liked his mankini
And Ice Cream Man suit
Thought his drunk frat-boy antics
Were really a hoot!

Ed left our Dear Girl
During the fifth episode
Had to leave for his job
Was the lie that he told

He went home to Chicago
Seduced Two to his bed
Took one to a wedding
Signed his name Hollywood Ed

Then returned to the show
And Jilly’s favor he’d gain
With his surprise show return
Was then off to see Spain

Then on to Hawaii
We saw trouble in bed
Turns out it was sunburn
And fatigue, Jilly said

Even After Engagement
He was cheating, we fear
And was texting one girl
To bring condoms and beer

Now scandal is brewing
Miss Jilly is mad
That The Media is causing
She & Ed to feel sad

She’d like everyone
To just leave them alone
Please give her some time
To check his cell phone!

Does this hurt ABC?
Not one tiny bit
The drama and scandal
Is considered a hit!

Mike Fleiss, The Producer
Some say he’s a skank
Is laughing, quite loudly
All the way to the bank.

Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!! :rofl

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BritLit;3652930;

The Top Ten Messages Ed's Left on Jillian's Answering Machine

10. Sure we can go to a karaoke bar this weekend. Just not the Blue Frog. It’ so last week.

9. Yo, sweet thing, the guy from the locksmith’s coming today to change the locks. Been meaning to do that for a while; they give out keys to these apartments like candy.

8. Honey, my mom called. She thinks she left a pair of earrings on my nightstand.

7. It’s me. Look, don’t be mad. That diamond ring you found in the drawer? I know it Looks like an engagement ring, but it’s an anniversary ring. For you.

6. Hi, sweetie. Just wanted to give you my new cell phone number. It's the darnedest thing; I can't find the old one anywhere.

5. Lo, honeybun. I forgot to mention: the computer isn't working. I had to bring in the hard drive to reformat it. Have it back home tonight.

4. Hey, babes, got some really bad news; I won’t be able to go with you to Cousin Tori's wedding; gotta go to Chihuahua on business.

3. Hello. Got your message. I’d love to do it, but I’m so busy with work I can’t make that interview with US Magazine. You’ll be great without me.

2. Edster here. About that couples’ counseling tonight. Okay if I bring a friend or two?

And the number one message Ed left on Jillian’s answering machine?

1. This is Ed. Umm who am I calling?
.

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That was great!! :laugh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nibbles22;3654138;

Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!! :rofl

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Agreed!! Great job!! :rofl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BritLit;3652930;

The Top Ten Messages Ed's Left on Jillian's Answering Machine

10. Sure we can go to a karaoke bar this weekend. Just not the Blue Frog. It’ so last week.

9. Yo, sweet thing, the guy from the locksmith’s coming today to change the locks. Been meaning to do that for a while; they give out keys to these apartments like candy.

8. Honey, my mom called. She thinks she left a pair of earrings on my nightstand.

7. It’s me. Look, don’t be mad. That diamond ring you found in the drawer? I know it Looks like an engagement ring, but it’s an anniversary ring. For you.

6. Hi, sweetie. Just wanted to give you my new cell phone number. It's the darnedest thing; I can't find the old one anywhere.

5. Lo, honeybun. I forgot to mention: the computer isn't working. I had to bring in the hard drive to reformat it. Have it back home tonight.

4. Hey, babes, got some really bad news; I won’t be able to go with you to Cousin Tori's wedding; gotta go to Chihuahua on business.

3. Hello. Got your message. I’d love to do it, but I’m so busy with work I can’t make that interview with US Magazine. You’ll be great without me.

2. Edster here. About that couples’ counseling tonight. Okay if I bring a friend or two?

And the number one message Ed left on Jillian’s answering machine?

1. This is Ed. Umm who am I calling?
.

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HAHA love it! :laugh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nibbles22;3654138;

Sewcrazy ~ This is HYSTERICAL!! :rofl

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My lord the talent at this board is astounding, that is perfect Sewcrazy, just perfect:rofl:rofl

Sewcrazy - That was wonderful! I read it with a Dr.Seuss lilt, lol. Very fun and very clever! Thank you.

I knew that leaving you guys for a few days would lead to no good - you have managed to get the moderators to close off most of the threads.

So where do I post now!?! :laugh

Well, my poetry is bad!
But, in the spirit of this thread!
Let me give it a try!
(Here please insert a very big sigh):


.
The Next Bachelor

O who, o who will it be,
Who's the next Bachelor whom we will very soon see?

Will it be Jake, the eagle from the sky?
Who some say is perfect, and will not let anyone lie!

Will it be Dave the ManCode knight?
Who really knows how to treat a lady right!

Will it be Juan, the boy from LA?
Who is fun and polite and gay!

Will it be Kip, the surfer dude galore?
Who left so many ladies wanting him more!

Will it be Tanner P., with the fetish beat?
Who will spend the Fantasy Date time licking your feet!

Will it be Reid, the honeybear with the extra ring?
Who reminds some of Chandler Bing!

Will it be Michael with his identical twin?
Oh the drama that Fleiss could then spin!

The truth is I do not know who it will be!
But I certainly know whom I would like to see!
Mike Fleiss, step up to the plate and show us your stuff!
And see how, for a change, you like being treated like fluff!
.

Way to go sewcrazy and peteb :lol

I went out to the show and came back to another closed thread :( Oh well, we can still say what we want about Ed but we'll just have to get real creative and say it in rhyme..... ;)