Graham - Bachelorette 4

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by natashapierre

Actually, I think I meant something more intense than you're talking about here. I meant that, when I saw DeAnna -- to my eyes, anyway -- get way *more* frantic to hold onto Brad and more emotional about him after he'd dumped her, I saw it as her unconsciously really really seriously linking the feeling of love with fear, anxiety and loss. I agree with you that there's a brand of this feeling in the excitement of any early love, but I also think that some people equate all love with this feeling, period, and, unlike you, I think I see signs that DeAnna may have this problem.

In the long run, I think it would probably work best for her to be in a couple with somebody who gives her that feeling -- but a relationship like that, while it would end up to be most satisfying, I'll bet, is also probably the hardest thing to work out. Like, here, I think she'd be happiest with Graham in the long run, provided they could work together to understand themselves and move their relationship to stability, since he gives her that feeling. But sleuthers say that she's going to dump him, so I guess we won't get to see it.

Unlike you, I don't see DeAnna as seasoned and experienced, though. The Brad episode, stuff she's said about it afterward, what seems to me her kind of frantic attempts to control this situation, and her keeping somebody around like Jesse who to me seems not to be even slightly interested in her while dumping most every guy who shows strong interest before it can even be explored very much suggests to me that, while well intentioned, she's pretty lacking in self awareness and seasoning at this point. I'm betting her life has been just one complicated situation into another to this point, with no chance to breathe and reflect. She looks to me like a nice, pretty smart person who, at 26, is still pretty completely ruled by bad patterns that she was thrust into as a kid.

Time will tell, I guess.

I totally see where you're coming from with the Brad situation, and since I didn't watch that season or much of the fallout, I cannot dispute what you're saying. If we are comparing that situation to the one with G, then you're right in saying that time will tell. We'll see how she acts once it's all over.

And, while I do think that G is the guy for her, I don't doubt for a minute that they would have a lot to work out. I just think they have the strongest connection of any of the other guys. They can work the rest out, if given the time IMHO.

[Google]

 

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by caramelbeauty81

Dreamfan,
You know I never favored Graham at least to be with her but your post is really making me change my mind. You made alot of solid points.

Thanks.

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by moxie345

Regarding eye contact.....

I just wanted to throw out there that my bf of almost 8 years (who loves me very much, I know) is very bad at making eye contact, I don't think he doesn't make eye contact because he's "not interested", I've hassled him about it before (because I always make eye contact when I'm talking to someone in person) and he said that he doesn't feel it's necessary to make eye contact just to have a convo. Maybe other guys feel this way too? Just a thought.

That could be it, too. I don't necessarily believe that someone can't love someone else because of lack of eye contact or too much.

Where Graham is concerned though, I just don't think that eye contact is a problem or potential problem. It's just something I think has been blown up...

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by blueyedgirl

I'm with you Dream Fan...Graham is the one for her.

I think we are likethis with our thoughts.

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by Cailg

dream fan, you do make some very solid points. I have to agree that from my personal experiences, when I was falling in love, I had a whole mixed bag of emotions. Yes, we argued sometimes because we felt so deeply about each other, and sometimes one person feels a bit insecure or hurt about something unintended by the other. I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, I see the chemistry between Graham and DeAnna big time. I hope they are both happy, but if not, and they are still harboring feelings for one another, I hope they reach out for each other (assuming she isn't with the F1).

It makes perfect sense. I can definitely relate.

And I totally agree with your other statement as well.

[lookinout]

as far as the eye contact thing goes, i don't think a lack of eye contact means the person isn't interested. I myself am bad at (I've been working on it) but I know that I'm being genuine in conversations/relationships that I'm having.

yesterday someone mentioned Graham checking out De's butt when they got the date box...i went back and watched that scene and it made me lol. Graham even took a few extra steps back to get a better look...lol...luv him.

And, while I do think that G is the guy for her, I don't doubt for a minute that they would have a lot to work out. I just think they have the strongest connection of any of the other guys. They can work the rest out, if given the time IMHO.

I totally agree with this. IMO they'd be doing themselves a disservice by not following through with their connection.

[nuthinsayzluvin]

Originally Posted by Toughness

The plain truth is that Graham is just a really attractive guy....he's just sexy and has a personality that most girls can't help but love. Unless DeAnna is some ultimate girl, Graham is not going to fall head over heels for her. He can get A LOT of women. I think it's just hard for Graham to fall in love when he's so likable. I'm sure he likes DeAnna but he's not madly in love with her...DeAnna knows this deep down and I think that Graham being there is making this whole process hard for her. In her heart she is falling in love with him but her head is telling her differently...she knows he can't give her what she wants...I feel sorry for her cuz he IS making some effort so it's hard for her to just ignore that cuz she wants him but she knows in the end his feelings will not last. I think Graham likes DeAnna more just because the other guys like her too ....if he was just dating her one on one his feelings wouldn't have lasted this long.

Why then, Toughness, would he have gone on the show?

She's had her heart broken once already!...what kind of southern gentleman would deliberately hurt someone.

He did it when he wouldn't kiss her ...were there more times that we didn't get to see?
It breaks my heart to think like this

[realitygirl523]

i really feel that graham and her have the strongest attraction and even connection that we dont see,they have arguement like any couple would cause we all not perfect.He is afarid and even scared that she can lose what she feels for him when she is with the other guys,i get him but he has to back off of that cause it looks like he is going to lose her in the next episode cause she is devasted and crying alot at the decision she made.I believe she is saying that she tried and tried but cant anymore and i feel she is saying that to him.It is going to hurt him alot but im sure that he is going to be fine at the end of it all

[caramelbeauty81]

Graham is hot but is it just me or is his lips chapped alot? That drives me crazy.

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by caramelbeauty81

Graham is hot but is it just me or is his lips chapped alot? That drives me crazy.

Hmmm, I really hadn't noticed. I'm off to do some research on those lips.