Page 14 of 26 FirstFirst ... 456789101112131415161718192021222324 ... LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 252

Thread: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

  1. #131
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Vancouver area, B.C., Canada
    Posts
    10

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain, Jake Pavelka speaking. I'd like to welcome you aboard Flight 666 today.



    Our flight time should be 1 hour and 45 minutes, which, coincidentally, is about how long most of my relationships have lasted.



    Our cruising altitude will be exactly 39,000 feet. No need to take out a tape measure, ladies and gentlemen, I've got it all under control. Last night I came out here and measured it myself, so that I could give you the exact specifications.



    Today, our flight is non-stop L.A. via Hollywood, home of the stars and the celebrities, such as myself. In fact, I bet some of you remember me from The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, DWTS and Drop Dead Vienna....er...Diva.



    Current conditions in Hollywood are 75 degrees, light winds, and broken clouds. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, that I can't fix those clouds any more than I can all my broken relationships.



    Our inflight meal today is skewered crow, followed by a savary humble pie (baked by the good woman at home) and, to finish, your dessert choice of pound cake or snow pudding.



    Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats at all times. Failure to do so will result in a stern look from me, Jake Pavelka, pilot and Hollywood star.



    And please, ladies and gentlemen, no interrupting me while I am speaking or I may be forced to come out of the cockpit and raise my hand to you. Please listen attentively and just let me get out my side of the announcement.



    At any time, should cabin pressure change, please attempt to appear normal.



    We may experience some turbulence along the way but, ladies and gentlemen, I wish to remind you that this is no reason to undermine me, Jake Pavelka, your reality star pilot.



    On behalf of the crew -- uh, actually, who gives a *&!@ about the crew, ladies and gentlemen -- on behalf of me, Jake Pavelka, we hope you enjoy your fright today on Air Narcissus.

  2. #132
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,116

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Marianna, where have you been all this time? That was hysterical! Thank you.
    This isn’t the Sound of freaking Music we’re watching.......sdl

  3. #133
    ... Ryvetted's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    7,545

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Haha! Jake measured the 39,000 feet with his tape measure!!

    So funny, Marianna!!

  4. #134
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Vancouver area, B.C., Canada
    Posts
    10

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Thanks for the welcome, guys.

    I'm new here but I have been posting my musings on the ABC board since Jillian's season.

    I'm not very familiar with this forum so wasn't sure where I should post things like this.

  5. #135
    FORT Regular Juliet M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    89

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Quote Originally Posted by Marianna;3967899;
    Thanks for the welcome, guys.

    I'm new here but I have been posting my musings on the ABC board since Jillian's season.

    I'm not very familiar with this forum so wasn't sure where I should post things like this.
    Marianna! So great to see you over here! That was brilliant, as usual.

  6. #136
    Fort Blondie BlondieGal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6,362

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Very funny, Marianna! Welcome to the Fort!
    And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know ~ Kansas

  7. #137
    FORT Fogey SaffronSunrise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,401

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Quote Originally Posted by Marianna;3967899;
    Thanks for the welcome, guys.

    I'm new here but I have been posting my musings on the ABC board since Jillian's season.

    I'm not very familiar with this forum so wasn't sure where I should post things like this.


    Very nice!!!!

    Ooops. I think Jake was just saying something, didn't mean to interrupt.
    “When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.” Kay Yow

  8. #138
    FORT Newbie Sweetness34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    21

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    That was so funny Marianna!!!
    Hope you do more...

  9. #139
    FORT Fan
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    394

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Quote Originally Posted by Marianna;3967675;
    Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain, Jake Pavelka speaking. I'd like to welcome you aboard Flight 666 today.



    Our flight time should be 1 hour and 45 minutes, which, coincidentally, is about how long most of my relationships have lasted.



    Our cruising altitude will be exactly 39,000 feet. No need to take out a tape measure, ladies and gentlemen, I've got it all under control. Last night I came out here and measured it myself, so that I could give you the exact specifications.


    Today, our flight is non-stop L.A. via Hollywood, home of the stars and the celebrities, such as myself. In fact, I bet some of you remember me from The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, DWTS and Drop Dead Vienna....er...Diva.



    Current conditions in Hollywood are 75 degrees, light winds, and broken clouds. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, that I can't fix those clouds any more than I can all my broken relationships.



    Our inflight meal today is skewered crow, followed by a savary humble pie (baked by the good woman at home) and, to finish, your dessert choice of pound cake or snow pudding.



    Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats at all times. Failure to do so will result in a stern look from me, Jake Pavelka, pilot and Hollywood star.



    And please, ladies and gentlemen, no interrupting me while I am speaking or I may be forced to come out of the cockpit and raise my hand to you. Please listen attentively and just let me get out my side of the announcement.



    At any time, should cabin pressure change, please attempt to appear normal.



    We may experience some turbulence along the way but, ladies and gentlemen, I wish to remind you that this is no reason to undermine me, Jake Pavelka, your reality star pilot.



    On behalf of the crew -- uh, actually, who gives a *&!@ about the crew, ladies and gentlemen -- on behalf of me, Jake Pavelka, we hope you enjoy your fright today on Air Narcissus.
    Marianna, so glad you and your musings have found a new home. Welcome to FORT!!

  10. #140
    FORT Fogey I'msotired's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,463

    Re: Fun with the Bachelorette - Ali

    Quote Originally Posted by Marianna;3967899;
    Thanks for the welcome, guys.

    I'm new here but I have been posting my musings on the ABC board since Jillian's season.

    I'm not very familiar with this forum so wasn't sure where I should post things like this.
    Well, I'm glad you found the right place, Marianna. That was hysterical. Loved it!
    Every time MF grins, somewhere in the world a unicorn dies.
    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.