Bachelorette 5 Thoughts and Comments

[weesa]

Is it really important to tell someone "I love you" or "I'm in love with you" all the time. Who needs to be convinced? Don't actions speak louder than words. The little things that a mate does to show he/she cares and puts their partner's needs and interests a little ahead of their own? But what does it mean to say those words all the time anyways.?

People toss the love word like candy on Halloween night to mean a whole range of feelings. It has become such a generic term for feelings that are not really so deep. Examples, I love how you think, I love to go shopping, I love hanging out with you, I love pizza, I love going to the movies, I love my sister, and so on.

Then you have the Deannnnnna's of the world who use "love" as a cop out of a relationship with "I love you" but "I'm not in love with you".

Haven't we heard of long time best friends who suddenly say they are IN LOVE and get married? Whether by choice or unconsciously we often choose mates who mirror back to us who we are. Opposites attract and get along great bec' they complement each other. Sometimes people marry someone who share their views, values, interests, personalities. They could still clash if for example they are both equally stubborn. Ultimately it's a mix bag of candy/chocolates. We choose who we do by design, by accident, by choice or claim to settle for what comes our way. Call it fate or destiny, but it sure plays a role in our finding our mates, whether they are soul mates or not.

When one loves somebody doesn't it really imply you accept them quirks and all, in spite of the neurosis, even their sometimes embarrassing behavior. It's supposed to mean total acceptance.

Jillian wants Reid to verbalize with the "L" word. He is reluctant to say it but uses "I like you a lot", "I have serious feelings for you" to express his feelings. Somehow she is still caught up in the "L" word as the only acceptable word in the dictionary that she wants to hear from him to express his feelings. If it came from any one other than the one she really wants to hear it from will she settle for him just bec' he said the "L" word? In Spain she told Reid she is not someone who needs to hear it every day from her mate. Did she even realize what she was saying? It's like someone who decides she must marry her Prince Charming, just the way she fantasized him to be? What if her Prince Charming turns out to be a bit on the chunky side, with thinning hair but had a heart of gold, with a personality to boot?

I don't get Jillian's fixation with wanting to hear the "L" word. Oh well!

ITA and agree that you have put this very well. A quick question. Did Jill ever say to Jason that she was in love with him? If not, then why does she need for Reid to say that to her if everything else was there? She said it herself on the bench....you're everything I was looking for..

[AvalonR]

I understand why some see indecisive and neurotic, seeing as those were words Reid used to describe himself---although I maintain that those descriptors were used as exaggerations of what are more like tendencies than serious problems. Deeply flawed? I don't see deeply flawed. When I hear that term I think of someone who has serious issues that can't be overcome and are damaging to the person and others. I don't see those characteristics in Reid, even in his edited form. JMO.

Fine, then maybe flawed, but not deeply? My point was that they are really over-emphasizing Reid's "flaws" in the edit. I see this now after having re-watched his HTD and hearing the comments from his family, in addition to the labels we've seen Reid give himself: "neurotic," "indecisive," "cynical," etc. I simply don't see them doing this nearly as much with the other men.

I believe they've constructed this 'character' of Reid for a distinct purpose. Now we see him in the limo, saying he "(bleeped) up" and that he feels it's his "fault." As someone else said, the wheels are now turning.

In no way do I think Reid is necessarily flawed in real life (at least not more than the rest of us), but I do believe they are trying to show a character transformation here, of someone who has 'overcome' an obstacle. And I do think that will appeal to the masses. JMO.

[Alexxxx]

This is my first season on FORT and I can tell you real quick that I am addicted. I am in awe of the skills some of you have in sleuthing. I was reading some of the comments on the now forever famous bedroom scene and then watched one of the video tributes to Jillian and Reid. I just can not believe that there is no REAL connection between those two. I then had these random thoughts on the discussion of the parents watching that bedroom scene.

1. There really is a connection between Jillian and Reid and Reid is in on the "acting" in the other two scenes.

2. Kip shuts the door...no cameras..nothing happened. Kip knew Jillian and Reid's feelings and agreed to it.

3. Jillian has been informed about Eds return to Chicago ,, agrees to productions plans to throw him under the bus. Maybe they even went so far as to slip a little something to help him sleep in his drink.

That would solve Reids problem with not being able to go farther with the commitment with two other guys involved. TPTB got their ratings from the ED situation plus the production crew got payback for Ed being hard to work with. Reid could tell his family it was all set up so that MomMom would not think less of Jillian. everyone is happy...Jillian and Reid together...Kip possibly new Bachelor... except Ed who is still squashed under the wheels of the bus.

I just can not help it I am a total romantic and see so much between Jillian and Reid I can't help but hope for a happy ending for them.

1. You believe Jillian was acting in the FS scenes with Kip and Ed and that Reid was in on the acting? First of all, those FS scenes were not acting on anyone's part. Jillian couldn't wait to get her hands on Kip, it's what she's wanted where he's concerned this whole show, she has as much as said it. And the Ed FS scene couldn't have been any more real or raw. Reid has admitted to being jealous of the other guys, so we're supposed to believe he's okay with her being nearly nude throwing herself at him? Don't think so.

2. This one really kills me. I've read some variation on this theme many times. So, Kip is such a good friend, buddy, pal, of Reid's that he's just a placeholder at F2 so that nobody else can get that close to her. Kip is a generous man and spends tons of time doing charity work for those less fortunate, but he's not a social worker! If he went to the FS with Jillian, it's because he wanted to be in the FS with Jillian, and I can guarantee Reid was the furthest thing from his mind.

3. No way is Jillian acting where her feelings for Ed are concerned. It's written all over her face every time she looks at him. He's got something she really wants (far be it from me to know what that is, but so be it).

Beware of those tribute videos. They're made with complete 'tunnel vision'. I'm sure we could be convinced Jillian is in love with CH if anyone ever decided to do a tribute video of them.

[Alanna]

Is it really important to tell someone "I love you" or "I'm in love with you" all the time. Who needs to be convinced? Don't actions speak louder than words. The little things that a mate does to show he/she cares and puts their partner's needs and interests a little ahead of their own? But what does it mean to say those words all the time anyways.?

People toss the love word like candy on Halloween night to mean a whole range of feelings. It has become such a generic term for feelings that are not really so deep. Examples, I love how you think, I love to go shopping, I love hanging out with you, I love pizza, I love going to the movies, I love my sister, and so on.

Then you have the Deannnnnna's of the world who use "love" as a cop out of a relationship with "I love you" but "I'm not in love with you".

Haven't we heard of long time best friends who suddenly say they are IN LOVE and get married? Whether by choice or unconsciously we often choose mates who mirror back to us who we are. Opposites attract and get along great bec' they complement each other. Sometimes people marry someone who share their views, values, interests, personalities. They could still clash if for example they are both equally stubborn. Ultimately it's a mix bag of candy/chocolates. We choose who we do by design, by accident, by choice or claim to settle for what comes our way. Call it fate or destiny, but it sure plays a role in our finding our mates, whether they are soul mates or not.

When one loves somebody doesn't it really imply you accept them quirks and all, in spite of the neurosis, even their sometimes embarrassing behavior. It's supposed to mean total acceptance.

Jillian wants Reid to verbalize with the "L" word. He is reluctant to say it but uses "I like you a lot", "I have serious feelings for you" to express his feelings. Somehow she is still caught up in the "L" word as the only acceptable word in the dictionary that she wants to hear from him to express his feelings. If it came from any one other than the one she really wants to hear it from will she settle for him just bec' he said the "L" word? In Spain she told Reid she is not someone who needs to hear it every day from her mate. Did she even realize what she was saying? It's like someone who decides she must marry her Prince Charming, just the way she fantasized him to be? What if her Prince Charming turns out to be a bit on the chunky side, with thinning hair but had a heart of gold, with a personality to boot?

I don't get Jillian's fixation with wanting to hear the "L" word. Oh well!

I agree with you and think Jilly is being a complete and total dumbass about this whole situation but I can also see it from her perspective. She doesn't want to be standing up there alone, professing her love for Reid, crying over him, wishing for him to feel what she does and instead, he feels nothing. We know that's not true, it's so obvious that he is completely insane about her and would never say anything to hurt her or upset her. However, at the same time, the nature of the show dictates that you're 100% upfront about your feelings or any feelings you think you have. I would hope that in real life, Jilly would recognize that Reid's behavior is absolutely SCREAMING that he's falling in love with her too and she can trust him but I can understand why she's so afraid. How will she look if she invests anymore of herself in Reid and he can't verbally reciprocate his feelings?

She alternates between being really needy with him- So will you propose? Will you? Will you? Huh??- to being a complete and total teasing brat- taunting 'love, love, love' in the FS. Of course she knew if he was kissing her neck, snuggling with her, looking her directly in the eyes and running his hands up and down her body, he must be feeling something but she still needed to tease him about it. I think a part of her, a very strong and significant part that will come out in the finale, realizes that his actions are screaming to her that she and most importantly her feelings are completely safe and taken care of with him. But she doesn't want to trust those instincts too much because what if she's wrong and she looks like an idiot standing up by herself at FRC?

[weesa]

I think a lot of us ended up with someone who, originally, wasn't "on our list." And that relationship may have had some twists and turns before we were willing to accept that change of mind/heart. It's not that easy to question what it means about us if we choose the unlikely one, if we are suddenly faced with going off-message from a life-long idea about ourselves. To make it easy, instead of getting rid of the list, we just get rid of the guy.

And somewhere in the process of losing the guy, we realize getting rid of the list was a much, much better idea.

Not that I know anything about that process, of course.

I wholeheartedly agree.....I mean it's not like I haven't experienced that myself....the one not on my list. Actually mine was on my list...it just took him awhile to get me on his list through lots of twists and turns.

[Alanna]

Yeah, too bad you aren't on my team too.

We know there is going to be some sort of dramatic twist at the end. So of the remaining F2, it is more likely to be Ed (Prince Charming) who will be the one to create the drama at the end. Based on Ed's history on the show already--we know there will be some grand standing for sure. Reid (White Knight) will return with a surprise confession of love to totally confuse Jillian but ultimately rescue her from disaster. All the while Kip, (Surfer dude-next Bachelor) will step back and watch all this drama take place while Prince Charming and the White Knight fight over Jillian. He's thinking about grabbing a surf board and heading down to the surf. While all of activity will be wrapped up in a 5 minute dramatic "twist" at the end - we know better as it took almost 8 hours of filming to pull it off.

Still, I am holding out for the fairy tale ending.

So, so true. Kip is seriously calling it a day and going out surfing. He's too good for all this ridiculous drama that is about to come. No worries, I'm sure once Fleiss gets his claws into him when/if he's the next Bach, things will be even more dramatic than they are for Jilly. Isn't that what Fleiss' goal is: up the ante every season? Oh man.

And I am definitely still going to be holding up for that fantasy, perfect ending. Truth be told, if Ed was kind and respectable and could actually convince me that he's in love with Jilly and is ready to give her what she needs, then I'd be fine with him winning. But no matter how much I try, I just do not think he's being honest and sincere with her. I'm sorry! I'm trying, really!

[StanleyCupCanes]

1. You believe Jillian was acting in the FS scenes with Kip and Ed and that Reid was in on the acting? First of all, those FS scenes were not acting on anyone's part. Jillian couldn't wait to get her hands on Kip, it's what she's wanted where he's concerned this whole show, she has as much as said it. And the Ed FS scene couldn't have been any more real or raw. Reid has admitted to being jealous of the other guys, so we're supposed to believe he's okay with her being nearly nude throwing herself at him? Don't think so.

2. This one really kills me. I've read some variation on this theme many times. So, Kip is such a good friend, buddy, pal, of Reid's that he's just a placeholder at F2 so that nobody else can get that close to her. Kip is a generous man and spends tons of time doing charity work for those less fortunate, but he's not a social worker! If he went to the FS with Jillian, it's because he wanted to be in the FS with Jillian, and I can guarantee Reid was the furthest thing from his mind.

3. No way is Jillian acting where her feelings for Ed are concerned. It's written all over her face every time she looks at him. He's got something she really wants (far be it from me to know what that is, but so be it).

Beware of those tribute videos. They're made with complete 'tunnel vision'. I'm sure we could be convinced Jillian is in love with CH if anyone ever decided to do a tribute video of them.

Amen, sister! I have come to see the whole thing as a like & lust story. Three guys and a girl having a fun summer adventure across the globe with sun, sex, surf and alcohol. None in love and none are heartbroken at the end. It's just like "Falcon Beach".

Per the contractual obligations, she's long distance dating one of them until she doesn't have to anymore.

[Noobslueth]

I wholeheartedly agree.....I mean it's not like I haven't experienced that myself....the one not on my list. Actually mine was on my list...it just took him awhile to get me on his list through lots of twists and turns.

OMG yes!!! the good on paper guys! Wow ... if I would have went by my list I would have ended up with Jake and while he is a very nice man he would driven me nuts in a forever, til death do us part type situation a la marriage

[Phyllie]

Amen, sister! I have come to see the whole thing as a like & lust story. Three guys and a girl having a fun summer adventure across the globe with sun, sex, surf and alcohol. None in love and none are heartbroken at the end.

Per the contractual obligations, she's long distance dating one of them until she doesn't have to anymore.

Oh yeah...I like your style. My favorite theory so far.

And the eversogenerous Kiptyn pretends for his neurotic friend that he's not sleeping with the girl, and the other guy pretends to have E.D. That way, it's all good.

[FanOfUnrealTV]

I wholeheartedly agree.....I mean it's not like I haven't experienced that myself....the one not on my list. Actually mine was on my list...it just took him awhile to get me on his list through lots of twists and turns.

I realized after writing that I should have included both genders because it happens both directions.