Thoughts and Comments in General #3 **Spoilers** Bachelorette 4 - Page 9

mommyluvsnoah · 06-26-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grahamgroupie

No one does know for sure. The same is true in life. Nothing is certain other than death, but you first must take the risk in order to get the reward from it. She clearly told him that she wanted to see where it would go with him while she was saying goodbye and telling him he was the one she thought she was falling in love with. Her fear that he wouldn't accept the final rose from her is what kept her from going forward -- which is in large part to what Brad did to her -- but, regardless, it is obvious from his interview that the right decision was made all around.

Now this is something we can agree on.

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goldie2 · 06-26-2008, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommyluvsnoah

I don't know if I believe that or not. It is hard to say. I think she wanted him to be the one but after seeing how the HTD went and if the FD or LCD had gone the same way then I don't know if she would have ended up choosing him in the end or not.

I don't think he wanted to be there in the end and I think she was slowly figuring that out. So no, I am not sure she would have ended up keeping him all the way.

Now if things had changed between them in a good way then yeah, probably.

ETA: And FWIW if she had chosen him as F1 I don't think it would have lasted. AFter reading Graham's interview and seeing his limo interview I just don't think the feelings were deep enough. At least not on his side.

Their hometown date was incredible...really...
He said he felt like he was in a real relationship...]right up until about the lastr 5 minutes and it totally weirded out with the editting...something we didn't see..I question this...

The stuff about the Jersey's and how her's had his name on them and he said..Subliminal Message...that was so cute...but obviously they were getting each others message there....

I mean he said he was excited for her to meet his family..that was a BIG deal for him

Just alot of unanswered questions as to what happened which really were not resolved in 5 minutes of a very sad and obviously painful goodbye. for both....

Leading some to wonder realistically where this show will go next....

Grahamgroupie · 06-26-2008, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calypso

TBTB allow something in the edit and sometimes for a reason.

All this Brad talk was leading up to Graham. The parallels with Brad were uncanny. But I don't, for one minute, believe that this is a foreshadowing to the ending of this show, but exactly the opposite.

Hope you're right like I already said because I was truly tired of hearing about what Brad did to her.

Calypso · 06-26-2008, 10:26 PM

I think it was her fear of being rejected that led to this outburst, rather than true love for Graham. By banishing Graham, (and Brad at the same time), she has now opened the door to a new chapter in her life. The focus will now be on that. She looks very happy in the upcoming previews. Getting rid of a bad habit will do that for a person.

meauxwalk · 06-26-2008, 10:30 PM

Here's what I've been thinking after reading pages, and pages, and pages (you get the idea) of comments on Graham, Deanna and the idea of a "default" F1.

Graham has gotten what is, in my opinion, a typical F2 edit. Think about it. Usually the F2 and F1 are stereotypical foils of each other: the passion vs. the stable love; the good vs. the bad; the quiet vs. outspoken--you get the idea. Every season that I can remember the bach/bachette has been shown having to decide between the two major (and very different) personality/character types left. I can't think of a season where the F2 were very similar.

I believe that Graham was likely Deanna's hope for at least F2, along with Jason, and would have been had he given her any hope to base that decision on. We would have had the stable father quiet love vs. passionate physical maybe-he's-not-ready flame at the FRC. We would have seen Deanna's PI where she questioned who the right person for her goals would be.

Then we have the "but..."

Graham didn't give Deanna that hope for a future she was wanting.
Graham wanted to leave.
Or all of the above depending on which camp you're in.

So the thing I don't really understand is this: I've read how some are questioning how Deanna could fall in love with someone else in 2 weeks time after sending Graham home and expressing that it must mean she either doesn't pick anyone or the F1 is default--how is this any worse/harder/different than "getting over" the F2? Can we really expect that the Bach/Bachette is over the F2 person when they (5 minutes, 1/2 hour, few hours later) propose marriage to the F1? I would say "no," unless they didn't feel anything more than platonic friendship for the F2. And yet, the outrage and controversy over Graham seems exponentially more than every single F2. Would we have such bickering over him if he did go to the F2, we saw Deanna fall in love with Jason in the edit, realize he was what she really needed, and then choose him?

I think the drama we are shown with Graham was contrived because the drama with the F2/F1 was not up to par with what Fliess wants. (Yes there were real emotions involved, I'm not denying that in anyway--just commenting on why they would make so much to-do over a F4.) Maybe the decision between Jason and Jesse is so easy and evident that he thought the show needed an injection of the soap-opera.

IMHO, Deanna has just enough possibility of finding the one and having it work as anyone who has come before her.

Grahamgroupie · 06-26-2008, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calypso

I think it was her fear of being rejected that led to this outburst, rather than true love for Graham. By banishing Graham, (and Brad at the same time), she has now opened the door to a new chapter in her life. The focus will now be on that. She looks very happy in the upcoming previews. Getting rid of a bad habit will do that for a person.

You know what, you might be right. Although, I think he helped her get to that by opting to leave. I once told a man that was coming on just a wee bit too strong to "F off" because I wasn't able to say that at an early age when I was being abused. Poor guy wasn't meaning no harm, but it sure did make me feel better.

I just think that the issue isn't with Graham or men like him and Brad, it is something within herself that she needs to discover and either resolve or embrace, because until then, she will continue to sabotauge relationships she has as a means to validate something she believes is true.

Shannonm93 · 06-26-2008, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grahamgroupie

You also have to remember, this interview took place today -- nearly 2 months since he left the show. He has had a lot of time since then to come to that conclusion. During the show and in the setting they placed these guys in, it's harder to determine that.

That's true, but you can't discount what she said ... "And I can't take the chance that I would be standing there and you wouldn't choose me in return." and to me that says more about who she would have chosen than anything, because she knew he was never going to be that person for her. Did she want him to be? Yes. Was he going to be? No and she knew that ... hence her saying that to him during their goodbye.

luvlady345 · 06-26-2008, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calypso

I think it was her fear of being rejected that led to this outburst, rather than true love for Graham. By banishing Graham, (and Brad at the same time), she has now opened the door to a new chapter in her life. The focus will now be on that. She looks very happy in the upcoming previews. Getting rid of a bad habit will do that for a person.

OK, seriously I doubt this, you know I can look happy at any given time even when my world is up side down, heck she even looked happy when Brad broke her heart......I don't think it will be any different trying to carry out her own fairy tale......

Alelady · 06-26-2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calypso

I think it was her fear of being rejected that led to this outburst, rather than true love for Graham. By banishing Graham, (and Brad at the same time), she has now opened the door to a new chapter in her life. The focus will now be on that. She looks very happy in the upcoming previews. Getting rid of a bad habit will do that for a person.

Well, said, and I COMPLETELY agree with you! I posted before Monday's episode that I thought that her breakdown was as much about Brad (and her string of bad luck with guys) as it was about Graham. I think this was a real turning point for her. She looks so very happy starting next week, and I think we're in for a real treat the next couple weeks. I think that the relationship between Deanna and Jason will really start heating up, and that we are about to watch an incredible love story unfold before our very eyes!!

poinsettia · 06-26-2008, 10:34 PM

I think that Deanna had an epiphany on the HTD with Jason's family. It wasn't about bagging the hottest guy in the room. Hopefully she got her priorities right when she witnessed the loving stable family that surrounded Jason and Ty. This was probably the backdrop for the comments about it "changing her life". They can make it if with her newfound personal growth she comes to the realization that it is not always about her. Ty will play a pivotal role in that respect and Jason has the patience and determination to make it work...if she allows him.

06-26-2008, 10:26 PM	#84
Calypso FORT Fan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Florida East Coast-aboard the Calypso! Posts: 341	Re: Thoughts and Comments in General #3 Spoilers Bachelorette 4 I think it was her fear of being rejected that led to this outburst, rather than true love for Graham. By banishing Graham, (and Brad at the same time), she has now opened the door to a new chapter in her life. The focus will now be on that. She looks very happy in the upcoming previews. Getting rid of a bad habit will do that for a person.

06-26-2008, 10:30 PM	#85
meauxwalk FORT Regular Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Idaho Posts: 67	Re: Thoughts and Comments in General #3 Spoilers Bachelorette 4 Here's what I've been thinking after reading pages, and pages, and pages (you get the idea) of comments on Graham, Deanna and the idea of a "default" F1. Graham has gotten what is, in my opinion, a typical F2 edit. Think about it. Usually the F2 and F1 are stereotypical foils of each other: the passion vs. the stable love; the good vs. the bad; the quiet vs. outspoken--you get the idea. Every season that I can remember the bach/bachette has been shown having to decide between the two major (and very different) personality/character types left. I can't think of a season where the F2 were very similar. I believe that Graham was likely Deanna's hope for at least F2, along with Jason, and would have been had he given her any hope to base that decision on. We would have had the stable father quiet love vs. passionate physical maybe-he's-not-ready flame at the FRC. We would have seen Deanna's PI where she questioned who the right person for her goals would be. Then we have the "but..." Graham didn't give Deanna that hope for a future she was wanting. Graham wanted to leave. Or all of the above depending on which camp you're in. So the thing I don't really understand is this: I've read how some are questioning how Deanna could fall in love with someone else in 2 weeks time after sending Graham home and expressing that it must mean she either doesn't pick anyone or the F1 is default--how is this any worse/harder/different than "getting over" the F2? Can we really expect that the Bach/Bachette is over the F2 person when they (5 minutes, 1/2 hour, few hours later) propose marriage to the F1? I would say "no," unless they didn't feel anything more than platonic friendship for the F2. And yet, the outrage and controversy over Graham seems exponentially more than every single F2. Would we have such bickering over him if he did go to the F2, we saw Deanna fall in love with Jason in the edit, realize he was what she really needed, and then choose him? I think the drama we are shown with Graham was contrived because the drama with the F2/F1 was not up to par with what Fliess wants. (Yes there were real emotions involved, I'm not denying that in anyway--just commenting on why they would make so much to-do over a F4.) Maybe the decision between Jason and Jesse is so easy and evident that he thought the show needed an injection of the soap-opera. IMHO, Deanna has just enough possibility of finding the one and having it work as anyone who has come before her.

06-26-2008, 10:34 PM	#90
poinsettia FORT Newbie Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 34	Re: Thoughts and Comments in General #3 Spoilers Bachelorette 4 I think that Deanna had an epiphany on the HTD with Jason's family. It wasn't about bagging the hottest guy in the room. Hopefully she got her priorities right when she witnessed the loving stable family that surrounded Jason and Ty. This was probably the backdrop for the comments about it "changing her life". They can make it if with her newfound personal growth she comes to the realization that it is not always about her. Ty will play a pivotal role in that respect and Jason has the patience and determination to make it work...if she allows him.